Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

You all LOVED our series “Empty Nester Wisdom” from two years ago so we are bringing it back. Mentors have played such a vital role in my parenting journey. For the next two months, we are going to learn from other wise and godly moms that are just a season ahead of us. This series isn’t just for those entering the empty nest season - it’s for all moms and all stages. Get your journals ready for the next 9 weeks - they all offer some advice and encouragement worth keeping. And possibly bring a tissue box. Have you all watched the amazing show “Love On The Spectrum?” If not, you need to add that to your watch list for the summer. It’s a romantic documentary series as people on the autism spectrum look for love and navigate the changing world of dating and relationships.My guest today is Nicci Smith who is a mom, wife and fierce advocate of the autism community. Her son, Tanner, is one of the breakout stars of the show. Nicci is doing an amazing job of sharing her faith in her new found fame. In today’s episode, we hear from a seasoned mom of four grown kids and all that God has taught her along the way.She is so honest about her faith and her doubts which is so refreshing. She is also honest about how long she wanted to fix the autism out of Tanner. She provided invaluable wisdom to let go of control sooner. And to enjoy the exact child God gave to each of us. She shared that she’s thankful God didn’t answer her prayers to take the autism away. Join us for the next 9 weeks and don’t forget to grab a journal and take notes from these wise mommas. What a gift!Enjoy!Courtney (10:49) Acceptance and Letting Go(16:42) Trusting God's Plan for Our Children(18:40) The Power of Maternal Instincts(21:11) Navigating Sibling Dynamics in Special Needs Families(22:00) Fostering Compassion and Understanding Among Siblings(28:38) Transitioning to the Empty Nest Stage(31:08) Faith and Trust in Parenting JourneysConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with NicciConnect with TannerTalk To Me, Sis podcastChristian Parenting productsMarriage Simplified Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Guess who’s back? My dear friend Dana Sheheane. I wanted to get super practical as we end this school year with “best of parenting one-liners.” What one-liners do you remember from your childhood? What works in your house?We go rapid fire today and cover many topics - but you will get a taste of how we tried to keep respect a priority in our homes. We also talk about the new wave of “gentle parenting” and get honest about our concerns for this approach. As a children’s pastor, Dana sees many kids that have not learned about authority and some simple obedience. Let us know what you think!I hope this episode is practically helpful for you - and you get some ideas on how to incorporate some helpful little phrases. We compiled the list HERE (insert link) for you to print - and be sure to add your own. On social media this week, we will give you space to do that and we want to hear what’s working in your home. Of course, the most effective and most lasting one liners you can ever use can be found in God’s word. Don’t forget to have scripture in your home and try to memorize as you go. You can find ABC Scripture Cards at Cleerely Stated - these are the updated versions of the cards I created for my kids when they were young. Looking back, I’m so glad these truths were hidden in their hearts from an early age.Congratulations on the end of the school year mommas - you did it!Love,Courtney (02:50) Summer Plans and Community Engagement(06:00) Health Updates and Family Challenges(12:09) Parenting Insights and One-Liners(21:28) Navigating Disappointment and Attitude(22:34) Encouraging Independence in Problem-Solving(23:58) Instilling Values of Love and Acceptance(24:26) Awareness and Responsibility in Life(25:09) Teaching Accountability and Contribution(26:09) Raising Considerate and Kind Individuals(27:16) Understanding Self-Worth Beyond Appearance(28:21) Teamwork and Shared Responsibilities(29:40) Learning from Mistakes and Growth(30:57) The Importance of Punctuality and Respect(32:01) Assuming Positive Intent in Relationships(34:37) Planning and Responsibility in Adulthood(36:39) Setting Boundaries and Respecting No(37:10) The Power of Kindness and Empathy(41:31) Intentional Prayer and Connection with ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Link to one-liners PDFDana’s first episode on PTMMountain Brook Community ChurchConnect with DanaABC Scripture CardsScripture Affirmation CardsNoteworthy PrayersNoteworthy KidsChristian Parenting productsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne” (Hebrews 12:2 NLT)We have spent the last few months together praying for our kids to live a life of faith. We have prayed that they would know, love, follow, and share the good news of Jesus. Might I encourage you to continue in these prayers? Our job as a praying parent does not end just because this journal ends.Prayer is the very best gift you can give your kids and the only one that will last forever. Keep doing the hard and holy work of raising your kids in the faith, your work is not in vain and it does not go unnoticed. Continue to pray for your kids to have a lasting faith in Jesus and that they will keep their eyes on him, working to expand his kingdom until the end of their journey when they hear the Lord say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Remember, a life of faith is not linear. Your faith story has ups and downs and your kids’ faith stories will have ups and downs, too. So no matter where your kids currently are or will be in their faith journey, do not lose hope. Remember that God is sovereign over all things—including the lives of your kids. He loves your kids even more than you do and he knows how their stories will go.Together, let’s make it our mission to pray for the next generation to live full lives of lasting faith and make a big impact in the world for God’s kingdom as they share with others what he has done in their lives Father God, thank you for the opportunity to raise the child/children you have given me. Thank you for the gift of communicating with you through prayer. I lift up ________ to you and pray that they will live a full life of faith. Lord, in all the ups and downs of their life, may they continue to keep their eyes on you. May they know how much you love them and may they love you back wholeheartedly. Wrap your arms tightly around them all the days of their life. You know ________’s story and I trust you with it. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode was phenomenal! I think it’s my favorite episode since I started with Pardon The Mess and I’m praying this one goes far and wide. I have to shake my head that I get to talk to people that I admire so much. Lee Strobel is a renowned investigative journalist, former atheist, best selling author - who has spent his career diving into evidence that God is real.In this conversation, we chat about the supernatural realm. We dive into demons, angels, deathbed visions and much more. I shared my fear about Satan and my skepticism that rises up in this area. I pray that this meets you in your doubts and questions and will give you some opportunities to chat with your atheist friends about God. I also pray this one ignites your faith in a new way.My favorite part is at the end when we talk about parenting and the supernatural realm. How do we talk about our kids’ doubts and questions about faith? He shares about a nightly rhythm he had with his kids - to give them a regular and safe space to ponder their faith.Enjoy!Courtney (02:56) Exploring the Supernatural(06:04) Experiences of Miracles and Healing(09:05) The Role of Faith and Skepticism(11:58) Dreams and Encounters with the Divine(14:57) Understanding Demonic Influence(17:11) Demonic Encounters and Exorcisms(20:34) The Tension of Faith and Skepticism(24:24) Navigating the Supernatural in Christianity(28:41) Teaching Kids About the SupernaturalConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Lee StrobelThe Case for ChristSeeing The Supernatural Marriage SimplifiedNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Then I heard the Lord asking, ‘Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?’ I said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’” (Isaiah 6:8 NLT)We don’t know what God will call our kids to do in their lives, but we do know that he won’t call them to sit still. He will not call them to keep the good news to themselves. Whatever their profession looks like, wherever they live, whatever their interests are, or who their friends are, God will call our kids to tell people about Jesus! We are God’s first plan for spreading the gospel—he relies on his kids to be faithful to their calling to go for him. When God says go, we don’t say no, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable! Since God will call our kids to share their faith, let’s raise them to respond confidently and go boldly into the situation they are called and say, “This is who I was before I met Jesus and this is who I am now.” This week let’s pray that when God calls our kids, they will go. Jesus, I pray that ___________ will respond to your call to go and make disciples confidently and boldly. May they tell others about the amazing things you have done in their lives every day. May they be so in awe of your kindness that they can’t help but share your good news. And when they do share about you, Lord, may they do so lovingly and gracefully. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Can you imagine a world where your kids had room to be kids? Where they didn’t hate learning? Where they learned the Bible, core subjects and still had time to play and create and travel? Homeschooling has come so far over the years. As the culture changes and gets further from Jesus and biblical teachings - I think it’s important to pause and just consider if this could be an option for your family. However, we all carry myths about homeschooling. Whether it’s the idea that they won’t be socialized or that moms can’t have a job outside of this or that we have to be good in all subjects - let’s debunk those together. I am delighted to learn from Lyndsey Mimnagh with Treehouse Schoolhouse in this episode. She is so passionate about this style of education and helps break down the myths and the realities. My favorite part is when she shares about the benefits she is seeing in her children and their family culture. Don’t let fear or insecurity talk you out of something God is nudging you to try! Take a listen and pray on the next steps for your children and their schooling. Just one step. Don’t believe the lie that you have to make that decision when they are toddlers and never change course. Enjoy!Courtney (03:000 The Joys of Camping and Family Adventures(05:55) The Journey into Homeschooling(08:52) Debunking Myths About Homeschooling(11:56) Socialization in Homeschooling(14:51) The Role of Parents in Homeschooling(17:05) The Joy of Learning at Home(21:30) Balancing Homeschooling and Personal Life(22:48) Creating Resources for Homeschooling(25:01) Rooted in Faith: A Curriculum for Families(27:04) Encouragement for Hesitant Parents(29:10) Navigating Independence in Parenting(31:14) Practical Tips for Daily LifeConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Lyndsey at Treehouse Schoolhouse (CODE: PARDONTHEMESS15 = 15% OFF anything in her store) Rooted - Family Bible Curriculum Treehouse Book ClubMarriage SimplifiedPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all’” (Mark 9:35)We all want our kids to be leaders in their communities now and in the future. As followers of Jesus, we are called to see ourselves last instead of first. In fact, the Bible tells us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. This means we lead not by positioning ourselves well, but by seeing the needs of others and meeting those needs with our giftings and resources. When we serve and love others in this way, we serve and love God. This week, let’s pray that our kids become humble servant leaders in their communities to make a big impact on God’s kingdom. Let’s pray that they are the first to help when they see others in need and that they reflect Christ’s gentleness, mercy, and willingness to sacrificially serve and share with others.Jesus, help us to lead like you do. May ______________ set aside their desire for power and accolades and serve out of a heart for you and your kingdom. I pray that they continue to make a difference in their community because of the example of service that you give us. May their heart stay humble and focused on you. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever heard the term “mental load” as it relates to what we carry as moms? It's the same as carrying every single thing up the stairs as your arms give way to the overload. Our minds do the same. We just snap because our minds aren’t meant to carry so much. So what do we do? How do we keep our care and responsibility high for our kids without drowning?I was delighted to talk about this issue with Emily Jensen, founder of Risen Motherhood. She’s a mom of 5, author, speaker, podcaster and has so much encouragement and practical tips for us.Mother’s Day is this week and I want to challenge us. If you have some expectations or needs for what you need for that day - would you tell your spouse? Or family? Or children? This will help the day to be much smoother! My favorite part is when she shares about her recent decision to walk away from a big part of her ministry at Risen Motherhood. She put everything before the Lord and asked Him to confirm which things should go in this season. Wow! What a brave thing to do and I can’t wait to see how He honors her with letting go of something so close to her heart.Happy Mother’s Day beautiful moms! You are so loved by God. You are doing a phenomenal job or raising your kids. Giving you a huge Texas hug!Much love,Courtney(02:50) The Mission Behind 'A Million Tiny Moments'(06:04) Understanding the Mental Load in Motherhood(09:05) Strategies to Alleviate the Mental Load(11:54) Long-Term vs. Short-Term Parenting Goals(14:53) Finding Clarity Through Prayer and Decision-Making(16:49) Navigating Life's Seasons(21:27) Alleviating the Mental Load(25:58) Empowering Kids with Responsibility(28:15) Managing Expectations for Mother's Day(32:31) Finding Peace in MotherhoodConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with EmilyRisen MotherhoodA Million Tiny Moments - new book by Emily JensenMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuideNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8 NLT)How do we reconcile fairness in a world that is unjust and broken? I always tell my kids, fair does not mean equal. We can’t make everything fair in the world because fairness is how we are treated individually and everyone’s wants, situations, and abilities are different. Justice goes deeper than fairness. Justice is about what we deserve and we all deserve the same things. In the Bible, justice means everyone—the poor, the widows, the orphans, the immigrants, are cared for just like everyone else. Scripture calls us to care for these people, but that might seem really abstract to kids. So, we can teach our kids that seeking justice means including the kid with learning differences in class projects. Making sure the lonely kid is invited to the party. And it can mean standing up for what is right when someone is being wronged, bullied, or picked on. Actively seeking justice looks like our kids being a peacemaker instead of a peacekeeper and sometimes that is hard! But we are promised that the peacemakers will be called sons and daughters of God! This week, let’s pray that our kids share God’s heart for others in the way they treat people around them. Let’s pray that our kids’ hearts break for what breaks God’s and that they see injustice in the world and have the courage and faith to stand up to it.God, I pray that _______________ will see what is right, love what is right, and humbly do what is right in your name. In an unjust world, I pray that _____________ will seek justice in all situations. When they see someone being mistreated, give them the courage to step in. When they see the opportunity to help, give them the ability to do so. I pray that as they grow they see injustices beyond their small communities and in the greater world and do what is in their power to right them. Amen.https://churchonthemove.com/pursuing-justiceOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

They are back! Sissy Goff and David Thomas are back to equip us with “3 core needs for every kid.” They are always so encouraging and so very practical. The work they have done in their counseling offices has helped thousands of parents just like me. I cling to their perspective and biblical encouragement. We talk about our kids’ need for resilience, courage and relationship. We also talk about the health benefits for your kids when they have a dog. I couldn't agree more and I was the most anti-dog person in our family until we got our dog. And if you want to go watch this one on YouTube - you’ll see a cute appearance by Sissy’s dog, Patches.My favorite part was when they shared about our kids’ need for connection more than correction. I am so guilty of critiquing my kids and I can see their little faces sink when I do that. This is a huge reminder for us all to fight for connection instead of staying stuck in a loop of critique. What would the little kid in you want from your parents? Let’s stay alert this week and catch ourselves when we lead with criticism. In this episode, we discuss: Health benefits of kids having a dogResilience and taking healthy risks How to speak courage into the lives of our kidsHow to prioritize relationships Enjoy!Courtney (02:59) Core Needs for Kids: The Importance of Dogs(06:04) The Role of Courage in Child Development(12:01) Healthy Risk Taking in Children(17:59) Building Relationships and Social Skills(23:57) Conclusion and Resources for ParentsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Sissy and DavidDaystar Counseling Daystar dogs - new books – Owen Learns He Has What It Takes and Lucy Learns to Be BraveAnxious GenerationMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy