Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Happy Summer folks!This is the first episode in this series that I did not cry. You’re welcome. I wanted to get super practical with this one and asked Chrystal Hurst Evans to bring her best empty nest tips for us. She shares about ways we can start training and teaching our kids to live without us. From budgeting to cooking - she explains that much of this training happens well before their senior year. It’s a mindset shift earlier that helps make us all ready for those launching years.As a writer, speaker and gatherer, Chrystal has a massive passion for women and how to get us up and moving towards goals. She is that “you can do it” friend that will light a fire under your overwhelmed body. My favorite is when she shares about how to be a student of yourself. She reminds us that we each have massive skills and gifts from God and we often need our circle of friends to point those out. As moms, we often lose confidence in our skills and it can cause fear as the kids leave the home. What will I do now? Do I have what it takes to change directions or careers now that my time is more flexible? Praying this episode greatly encourages you and provides practical ways to equip you and your family for a new season.In this episode, we chat about:  Drawing boundaries with adult kidsTeaching financial responsibility Learning yourself again - gifts, passions and skillsPrioritizing prayer as you have less control Enjoy!Courtney (00:00) Introduction and Personal Background(03:03) Navigating the Challenges of Parenting(05:45) Building a Business with Family(08:50) Preparing for Empty Nesting(11:42) The Importance of Early Independence(14:29) Rediscovering Personal Passions(17:24) Recognizing Transferable Skills(19:37) The Journey of Self-Discovery(22:51) Embracing Change in Marriage(30:17) Faith and the Empty Nest ExperienceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with Chrystal Join the Sister Circle100 Days to Discovering the Gift of You - Chrystal’s latest bookChristian Parenting ProductsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have another great episode in the Empty Nester Wisdom series with Empty Nest Coach and host of the Midlife Momma Podcast, Pamela Henkelman. It was so fun to watch her soar in this conversation and it’s clear she has a passion in this phase of motherhood.Pamela shares that this is a very sweet time of life that we can enjoy. We don’t need to dread this transition. It’s a season where we can rediscover our purpose and our joy. I know she will get you excited to look ahead to this new phase with excitement not dread.My favorite part is when she talks about her intentional thinking around relationships. She doesn’t just prioritize the relationship with her kids, she aims at loving their spouses well. Even if you’re 10 years out from being an “in-law,” tuck away this wisdom from a seasoned mom that is running her empty nest race well.In this episode, we chat about:Allowing children to grow independentlyConnecting with their spousesChoosing your words wisely with adult childrenLetting go of expectations with holidaysEnjoy!Courtney Chapters(00:00) Introduction and Personal Connections(02:57) Transitioning to Empty Nest Coaching(05:55) Navigating Relationships with Adult Children(08:57) Setting Boundaries with Adult Children(11:58) The Role of Spouses and In-Laws(15:00) Rediscovering Identity in Midlife(18:01) Embracing New Opportunities(20:49) Creating a Welcoming Home Environment(24:03) Success Stories and Client Transformations(26:46) Conclusion and ResourcesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeo2025-2026 Prayer Journal: A Great Cloud of WitnessesResources from today’s show:Connect with Pamela HenkelmanFree! 10 things NOT to say to your adult childSheepgate - addiction recovery in IowaPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Summer friends!We are continuing our series, Empty Nester Wisdom, with my friend Amy Fenton. Amy is a mom to three grown kids and she’s been serving in children’s ministry for over 30 years. She has a passion for equipping the local church and the young children that come into those doors. Amy talks about raising three kids (two boys) as a single mom and how the local church supported them along the way. She had a desire for her boys to be influenced by strong Christian men - and she can look back now and see God’s faithfulness. I pray through this episode that many feel called to step into volunteering for kids and students at your local church. It matters!I loved her encouragement about finding a church that your kids actually enjoy. It may take sacrifice on your part, but consider prioritizing their needs in a church community when they are so young. I loved this practical yet profound advice for us all!In this episode, we chat about:Asking for help as a single momHow to find a local church Importance of role models our kids’ livesHow to support your children’s ministries Enjoy!Courtney Chapters:(01:24) Journey in Children's Ministry(02:46) The Importance of Volunteer Engagement(05:22) The Role of Community in Child Development(08:34) Finding the Right Church Environment(11:24) Balancing Parental Guidance and Faith(15:35) Reflections on Parenting and Counseling(17:07) Starting the Journey: Finding Support for Mental Health(19:01) Building a Supportive Community for Children(21:42) The Myth of the Parenting Checklist(22:54) The Role of Parents in Church Involvement(26:00) Rediscovering Self in the Empty Nest(29:07) Encouragement for Single MomsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Amy (amy@thinkorange.com)Curriculum at Think Orange Amazing Life Foundation Cross Point ChurchRaising Boys and GirlAmy’s episode on Raising Boys and GirlsHow to find a counselor for my child Christian Parenting ProductsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have a rock star mom on the podcast today! Susan Peterson is a mom I have looked up to for years. She’s the co-founder of Relish, board member for Young Life and longtime volunteer serving Passion City Church and Illuminations. And fun little fact, she is the reason my little “ABC Scripture Cards” hit the market over 13 years ago.There are many parts of this I want every mom to hear, but make sure you hear her approach to the emotions of the empty nest stage. She didn’t think she would be sad when her kids left the home and was surprised by the mourning. She gives us permission to stop and feel it. Don't miss her advice to take the time to ask God what is next and take the time to mourn the season that you loved so much. I also loved her challenge to stop and thank God for the gift of being a mom and having kids in your home.Susan’s family has always traveled the globe serving God. As you will hear towards the end, she said that getting her kids out of their country was one of the best decisions they made. They were able to see God at work in the world. It changed each of them. So inspiring!I know you will absolutely enjoy this jewel of a human. Susan is a treasure and I’m delighted to share her words with you today. Praying you feel Jesus pour right through every minute.Enjoy,Courtney (00:55) The State of Bible Translation(03:09) Navigating the Empty Nest(06:12) Finding Identity After Parenting(08:56) The Balance of Parenting and Faith(14:03) Lessons Learned from Parenting(18:02) Encouragement for Younger Moms(22:04) Final Thoughts and ResourcesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SusanRelishDottie CollectionYoung LifeIlluminations12 Verse ChallengeFirst episode with Jennifer on PTM Support Christian Parenting NIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have Sharon Mankin back on the podcast! You all loved her wisdom and practical help the last time she was on the podcast. From the first minute to the end, you can see why Sharon is a coach to many women. She has empathy, understanding and practical tools to help us navigate challenging seasons. This conversation is helpful to all moms in all seasons who want to “let go” of their kids in a healthy way. I am a lifelong learner and I crave wisdom from women that are ahead of me in their journey. If you are heading into the empty nester season, you will be extra encouraged by her insight, stories and tips. She reminds us that we can discover purpose beyond our parenting role. She reminds us that God is not done with us! My favorite part is towards the end when she shares about how to know when to step in and when to stay calm and let our adult kids walk through their struggles. I will treasure this advice ahead of Ella’s college years. In this episode, we discuss:Navigating empty nest stageEmotional journey of letting goHow to recalibrate our expectationsHow to discover purpose beyond parentingEnjoy!Courtney (03:06) Navigating the Empty Nest Stage(05:56) Emotional Journey of Letting Go(08:57) Recalibrating Expectations with Independence(12:00) Understanding Codependency and Communication(15:01) Finding Joy in the Transition(17:56) Personal Growth and Rediscovering Identity(21:38) Discovering Purpose Beyond Parenting(24:51) The Importance of Disruption for Growth(25:35) Balancing Support and Independence in Parenting(28:40) Emotional Strength and Empathy in Parenting(30:39) Creative Ways to Love Your Kids from a Distance(37:50) Encouragement and Connection in ParentingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SharonFirst episode with Sharon on PTMWho Matters Most - relationship exercise Touch Note - Post CardsSupport Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You all LOVED our series “Empty Nester Wisdom” from two years ago so we are bringing it back. Mentors have played such a vital role in my parenting journey. For the next two months, we are going to learn from other wise and godly moms that are just a season ahead of us. This series isn’t just for those entering the empty nest season - it’s for all moms and all stages. Get your journals ready for the next 9 weeks - they all offer some advice and encouragement worth keeping. And possibly bring a tissue box. I absolutely LOVED this chat with my buddy Jennifer Scott about the empty nest years. She shares so many pieces of wisdom as she has triplet kids all in college. I asked her what she’s glad they did as she looks back. Her answer was so encouraging to me. “We invested in a foundation of faith and foundation of relationship.” We can do that parents! We can invest in our kids’ faith and in our relationship with them. How do you know when to step in with your college or adult kids? Jennifer shares about how we must discern and lean on God to know when to hold back and when to show up. Don’t miss this episode! It’s for moms of all ages. I LOVE learning from moms ahead of me.Thank you Jennifer for always being willing to share your heart, your wisdom and how God is working in your life. It’s invaluable insight for the moms behind you. Enjoy this empty nester wisdom with Jennifer.In this episode, we discuss: Setting realistic expectations when college kids come homeResisting the urge to look back and nitpick how you parentedTrusting God with your kids when the story isn’t finishedKeeping relationship with your kid when we disagree with choices Enjoy!CourtneyChapters:(02:55) Navigating Life Changes(06:12) Lessons in Parenting and Faith(08:52) Returning to the Workforce(11:58) The Challenge of Empty Nesting(15:01) Supporting Kids Through Struggles(18:01) The Reality of College Life(20:55) Reflecting on Parenting(24:11) Trusting God with Our ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with JenniferFirst episode with Jennifer on PTM Christian Parenting resourcesMarriage SimplifiedNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You all LOVED our series “Empty Nester Wisdom” from two years ago so we are bringing it back. Mentors have played such a vital role in my parenting journey. For the next two months, we are going to learn from other wise and godly moms that are just a season ahead of us. This series isn’t just for those entering the empty nest season - it’s for all moms and all stages. Get your journals ready for the next 9 weeks - they all offer some advice and encouragement worth keeping. And possibly bring a tissue box. Have you all watched the amazing show “Love On The Spectrum?” If not, you need to add that to your watch list for the summer. It’s a romantic documentary series as people on the autism spectrum look for love and navigate the changing world of dating and relationships.My guest today is Nicci Smith who is a mom, wife and fierce advocate of the autism community. Her son, Tanner, is one of the breakout stars of the show. Nicci is doing an amazing job of sharing her faith in her new found fame. In today’s episode, we hear from a seasoned mom of four grown kids and all that God has taught her along the way.She is so honest about her faith and her doubts which is so refreshing. She is also honest about how long she wanted to fix the autism out of Tanner. She provided invaluable wisdom to let go of control sooner. And to enjoy the exact child God gave to each of us. She shared that she’s thankful God didn’t answer her prayers to take the autism away. Join us for the next 9 weeks and don’t forget to grab a journal and take notes from these wise mommas. What a gift!Enjoy!Courtney (10:49) Acceptance and Letting Go(16:42) Trusting God's Plan for Our Children(18:40) The Power of Maternal Instincts(21:11) Navigating Sibling Dynamics in Special Needs Families(22:00) Fostering Compassion and Understanding Among Siblings(28:38) Transitioning to the Empty Nest Stage(31:08) Faith and Trust in Parenting JourneysConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with NicciConnect with TannerTalk To Me, Sis podcastChristian Parenting productsMarriage Simplified Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Guess who’s back? My dear friend Dana Sheheane. I wanted to get super practical as we end this school year with “best of parenting one-liners.” What one-liners do you remember from your childhood? What works in your house?We go rapid fire today and cover many topics - but you will get a taste of how we tried to keep respect a priority in our homes. We also talk about the new wave of “gentle parenting” and get honest about our concerns for this approach. As a children’s pastor, Dana sees many kids that have not learned about authority and some simple obedience. Let us know what you think!I hope this episode is practically helpful for you - and you get some ideas on how to incorporate some helpful little phrases. We compiled the list HERE (insert link) for you to print - and be sure to add your own. On social media this week, we will give you space to do that and we want to hear what’s working in your home. Of course, the most effective and most lasting one liners you can ever use can be found in God’s word. Don’t forget to have scripture in your home and try to memorize as you go. You can find ABC Scripture Cards at Cleerely Stated - these are the updated versions of the cards I created for my kids when they were young. Looking back, I’m so glad these truths were hidden in their hearts from an early age.Congratulations on the end of the school year mommas - you did it!Love,Courtney (02:50) Summer Plans and Community Engagement(06:00) Health Updates and Family Challenges(12:09) Parenting Insights and One-Liners(21:28) Navigating Disappointment and Attitude(22:34) Encouraging Independence in Problem-Solving(23:58) Instilling Values of Love and Acceptance(24:26) Awareness and Responsibility in Life(25:09) Teaching Accountability and Contribution(26:09) Raising Considerate and Kind Individuals(27:16) Understanding Self-Worth Beyond Appearance(28:21) Teamwork and Shared Responsibilities(29:40) Learning from Mistakes and Growth(30:57) The Importance of Punctuality and Respect(32:01) Assuming Positive Intent in Relationships(34:37) Planning and Responsibility in Adulthood(36:39) Setting Boundaries and Respecting No(37:10) The Power of Kindness and Empathy(41:31) Intentional Prayer and Connection with ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Link to one-liners PDFDana’s first episode on PTMMountain Brook Community ChurchConnect with DanaABC Scripture CardsScripture Affirmation CardsNoteworthy PrayersNoteworthy KidsChristian Parenting productsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne” (Hebrews 12:2 NLT)We have spent the last few months together praying for our kids to live a life of faith. We have prayed that they would know, love, follow, and share the good news of Jesus. Might I encourage you to continue in these prayers? Our job as a praying parent does not end just because this journal ends.Prayer is the very best gift you can give your kids and the only one that will last forever. Keep doing the hard and holy work of raising your kids in the faith, your work is not in vain and it does not go unnoticed. Continue to pray for your kids to have a lasting faith in Jesus and that they will keep their eyes on him, working to expand his kingdom until the end of their journey when they hear the Lord say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Remember, a life of faith is not linear. Your faith story has ups and downs and your kids’ faith stories will have ups and downs, too. So no matter where your kids currently are or will be in their faith journey, do not lose hope. Remember that God is sovereign over all things—including the lives of your kids. He loves your kids even more than you do and he knows how their stories will go.Together, let’s make it our mission to pray for the next generation to live full lives of lasting faith and make a big impact in the world for God’s kingdom as they share with others what he has done in their lives Father God, thank you for the opportunity to raise the child/children you have given me. Thank you for the gift of communicating with you through prayer. I lift up ________ to you and pray that they will live a full life of faith. Lord, in all the ups and downs of their life, may they continue to keep their eyes on you. May they know how much you love them and may they love you back wholeheartedly. Wrap your arms tightly around them all the days of their life. You know ________’s story and I trust you with it. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode was phenomenal! I think it’s my favorite episode since I started with Pardon The Mess and I’m praying this one goes far and wide. I have to shake my head that I get to talk to people that I admire so much. Lee Strobel is a renowned investigative journalist, former atheist, best selling author - who has spent his career diving into evidence that God is real.In this conversation, we chat about the supernatural realm. We dive into demons, angels, deathbed visions and much more. I shared my fear about Satan and my skepticism that rises up in this area. I pray that this meets you in your doubts and questions and will give you some opportunities to chat with your atheist friends about God. I also pray this one ignites your faith in a new way.My favorite part is at the end when we talk about parenting and the supernatural realm. How do we talk about our kids’ doubts and questions about faith? He shares about a nightly rhythm he had with his kids - to give them a regular and safe space to ponder their faith.Enjoy!Courtney (02:56) Exploring the Supernatural(06:04) Experiences of Miracles and Healing(09:05) The Role of Faith and Skepticism(11:58) Dreams and Encounters with the Divine(14:57) Understanding Demonic Influence(17:11) Demonic Encounters and Exorcisms(20:34) The Tension of Faith and Skepticism(24:24) Navigating the Supernatural in Christianity(28:41) Teaching Kids About the SupernaturalConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Lee StrobelThe Case for ChristSeeing The Supernatural Marriage SimplifiedNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy