Become Good Soil

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is men who have come alive. – Howard Thurman Over two decades ago through his book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge offered men the central thing they were missing: Permission. Permission to recover what God meant when he created masculinity. Permission to recover a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and the courage to fight for beauty with integrity and sacrifice. Permission for us to recover our hearts, as men.  The promise was this: through taking this masculine journey, we would be able in time to bring ourselves as whole-hearted men to the world and to our world.  Thoreau’s words from his seminal work Walden are so often quoted because they ring true: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Yet through the message and mission of Wild at Heart, that desperation has evaporated in hundreds of thousands of men and in its place has been sown a recovered strength and union with God.   As a result, a quiet and unshakable revolution is at hand. It’s a revolution of the human heart. Its epicenter is the restoration of men. And from there, communities, marriages, families, and kingdoms around the globe are being healed. And we’re just getting started. Friends, join John and me as we unpack the story of Wild at Heart, a story more than 25 years in the making. We reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re going. Know this: where we are going will only happen if we lock shields and recover our hearts, together. So join us. Dream with us. Grow with us. And act with us to participate with God in rescuing and restoring the next generation. “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is men who have come alive.” Let’s go. For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download I haven't made all A's in the art of living. But I give a damn. And I'll take an experienced C over an ignorant A any day. – Matthew McConaughey, Greenlights  In Backpacking with the Saints, Belden Lane captures a fundamental mystery of masculine initiation: “What does [a man] do when there’s nothing he can do, when there’s no audience to applaud his performance, when he faces a cold, silent indifference, if not hostility? His world falls to pieces. The soul hungry for approval starves in a desert like that. It reduces the compulsive achiever to something little, utterly ordinary. Only then is he able to be loved.” Masculine initiation has as much to do with unlearning as it does with learning, as much to do with powerlessness as it does with power. How do we attune our hearts, minds, and imaginations to the path of masculine initiation that God is orchestrating right here and now? Friends, join me for an interview on initiation hosted by Nick Carlile on Life Enchanted. For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download To an unaccustomed onlooker, the ancient practices, set prayers, bells, and incense of formal liturgy may seem perplexing or even bizarre. But as I've gone through another round of unlearning and relearning rightly, I've begun to grasp—with the help of longtime ally Simon Kyne—that liturgy was intended to be a grace and essential stream to draw near to God and access the full breadth and depth of his Kingdom. And as is often the case with any structure or institution, the heart of God can get lost in the debris. How do we recover these sacred practices that have stood the test of time? How do we receive afresh the Life of God through the symbols, ceremony, and traditions that anchor us in the past, present, and future reality of God's Kingdom? What can we learn from the labor and love of thousands of years of apprentices who have gone before us? How do we recover an annual rhythm and liturgical calendar that guides us through our months and years and centers it all upon the resurrection of the King of kings and the hope of the Restoration of All Things?  Friends, I want to welcome you to the deep end of the pool with Simon, this faithful guide who has cultivated personal and corporate liturgical practices for four decades. Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will come again. Let's dive in. For the Kingdom, Morgan In the podcast we reference several tools as an onramp into a deeper liturgical practice. You can find those here.

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download “I have not failed. I've just found 1000 ways that won't work.” –Thomas Edison, inventor of electric light What is the path of inner transformation and becoming like Christ? Is such transformation even possible?  Dallas Willard assures us it is readily available.  We can, in time, become the kind of people who naturally bless those who curse us and love our enemies as our normal reaction. However, he presses that it happens only with a compelling vision of the Kingdom, a deliberate decision to seek it, and the engagement of effective means through which the Grace of God can flow as the rushing River of Life that Jesus has promised. Dallas refers to this pattern of human transformation as VIM:  Vision, Intention, and Means.  He argues that we can see the pattern of VIM at work in any effective human endeavor. When it comes to the reformation of our humanity into the image and likeness of Jesus, Dallas argues that “if we are to be spiritually formed in Christ, we must have and must implement the appropriate vision, intention, and means. Not just any path we take will do. [Without these,] Christ simply will not be formed in us.”  (Renovation of the Heart, p. 87) How is the VIM pattern relevant in our quest to become the kind of men to whom our Father can gladly entrust his Kingdom?  Join Cherie and me as we explore the significance of vision, intention, and means more closely. For the Kingdom, Morgan For more, check out Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard:

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Thinking about something rather than trying not to think about something is much more successful. Walking toward rather than away from something allows us to get where we want to go. – Bill Lokey Jesus has an uncanny way of pulling that singular string that, over time, unravels the well-woven fig leaf we use to insulate our true self from being found and restored. One day he uses merciful deliverance; the next, an exacting question. One day he speaks words of life; the next, he allows us to walk away for a time. He is brilliant in modeling distinct streams through which the River of Life can graciously flow. His ways of healing our broken hearts and setting our captive places free seem boundless. Always imaginative, always personal, and always in love.  Among these streams, experiential therapy has been a profound conduit of the River of Life for me and for many; it is one of the great modalities of therapy and healing to consider in our toolbox for the restoration of the masculine soul.   Few in this country are as equipped and experienced in this modality as Bill Lokey. I first came under Bill’s care while he served as Senior Clinical Director at Onsite Workshops for ten years. At Onsite, Bill supervised over 70 therapists throughout the U.S., training them in experiential therapy and designing transforming emotional wellness and recovery programs that have drawn people from all over the world. Bill is most renowned as the loving husband of Laurie and as a beloved father and grandfather. Professionally, he offers learning opportunities and counsel on the topics of trauma, rising through adversity, overcoming codependency, connection in relationships, the impact of a self-protective culture in the workplace, burnout in helping professionals, sexual intimacy in relationships, and more. He and Laurie co-facilitate experiential workshops for churches and organizations to repair their cultures and strengthen their trust, as well as marriage workshops and intensives for couples and groups.   Licensed as a senior psychological examiner for over 23 years and certified as a level-3 experiential therapist with the American Society of Experiential Therapists, Bill stewards a private practice to help clients recover from the the effects of trauma, feeling stuck, relational damage, anxiety, grief, loss, spiritual disconnection, and burnout in life.  His passion is to help leaders whose lives have been broken or impaired find the hope of a tenaciously loving God and the healing that leads them to serve the world from a place of wholeness and integrity. As apprentices of the King and his Kingdom, let’s take a dive into the modality of experiential therapy with the help of this faithful guide. If you're interested in learning more from Bill, connect with him through BillandLaurieLokey.com. In the spirit of shared support, I also want to pass on to you a short list of experiential therapists who've been recommended to us, in case one of them might be a fit along this quest of becoming. I have not personally worked with any of them, so I leave it to you to do your own research and exploration. Bill and Laurie Lokey Abbe Barclay (emphasis: sex addiction and couples) James Horne  Angela Thompson Pina Newman (emphasis: couples) For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | DownloadTo love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. – C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves“If you want to know how well you are doing as a parent, you can gently begin to ask that question when your kids turn 40. In the meantime, today, risk love.” They were generous words spoken to my soul by a wise guide years ago. Dan Allender is wise when he suggests that children really raise parents. Nothing in the world has the power to form us into loving parents like the steady act of parenting through the days and decades. In How Children Raise Parents, Dan goes on to say, “We often realize that we learn as much from our children as they learn from us. So why don’t parents approach the task of child-rearing as a learning experience, rather than a mandate to make sure their kids succeed in life? To reduce the pressure and enjoy greater closeness in your family, turn your parenting upside-down by allowing God to use your children to help you grow up. Imagine what would happen if you began to prize what you’re being taught by your children’s quirks, failures, and normal childhood dilemmas, rather than worrying about whether you’re doing everything right as a parent.” Friends, with a posture of joyfully embracing the “task of child-rearing as a learning experience,” we turn to part two of a conversation Cherie and I hosted with our mentor, counselor, and dear friend, Gary Unruh. His five decades of work with children and families have recovered some of the relational keys that can turn a catastrophe in relationship into a story that will bring us to tears with gratitude in decades to come. In part one, we explored themes from Golden Rule Parenting. In this episode, we dive into LIFT for Children – Love Infusing Fear Therapy. It’s practical, accessible, and a brilliant onramp to recapture the hearts of children and deepen any other relationship entrusted to your care. To love is to be vulnerable. Having faithful, wise guides like Gary can help us keep risking in love. Let’s dive in. For the Kingdom, Morgan For Gary’s counseling services you can connect with him at GaryUnruhTherapy.com.

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download He was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another obscure village where he trained and worked as a carpenter until he was thirty. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never went to college. He never traveled more than two hundred miles from the place where he was born. He did none of the things usually associated with greatness. He had no credentials but himself. He was only thirty-three. His friends abandoned him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery and humiliation of an unjust trial. He was nailed to a cross between two thieves. While dying, his executioners gambled for his clothing, the only property he had on earth at his death. He was laid in a borrowed grave. All the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed, all the governments that have ever governed, and all the kings who have ever reigned have not affected the life of humankind on earth as powerfully as that one solitary life. – Author Unknown Pause with me for a moment and look back through your calendar over the past year. Deeper still, pick up your smartphone or computer and take five minutes right now to scroll through your photos from the last twelve months. No doubt, it was a year to remember. For all of us in ways big or small, it was a year of shaking. I’m curious where your heart is landing as the year comes to a close. Or if you have even had the margin to check in and notice where your heart is during these days. I offer this podcast as an invitation to remember and also pause and reflect again on the impact of the coming of the Messiah on all that is unfolding in our lives and in our world. With the help of a Zechariah the Priest, who faithfully served at his post for nearly four decades in daily anticipation for the Arrival of the King, let’s look back and look forward. Let’s feel the depth and breadth of our heart’s journey over this past year, and let us turn to the hope of the Revolution that is at hand in our stories and in the lives of all those we hold dear.  In this podcast, I feature an extended quote from The Indescribable Gift, written by Richard Exeley and illustrated by Phil Boatright. I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and tuck it away with your Advent wreath to revisit each December. It's out of print but you can still pick up a used copy through Amazon. May the action of our Coming King in you and through you refresh your heart and enliven your hope as you prepare and anticipate his Coming Again. Finally, may we be reminded of why it matters and what it brings to the world through your lives, by watching this moving video shared with our community through one of our alumni: https://youtu.be/Fz1q8NWbExc For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download “What grieves God most is not our sin but our refusing to believe that he is so kind, and that he desires to be with us so much more than we do with him.” – Rankin Wilbourne, Union with Christ How often do you have the opportunity to connect with a man who has invested five decades listening to the hearts and stories of over 5000 children and their families? If this generation has a few fathers among us, Gary Unruh is one of them. From serving people at the helm of a large organization in the early years of his career, to piloting at the helm of a small sailboat in open water for joy and soul-care, Gary is a man God has transformed in Love, drawn into deeper union, and empowered to care profoundly well for the hearts of thousands entrusted to his care. One by one. After being Gary's counseling clients for years, meeting with him in his sacred, nondescript office, Cherie and I had a chance to host him on the Become Good Soil podcast. Our hope is to bring his 76 years of insight from his heart to yours. Join us as we explore healthy attachment and the deepest needs of the human heart. Whether for the quest of parenting our children, loving well in our marriages, or caring for the hearts closest to us, Gary guides us to see outward behavior as fruit of emotion, and emotion in the body as the great reflection of the condition, longings, fears, and needs of our Center. When we seek to see, understand, and validate another human at their Center, we unleash the power of Love. We can be well. And we can become the kind of people who offer love to others with greater effect as we increasingly receive it from the heart of God for ourselves. Let’s dive in to part one and learn how. The big ideas that shape this podcast can be found in Gary’s book Golden Rule Parenting. I recommend you read and put into practice these accessible and transformational tools for healing relationships entrusted to your care. For Gary’s counseling services, you can connect with him at GaryUnruhTherapy.com. For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download There is no good trying to be more spiritual than God. God never meant man to be a purely spiritual creature. That is why he uses material things like bread and wine to put the new life into us. We may think this rather crude and unspiritual. God does not: he invented eating. He likes matter. He invented it. – C. S. Lewis What if our bodies are guides for the path to become the kind of human in whom the image of God is being restored? What if the sensations, pain, reactions, protests, and needs of our bodies are evidence of what is right with us rather than what is wrong? What if our bodies carry invaluable data about our stories and our destiny with God that can serve as a reliable compass pointing to freedom? And what if there was a way to feel utterly well in our own skin and story? It’s my joy to lean into the trauma-informed story work that my wife, Cherie, has explored for two decades. May this conversation be one more step for all of us toward the wholeness that Jesus offers in the marvel and promise of our embodied life. For the Kingdom,

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Shall I abandon, O King of mysteries, the soft comforts of home? Shall I turn my back on my native land, and turn my face towards the sea? Shall I leave the prints of my knees on the sandy beach, a record of my final prayer in my native land? Shall I then suffer every kind of wound that the sea can inflict? Shall I take my tiny boat across the wide sparkling ocean? O King of the Glorious Heaven, shall I go of my own choice upon the sea? O Christ, will you help me on the wild waves? (excerpt from the Prayer of St. Brendan) Eugene Peterson once said, “The clarities of faith are organic and personal, not mechanical and institutional. Faith invades the muddle; it does not eliminate it. Peace develops in the midst of chaos. Harmony is achieved slowly, quietly, unobtrusively—like the effects of salt and light. Such clarities result from a courageous commitment to God, not from controlling or being controlled by others. Such clarities come from adventuring deep into the mysteries of God’s will and love, not by cautiously managing and moralizing in ways that minimize risk and guarantee self-importance.” (Running with the Horses) There are few means more potent for venturing into these mysteries than to recover the questions of God. It’s my joy to invite you into part two of the Become Good Soil podcast series on The Inquisitive Christ with our winsome, American-born, Irish-bred lady of the questions, Cara Murphy. For the Kingdom, Connect with Cara and find out more.