Stay-at-home and working-moms: Embrace the season you're in with Paula FarisAs moms, we all work. We know that. However, our culture wants us to find a camp and defend it. We find ourselves in a “stay-at-home” world or a “working moms” world. Paula Faris is a dear friend of mine and is just who we needed on this podcast topic. Like many of us, Paula has worked in many lanes since becoming a mom. She has worked full-time on Good Morning America and The View. She has also had a season at home with her kids and is now working from home on her new brand, Carry Media.Paula and I chat about how often we (moms) judge each other’s decisions and what we really need is support and understanding. What if we could end these mommy wars and all get on the same train of support? In this episode, we also talk about how employers could help shift the work environment for mothers in the future. Paula speaks from the true heart of an advocate that is using her voice and platform to fight for the working moms.My favorite part is when Paula encourages moms to embrace each season. That we don’t need to defend our choices - but just follow God’s voice for our particular season and our family’s needs. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Paula’s book: You Don’t Have To Carry It AllPaula’s children’s book: Who Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?CARRY MediaPaula’s InstagramCynthia Yanof's book: Life is Messy, God is GoodOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” —Jeremiah 17:7We all want to raise confident kids, but the hard part is making sure their confidence comes from the right source: God himself. We live in a culture that esteems strong finances, good looks, prestigious jobs, and realized dreams—none of which are lasting or fulfilling. When we look to find our confidence in the things of this world, we will never find satisfaction. Solomon, among the wisest and wealthiest of all time, describes the pursuits of this world as “utterly meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). He pursued everything the world had to offer only to conclude that there’s “nothing new under the sun” so we should only “fear god and keep his commandments.”The great irony of the gospel is that only in acknowledging our insufficiency can God do his greatest work by strengthening us.Let’s pray that our kids are marked by confidence in things with lasting value:The promise that God will complete every good work in them (Philippians 1:6)Their identity as children of God (2 Corinthians 5:17)The good news of the gospel and their eternity with Jesus (John 3:16)The opportunity to approach God boldly in prayer, knowing that he hears them (Hebrews 4:16)Lord, this world is filled with uncertainty that threatens to rock our confidence. But you are steadfast and reliable, showing favor on your children and building them up to accomplish your purposes. Please give [name] a confident spirit marked by their reliance on you.God’s word speaks: Psalm 27: 3, Philippians 4:13; Psalm 139:13–14; Romans 8:28Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

She’s baaaccckkkk!!! Did you know that Cynthia Yanof was the first host of Pardon The Mess? She passed the podcast baton to me in May and through this process has become a dear friend. I’m absolutely thrilled to catch up with her today.We talk about how to find and follow the God-sized calling on your life. She shares about her personal journey with foster care and adoption and what that step of faith did for their family. It will get you so excited and expectant to look for what God is calling you to do and to run after it. We don’t want to miss these moments that matter in our lives! If we’re honest though, we often feel like we don’t know what that looks like and how to discern what God is saying to us.I also loved when we chatted about the world’s expectations for us (and our kids) to be extraordinary. Her encouragement for us to embrace the ordinary is really encouraging. We see measurable “success” all around us and it looks so very big and flashy. Cynthia reminds us that the most God-honoring things we can do each day are likely not measurable.Be sure to go check out her new book, Life Is Messy, God Is Good, that releases next week. We are so proud of you Cynthia! And thankful for the way you’ve model faithfulness to God for so many years. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Courtney & Cynthia - Pardon The Mess announcement Part 1 and Part 2CynthiaYanof.ComCynthia’s InstagramCynthia’s PodcastCynthia’s New Book: Life Is Messy, God Is GoodDiscipleship Guide:  cpgive.org Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” —Isaiah 40:31A few years ago, Pew Research released a poll revealing that seven in ten US teens considered anxiety and depression a major problem among their peers. Of those participating in the poll, 61 percent indicated they felt pressure to get good grades, while 29 percent felt pressure to look good and 28 percent felt pressure to fit in socially.Considering that our culture’s expectations are so often arbitrary and impossible to meet, it’s not surprising that our kids struggle with anxiety and depression. When the world ties our worth to materiality and performance, it feels hopeless because we’re only as good as our most recent accomplishment or latest accolade.But, as Christians, our hope is in the Lord. Practically speaking, that means we’re not looking to the world to meet our greatest needs and desires, Rather, we look to God. Biblical hope is not just desiring for something good to happen in our lives; it’s a confident expectation that God will actually do it.There are so many reasons for our kids to be hopeful in the Lord: He has good plans for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11).He leads and teaches them in his ways (Psalm 32:8).He will fulfill his greater purpose in their lives (Psalm 138:8).He will establish their plans (Proverbs 16:3).He promises to work all things together for their good (Romans 8:28).The Pew Research statistics confirm what we already know: we need to diligently pray that our kids are not weighed down by impossible standards of our culture, but that they will be marked by a hope found only in the Lord.Lord, there is no hope without you. Use [name] as an instrument to take your hope to those around them. Take our days, Lord—the good, the bad, the easy, the hard—and show us the greater picture of hope found only in you.God’s word speaks: Ephesians 1:18; Jeremiah 29:11; Mark 9:23; Psalm 33:18Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

David Thomas never disappoints! As a counselor with decades of experience, David has counseled thousands of families of boys. He brings powerful insight, practical tips, and heartfelt encouragement. You may be wondering if you are failing at this parenting thing or if there might be something wrong with your son. After this episode, I think you will feel much better about your parenting and your amazing son. David agrees with the assessment that there is a “boy crisis” happening, as this article suggests. Reach out to us on social media - do you agree? Are you seeing “disinterest” in your son’s world too?My biggest takeaway is when David distinguishes between “hard” and “harmful.” I have daughters - but I needed to hear this encouragement. Too often, I help them escape hard things because I believe they are in harm’s way when they are not. Many times, my kids are pushing back against discomfort and you’ll hear how this is needed and actually good for them.This is one of those episodes you need to listen to, file away, save, listen again, and then discuss with a friend. Do not lose hope! Jesus has you and your kiddos. I’m so thankful he brings us so many wonderful and biblical mentors like David Thomas to help guide us through these parenting challenges. Don’t miss the last part when David reminds us that we have an opportunity and many years left to equip, empower and encourage all the kids we love.Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Dr. Anthony Bradley article about boy crisis Daystar Counseling Raising Boys and Girls InstagramRaising Boys and Girls Podcast Raising Emotionally Strong Boys (for parents)Strong and Smart (guide for boys)Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea SquirrelsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32 Compassion is one of the defining characteristics of God. He’s sympathetic to our struggles and burdened by what burdens us. But, even more than simply feeling compassion and sympathy toward us emotionally, his compassionate nature moves him to act on our behalf. This compassion turned to action is most evident when we consider the cross. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). That’s the overwhelming grace behind a compassionate God working all things for the good of his children.  If compassion is central to the gospel, what should it look like in our lives? Henri Nouwen describes it this way: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless.” As we pray compassion for our kids this week, we’re praying that it’s more than a fleeting emotion. Rather, we’re praying that it’s evident in their actions. Pray that they stand up for the vulnerable, fight for the oppressed, and are intolerant of injustices around them. Lord, your word calls us to have compassion and love for others. Please give [name] a compassionate heart to see the things that burden you and a spirit of determination to help others in whatever way you lead. Slow us down and give us discernment to see the needs around us and not to tolerate the things that break your heart. God’s word speaks:1 Peter 3:8; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4; Colossians 3:12; Lamentations 3:22–23Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy New Year!!!Do you love the reset that comes with a New Year or does it stress you out? Either way, I think you’re going to find this conversation refreshing. It’s simple. It’s practical. And very doable.On Pardon The Mess, we talk a lot about being intentional with our families. We talk about our values and how we are going to instill those into our kids. The truth is that all of that takes time and money - which is not an endless pot. I wish it wouldn’t run out. As we begin the year, let’s hear from my friend Shawna Sullivan on some ways we can stop wasting time and money. And then, print her simple guide called “Make It Count” and just spend a few minutes thinking ahead through the year. My favorite part is when she encourages us to cut the mindless spending. She calls it a “slow leak.” I am so so guilty of this and I do think it would help our budget a ton if I’d cut the slow leak (also known as TJ Maxx).You will not feel judged or shamed in this episode. You will feel encouraged to make some small shifts to steward your time and money more wisely this year. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Shawna on Instagram ShawnaSullivan.comFree Download - "Make It Count" Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea SquirrelsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”—John 17:17Sadie Robertson Huff has said that when she went to her mom for advice during struggles in her teenage years, her mom would always “meet her with Jesus”Meeting our kids with Jesus just might be the most significant thing we can do in our kids’ lives. Satan is the father of lies, looking for ways to misguide and deceive us at every turn. Only in Jesus will we find real truth, especially in a culture that rejects absolute truth.Jesus, you are the truth that overcomes the lies of the Enemy and shines light in the darkness. Help my family to identify the lies we’re believing, replacing them with the truth of your word. Give [name] an increasing understanding of who you are and your great love for them. Fill our families with hope, joy, and truth that comes only from you.God's word speaks: Psalm 119:151; John 14:6; 2 Timothy 3:16; John 10:10Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy New Year!!! Let’s take a big sigh together. The New Year can be intense and overwhelming right out of the gate. I don’t know if you’re entering 2024 with a lot of shame or excitement. This episode is such a breath of fresh air that made me feel hopeful.I did this interview live at my church (Compass Church Colleyville) when Ruth was the guest speaker at our Christmas women’s event. It was so fun to do this in person and get to meet and sit with someone I have long admired.You will sense PEACE when you hear from Ruth. She just oozes truth and encouragement that we all need in our lives. We have some fun and also discuss some parenting tips along the way. When a mom of 6 BOYS speaks up, I listen.My favorite part is how she provides a way to read the Bible. A lens we can have to simply get to know the character of God with every moment we’re in His Word. For many years, I think I looked for me in the story and left feeling really discouraged and not enough. When we look for God instead - it can be a game changer in how we encounter our Heavenly Father.Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with RuthRuth’s latest book, PilgrimPre-Order Ruth’s next book, Now and Not YetRuth’s jeweler, Mud Lowery Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” —Psalm 90:12 Every seasoned parent knows how quickly time passes when you’re in the throes of raising kids. It seems like one day they’re toddlers and the next day you’re visiting colleges. Despite being cautioned that “the days are long, but the years are short,” it’s still hard to appreciate how fast it passes until you’re on the other side looking back. As we start a new year, it’s a great time for our families to remember to number our days because time is fleeting. Counting our days is not meant to be mathematical, but missional. It’s living today as if you have no tomorrow. It’s making the most of every God-given opportunity, knowing that missed opportunities are often our greatest regrets. David understood the brevity of life when he wrote, “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure” (Psalm 39:5). As we pray for our kids to number their days, ask the Lord to give them the wisdom to evaluate every decision and opportunity through the lens of eternity. Lord, you are the God of the past, present, and future. We claim your promise that for every good work you begin in our kids, you will carry it to the point of completion. Please impress upon [name] the importance of numbering their days, knowing there is nothing more important or significant than the plans you have for them in this moment.God’s word speaks: Psalm 39:4; Ephesians 5:15; James 4:14–15; Psalm 144:4Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy