Become Good Soil

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Thinking about something rather than trying not to think about something is much more successful. Walking toward rather than away from something allows us to get where we want to go. – Bill Lokey Jesus has an uncanny way of pulling that singular string that, over time, unravels the well-woven fig leaf we use to insulate our true self from being found and restored. One day he uses merciful deliverance; the next, an exacting question. One day he speaks words of life; the next, he allows us to walk away for a time. He is brilliant in modeling distinct streams through which the River of Life can graciously flow. His ways of healing our broken hearts and setting our captive places free seem boundless. Always imaginative, always personal, and always in love.  Among these streams, experiential therapy has been a profound conduit of the River of Life for me and for many; it is one of the great modalities of therapy and healing to consider in our toolbox for the restoration of the masculine soul.   Few in this country are as equipped and experienced in this modality as Bill Lokey. I first came under Bill’s care while he served as Senior Clinical Director at Onsite Workshops for ten years. At Onsite, Bill supervised over 70 therapists throughout the U.S., training them in experiential therapy and designing transforming emotional wellness and recovery programs that have drawn people from all over the world. Bill is most renowned as the loving husband of Laurie and as a beloved father and grandfather. Professionally, he offers learning opportunities and counsel on the topics of trauma, rising through adversity, overcoming codependency, connection in relationships, the impact of a self-protective culture in the workplace, burnout in helping professionals, sexual intimacy in relationships, and more. He and Laurie co-facilitate experiential workshops for churches and organizations to repair their cultures and strengthen their trust, as well as marriage workshops and intensives for couples and groups.   Licensed as a senior psychological examiner for over 23 years and certified as a level-3 experiential therapist with the American Society of Experiential Therapists, Bill stewards a private practice to help clients recover from the the effects of trauma, feeling stuck, relational damage, anxiety, grief, loss, spiritual disconnection, and burnout in life.  His passion is to help leaders whose lives have been broken or impaired find the hope of a tenaciously loving God and the healing that leads them to serve the world from a place of wholeness and integrity. As apprentices of the King and his Kingdom, let’s take a dive into the modality of experiential therapy with the help of this faithful guide. If you're interested in learning more from Bill, connect with him through BillandLaurieLokey.com. In the spirit of shared support, I also want to pass on to you a short list of experiential therapists who've been recommended to us, in case one of them might be a fit along this quest of becoming. I have not personally worked with any of them, so I leave it to you to do your own research and exploration. Bill and Laurie Lokey Abbe Barclay (emphasis: sex addiction and couples) James Horne  Angela Thompson Pina Newman (emphasis: couples) For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | DownloadTo love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. – C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves“If you want to know how well you are doing as a parent, you can gently begin to ask that question when your kids turn 40. In the meantime, today, risk love.” They were generous words spoken to my soul by a wise guide years ago. Dan Allender is wise when he suggests that children really raise parents. Nothing in the world has the power to form us into loving parents like the steady act of parenting through the days and decades. In How Children Raise Parents, Dan goes on to say, “We often realize that we learn as much from our children as they learn from us. So why don’t parents approach the task of child-rearing as a learning experience, rather than a mandate to make sure their kids succeed in life? To reduce the pressure and enjoy greater closeness in your family, turn your parenting upside-down by allowing God to use your children to help you grow up. Imagine what would happen if you began to prize what you’re being taught by your children’s quirks, failures, and normal childhood dilemmas, rather than worrying about whether you’re doing everything right as a parent.” Friends, with a posture of joyfully embracing the “task of child-rearing as a learning experience,” we turn to part two of a conversation Cherie and I hosted with our mentor, counselor, and dear friend, Gary Unruh. His five decades of work with children and families have recovered some of the relational keys that can turn a catastrophe in relationship into a story that will bring us to tears with gratitude in decades to come. In part one, we explored themes from Golden Rule Parenting. In this episode, we dive into LIFT for Children – Love Infusing Fear Therapy. It’s practical, accessible, and a brilliant onramp to recapture the hearts of children and deepen any other relationship entrusted to your care. To love is to be vulnerable. Having faithful, wise guides like Gary can help us keep risking in love. Let’s dive in. For the Kingdom, Morgan For Gary’s counseling services you can connect with him at GaryUnruhTherapy.com.

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download He was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another obscure village where he trained and worked as a carpenter until he was thirty. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never went to college. He never traveled more than two hundred miles from the place where he was born. He did none of the things usually associated with greatness. He had no credentials but himself. He was only thirty-three. His friends abandoned him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery and humiliation of an unjust trial. He was nailed to a cross between two thieves. While dying, his executioners gambled for his clothing, the only property he had on earth at his death. He was laid in a borrowed grave. All the armies that have ever marched, all the navies that have ever sailed, all the governments that have ever governed, and all the kings who have ever reigned have not affected the life of humankind on earth as powerfully as that one solitary life. – Author Unknown Pause with me for a moment and look back through your calendar over the past year. Deeper still, pick up your smartphone or computer and take five minutes right now to scroll through your photos from the last twelve months. No doubt, it was a year to remember. For all of us in ways big or small, it was a year of shaking. I’m curious where your heart is landing as the year comes to a close. Or if you have even had the margin to check in and notice where your heart is during these days. I offer this podcast as an invitation to remember and also pause and reflect again on the impact of the coming of the Messiah on all that is unfolding in our lives and in our world. With the help of a Zechariah the Priest, who faithfully served at his post for nearly four decades in daily anticipation for the Arrival of the King, let’s look back and look forward. Let’s feel the depth and breadth of our heart’s journey over this past year, and let us turn to the hope of the Revolution that is at hand in our stories and in the lives of all those we hold dear.  In this podcast, I feature an extended quote from The Indescribable Gift, written by Richard Exeley and illustrated by Phil Boatright. I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and tuck it away with your Advent wreath to revisit each December. It's out of print but you can still pick up a used copy through Amazon. May the action of our Coming King in you and through you refresh your heart and enliven your hope as you prepare and anticipate his Coming Again. Finally, may we be reminded of why it matters and what it brings to the world through your lives, by watching this moving video shared with our community through one of our alumni: https://youtu.be/Fz1q8NWbExc For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download “What grieves God most is not our sin but our refusing to believe that he is so kind, and that he desires to be with us so much more than we do with him.” – Rankin Wilbourne, Union with Christ How often do you have the opportunity to connect with a man who has invested five decades listening to the hearts and stories of over 5000 children and their families? If this generation has a few fathers among us, Gary Unruh is one of them. From serving people at the helm of a large organization in the early years of his career, to piloting at the helm of a small sailboat in open water for joy and soul-care, Gary is a man God has transformed in Love, drawn into deeper union, and empowered to care profoundly well for the hearts of thousands entrusted to his care. One by one. After being Gary's counseling clients for years, meeting with him in his sacred, nondescript office, Cherie and I had a chance to host him on the Become Good Soil podcast. Our hope is to bring his 76 years of insight from his heart to yours. Join us as we explore healthy attachment and the deepest needs of the human heart. Whether for the quest of parenting our children, loving well in our marriages, or caring for the hearts closest to us, Gary guides us to see outward behavior as fruit of emotion, and emotion in the body as the great reflection of the condition, longings, fears, and needs of our Center. When we seek to see, understand, and validate another human at their Center, we unleash the power of Love. We can be well. And we can become the kind of people who offer love to others with greater effect as we increasingly receive it from the heart of God for ourselves. Let’s dive in to part one and learn how. The big ideas that shape this podcast can be found in Gary’s book Golden Rule Parenting. I recommend you read and put into practice these accessible and transformational tools for healing relationships entrusted to your care. For Gary’s counseling services, you can connect with him at GaryUnruhTherapy.com. For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download There is no good trying to be more spiritual than God. God never meant man to be a purely spiritual creature. That is why he uses material things like bread and wine to put the new life into us. We may think this rather crude and unspiritual. God does not: he invented eating. He likes matter. He invented it. – C. S. Lewis What if our bodies are guides for the path to become the kind of human in whom the image of God is being restored? What if the sensations, pain, reactions, protests, and needs of our bodies are evidence of what is right with us rather than what is wrong? What if our bodies carry invaluable data about our stories and our destiny with God that can serve as a reliable compass pointing to freedom? And what if there was a way to feel utterly well in our own skin and story? It’s my joy to lean into the trauma-informed story work that my wife, Cherie, has explored for two decades. May this conversation be one more step for all of us toward the wholeness that Jesus offers in the marvel and promise of our embodied life. For the Kingdom,

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Shall I abandon, O King of mysteries, the soft comforts of home? Shall I turn my back on my native land, and turn my face towards the sea? Shall I leave the prints of my knees on the sandy beach, a record of my final prayer in my native land? Shall I then suffer every kind of wound that the sea can inflict? Shall I take my tiny boat across the wide sparkling ocean? O King of the Glorious Heaven, shall I go of my own choice upon the sea? O Christ, will you help me on the wild waves? (excerpt from the Prayer of St. Brendan) Eugene Peterson once said, “The clarities of faith are organic and personal, not mechanical and institutional. Faith invades the muddle; it does not eliminate it. Peace develops in the midst of chaos. Harmony is achieved slowly, quietly, unobtrusively—like the effects of salt and light. Such clarities result from a courageous commitment to God, not from controlling or being controlled by others. Such clarities come from adventuring deep into the mysteries of God’s will and love, not by cautiously managing and moralizing in ways that minimize risk and guarantee self-importance.” (Running with the Horses) There are few means more potent for venturing into these mysteries than to recover the questions of God. It’s my joy to invite you into part two of the Become Good Soil podcast series on The Inquisitive Christ with our winsome, American-born, Irish-bred lady of the questions, Cara Murphy. For the Kingdom, Connect with Cara and find out more.

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download “The intention of God is that we should each become the kind of person whom he can set free in his universe, empowered to do what we want to do. Just as we desire and intend this, so far as possible, for our children and others we love, so God desires and intends it for his children. But the character, the inner directedness of the self, must develop to the point where that is possible.” –Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Recovering Our Hidden Life in God “What do you want me to do for you?” It’s a soul-penetrating question from Jesus to each of us. And it is not the only one; the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures record God asking over 300 questions of humans. Curiosity, it seems, might be at the epicenter of the Father’s heart. If intimate, mutual knowing is the point (and given the often hidden nature of what is really going on inside of us), there is nothing more incisive and connecting in our relationship with God than the questions he is asking us on this very day. How do we recover these most precious questions?  Cara Murphy is a woman of the questions. She is an apprentice of the King, a mother, a wife, and a thirsty, wild-hearted lady of wisdom. Through her craft and care, we’re welcomed back to God’s ways of igniting imagination, intellect, and soul. It’s my joy to explore her book, The Inquisitive Christ, together and recover some of the central questions needed in this hour on the earth. Let’s dive in to part one of a two-part Become Good Soil podcast series. For the Kingdom, Connect with Cara and find out more.

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download God, grant me character greater than my gifts and humility greater than my influence. –Scott Sauls “God, if this is not your will, may it be rendered fruitless.” Who  prays that kind of prayer? Very few indeed. Yet Zach Thomas does, and he has prayed this prayer again and again and again. A husband, father of seven children, author of Leader Farming, and Kingdom entrepreneur through and through, Zach is a man who has consented to the path and process of becoming the kind of man to whom our Father can gladly entrust the care of his Kingdom. It’s my joy and privilege to invite you into this soul-strengthening conversation with a fellow Kingdom apprentice. Let’s dive in. For the Kingdom, Morgan

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download "We must empty ourselves of that with which we are full so that we might fill ourselves with that of which we are empty." –St. Augustine of Hippo, 425 A.D. How do we become the kind of men who have nothing to fear, nothing to hide, and nothing to prove? Our Father is making available the way to becoming this kind of man every moment of every day. All that is needed to access it is the simple and powerful act of consent, consenting in this day and for this decade to the slow and steady process of becoming wholehearted. Join John and me and the participants of the 2019 Become Good Soil Intensive for an honest and vulnerable conversation as we dive deep into the mystery and possibility of recovering our whole hearts and the wellspring of life Jesus promises will well up from within. Jesus says it’s possible; we are testing his audacious claim and finding it to be true. Join us. And for those of you interested in diving even deeper into the mission and message of Become Good Soil, the deadline for 2021 Intensive applications is fast approaching. We will review and pray over all completed applications received by November 1st. Find out more here. Participating in a Wild at Heart BASIC as facilitator or attendee or attending a Wild at Heart Boot Camp is a prerequisite for any Intensive, so you’ll want to check those two opportunities out if you haven’t done so yet. Nothing to fear. Nothing to hide. Nothing to prove. It’s available. Let’s recover the ancient path together. For the Kingdom,

Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Friends, As we anticipate the next Become Good Soil Intensive event—we are now accepting applications—I want to feature stories of what our Father is accomplishing through this message: stories of heroic men recovering heart, strength, joy and intimacy; stories of heroic women championing those men; and stories of women benefiting from men who have risked getting curious about the landscape of their souls and consenting to the process of becoming the kind of king to whom God can entrust his Kingdom. I am blessed to have now cultivated quite a number of allies living this message, including the friends whose lives I have the privilege of seeing up close. I reached out to a few of these men to ask if I could invite their wives into a conversation. What I wanted to hear is what it’s been like for the women to live with their men. I wanted to hear from each woman how she would respond to this question: What is the fruit of the message of becoming a king in your husband's life?   I’m confident you’ll enjoy listening to these three candid and courageous women and the stories they generously share. Above all, my hope is that as you listen, your heart is strengthened with deep assurance of the radical transformation and care that our Father promises along this way. As you hear the fruit of consenting to a decade of becoming, if you're compelled to find out more about the Become Good Soil Intensive, you are on time. We're accepting applications now. For the Kingdom, Morgan