Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Alright guys, stop what you’re doing because I have the perfect summer experiment for us to do with our kids this month!   More accurately, Kay Wyma has the perfect 30-day experiment, and we’re talking all about it today on Pardon the Mess.   It’s called The Peace Project: A 30-Day Experiment Practicing Thankfulness, Kindness, and Mercy. What is it you ask?   The Peace Project is an experiment that invites us to experience lasting personal peace by getting serious about showing thankfulness, kindness, and mercy with everyone and everything we encounter each day.   Kay shares with us how this concept came about and the impact it’s had on her life and the lives of those around her. She’s practical in showing us what it looks like each day and how she’s lived in some really hard places this last year in complete peace because God reframed her perspective.   Let’s be honest: peace is a distant memory when all these kids are home all day asking for food, activities, and attention. I urge you to take a few minutes today to listen to our conversation and then join my family as we embark on this 30-day journey of showing thankfulness, kindness, and mercy.   There are few things we need more of on this side of heaven than peace. I just know God’s going to do big things through this experiment—so let’s do it together!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’m so excited about today’s podcast with my dear friend, Clint Schumacher. He’s talking with us about the importance of resiliency which he defines as our “ability to deal with adversity in a positive and meaningful way.”   If we’ve learned anything from 2020-2021, it’s the importance of resilience in the face of uncertainty and allowing our faith to ground us during the hard times.   As much as I like to consider my own resilience and places where I need some work in this area, I’m even more excited about our discussion on fostering resiliency in our kids. I realize that given the choice we would probably prefer to shield our kids from all adversity, but that’s not realistic and doesn’t allow us to train them to walk the hard places well.   Don’t miss our practical discussion on the decisions resilient people make and common barriers to resilience such as resentment, shame, and self-pity. Oh, and don’t worry if you happen to have a kid who is . . . let’s say . . . lacking in the resiliency department (we’ve all got that one )—it can be developed with a little bit of intentionality on our part.   Take a few minutes to consider this important topic with me today, and then grab a copy of Clint Schumacher’s new book Second Wind: Decisions the Resilient Make to Overcome Adversity. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Max Lucado is on the show again today, and I kind of feel like it’s Christmas because... well it’s Max Lucado, and he’s pure gold! I’m sure I’ve said this many times before, but I’m hard pressed to find many authors whose books have impacted my faith more than those of Max Lucado.   I’m especially grateful as I’ve watched him bring God back into the narrative this past year, speaking to virtually every media outlet and giving hope to our struggling country. We talk about that today as well as so many other things you just don’t want to miss.   Here’s a little preview: truths to share with your kids post-pandemic, remembering the lessons we’ve learned as we re-enter life, teaching our kids to pray audacious prayers, how to disagree well with those around us, practical ways to spend time with God each day, and helping our kids work through their emotional hard places.   Take a few minutes in the midst of the May craziness to hear a good word from Max Lucado, and then please share it with a friend. And you will definitely want to grab a copy of his new children’s book Where’d My Giggle Go for all the littles in your life.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s officially here, the last week of our prayer journal!   I have mixed emotions as we wrap up the 2020–2021school year, especially as the mom of a graduating senior. Yet I’m so thankful that even as we’ve braved the hard places of a pandemic, we’ve come together each week (okay, most weeks) to faithfully pray that our kids are marked by the things of God.   We’ve prayed that our kids are marked with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.   Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love (Matthew 28). The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.   But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles. Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.   Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids are marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.   I’m so grateful for your investment in praying for your kids, and I hope you’ve seen God’s hand move in remarkable ways in their lives.   Have a wonderful summer and keep listening to Pardon the Mess on Thursdays as we have lots of great shows coming your way. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It was about seven years ago when my husband and I realized the Lord was nudging us to explore foster care. And just in case you’re new to the Pardon the Mess family, the long story is we finally did what we were called to do and our lives are forever changed by fostering and adopting our little one, JB.   As I look back on my 20s and 30s, I kind of wish someone would have kicked me in the pants and told me to slow down and pray about God’s unique calling for my life. Maybe it should have been obvious, but I was so busy chasing after my own dreams that I wonder how many of God’s dreams I overlooked in the process.   Because of this, I want to very honestly ask if you’ve prayed about God’s calling for your life right now? Do you know that he has very specific plans for your life which he created long before you took even one breath? Might I encourage you to not fall into the trap I did for so long of missing his still quiet voice because of busy schedules and big agendas.   We’re talking about all of this today, and I’m thrilled to have Harmony Klingenmeyer with me. We discuss the good, bad, and ugly of foster care—however, my prayer is that you will take foster care and use it as the blank to fill in for whatever God is calling you to.   I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen to today’s show and then stop and pray that God will reveal any callings on your life that you may be missing. Take it from me—chasing after the things of God will change your life forever, and I’ve got a 5 year old cutie to prove it!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s almost unbelievable that we’re down to our last two weeks of praying through the 2020–2021 prayer journal. As we’re beginning to wrap it up, I’m just so thankful that you’ve been doing this together with me.    As we pray this week for our kids to be marked by “remembering,” we’re praying they will trust God’s faithfulness in their present circumstances because they have seen his goodness in the past.    I love the reference to an Ebenezer stone in 1 Samuel 7. After experiencing a huge battle victory, Samuel grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.” Samuel knew the Israelites’ battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.    Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy.     What are the Ebenezers in your family? Let’s talk about it on today’s podcast and pray together that our kids are marked by remembering that God will protect all of their days when they are surrendered to him. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lysa TerKeurst joins us today for a second time on Pardon the Mess, and she’s coming in hot (that’s a good thing, BTW)!    I’m continually blown away by how the Lord is using the hard places Lysa has faced in her marriage and health to show his goodness and redemption so powerfully.    Lysa and I talk about so much today, but here are a few of my favorite discussion points:    - Forgiving what you can’t forget - What forgiveness is and what it is not - Reframing life’s struggles as a tension to manage, not a problem to solve - Reminders that bad moments don’t make bad mamas - The importance of “Seeing Beautiful Again” even when it’s complicated   One more thing: I had a Pardon the Mess first during this interview where I may or may not have cried at one point. I know, right?    But truth is powerful, and I’m so thankful that we have Lysa joining us on today’s show. Listen, share it with friends, and be encouraged!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit.   We’re kicking off this week on Pardon the Mess by praying humility over our kids, and I’m hard-pressed to think of an attribute that’s more lacking in today’s culture than this one.   Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story.   Join me in praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admit their mistakes, and recognize that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17).   Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Many years ago I heard Sally Lloyd Jones speak on a friend’s podcast and she made a statement that struck a chord with me: always make sure your definition of success is the same as God’s.    That wisdom has stuck with me because so often I find myself judging success based on our culture’s version of it versus God’s definition. What a great parenting application when we stop to consider what we value for our kids and how we spend our time and resources in raising them.    For years I’ve been dying for the opportunity to chat with Sally Lloyd Jones, and I’m thrilled to have her with us on Pardon the Mess today!    If you aren’t familiar with her, Sally is a New York Times bestselling writer of over twenty-five books, including The Jesus Storybook Bible (which is required reading for every parent). She’s critically acclaimed by the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, and, much more significantly, she is unbelievably wise and loves the Lord.    Can I cut to the chase and just tell you that you can’t afford to miss this conversation?    There’s so much we covered, but here are some highlights: God’s promotions often look like demotions, the importance of working the muscle of trust, hurry is often a sign that we’re in the wrong place, finding what sparks joy in our lives, a reminder that nothing can thwart what God has planted in the hearts of our children.   If you haven’t heard Sally Lloyd Jones before today, you’re in for a big treat. Don’t miss this one! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Many years ago I trained and ran a half marathon. The end. (Not really, but kind of.)    In doing so I learned a whole lot about what it takes to build endurance so that you can run the race well. I also learned a lot about chafing—but I digress.    The Christian life is like a marathon in that it requires significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race.    Practically speaking, we build up endurance by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.    This week, we’re praying for our kids to run their spiritual races with endurance. We’re praying that they keep their eyes on Jesus, setting aside anything that weighs them down or keeps them from running effectively.    Take a quick moment to listen today and pray with me, and enjoy a few insights into my short stint as a “runner.” Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy