Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I had the opportunity to hear Sarah Harmeyer speak at an event in Dallas years ago, and her words have literally stayed with me to this day. Long story short—after a pastor encouraged Sarah to be who God created her to be, she left a successful business career in pursuit of gathering people. It started by her sweet dad building her an outdoor table to host her neighbors, and thousands of people later, she has a ministry and business called Neighbor’s Table. Sarah and her father hand-deliver their outdoor tables all over the country, allowing countless people to do life elbow to elbow just as Jesus did in his earthly ministry. Sarah encourages us to let go of perfectionism and keep it simple, opening up opportunities for meaningful conversation with a place for everyone at our table. As we begin a new school year, it’s a perfect time to commit to being people gatherers in our neighborhoods and communities. Sarah says it this way, “I’m on a love mission. I just believe ordinary people, like me, can be called to love extraordinarily around the table. Why? Because we were made to do this.”Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sometimes we confuse spiritual health with mental health, assuming they are one in the same when that’s often far from the truth. Knowing this, it seems appropriate to take a little deeper dive into our emotional health with Licensed Professional Counselor, Debra Fileta. We cover a lot of ground today with topics like: ways to take inventory of our mental health, when spiritual answers don’t address our mental health issues, the importance of modeling emotional health with our kids, training our kids to identify their emotions, recognizing our kids’ default emotion and investigating the deeper issue. And please don’t miss Debra’s advice on preparing our kids for dating relationships, the frequent pitfalls they may face, and resources we can use to navigate the dating years. Here’s to a show addressing the very important mental and emotional health issues facing all parents!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Please tell me you’ve heard of the Bible Recap! If not, get ready for some good ole’ fashioned indoctrination today with Tara-Leigh Cobble, the founder of the Bible Recap. She’s passionate about helping people not only read through the whole Bible, but love it in the process. Tara-Leigh shares her personal story of being in full-time ministry for years before someone challenged her to read through the entire Bible. Only then did she start to feel God’s complete presence in her life and begin writing the commentary that’s the basis of the Bible Recap. There’s so much I want you to hear in today’s podcast, but here are a few highlights: why it’s important (and do-able) for every one of us to read through the Bible, how using the right lens changes how we experience God’s word, common mistakes in reading the Bible, how 12 minutes a day can be life changing for scripture-starved believers, and incorporating scripture into the lives of our families. If you’ve never read through the whole Bible—or maybe you’ve started (and ended) in Genesis more times than you care to discuss—may I please implore you to join Tara-Leigh and so many of us on the Bible Recap journey? You won’t regret it.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Here’s the thing about parenting—It’s really hard to evaluate how you are doing or identify areas of improvement when you’re in the thick of it every day. Because parenting comes with no performance evaluations or long-term guarantees of success, we often find ourselves simply trying to survive, not thrive (I speak from experience).   Danny Huerta from Focus on the Family joins us today with some valuable benchmarks to consider in our parenting journey. His new book, 7 Traits of Effective Parenting, very practically lists some of the most critical areas of our parenting and how to assess how we’re doing or where we need to make some tweaks.   Some of the traits of effective parenting we discuss include adaptability, respect, and intentionality—and believe you me, there’s some truth spoken today that I needed to hear and I bet you will feel the same way, too.   Danny also shares with us the areas of our culture he believes will most challenge our kids' faith and gives us his thoughts on how to prepare them to live biblically.   I hope you’re having a wonderful summer, and I’m so grateful you’re joining me on this parenting journey! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Imagine this: You’re picking up your son from the first day of school after waiting to hear all about his day. Even as he’s closing the car door you begin asking the most critical of questions like... How is your teacher? What friends are in your class? Who did you meet? Did you talk to any girls? What did you have for lunch? Are you tired? Why are you so quiet? Were the kids mean to you?   Apparently unaware of the millions of questions swirling in your mind, your son simply responds that his day was “good.”   I feel your pain (like really feel your pain), and David Thomas from Daystar Counseling in Nashville does, too. He’s joining us today to talk all about the boys in our lives, including their developmental stages: Explorer (0-4) Lover (5-8) Individual (9-12) Wanderer (13-17) Warrior (18-23).   We also discuss the best ways to communicate and connect with our boys, which apparently does not involve barraging them with questions the second they get into the car (my bad).   If you have a boy in your life, please don’t miss this episode with David Thomas. He’s an expert on all things boys, and your son will thank you (probably without using words) for listening! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There are many things I don’t fully understand in parenting, not the least of which is video games. I don’t get what’s so enticing, or the anticipation surrounding “new skins,” or why every time I try to shut down my gamer I’m told they “just need to finish this level.” Bless your heart for video games and those who love you. Knowing that I’ve listed only a few of the mysteries facing every parent of a gamer, I happily present you with Drew Dixon on Pardon the Mess today to answer so many of our questions... Drew runs a ministry with, hands down, the greatest name ever: “Love Thy Nerd.” It’s all about loving gamers well and helping Christians embrace those around them who happen to love a video game. Here are a few gaming topics you will be empowered with after listening to Drew Dixon: What’s so fun about video games anyway, what misconceptions might I have about gaming, how do I connect with my gamer as a parent, what types of games are good and what types should we be avoiding, what’s up with chat rooms and should I be worried, what are some resources I can trust to navigate this gaming world with my kids? If you find yourself frequently saying “take off that headset” or “that’s not really connecting with your friends”—well, today’s podcast is for you!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we’re pushing through summer and finding ways to be intentional in our parenting, I can’t think of many topics more important than discipling our kids.   Don’t anyone panic—discipleship is simply teaching our kids about our faith by pointing them to the Lord in the most normal moments of everyday life.   Rebecca Carrell joins us today, and aside from being a morning show host on KCBI, a mom, wife, and podcaster—she’s my very good friend. We talk very practically about discipleship in our own homes and the ways we get it right (and very often the ways we get it wrong).   There’s so much good stuff in today’s show, but one truth we need to own as parents is this: if we don’t disciple our kids in the Lord, the world will disciple them in something else.   Join me today as we discuss practical ways to point our kids to Christ while also opening doors for them to step out in their own faith. Oh, and don’t miss tips for using discipline as a tool to disciple our kids (and we all know there’s plenty of discipline required in the dog days of summer).Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s summer, and although we’re all glad to have a little bit of normalcy this year as opposed to last, it won’t take long before these people (i.e. our kids) start their usual antics and send us on a one-way trip to the crazy train.   In an effort to help keep our wits about us, I bring to you Dr. Ken Wilgus today. Dr. Ken has been with us many times and brings a wealth of knowledge as a licensed psychologist specializing in the treatment of adolescents.   Today we’re chatting about the age-old struggle of motivating lazy kids, and considerations for parents during the summertime versus issues of motivation during the school year. He also talks to us about video games, ratings, violence, social media, and concerns with social interaction when we don’t limit screen time.   There’s lots packed into today’s show, so give yourself permission to stop cleaning up the summer messes and sit back for a few minutes and listen to Dr. Ken. You won’t regret it (and your kids likely won’t notice you’re gone)!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In honor of Father’s Day this weekend, Pardon the Mess is dedicating our whole show today to the dads we love!   Former NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp speaks all over the country, championing fatherhood by speaking into God’s design for dads as difference-makers in their families. Today we’re blessed to have him speaking into our own families by sharing his passion behind building up men, encouraging them to be strong leaders both in our homes and in the world.   Here are just a few of the powerful topics we cover: dads building healthy relationships with their kids, needs our kids have that are best filled by their dads, healing from our own dad wounds, ways to evaluate your fathering, a reminder for imperfect fathers to run toward their perfect father, and a month long challenge for wives to support and build up their husbands.   Not only do the dads around us need to hear this word today, there’s also great encouragement for moms that I can’t wait for you to hear. Join me in celebrating our dads with a great message from Jeff Kemp as we head into Father’s Day weekend.   Learn more about the Fatherhood Comission and Jeff Kemp. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’ve prayed for years that my kids would chase after God-sized dreams, so when I saw Sheila Erwin’s book on Raising Up Dreamers, I knew she would be perfect for our summer series on Pardon the Mess.   Sheila is the mother of Andrew and Jon Erwin, writers and producers of I Can Only Imagine, I Still Believe, and many other Christian films. Sheila shares with us the importance of recognizing our kids’ own unique giftings, then finding ways to help them maximize what God has woven into their design.   I loved her encouragement on working through learning differences in her own son’s life and now being able to see how these obstacles have become a gift to his flourishing career. We also have a great discussion around dream killers, and Sheila challenges us to make sure we allow our kids to chase after their own dreams, not ours (ouch).   I love this woman, and I can’t wait for you to hear her wise words. Let’s make sure we take some time this summer to look for what it is that God has planted in our children and find ways to help them maximize it!   Grab your copy of Raising Up Dreamers! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy