Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Buckle in for a fantastic and thought-provoking chat with author and speaker Vicki Courtney. Have you ever heard the phrase, “motherhood is your highest calling” ? Did you believe it? And do you agree with it?I love that Vicki is looking back as a grandmother and assessing this common phrase and belief that impacted her motherhood journey. She wants to help our generation properly grapple with our highest calling. She believes motherhood is a high calling but not THE highest calling. And there is a difference. This statement isn’t just about semantics. If we believe motherhood is our highest calling, then the way we parent is informed and impacted by that belief. That belief ushers in perfectionism and pressure that’s not manageable. I loved this conversation and mindset shift - not just for myself but for my daughters. Let’s look to scripture and make sure we are all on the same page - that our highest calling is actually not motherhood.My favorite part is when Vicki talks about the trap of comparison at the end. She helps us dial down the guilt and increase the freedom that is found in Jesus. I am grateful for the encouragement and teaching of Vicki Courtney. Her work has mattered to me at every phase of motherhood. Enjoy! Courtney (00:00) Reconnecting and Reflecting on the Past(04:49) The Journey of Motherhood and Writing(09:36) Rethinking Motherhood as a Calling(14:06) The Pressure of Perfectionism in Parenting(19:02) Finding Balance and Freedom in Motherhood(23:41) Embracing Identity Beyond MotherhoodConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with VickiMotherhood is not your highest calling by Vicki CourtneySubscribe to Christian Parenting’s Friday FavoritesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6)Think about the amount of trust Abraham had in the Lord: He was told to leave his home and move to a new land and wandered for decades, not knowing where he was going, but he went anyway. He was told he would be the father of a great nation, but he didn’t have any kids. Then he was told he would have a baby when he was very old. Then God told him to go sacrifice his beloved son.There is a reason God made a covenant with Abraham that changed the course of the world: He had a deep trust in the Lord and in the Lord’s love for him. Even when something seemed impossible, Abraham believed God would be faithful. Looking at Abraham’s life teaches us that we don’t need to have all the answers to obey God; we just need to have unwavering trust in his goodness. God will be true to his promises, even though his timing and his ways are sometimes different from ours.God has a great plan for your child. We don’t know what that looks like: friends, activities, college, careers, relationships, kids. There are a lot of unknown variables at play and there is no glimpsing into the future, but God holds it in his hands. Trusting God means believing that he is leading our kids to their great future, even when we can’t see the whole picture.This week, let’s pray that our kids put their trust in the Lord just like Abraham did and stand firm in their faith when things feel uncertain.Lord, help __________ to trust you like Abraham did. Give them faith to follow where you lead them. Reveal your great purpose for their life to them and teach them to rely on your promises. May they walk in confidence knowing that you are always with them and they are deeply loved by you. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. (It also makes a wonderful gift for grandparents or friends!) And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My natural reaction is to CONTROL my kids and I wish that wasn’t the truth. I know that the best thing for them and for me is to surrender all of it to God every day. Why is this so hard for me? Do you also struggle with wanting to control and hold onto your kids? Join me today as I chat with Christy Nockels about this idea of surrendering our kids through various seasons. Christy has been writing songs and leading worship for more than 30 years. She is a wife and a mom living in the Nashville, TN area. My favorite part about Christy is her humility. Jesus just oozes through her music and her life.My favorite part is how she shares a couple of practical ways you can still connect with your kids as adults. And don’t forget to put her new album King Who Never Sleeps on repeat in your car and kitchen. It will feel like a balm to your soul.Enjoy!Courtney (00:00) Introduction to Christy Nockels(02:55) The Heart Behind the New Album(05:43) Lessons in Surrender and Trust(08:26) Navigating Parenting Transitions(11:09) The Power of Prayer in Parenting(14:14) Being Present in the MomentConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with ChristyChristy’s bookChristy’s podcastChristy’s new album - King Who Never Sleeps Subscribe to Christian Parenting’s Friday FavoritesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey friends, today we are kicking off this year’s series that follows Christian Parenting’s brand new prayer journal, A Great Cloud of Witnesses. This is something that we look forward to every school year!If you're new here, every Monday I will share a short prayer to help you lift up your kids. Each week highlights a biblical hero of the faith, paired with Scripture-based prayers for your kids. Let's get started with week one:Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. (Genesis 6:9)Noah was a great man of faith and obedience. During his lifetime, the Lord saw that the world was wicked. Genesis 6 tells us God saw that every inclination of the human heart and mind was evil, and he was deeply troubled by it. While everyone else on earth was living apart from God, Noah looked different. He was righteous, meaning he was in a right relationship with God. Because of his righteousness, God entrusted Noah with an incredible task—build an ark to his specific measurements and rescue humankind and animals from a great flood. And we all know what happens after that: They were safe and preserved life on earth.It sounds crazy and it probably looked crazy. But Noah and his family confidently lived in a way that was outside the norm because of their faith. No doubt Noah was ridiculed for his righteousness both before and while he was building the ark. But he trusted God’s word even when it didn’t make sense, and isn’t that what we want for our kids as well?There will be times when following Jesus means standing alone, making choices that others don’t understand, getting made fun of, or trusting God in uncertain circumstances. It is not always easy to live a righteous life.This week, let’s pray that our kids grow to be confident in their faith, listen to God’s voice over any others, and choose to live in a right relationship with the Lord even when it looks a little (or a lot) different from the norm.Lord, help __________ to have a faith like Noah. Help them to grow in righteousness and focus on you and your ways before anything else. When life is challenging or circumstances don’t make sense, may they walk in your ways, knowing that they are always good and that you are always faithful. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. (It also makes a wonderful gift for grandparents or friends!) And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I need EVERYONE to listen to this episode! It’s the kickoff episode for this upcoming school season and you will hear about an exciting new mentor program. I feel more excited than ever to be hosting Pardon The Mess this year. I feel expectant at what God is about to do IN and THROUGH our listeners. I believe it will be a multiplying year for all of us.I prayed for God to give me direction, discernment and a fresh wind for these upcoming episodes. I do not take it lightly that you trust me with your time and heart and I want to steward that well. Pray with me that God moves through these episodes to reach people for Jesus and that we glorify Him through our families.In today’s episode, you will have just me! I will share my journey with “mentorship” and invite you to join me all year. Maybe God is calling you to disciple or mentor a younger woman or maybe God is nudging you to reach out to a mentor. Either way, this episode will set you up for success and remind you why it matters.At the end of this week’s episode, I will answer some of your parenting questions. From parenting new drivers to teen girls to young adults - parenting is so hard and we all need practical help. I share some resources and encouragement around a few topics. Let me know what other questions you have. Simply DM me over at Pardon The Mess Podcast on Instagram and I will make a note for our next Q&A episode.Enjoy!Courtney (00:00) Welcome to Part of the Mess(01:22) The Power of Prayer and Community(02:38) Embracing Mentorship(04:52) The Importance of Discipleship(10:34) Introducing My Virtual Mentor(15:06) Reframing Your Role as a Mentor(20:02) Practical Steps for Mentoring(22:42) Q&A: Addressing Parenting ChallengesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Camp WinshapePraise God, All CreaturesSubscribe to Christian Parenting’s Friday FavoritesSpiritual GoalsCompass Church - Women’s Fall KickoffCompass Church - Mentor ProgramJohnson Ferry Baptist - Titus 2 MentoringGoals SheetDoing Life With Your Adult Children - book by Jim BurnsI’m happy for you, sort of, not really - book by Kay Wyma The Lion and the Bear - devotional by Caroline Shankle God Is - devotional by Alena (Pitts) Franklin The Better Friend - book by Grace ValentineGirl Mom Podcast by Kari KampakisPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s time for another school year. I am sure you’ve shopped for backpacks and school supplies and all of the things. Have you made a plan for how you will pray for your kids this year? I would argue it’s one of the most important things you can do for your family.Today’s guest is prayer warrior, author, TV host, speaker and Bible teacher, Jodie Berdnt. She has authored a series of books entitled Praying Scriptures. She has a book for little kids, teens up to adults. During our chat, she shows us some practical ways we can use God’s word to pray for our kids. Watch this episode on YouTube so you can see the little hands she traces for her kids and grandkids. So cute!My favorite part is that she talks about the biggest benefit or praying for our kids. Prayer unlocks the door to peace and security as a mom. I loved her encouragement that we can simply let go through the process of prayer. We can acknowledge that God is doing the work and He really cares for our kids. He can accomplish things that we never could as a mom. Wow! It’s just what I needed to hear at the start of another school year.Love,CourtneyChapters(00:00) Introduction and Personal Background(02:54) The Importance of Local Community(05:24) Prayer and Its Impact on Parenting(07:54) The Journey of Praying Scriptures for Children(11:19) Transformative Power of Prayer(13:57) Practical Prayer Strategies for Moms(16:43) Long-Term Prayer for Children(19:37) Praying for Teens and Young Adults(22:20) Encouragement for Moms(24:59) Closing Thoughts and BlessingsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Camp WinshapeBrave BooksConnect with JodieJodie’s BooksMomLife - Jodie’s show Moms in Prayer Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’ve got another great episode here at Pardon The Mess with Jessica Robertson. In this conversation, Jessica shares about her journey of faith, family and the importance of adoption. She reflects on her upbringing in a Christian home, the legacy of her father-in-law Phil Robertson, and the values instilled in her family.Jessica discusses the emotional journey of adopting her son and the challenges and joys that come with it. I loved hearing her heart for adoption and how that has impacted her own faith.My favorite part is at the end when she shares about what God is teaching her in motherhood right now. He has been pressing on her to slow down and enjoy the kids at every phase. That is a great challenge for this week. How can we slow down? Can we hug a little longer, stay at the park a little longer or linger at the kitchen table? Let’s not be so rushed that we miss moments with the gifts from above - our children.Does everyone have their Prayer Journal? I’m excited to pray together through this school year. Join me!Enjoy!Courtney(00:00) Introduction and Family Background(05:45) The Journey of Adoption(11:15) Challenges and Joys of Parenting an Adopted Child(16:31) The Heart of Adoption and Fostering(21:27) Dear Valor: A Story of Adoption(26:56) The Power of a Mother's Love and PresenceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with JessicaJep and Jess Growing the DynastyDear Valor - her newest bookBrave BooksAll God’s ChildrenFoster VillageCamp WinshapeBrave BooksPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

One of our listeners reached out about her need for resources for her blended family. I am so glad she did! This episode is for all of those navigated blended families and stepfamilies. I learned so much through this chat with Ron Deal and hope we all lean in to gather more understanding of all of God’s beautiful families. Ron L. Deal is a bestselling author, licensed marriage & family therapist, podcaster, and popular conference speaker who conducts “laugh and learn” marriage and family seminars and professional training around the country and online. He specializes in both marriage enrichment and stepfamily education.Frequently featured in the national media, Ron has worked full-time in marriage and family ministry since 1988 serving in both local churches and with FamilyLife®. He currently serves as President of Smart Stepfamilies™ and Senior Director of FamilyLife Blended®, a division of FamilyLife®. He is the most widely read and viewed author on blended families in the country.My favorite part is how Ron shares the complex nature of blended families but also gives hope! He reminds us that God is in this process and for your families. He also encourages parents to have patience for the timing of it all. Don’t give up! Enjoy!Courtney (0:00 - 2:00)Introduction to Ron Deal(2:01 - 10:00) The Complexity of Blended Families (10:01 - 18:00) Patience and Time in Family Bonding (18:01 - 25:00) Resources for Step-Parents (25:01 - 32:00) Ron’s Personal Journey (32:01 - 40:00) Mindful Marriage Book Discussion (40:01 - End) Closing Thoughts and Call to Action Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with RonSmart Stepfamilies - books and resourcesSmart Stepfamilies - find a counselor Family Life BlendedThe Mindful Marriage - new book and conferencesRight Now MediaRachel & Rod Brown with Ron Deal (Family Life interview)Clear Focus Bible for KidsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have a daughter or son headed off to college or maybe a high school senior? This episode is for you! I gathered three college sophomores and asked them all the questions. What are your dorm tips? Study tips? Rush tips? Now, these are three girls. So, I imagine we need to do another episode with some guys - because their perspective would be different. However, so much of what they shared is universal and helpful to all.Camryn, Caroline and Lucy offered such amazing encouragement for college kids on how to keep their faith a priority. I loved how they gave very practical tips from finding a mentor, finding a church, getting coffee with new friends and making a choice to spend time with God.My favorite part is when they share about what they appreciate about their moms. It’s so fun to hear from the mouths of grown kids what mattered in their lives. I pray that it will encourage you to keep loving God and loving your kids well. (00:00) Introduction and Dorm Essentials(05:40) Study Tips for College Success(11:28) Navigating Rush: Tips and Insights(17:02) Maintaining Faith in College(22:49) Appreciating Parents and Their InfluenceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources MentionedSchool SimplifiedOverwhelmed MomBrave BooksOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We made it to the end of the Empty Nester Wisdom series! If you missed any of these episodes, I encourage you to go back and be sure you have a notebook. Each guest brought such wisdom and godly encouragement for all seasons of parenting, but especially the empty nest season.I’m so grateful for these women and the timing of this series. God knew I needed these chats just before I send Ella off to college. Today’s guest is a dear friend and a trusted pastor of mine - Heidi Miller. She has been in ministry over 20 years and is currently serving as the Next Steps Pastor at my church, Compass Church. In this week’s episode, she shares about her journey with anxiety and what God has taught her through it all. Whether your child is headed to pre-K or college or their first job, it is so easy to lay awake at night and just marinate in the worry. Heidi gives us such practical ways we can power through anxiety with God by our side. He has met her in anxiety through worship, prayer and community. My favorite part is when she circles back to remind us all - that the thing she worried about most with Carlee was the very thing God used to transform her life. Praying you find deep encouragement and practical support today with this episode.Enjoy Courtney (00:00) Navigating Empty Nesting and Friendship(02:42) Understanding Anxiety in Parenting(05:31) The Journey of Acknowledging Anxiety(08:31) Finding God's Voice Amidst Anxiety(11:27) Practical Steps to Combat Anxiety(14:14) The Power of Community and Prayer(15:31) Navigating Parenting Challenges(19:08) The Importance of Prayer and Community(21:54) Surrendering to God at Night(24:49) Building Faith Through Everyday Moments(28:40) Creating a Welcoming Home for OthersConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with HeidiCompass ChurchSisterhood/Mentor Event at Compass Christy Nockels - King Who Never SleepsWorship Playlist by Heidi and CourtneyLectio 365Adventure BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy