Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I get so many books and pitches that come across my desk. There are so many talented4w authors, pastors and leaders out there and I wish I could have every one of them on. I always pray for discernment on which guests to put in front of you.When the new book, Rebranding the Church by Dr. Eric Mason, came across my desk, I was definitely intrigued. Dr. Mason planted a church in a tough neighborhood in Philly over 19 years ago. He’s a passionate pastor, husband and father that is leaning into important conversations for unity in the church. This conversation challenged my thinking and I pray it does that for you too. In today’s episode, Dr Mason and I talk about the state of the church and the constant division we are seeing. Are we being a light to our cities? Are we unified with other believers or treating them like enemies? What is the image the world sees with church leadership?I hope this stirs your thinking (like it did for me) and challenges you to lead my family well in the area of church unity. My favorite part is towards the end when he talks about his approach to Christian parenting. He has his kids listen to podcasts and it invites them to ask questions around faith. He encourages us to invite dialogue into our home. I love that he is an intentional and present dad in the midst of pastoring thousands of people.Enjoy!CourtneyChapters:(00:00) Introduction and Family Dynamics(05:03) Navigating the Church's Image and Unity(10:00) Leadership Challenges in Modern Church(22:42) Parenting in a Complex Spiritual Landscape(27:39) The Importance of Presence in Parenting(29:15) Breaking the Soil of the Heart(30:12) Unity in the Midst of DivisionConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with Dr. Eric MasonEpiphany FellowshipThriving MinistryRebranding The Church bookDwell Bible in a Year Sign up for Morning MinuteChristian ParentingPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! (Psalm 46:10 ESV)Elijah did truly incredible things in the name of God. We could list miracle upon miracle and talk about Elijah’s great faith, his refusal to bow to others, and God’s power. But in 1 Kings 19, Elijah slows down, and the story is so powerful.Elijah was exhausted from all his work defeating the prophets of Baal and he was afraid for his life. So he ran into the wilderness, where he told God he wanted to die. While he slept under a tree, God, in his goodness, sent an angel that provided food and water. With more energy, Elijah continued his journey, waiting to hear from God.A powerful wind, an earthquake, and a fire came, but God was not in those as you would expect. God was in a still small voice. Elijah was able to hear from God when he was rested, taken care of, and still. He slowed down in the middle of great and important things. He took a nap, ate, drank, and listened.Our world values productivity and speed. Those are good things, but it’s important to rest too. In fact, God calls us to Sabbath! Sometimes, our kids just need to rest (we do too!). God knows our limits. He will provide what we need—physically and spiritually. And he often speaks in the quiet moments, when our hearts are still enough to listen. So let’s take time to encourage that in our kids.This week, let’s pray that our kids learn to slow down and listen for the voice of God.Lord, when __________ feels tired or discouraged, remind them that it’s okay to rest. Help them to take care of themselves, trusting that you will meet their needs. Help them learn to still their bodies and souls and listen for your voice. Thank you for speaking to us and hearing us. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? We will cover a different topic each month in hopes to provide helpful content for you and your local mentor.1) listen to the episode2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of youIf you’re just getting started - don’t miss the first few episodes:My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodMy Virtual Mentor: Personalities and TemperamentsMy Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity I am so delighted to give you life coach Elaine Franklin on the podcast today. She is 77 years young and has been mentoring women and couples for decades. Her passion for stewardship and time management is so evident. She is practical and wise and gives me hope that we can spend our days wisely in 2026. My favorite part is when she talks about how to create margin in our lives. I do believe time management is one of the most critical things we can address in our families. How we spend our time matters. It can impact the sanity of our homes. It can help us focus on what matters most.Enjoy!CourtneyChapters:(00:00) Introduction and Background(03:36) The Importance of Time Management(08:50) Understanding Responsibilities and Priorities(10:53) Finding Purpose and Clarity(12:47) Practical Tools for Time Management(19:16) The Need for Margin in Life(22:46) Reflections on Life and Stewardship of TimeMY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (TIME MANAGEMENT)Scripture to memorize:Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.Scriptures for prayer and study:Ephesians 5:15-16Matthew 6:33Proverbs 29:18Books for further study:The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark ComerFreedom from the Tyranny of the Urgent by Charles Hummel It’s Time - a practical guide to order your days by Shawna Sullivan Discussion questions:What is your purpose? What is your mission? What are your top priorities? What are the most important things for you in this season?Who is in your circle of care vs circle of responsibility? What is God asking you to stop doing? Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with Elaine at ebfranklin@bellsouth.netConnect with Shawna3 ways to stop wasting your time and money - episode with Shawna Sullivan7 Do’s and Don’ts for your time and money by Shawna Sullivan It’s Time - a practical guide to order your days by Shawna Sullivan My Utmost for His Highest - devotional Dwell Bible in a Year Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. (1 Kings 3:9)Solomon is the biblical king who is most known for his wisdom. One night, God came to Solomon in a dream and asked him what he wanted from God. Solomon asked for wisdom. He could have asked for anything: health, wealth, or defeating his enemies, but he asked for wisdom, and this made God really happy.God is ready and willing to share his wisdom with us; all we have to do is ask for it. But in a world where incredible knowledge is literally at our fingertips, it’s easy to overlook biblical wisdom. Earthly wisdom is knowing a lot of math, being well read, and having strong financial literacy; it’s knowing all the answers on Jeopardy. Biblical wisdom is living within the will of God through the Holy Spirit. It’s relying on God to know how to treat people, what activities to participate in, what is right versus wrong, and so on.God delights in us asking him for wisdom! The Bible says he was pleased with Solomon when he did this (1 Kings 3:10), and he is pleased with us when we do it as well. When it comes to our kids, we desire for them to seek God’s wisdom to make decisions. We model this to them first and encourage them to make wise choices when it comes to friends, where to go to school, acting with integrity, and whether to go to that party. God cares about all of those things, and he will share his wisdom about them with our kids when they ask for it.This week, let’s pray that our kids ask for God’s wisdom and know that true wisdom isn’t just knowing what to do—it’s acting upon that wisdom as well.Lord, give __________ a heart like Solomon’s, one that values your wisdom above all else. Keep their heart open, ready to listen to your Holy Spirit. We want them to grow wise in every aspect, but to help them make choices that honor you, always acting upon the wisdom you give them. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Merry Christmas to you all! I hope this is such a special week for your family to celebrate the birth of Jesus. What a thrill to interview my youngest daughter and give you a chance to get to know her better. I’m a little biased, but this girl is one special human. I love learning from her!She gives her advice on friendships, ways to parent teens, importance of mentoring and much more. She also shares some practical tips from lash serum to our Nuuly obsession. My favorite part is when she reminds us to offer grace to our kids. I needed this reminder that they need a break from the pressure and expectations. They need to know we will offer grace when they mess up. Merry Christmas!!Courtney Chapters:(00:00) Introduction and Background(02:59) Beauty Tips and Favorites(06:00) Fashion and Shopping Preferences(08:55) Family Values and Relationships(11:52) Advice for Middle Schoolers(12:23) The Challenges of Junior Year(13:03) Understanding Dyslexia and Learning Differences(14:42) Sibling Relationships and Transitions(16:57) College Aspirations and Pressures(17:52) Faith Development Through Camp Experiences(20:29) Maintaining Faith in Everyday Life(23:19) The Importance of Mentorship and Role Models(26:20) The Importance of Mentorship in Parenting(27:50) Navigating High School: Advice for Parents(32:06) Spiritual Growth and Personal Reflection(34:00) Words of Wisdom for Moms and TeensConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Babe Lash SerumBlack Rock - Sugar Free SunriseNuuly link for $30 offDwell Bible in a Year Support Christian ParentingPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:20)In the Christmas story, the angel of the Lord announced Jesus’s birth to some lowly shepherds who were minding their own business, watching over their sheep. It seems like an unlikely group, but their response is a perfect example of a life of faith.The shepherds were rightfully afraid of the angel, but they immediately said, “Let’s go . . . see” (Luke 2:15). The Bible says they hurried off and found Mary, Joseph, and the baby. Then they spread the word because they could not contain this big news! And when they had told as many people as they could, they came back to Mary and Joseph and praised God for everything they had seen and heard.Let’s remember that response this Christmas: Let’s go learn more, let’s tell everyone about it, and let’s praise God for all he has done! It sounds easy enough, but we all know there are barriers to spreading the good news of Jesus: peer pressure, distraction, embarrassment, and self-doubt, just to name a few. But if we just move past those things, we can share the hope of Jesus with our hurting world, just as we were meant to do!Let’s pray that our kids will always be proud and ready to share about Jesus, knowing that the news of our Savior is too good to keep to themselves!Father God, thank you for sending your son as a baby to rescue our broken world. Help __________ to internalize the good news of Jesus and be so excited that they have to tell others! Keep our family’s hearts and minds on you this Christmas season. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What a thrill to interview my oldest daughter and one of her very best friends. Ella and Landry have been friends since 3rd grade and it’s so special to hear from two young women that are keeping their faith a priority in college. I ask them about their “favorites” from tennis shoes to rom-coms and then we get into some more serious topics.My favorite moment is when I ask each of them, “What is God teaching you right now?” I was blown away by their answers and also felt so thankful that they are both engaged in their college church communities. Ask your kiddos that question this Christmas break and let them share about their faith. I am always astounded when I learn how much depth and wisdom is in these teens. They are wiser than you know.You also don’t want to miss my opening story about an “elf on the shelf” adventure gone wrong. I am still feeling a little rattled from it.00:00 Introduction and Guest Introductions07:05 High School Experiences and Advice10:02 Navigating Junior Year Challenges14:54 Senior Year Reflections and Relationships18:26 Maintaining Faith in High School23:35 Parental Guidance and Support25:37 Navigating High School Dynamics26:56 Understanding Teen Communication28:04 The High School Experience: Challenges and Growth30:51 Transitioning to College Life33:35 Building Friendships in College37:48 Spiritual Growth and Lessons Learned43:18 Legacy of Love: Lessons from GrandmothersConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Ella’s new sneakers - Back 70Yahtzee GameNertz GameQuiplash (on Apple TV)New Morning Mercies devotionalPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

But now your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command. (1 Samuel 13:14)You may remember David for being a king or for beating Goliath in an epic battle. David’s story is one of those Bible stories that inspires us to face with courage whatever God lays before us. However, one of the noteworthy moments in David’s story was when God said that he was “a man after God’s own heart.” David was far from perfect. He was a shepherd turned king. He committed adultery with Bathsheba and then arranged her husband’s death. He messed up again and again, however we can see in the Psalms that David had a deep love for God and a willingness to repent, and that he met with God often. When he sinned, he didn’t hide; he repented and turned back to God because his relationship with God mattered most and he wanted to be aligned with him.It’s encouraging to note that God chose David to lead because of his pure desires for God, not because he was the best behaved, most talented, or most skilled in the world’s terms.What does that mean for us? We are all called to follow Jesus, and that means we are to live in harmony with what God’s heart desires for his people. As our kids grow up, it can be easy for them to follow their own hearts or what others want. But we can encourage them to make decisions and lead others based on God’s desires, not earthly desires, and that is hard!Let’s pray that our kids are known as people after God’s own heart and that each of our children reflects the heart of God in their schools, communities and friend circles.Father, please help __________ to desire what you desire. Lead them to live in a way that’s pleasing to you. I pray they know your heart more and more each year. Give them a heart like David’s, one that seeks you above all else and makes time to meet with you day after day. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I have a new bucket list item: I want to go to Uganda and meet Josh’s mom! What a woman. Josh Poro is a pastor and father from Uganda that has been living here in my town of Colleyville for the last 7 years. I was curious to chat with him about what “parenting” looks like in Uganda vs America.Sometimes, I need to shake things up in my life and get out of the bubble I am living in. I like to listen to unique podcasts or watch compelling documentaries to expand my mind. This is the purpose of this episode. I wanted Josh to shake up our Western view of Christianity and parenting in a way that challenges us.My favorite part is when he talks about the power of prayer. He challenges us in America to pray longer and bolder. And to keep praying for our children again and again. If you’d like to see more of Josh’s sermons - visit his YouTube channel (Kingdom INSights Ministries - Apostle Joshua Poro).Enjoy!CourtneyChapters:(00:00) Introduction to Josh Poro's Journey(02:57) Life in Uganda: Culture and Challenges(05:59) Journey to the US: Asylum and New Beginnings(08:57) The Importance of Prayer in Family Life(12:01) Cultural Differences in Prayer Practices(14:57) Teaching Children About Faith and Prayer(18:01) The Role of Mothers in Spiritual Upbringing(30:01) Cultural Perspectives on Parenting(32:55) Empowering Children for Independence(36:04) The Power of Prayer in Parenting(44:23) Parenting as a MinistryConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with JoshJosh’s youtube page - Kingdom INSights Ministries - Apostle Joshua PoroSign up to volunteer at Josh’s new church NIV Application BiblePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. (1 Samuel 23:16 NLT)Jonathan and David were opposites and unlikely friends, but their friendship was so strong that it continues to be cited as a prime example of a God-honoring friendship to this day. Jonathan had every reason to feel envious of David: Jonathan was heir to the throne, yet God chose David to be king. Jonathan even risked his life to protect David from his father and strengthen David in the Lord when he needed it.Jonathan was a selfless and loyal friend who continually pointed David back to God. No doubt, God placed Jonathan in David’s life for a reason. He knew that David would need a friend to strengthen him in his role, his confidence, and his faith.Friendships come and go, and the friends our kids have right now may or may not be their friends in the future. There is a time and place for temporary friendships—friendships that are fun and fulfilling and safe, but don’t stand the test of time for one reason or another. It’s the lifelong friendships that are sacred. The friendships where you know the other person is with you no matter what and will challenge you to be a better person and a more faithful Christ follower. Our desire as parents should be that our kids have at least one of those friends.This week, let’s pray that our kids are not fair-weather friends. Let’s pray that they are committed, loyal, selfless friends who strengthen their friends’ faith in God. And let’s pray they find those same friends in return.Father God, please help __________ to be a God-honoring and good friend to others. Help them to say no to jealousy, gossip, and comparison and yes to compassion, encouragement, and joy in their friendships. Help them to find friends who sharpen and strengthen their faith in you and may you be the center of all their relationships. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy