Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids cover image

Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Latest episodes

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Jun 30, 2022 • 47min

“Best of” with David Thomas and tips for raising boys

This week as a part of our “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews, David Thomas is with us to talk about all things related to our boys.    Picture this: you’re picking up your son from the first day of school after waiting to hear all about his day. Even as he’s closing the car door you begin asking the most critical of questions like... How is your teacher? What friends are in your class? Who did you meet? Did you talk to any girls? What did you have for lunch? Are you tired? Why are you so quiet? Were the kids mean to you?    Apparently unaware of the millions of questions swirling in your mind, your son simply responds that his day was “good.” I feel your pain (like really feel your pain), and David Thomas from Daystar Counseling in Nashville does, too.    David talks with us about our boys’ developmental stages: explorer (0-4), lover (5-8), individual (9-12), wanderer (13-17), warrior (18-23). We also discuss the best ways to communicate and connect with our boys, which apparently does not involve barraging them with questions the second they get into the car (my bad).    So glad you’re with us today.    Resources from today’s show:   Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 23, 2022 • 35min

“Best of” with Jennie Allen and the heart of friendships

We’re using the next several weeks to release some of the “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews. With over 300 episodes and lots of new listeners, we don’t want any of you to miss a thing.    Today we’re re-releasing our conversation with Jennie Allen on the lies we believe about friendships.   Jennie shares what she now knows about friendships, what they are, what they aren’t, and what impedes us from the God-given deep connection we so desperately need.   Here are some of the great topics we discuss when it comes to finding your people:   The different roles our friendships play  What to look for in friends  Putting yourself out there  Choosing a fire pit over Netflix   Noticing who is already around you  Decisions in our careers, neighborhoods, and family that impacts friendships    Don’t miss this much-needed conversation on the importance of our friendships and reminders that finding community is not impossible with a little bit of intentionality.    Resources on today’s show:   Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 16, 2022 • 39min

“Best of” with Ken Wilgus talking about parenting teens

I hope you’re enjoying summer and hopefully getting a little extra time with your kids!   The next few weeks we’re going to be sharing some of the “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews. Hard to believe we’ve released over THREE HUNDRED episodes! With so many new people joining along the way, we want to be sure you didn’t miss some of our favorite interviews.    Today we’re re-releasing our conversation with licensed psychologist Ken Wilgus, and he is talking with us about parenting teens.    If you don’t have a teen yet, no worries, because you can never prepare too early for navigating the treacherous waters of adolescence (just kidding—kind of).   Dr. Wilgus shares his ideas behind “planned emancipation,” the strategy of preparing our kids for adulthood by carefully and progressively letting go of our control in key areas of their lives.   We talk about this in the context of giving freedom in the music they listen to, the friends they pick, and even the state in which they keep their rooms.   Glad you’re with us today!   In this with you,    Cynthia Yanof | Pardon the Mess    Resources from today’s show:   Feeding the Mouth that Bites You book   Feed the Mouth that Bites You podcast    Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 9, 2022 • 37min

The Art of Getting it Wrong with Stephen and Amanda Miller

Imagine having seven children and living in an RV. I know, I can’t either. Stephen and Amanda Miller are doing just that and today we get a sneak peek into their lives!    In his new book, Art of Getting it Wrong, Stephen reminds us that our failures are not final, and that it’s in those same failures where we learn to live courageously. It’s so easy to think our worth is equal to the sum of our successes and failures, but Stephen and Amanda help us dispel that notion and encourage us to follow God’s lead.    We also talk about adoption and finding God’s calling in our lives, and the Millers detail how God is using YouTube and their millions of downloads (literally) to point people back to him.    Thankful to each of you for joining us and can’t wait for you to hear from the Millers!    Resources from today's show:  The Art of Getting it Wrong The Miller Fam YouTube Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 4, 2022 • 43min

Let’s talk about books for our kids . . . Part 1

Hey Friends,   I often get questions on books I would recommend for our kids and honestly, more often than not, I draw a blank.    That’s why today’s bonus episodes of Pardon the Mess are dedicated to some of our very favorite authors and the children’s books they have written. These are books you can trust and your kids will love. Below you’ll find overviews of the books as well as links to the podcasts where we get the behind the scenes scoop with the authors.    Let’s start with our younger kids (ages 4 to 8) and a conversation I had with Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker about their wonderful book, The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude. Gratitude is a much needed quality in our kids, and this book (and our conversation below) provides great reminders for summertime.   Another great book for our littles is Claire and Anna Avidon’s, I Can Do Hard Things. These two ladies chat with us about refinement, perseverance, and encouraging our kids to take the hard road when God calls us to it.    For our older kids (think ages 8-12), there’s a great devotional by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker called Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King. Based on Solomon’s life, the book offers amazing lessons on peer pressure, finding your voice, living in confidence, and so much more. Sarah gives lots of wisdom in our conversation, so don't miss it.    My last recommendation in this bonus episode is for girls ages 8-12, and it’s all about friendships. The ladies from The Ruth Experience remind us of our need for deep friendships  and the importance of being present, not setting up artificial boundaries, and being willing to invite others into our lives. Their book, 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls is a great one for helping our girls navigate friendships.    I hope these resources are a huge help to you! Grab a book and guide your kiddos well this summer.    Resources from today's show:    The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude by Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker.    I can do hard things by Anna Avidon and Claire Avidon.    Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker    100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls: A Devotional by Julie Fisk, Kendra Roehl, and Kristin Demery. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 4, 2022 • 45min

Let’s talk about books for our kids . . . Part 2

Hey Friends, I often get questions on books I would recommend for our kids and honestly, more often than not, I draw a blank.    That’s why today’s bonus episodes of Pardon the Mess are dedicated to some of our very favorite authors and the children’s books they have written. These are books you can trust and your kids will love. Below you’ll find overviews of the books as well as links to the podcasts where we get the behind the scenes scoop with the authors.    Let’s start with our younger kids (ages 4 to 8) and a conversation I had with Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker about their wonderful book, The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude. Gratitude is a much needed quality in our kids, and this book (and our conversation below) provides great reminders for summertime.   Another great book for our littles is Claire and Anna Avidon’s, I Can Do Hard Things. These two ladies chat with us about refinement, perseverance, and encouraging our kids to take the hard road when God calls us to it.    For our older kids (think ages 8-12), there’s a great devotional by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker called Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King. Based on Solomon’s life, the book offers amazing lessons on peer pressure, finding your voice, living in confidence, and so much more. Sarah gives lots of wisdom in our conversation, so don't miss it.    My last recommendation in this bonus episode is for girls ages 8-12, and it’s all about friendships. The ladies from The Ruth Experience remind us of our need for deep friendships  and the importance of being present, not setting up artificial boundaries, and being willing to invite others into our lives. Their book, 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls is a great one for helping our girls navigate friendships.    I hope these resources are a huge help to you! Grab a book and guide your kiddos well this summer.    Resources from today's show:    The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude by Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker.    I can do hard things by Anna Avidon and Claire Avidon.    Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker    100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls: A Devotional by Julie Fisk, Kendra Roehl, and Kristin Demery. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Jun 2, 2022 • 47min

Digital safety in our homes with Chris McKenna

Are you overwhelmed with technology?   Do you wonder how to keep your kids safe while also teaching them to use it responsibly?    Have you wished for a biblical perspective on digital safety that goes hand in hand with the practical?    For me it’s yes, yes, and yes.   Today we have Chris McKenna with us and he’s the founder and CEO of Protect Young Eyes. We’re talking about a digital trust framework for our families and practical tips for keeping our kids safe. He’s giving us ideas on router filters, appropriate ages for kids to have phones, and important conversations to have while they are still under our roof.    Today is a big drink of water for those of us thirsty for technology answers!   Resources from today's show:  Gabb Gryphon (routers in general) The PYE App Talk About from Awana - Try one month FREE with promo code: PTMOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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May 30, 2022 • 29min

Praying for our kids: Wrapping up the school year with Bunmi Laditan

It’s hard to believe that way back on September 13th of last year we began praying our kids through the school year and that today is our last day!    We’ve prayed for our kids to have connection, purpose, salvation, humility, and countless other attributes of our faith. Many of you have been with me each step of the way as we’ve asked the Lord to stand in the gap of our parenting while also drawing our kids to him. I’m so grateful.     This week is our very last week of the school year, and Bunmi Laditan is joining us to wrap it up. Please, please don’t miss this last week because Bunmi is amazing and you will love her. Also we are finishing up our year talking about why we pray for our kids, how to do it well, and how to respond even when we don’t see the answers we are praying for.     Bunmi has a new book out this summer on prayer, and it would be a great way to pray for your kids the next few months before we kick things off again in September. Speaking of the next school year, (drum roll please) we’re praying the Psalms over our kids, and I cannot wait to see how God uses this study to lead our families closer to him.     So thank you for praying with me this school year. Thank you for always sharing these podcasts with your friends and small groups. And thank you for allowing Pardon the Mess to speak into your parenting each week. I’m truly blessed to walk the road with each of you who want to love the Lord well in your parenting.     P.S. The prayer journal for the 2022-2023 school year will be available starting in July. Listen to Pardon the Mess on Thursdays for more information on how to grab a copy for you and your friends.    Resources:  To learn more about Bunmi Laditan, check her out here! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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May 26, 2022 • 38min

Walking our kids through grief with Lisa Appelo

Happy Summer!   I hope you’re having a great ending to the school year and ready for a fun-filled summer! I know that summer can bring a mix of emotions for most of us, so no guilt as we navigate these days well with our kids.    Today Lisa Appelo is with us to discuss grief and how to walk our kids through it. This is so important for when our own kids are grieving, but also for when those around us are walking hard roads and need support.    Lisa lost her husband suddenly and has led her seven children through this enormous loss for ten years. She shares some critical principles of living through grief such as being authentic, making a safe space for your kids to mourn, and giving grace as each person grieves differently.    There’s a whole lot of wisdom packed into today’s podcast—so listen to it, take a few notes, and share it with someone who might be struggling in a hard place today.    So grateful for you!   Resources from today's show:  Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart More from Lisa Appelo Talk About from Awana - Try one month FREE with promo code: PTM The Biggest Story Bible StorybookOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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May 25, 2022 • 12min

Praying for Uvalde and all of our schools

There are no words at a time like this and, if you’re like me, the news feels almost suffocating this morning. I want to take a minute to lead us in a special time of prayer for our friends in Uvalde as well as for all of our students.   Take a minute to listen to this special edition podcast and join me in praying for Uvalde and our schools.    Also, I wrote an article several years ago after the school shooting in Florida that I want to share with you. It’s equally relevant today, and I hope it’s a renewed call to action in praying for our children and schools.  We are not powerless in school shootingsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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