Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” (Judges 16:28)Samson is known for his great strength and his great weaknesses. He was physically strong enough to kill a lion with his bare hands, and in the twenty years he led Israel, he killed hundreds and thousands of Philistines on his own. His weaknesses were his hair (it had to be long in order for him to be strong) and women. These weaknesses got him into trouble and eventually he was captured and the Lord left him. But in his final moments, he prayed for God to remember him and give him strength one more time, and the Lord answered.Samson reminds us that we all have strengths and weaknesses. And even our strengths have to be used wisely in order to honor God. But at the end of the day, God is full of mercy, and he can redeem even our greatest weaknesses when we turn to him and ask him.There may be times in our children’s lives when they turn away from God. They may go as far as rejecting Christ, or they may not honor him with their choices. But no mistake is too big for God. There is nothing our kids can do that God cannot redeem; he is always ready to restore us when we turn back to him.This week, let’s pray that our kids always follow God and honor him. But if they make mistakes or walk away, let’s pray that they turn back to God, ask for mercy, and experience God’s amazing redemption.Jesus, thank you for your amazing grace that restores us back to God. I pray that __________ will follow you all their life. But if they fall away, may they experience your redemption in a powerful way. Redeem the pain that they experience in their life, and even the mistakes they will make. Remind them that you are bigger than everything! I pray they are always confident in your goodness and in your desire to be in right relationship with them. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you going through an unwanted divorce? Or have a friend or family member going through an unwanted divorce? This powerful episode with Lysa TerKeurst is for you. I’m so thankful that Lysa is using her own divorce experience, healing journey and biblical understanding to encourage other women.Lysa shares about the significant challenges of an unwanted divorce. She shares about the unhelpful comments and verses thrown at people that choose divorce. She walks us through the powerful combination of theology and therapy and how those two things were key in her healing journey.This episode isn’t really for the person trying to determine IF they should divorce, it’s really for those that are already walking through the divorce from a destructive marriage and how to move forward. My favorite part is at the very end when she talks directly to the woman walking through an unwanted divorce. Her words are so tender and so encouraging. I am praying you will feel so seen. Enjoy!CourtneyChapter(02:46) The Need for a New Book(05:23) Understanding Divorce and Its Impact(08:19) Theological Insights on Divorce(11:05) Resources for Support(13:47) Identity and Self-Worth(15:19) Coping Strategies During Divorce(15:39) Finding Wholeness After DivorceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with LysaSurviving an Unwanted Divorce - new bookSurviving an Unwanted Divorce - podcast seriesEmily Lex WatercolorWhat to Say and How to Say it to Your TeenChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideThe Biggest Story Holy Bible for KidsPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16 NLT)We often hear Ruth 1:16 recited at weddings, and rightfully so; it is a beautiful verse about family and loyalty. When Ruth’s husband died, she decided to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though it meant leaving behind life as she knew it. Eventually she married again. Ruth’s new husband was a good and kind man named Boaz, and she remained faithful in caring for her mother-in-law.It would have been easy for Ruth to leave Naomi and start over. In fact, that is what Naomi tried to convince her to do. But Ruth was loyal to Naomi and to God, and she loved them both. Because of her kindness, God gave her a new family and a special place in his story—she became great-grandmother to King David, making her part of the lineage of Jesus. God can do anything with anyone when they are faithful.As parents, we have the opportunity to model the value of family, show our kids what it means to honor God by honoring each other, and raise our kids up to be loyal and kind. We would do anything for our kids, but even so, there will be times in parenting when it feels like your kids would choose to follow anyone else but you. In those moments, lean in and lavish them with love. We get to show them the love of Jesus in the way we parent them! Eventually that love will prepare them for their own family, and hopefully they will be as loyal to them and to God as Ruth was.This week, let’s pray that our kids love and serve their current and future families with loyal hearts.Father God, you are the perfect father. Help __________ to love and serve their family. May they be loyal, kind, and faithful. May they trust in my guidance as a parent. And most importantly, may they trust in you as their perfect parent and stay faithfully devoted to you all the days of their life. May they never know a day without being in your presence. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? What does that mean? I have come across a lot of moms that desperately want a mentor, but don’t have time to read a book. So! Each month, there will be a podcast topic and your only job is to:1) listen to the episode2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of youIf you’re just getting started - don’t miss the first couple episodes: My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodWhen I was mentored as a young mom, the topic of "personalities" was one of the most impactful lessons. I learned to study myself, my spouse and my kids and the benefits have been huge in my life. I am still learning all of us! On today’s episode, we get to hear from author, speaker and podcaster Karen Stubbs. Karen is the founder of Birds On A Wire Moms and has ministers to thousands of moms all over the world. She is passionate about challenging moms to experience motherhood in the way God designed it.Karen gets practical about how to learn temperaments and personalities for ourselves, our spouses and each of our kids. She also reminds us that we can partner with the Holy Spirit to refine us and grow us - so that we look more and more like Him. If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, you will find discussion questions, book referrals, personality tests, scripture verses and more below.Enjoy!CourtneyMY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (INTIMACY WITH GOD)Scripture to memorize:I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Psalm 139:14-15Scriptures for prayer and study:Galatians 5:16, 22-23Isaiah 64:8Ephesians 2:10Books for further study:Wired That Way - Marita LittauerA Grown-Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring by Kathleen EdelmanPersonality Plus for Couples by Florence LittauerPersonality Plus for Parents by Florence LittauerLove Languages by Gary ChapmanThe Road Back to You – Ian Cron, Suzanne StabileDiscussion questions: What are some of your strengths and weaknesses? And your husband’s? How can you balance each other out as a couple? How did God wire each of your kids? Strengths and weaknesses? What temperaments do you need to be aware of in each kid - as you parent them?(02:48) Understanding Personalities and Temperaments(05:38) The Importance of Knowing Yourself(08:26) Navigating Love Languages in Relationships(11:09) The Role of Awareness in Personal Growth(14:05) Integrating Faith with Personality Insights(15:07) Understanding Personality Types in Parenting(17:59) Navigating Different Personalities in Children(24:18) The Importance of Personality Awareness in Parenting(29:48) Embracing the Journey of Motherhood and GrandmotherhoodConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodConnect with KarenBirds On A WireFREE personality quiz from KarenEnneagram AssessmentSpiritual Gift Assessment Raising Boys & Girls Personality Series - start HEREWired That Way - Marita LittauerA Grown-Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring by Kathleen EdelmanPersonality Plus for Couples by Florence LittauerPersonality Plus for Parents by Florence LittauerLove Languages by Gary ChapmanThe Road Back to You – Ian Cron, Suzanne StabileChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideFather Yourself FirstNIV Application BibleThe Biggest Story Holy Bible for KidsPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? (James 2:14)Rahab is an unlikely hero. She started as a Canaanite prostitute, meaning she was a fallen woman living in a fallen city, and she eventually was listed in the genealogy of Jesus. Rahab’s life shows us that while faith is not about our works, a bold faith is actively lived out.When two Israelite spies came to Rahab’s home in Jericho, she protected them because she had heard about the things God had done. She turned away from her religion and her culture and put her trust in God. Because of this, Rahab and her family were spared when Jericho fell. In order to be saved, she had to place a scarlet cord on her window. Rahab obeyed this command knowing that she had to obey God in order to be saved. Her faith led her to action.Faith in Jesus transforms every part of us, including our actions. Our kids will have many chances to live their faith out loud. Sometimes that will mean taking a risk or standing out from the crowd. It might look like standing up for someone who is being picked on, leaving a party, putting an end to a rumor, or speaking God’s truth to someone they care about. We can encourage our kids to let God’s truth shape their actions, because when we do that, God does incredible things.This week, let’s pray that our kids move beyond simply believing in God in their hearts, and move toward acting boldly on that belief.Father God, help __________ to believe in you so deeply that their actions are changed. May their life reflect your love, grace, and goodness. When it’s easier to blend in, give them the faith to stand up for you and your ways. May they live a life that glorifies and expands your kingdom. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I love the topic of family legacy! The Robertsons surely have made a name for their family that is all about faith. Joining me today on the podcast is author, speaker and TV star Korie Robertson. She is so genuine and the love that she has for her family is so evident. You have likely seen the Robertson family through their show Duck Dynasty but I love that we hear about Korie’s side of the family too. What a tremendous legacy of faith!We chat about her experiences and insights on grandparenting, family legacy, and parenting adult children. She has always put an emphasis on “kindness” and “strength” in her home. What are some virtues or values that you hope to pass down through the generations? I love that her family called them the “Howard Principles for Life.”My favorite part is when she talks about the importance of community and church as you are raising a family. I love that reminder because it is easy to isolate ourselves these days and we need each other.And it’s almost November, which means my Christmas decorations are going up!!!Enjoy!CourtneyChapters(00:00) Embracing the Grandma Life(02:49) Family Legacy and Heritage of Faith(05:43) Intentional Parenting Values(08:27) The Importance of Kindness and Strength(11:19) Navigating Parenting Challenges(14:04) Mentorship and Community Support(16:56) Parenting Adult Children(19:50) Encouragement for Young Moms(22:45) Faith, Hope, and Love in Uncertain TimesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with KorieDuck Dynasty: The Revival on Hulu Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson The Blind - movie based on Phil and Kay’s storyLO Sister - Sadie’s ministryQuote by Dr Amen on guiltChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideOperation Christmas ChildPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)Joshua was one of only two people who left Egypt and entered the promised land. He was a military leader and a spy, and eventually took over as leader of the Israelites after Moses died. He continually led the Israelites into battle and trusted in God’s promise that they would reach and enter the promised land.Through all the battles and all the whining of the Israelites, it would have been easy for Joshua to feel overwhelmed, defeated, and afraid. And he probably did! But God continually reminded him to be strong and courageous. God did not want Joshua to rely on himself; he wanted Joshua to rely on him.We live in a world that tells us to “believe in yourself.” In reality, that’s a lot of pressure to put on ourselves, and it’s a lot of pressure for kids to feel. As Christian parents, we know a better way. When our kids doubt themselves, when they are nervous, they don’t feel good enough, and fear of failure quietly creeps into their minds, our job is to remind them that God is with them. He will never leave them or forsake them, so they don’t have to be brave on their own. True courage does not come from relying on ourselves; it comes from relying on the one who never fails.This week, let’s pray that our kids feel strong and courageous because of God’s never-ending presence in their life.Jesus, help __________ to feel strong and courageous—not because they know it all and can do it all but because they have access to you who does know it all and can do it all. Help them to remember that they don’t have to muster up their own energy and strength; they can talk to you, and you will lead them just like you have led your people before. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode is one we don’t want to think about - but we must. The average age of first exposure to pornography is between age 8 and 11. Porn is everywhere. As a parent, it can feel super intimidating and scary to think about these discussions. How do we talk to our kids? What language do I use? When is the right time? How can I protect them? How can I help through this struggle?Greta Eskridge is the author of How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn and she has a personal story of how porn almost ruined her family. You will love her honesty about her own story, her passion to help other families and the practical ways you can begin to protect your kids.My favorite part is when she shares about our reaction as parents. We want our kids to come to us whenever they are in trouble. We want to be a safe place so a calm and steady response is required. It is natural to react in anger and fear - but don’t forget it’s not too late. She encourages parents to circle back and remind your child that they are loved and you are there to help. She also encourages us as Christians parents on how to give them a “why” that ties this issue to their faith and God’s best plan for their life.Don’t miss this one!Courtney(01:03) The Journey to Addressing Pornography(02:36) Starting the Conversation with Kids(05:34) Creating a Safe Space for Discussion(08:22) Navigating Technology and Safety(13:05) Understanding the Impact of Pornography on Teens(19:45) The Role of Parents in Teen Conversations(24:28) Resources and Hope for HealingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with GretaGreta Eskridge PodcastIt’s Time To Talk to Your Kids About Porn by Greta EskridgeGood pictures, bad pictures - book for young kidsGod Made All of Me - a book to help children protect their bodiesSong on “private parts”Protect Young Eyes - router info and moreRomans 12:12Christian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideBeyond the Sex Talk podcast series - Gracebased podcastPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you.” (Exodus 4:14)Aaron was chosen by God to support Moses in leading the Israelites out of Egypt. When Moses doubted his ability to speak, Aaron stepped in and delivered God’s messages to Pharaoh. He was Moses’s helper! He wasn’t the main leader, but his role was still important—he stood beside Moses, helped perform miracles, and guided the Israelites.Later, God appointed Aaron as the first high priest; he had a time to support, and he had a time to lead. We know Aaron wasn’t perfect; he made a lot of mistakes, but God allows us to keep serving him despite our mistakes because he is full of grace.It’s natural for our kids to want to be the star of the show: the leader of the friend group, the starting player on the team, first in band, line leader. But Aaron’s life reminds us that God values leaders and the people who support them. Your child will lead at times, of course, but there will also be times when they need to humbly and graciously stand by the side of another leader. Sometimes being a friend, encourager, and helper is just as important as being in charge.This week, let’s pray that our kids seek the Lord, not the spotlight. Let’s pray that our kids honor God by serving where he places them, knowing it’s where they are meant to be to make the biggest difference.Lord, help __________ have a heart like Aaron’s—a heart that serves, supports, and honors you. Help them to remember that they don’t need accolades from people, because those are just temporary. Instead, help them to use their gifts to glorify you in every role that you call them to. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You will recognize the last name “Shankle” because Melanie Shankle is a frequent guest on Pardon The Mess. Melanie is one of my favorite authors out there and it’s so fun to have her daughter, Caroline Shankle, on the podcast today.She is so delightful and gives such a great perspective of what it’s like to be a young girl learning hard lessons with God by your side. She reflects on “3 giants teens are facing today.” From “fitting in” to “comparison” to “believing God is who He said He is.” It is so helpful for me to hear these things from a young girl that is part of my daughter’s generation.My favorite part is when she shares about her journey with her faith. How God made it real to her during her college years. She thought she wasn’t good enough to have a strong faith. What an encouraging reminder to our teens that God wants them “just as you are.” Make sure you hug your teens today and remind them that their struggles are normal, validate their journey through difficult seasons, pray for them and remind them that God has them. And then send them this episode and let Caroline remind them that these giants don’t have the final say.Enjoy!CourtneyChapters(02:51) Life as a Grad Student and Author(05:46) The Journey to Writing a Book(08:40) Facing Giants: Fitting In and Comparison(11:40) Believing in God: A Personal Journey(14:30) Lessons from Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego(17:23) Appreciating Family and Personal Growth(20:170 Fun Questions and Closing ThoughtsPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with CarolineCaroline’s new book - The Lion and the Bear Melanie’s episode on Storytellers Live (watching Caroline struggle)Impact - A&M freshmen retreatMelanie Shankle on Pardon The MessHere Be Dragons by Melanie ShankleChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideChristian Parenting resources10 Questions SeriesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy