Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I’ve figured something out about myself the last few years when it comes to holidays, especially Christmas. I’ve realized that even though I say I have “no expectations” of what Christmas should look like and I wholeheartedly believe that it’s important to let go of the idealism behind the “perfect” Christmas—I still carry around some deep rooted expectations that leave me feeling disappointed when things don’t look like I had hoped.  I see it on the dreaded Christmas card photo day when I lose all signs of godliness trying to get my people to dress right, smile right, and have a good attitude while taking a picture that means virtually nothing to them (but for some reason is so important to me).  Or maybe it’s in the need to have the perfect “fun gift” for my kids each Christmas morning, or to host the most festive party, to be invited to the right events, or even when I’m knee-deep searching for the most meaningful Christmas show that’s entertaining, yet life-changing (but on a week night because our weekends are crazy in December, but not too long because it’s a school night, and we need Santa pics right before so it can’t be too early, and why can’t they have a snack bar because these people have to eat . . . ).  I’m guessing I’m not alone in this madness which makes today’s podcast with Tama Fortner very timely as we consider reclaiming the peace of Christmas. Tama suggests ways to camp-out at the intersection of ordinary and the divine, finding joy in the important things and dropping the rest of it.  We also consider the Christmas story and how Mary’s uncalculated yes can change our approach to the holidays and everyday. Here’s to kicking crazy to the curb this Christmas!     Simply Christmas: A Busy Mom's Guide to Reclaiming the Peace of the Holidays: A Devotional by Tama Fortner Read, Ask, Go! Interactive advent devotional for the whole family Faithful Counseling: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Discount code “pardonthemess" Go to https://dwellapp.io/pardonthemess to get 10% off a yearly subscription, or 33% off Dwell for life. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If your pants are a little tighter and the stress level a little higher this Monday after Thanksgiving, you’re not alone. With all the shopping, wrapping, parties, family gatherings, cooking, and baking—it may feel like a little hope is exactly what it’s gonna take to keep going.   Kay Wyma is with me today (I mean seriously, she’s the best), and we’re talking about the role hope plays in our lives and the lives of our children. As we pray hope over our kids this week, we’re reminded that only the Lord can strengthen, restore, and deliver on the great plans he has for each of our lives. Knowing this, we can pray for our kids to find hope even on their most discouraging days as he faithfully restores their strength and gives them a kingdom perspective.   Can I encourage you these next few weeks to keep up the good work of praying for your kids each week? If you’re like me, it feels like sometimes the first things to go in the craziness of the holidays are those things that have the most significance. Prayer is significant, so let’s keep on keeping on the next few weeks. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On today’s show, Ellie Holcomb joins us to talk about seeing Jesus for who he really is and guiding our families to practice the truths of scripture and trust God even in the midst of the unknown. She very practically shares how she speaks truth into the darkness by using fighting words from scripture.  Ellie is an amazing singer, author, songwriter, speaker and, most importantly, mom. She literally draws me closer to Jesus every time I hear her speak. I’m so thankful for these few minutes with her today and can’t wait for you to hear her heart for the Lord.   Resources from today's show: •  Fighting Words -100 Days of Speaking Truth into the Darkness by Ellie Holcomb • Ellie Holcomb's new record, Canyon •  Tyndale Kids and Compassion International globally-inspired, interactive resources that make planning family time a snap • Read, Ask, Go! Interactive advent devotional for the whole family • Dwell app:  get 10% off a yearly subscription, or 33% off Dwell for life  Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Thanksgiving week!  Just curious, is anyone besides me completely grossed out by the whole cooking the turkey thing and pulling out the innards? Honestly, I could do without the turkey in general and just park myself in front of the sides for a fine little Thanksgiving. With great timeliness, my Mom is joining me on the podcast today to talk about Thanksgiving, praying for our kids, and everything in between.   One of my favorite things about this time of year (aside from the food) is the opportunity to reflect on and appreciate all that the Lord has done in the last year. Just as everything in me wants to rush right into Christmas decorating and gift shopping, I’m reminded that gratefulness is so critical for my soul and I desperately need to thank the Lord for his faithfulness day after day.  As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, join with me and my sweet Mom to pray gratefulness over our kids. Let’s pray they acknowledge the Lord’s faithfulness in their lives, seeing him in the big and the small, the successes and the failures, and the trials and the triumphs.   Truly the Lord is the giver of all good things—let’s celebrate this truth by praying our kids are marked with a heart of gratitude.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s a hallmark day at Pardon the Mess because for the first time ever we have Annie Downs on the show. Annie lives in Nashville and is an author, podcaster, speaker, and expert on all things related to having fun!  You guys have no idea how long I’ve waited for a chance to chat with sweet Annie. Having followed her for many years, I’m absolutely in awe of how she lives out her faith in fresh and exciting ways, challenging believers to figure out what looks fun in their own lives (and then actually go out and do it).  Today she reminds us that God uses all things in our lives to prepare us for his greater purposes. I love her quote that God “full circles all things,” meaning he takes even our missteps and detours and uses them for his greater purposes. But more than anything, I want you to hear Annie’s encouragement on having fun as Christians (so often we miss that component in life) and the importance of helping our kids figure out what “fun” looks like in their own lives both now and in the future.  This is the perfect time of year to be thankful for all that God has done for us. A great way to express this gratitude is to live with joy and chase after the fun things God has created for each of us uniquely. I just know you’re going to love Annie Downs like I do after today’s show. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When I read the verses above, it makes me think of how nice it would be to simply hear a voice telling me how to proceed in certain situations and the resulting confidence I would have in knowing that I’m getting it right. And then I’m reminded that the Holy Spirit does just this when we listen expectantly as believers.    My dear friend Stephanie Martin (and one of the most discerning people I know) is joining us today as we pray for discernment in our kids’ lives. We’re talking about teaching our kids to be attentive to God in all things and praying they learn to hear God’s voice in their lives from an early age. Not only is having discernment critical in our kids’ lives—but we’re also praying they have people around them who help them discern truth in all the situations they will face. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There’s just nobody like Jamie Ivey when it comes to having a hilarious conversation filled with lots of truth and vulnerability. This girl loves Austin, Texas, her family, parenting, marriage, and encouraging people to walk the path God has uniquely designed for them.  Today’s show was such a great reminder for me that what we do matters, and that our job is to be faithful where God has us (instead of wishing our lives looked like someone or something else). I love Jamie’s thoughts on gauging if we’re staying on our own God-given path and also the gift of being a cheerleader for others.  Jamie and I also talk about marriage, teaching our kids to live comfortably in their own skin, and so much more that you just can’t possibly miss! Take a few minutes to listen to my conversation with Jamie and then share it with a friend who needs the reminder that God wants “you to be you.”Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today we’re talking about time-management on Pardon the Mess, and my husband Mike is making a cameo as we pray over our children.   As a young mom I so often remember being told to treasure each moment because “the days are long but the years are short.” Now as a mom who just celebrated a fairly large milestone birthday, I realize the absolute truth of those words both in raising kids and just in life generally.   Because it’s so hard to truly appreciate how precious each day is when you’re young, we’re focusing our prayer time this week on praying time management for our kids. Their days, like ours, are filled with so many demands as they balance school, activities, family, and time with the Lord. Let’s pray as they do this each day they learn to make wise decisions with their time and use it in ways that best honor God’s purposes in their lives.   I love the wisdom of  Psalm 90:12 as it relates to time management: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” The Lord is our sole source of all wisdom—so let’s ask him to guide our kids this week. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

November is National Adoption Month, and I’m thrilled to be talking with Rebekah Lyons about adoption, following God’s callings, and what a ‘surrendered yes’ looks like in each of our lives. And then there’s the fact that I’m slightly obsessed with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City, and Rebekah (having lived in NYC for several years) tells us all about it. Basically I’ve reconfirmed my commitment to get there someday very soon!  Here are some of the important topics we cover in today’s show:  The gift of adoption and the many ways God can show us how losing our lives is really gaining true life The three parts of a surrendered yes and what that means in your own life A pivotal question to ask yourself when considering if you’re obedient to God’s callings I can’t wait for you to hear today’s show, and, in honor of National Adoption Month, I give you a recent picture of my sweet little one (along with a few links to articles I’ve written about our adoption journey). Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s November, and as we begin the countdown to Thanksgiving I naturally think of friends, family, and doing life together. Because of this, all month long I’ll be bringing some of my favorite people on the podcast to join us in praying over our kids. You’ll hear from people like my husband, my mom, and several of my sweet friends with lots of wisdom.  To kick it off today, we’re praying for the friendships in our kids’ lives. One of my dearest friends, Brandie Rodgers, is joining us as a mom who has prayed every single day for her three kids to have Godly friends. She has some sweet reminders on why we pray this for our kids and how God honors our prayers when we do.   We know that friendships can be a great blessing to our children, especially when they have good ones. Let’s pray this week for our kids to have at least one authentic, godly friendship to build them up in each stage of their lives. Let’s also pray they are good friends to others, showing kindness, encouragement, and inclusivity to those around them.   So glad you’re with us! P.S. Did you know that we text out personalized scripture each morning corresponding with our prayer journal? To send your kids scripture each morning (and yourself too!) text ‘textingtruth’ to 888-308-9684. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy