Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

We have a rock star mom on the podcast today! Susan Peterson is a mom I have looked up to for years. She’s the co-founder of Relish, board member for Young Life and longtime volunteer serving Passion City Church and Illuminations. And fun little fact, she is the reason my little “ABC Scripture Cards” hit the market over 13 years ago.There are many parts of this I want every mom to hear, but make sure you hear her approach to the emotions of the empty nest stage. She didn’t think she would be sad when her kids left the home and was surprised by the mourning. She gives us permission to stop and feel it. Don't miss her advice to take the time to ask God what is next and take the time to mourn the season that you loved so much. I also loved her challenge to stop and thank God for the gift of being a mom and having kids in your home.Susan’s family has always traveled the globe serving God. As you will hear towards the end, she said that getting her kids out of their country was one of the best decisions they made. They were able to see God at work in the world. It changed each of them. So inspiring!I know you will absolutely enjoy this jewel of a human. Susan is a treasure and I’m delighted to share her words with you today. Praying you feel Jesus pour right through every minute.Enjoy,Courtney (00:55) The State of Bible Translation(03:09) Navigating the Empty Nest(06:12) Finding Identity After Parenting(08:56) The Balance of Parenting and Faith(14:03) Lessons Learned from Parenting(18:02) Encouragement for Younger Moms(22:04) Final Thoughts and ResourcesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SusanRelishDottie CollectionYoung LifeIlluminations12 Verse ChallengeFirst episode with Jennifer on PTM Support Christian Parenting NIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have Sharon Mankin back on the podcast! You all loved her wisdom and practical help the last time she was on the podcast. From the first minute to the end, you can see why Sharon is a coach to many women. She has empathy, understanding and practical tools to help us navigate challenging seasons. This conversation is helpful to all moms in all seasons who want to “let go” of their kids in a healthy way. I am a lifelong learner and I crave wisdom from women that are ahead of me in their journey. If you are heading into the empty nester season, you will be extra encouraged by her insight, stories and tips. She reminds us that we can discover purpose beyond our parenting role. She reminds us that God is not done with us! My favorite part is towards the end when she shares about how to know when to step in and when to stay calm and let our adult kids walk through their struggles. I will treasure this advice ahead of Ella’s college years. In this episode, we discuss:Navigating empty nest stageEmotional journey of letting goHow to recalibrate our expectationsHow to discover purpose beyond parentingEnjoy!Courtney (03:06) Navigating the Empty Nest Stage(05:56) Emotional Journey of Letting Go(08:57) Recalibrating Expectations with Independence(12:00) Understanding Codependency and Communication(15:01) Finding Joy in the Transition(17:56) Personal Growth and Rediscovering Identity(21:38) Discovering Purpose Beyond Parenting(24:51) The Importance of Disruption for Growth(25:35) Balancing Support and Independence in Parenting(28:40) Emotional Strength and Empathy in Parenting(30:39) Creative Ways to Love Your Kids from a Distance(37:50) Encouragement and Connection in ParentingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SharonFirst episode with Sharon on PTMWho Matters Most - relationship exercise Touch Note - Post CardsSupport Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You all LOVED our series “Empty Nester Wisdom” from two years ago so we are bringing it back. Mentors have played such a vital role in my parenting journey. For the next two months, we are going to learn from other wise and godly moms that are just a season ahead of us. This series isn’t just for those entering the empty nest season - it’s for all moms and all stages. Get your journals ready for the next 9 weeks - they all offer some advice and encouragement worth keeping. And possibly bring a tissue box. I absolutely LOVED this chat with my buddy Jennifer Scott about the empty nest years. She shares so many pieces of wisdom as she has triplet kids all in college. I asked her what she’s glad they did as she looks back. Her answer was so encouraging to me. “We invested in a foundation of faith and foundation of relationship.” We can do that parents! We can invest in our kids’ faith and in our relationship with them. How do you know when to step in with your college or adult kids? Jennifer shares about how we must discern and lean on God to know when to hold back and when to show up. Don’t miss this episode! It’s for moms of all ages. I LOVE learning from moms ahead of me.Thank you Jennifer for always being willing to share your heart, your wisdom and how God is working in your life. It’s invaluable insight for the moms behind you. Enjoy this empty nester wisdom with Jennifer.In this episode, we discuss: Setting realistic expectations when college kids come homeResisting the urge to look back and nitpick how you parentedTrusting God with your kids when the story isn’t finishedKeeping relationship with your kid when we disagree with choices Enjoy!CourtneyChapters:(02:55) Navigating Life Changes(06:12) Lessons in Parenting and Faith(08:52) Returning to the Workforce(11:58) The Challenge of Empty Nesting(15:01) Supporting Kids Through Struggles(18:01) The Reality of College Life(20:55) Reflecting on Parenting(24:11) Trusting God with Our ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with JenniferFirst episode with Jennifer on PTM Christian Parenting resourcesMarriage SimplifiedNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You all LOVED our series “Empty Nester Wisdom” from two years ago so we are bringing it back. Mentors have played such a vital role in my parenting journey. For the next two months, we are going to learn from other wise and godly moms that are just a season ahead of us. This series isn’t just for those entering the empty nest season - it’s for all moms and all stages. Get your journals ready for the next 9 weeks - they all offer some advice and encouragement worth keeping. And possibly bring a tissue box. Have you all watched the amazing show “Love On The Spectrum?” If not, you need to add that to your watch list for the summer. It’s a romantic documentary series as people on the autism spectrum look for love and navigate the changing world of dating and relationships.My guest today is Nicci Smith who is a mom, wife and fierce advocate of the autism community. Her son, Tanner, is one of the breakout stars of the show. Nicci is doing an amazing job of sharing her faith in her new found fame. In today’s episode, we hear from a seasoned mom of four grown kids and all that God has taught her along the way.She is so honest about her faith and her doubts which is so refreshing. She is also honest about how long she wanted to fix the autism out of Tanner. She provided invaluable wisdom to let go of control sooner. And to enjoy the exact child God gave to each of us. She shared that she’s thankful God didn’t answer her prayers to take the autism away. Join us for the next 9 weeks and don’t forget to grab a journal and take notes from these wise mommas. What a gift!Enjoy!Courtney (10:49) Acceptance and Letting Go(16:42) Trusting God's Plan for Our Children(18:40) The Power of Maternal Instincts(21:11) Navigating Sibling Dynamics in Special Needs Families(22:00) Fostering Compassion and Understanding Among Siblings(28:38) Transitioning to the Empty Nest Stage(31:08) Faith and Trust in Parenting JourneysConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with NicciConnect with TannerTalk To Me, Sis podcastChristian Parenting productsMarriage Simplified Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Guess who’s back? My dear friend Dana Sheheane. I wanted to get super practical as we end this school year with “best of parenting one-liners.” What one-liners do you remember from your childhood? What works in your house?We go rapid fire today and cover many topics - but you will get a taste of how we tried to keep respect a priority in our homes. We also talk about the new wave of “gentle parenting” and get honest about our concerns for this approach. As a children’s pastor, Dana sees many kids that have not learned about authority and some simple obedience. Let us know what you think!I hope this episode is practically helpful for you - and you get some ideas on how to incorporate some helpful little phrases. We compiled the list HERE (insert link) for you to print - and be sure to add your own. On social media this week, we will give you space to do that and we want to hear what’s working in your home. Of course, the most effective and most lasting one liners you can ever use can be found in God’s word. Don’t forget to have scripture in your home and try to memorize as you go. You can find ABC Scripture Cards at Cleerely Stated - these are the updated versions of the cards I created for my kids when they were young. Looking back, I’m so glad these truths were hidden in their hearts from an early age.Congratulations on the end of the school year mommas - you did it!Love,Courtney (02:50) Summer Plans and Community Engagement(06:00) Health Updates and Family Challenges(12:09) Parenting Insights and One-Liners(21:28) Navigating Disappointment and Attitude(22:34) Encouraging Independence in Problem-Solving(23:58) Instilling Values of Love and Acceptance(24:26) Awareness and Responsibility in Life(25:09) Teaching Accountability and Contribution(26:09) Raising Considerate and Kind Individuals(27:16) Understanding Self-Worth Beyond Appearance(28:21) Teamwork and Shared Responsibilities(29:40) Learning from Mistakes and Growth(30:57) The Importance of Punctuality and Respect(32:01) Assuming Positive Intent in Relationships(34:37) Planning and Responsibility in Adulthood(36:39) Setting Boundaries and Respecting No(37:10) The Power of Kindness and Empathy(41:31) Intentional Prayer and Connection with ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Link to one-liners PDFDana’s first episode on PTMMountain Brook Community ChurchConnect with DanaABC Scripture CardsScripture Affirmation CardsNoteworthy PrayersNoteworthy KidsChristian Parenting productsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne” (Hebrews 12:2 NLT)We have spent the last few months together praying for our kids to live a life of faith. We have prayed that they would know, love, follow, and share the good news of Jesus. Might I encourage you to continue in these prayers? Our job as a praying parent does not end just because this journal ends.Prayer is the very best gift you can give your kids and the only one that will last forever. Keep doing the hard and holy work of raising your kids in the faith, your work is not in vain and it does not go unnoticed. Continue to pray for your kids to have a lasting faith in Jesus and that they will keep their eyes on him, working to expand his kingdom until the end of their journey when they hear the Lord say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Remember, a life of faith is not linear. Your faith story has ups and downs and your kids’ faith stories will have ups and downs, too. So no matter where your kids currently are or will be in their faith journey, do not lose hope. Remember that God is sovereign over all things—including the lives of your kids. He loves your kids even more than you do and he knows how their stories will go.Together, let’s make it our mission to pray for the next generation to live full lives of lasting faith and make a big impact in the world for God’s kingdom as they share with others what he has done in their lives Father God, thank you for the opportunity to raise the child/children you have given me. Thank you for the gift of communicating with you through prayer. I lift up ________ to you and pray that they will live a full life of faith. Lord, in all the ups and downs of their life, may they continue to keep their eyes on you. May they know how much you love them and may they love you back wholeheartedly. Wrap your arms tightly around them all the days of their life. You know ________’s story and I trust you with it. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode was phenomenal! I think it’s my favorite episode since I started with Pardon The Mess and I’m praying this one goes far and wide. I have to shake my head that I get to talk to people that I admire so much. Lee Strobel is a renowned investigative journalist, former atheist, best selling author - who has spent his career diving into evidence that God is real.In this conversation, we chat about the supernatural realm. We dive into demons, angels, deathbed visions and much more. I shared my fear about Satan and my skepticism that rises up in this area. I pray that this meets you in your doubts and questions and will give you some opportunities to chat with your atheist friends about God. I also pray this one ignites your faith in a new way.My favorite part is at the end when we talk about parenting and the supernatural realm. How do we talk about our kids’ doubts and questions about faith? He shares about a nightly rhythm he had with his kids - to give them a regular and safe space to ponder their faith.Enjoy!Courtney (02:56) Exploring the Supernatural(06:04) Experiences of Miracles and Healing(09:05) The Role of Faith and Skepticism(11:58) Dreams and Encounters with the Divine(14:57) Understanding Demonic Influence(17:11) Demonic Encounters and Exorcisms(20:34) The Tension of Faith and Skepticism(24:24) Navigating the Supernatural in Christianity(28:41) Teaching Kids About the SupernaturalConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Lee StrobelThe Case for ChristSeeing The Supernatural Marriage SimplifiedNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Then I heard the Lord asking, ‘Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?’ I said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’” (Isaiah 6:8 NLT)We don’t know what God will call our kids to do in their lives, but we do know that he won’t call them to sit still. He will not call them to keep the good news to themselves. Whatever their profession looks like, wherever they live, whatever their interests are, or who their friends are, God will call our kids to tell people about Jesus! We are God’s first plan for spreading the gospel—he relies on his kids to be faithful to their calling to go for him. When God says go, we don’t say no, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable! Since God will call our kids to share their faith, let’s raise them to respond confidently and go boldly into the situation they are called and say, “This is who I was before I met Jesus and this is who I am now.” This week let’s pray that when God calls our kids, they will go. Jesus, I pray that ___________ will respond to your call to go and make disciples confidently and boldly. May they tell others about the amazing things you have done in their lives every day. May they be so in awe of your kindness that they can’t help but share your good news. And when they do share about you, Lord, may they do so lovingly and gracefully. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Can you imagine a world where your kids had room to be kids? Where they didn’t hate learning? Where they learned the Bible, core subjects and still had time to play and create and travel? Homeschooling has come so far over the years. As the culture changes and gets further from Jesus and biblical teachings - I think it’s important to pause and just consider if this could be an option for your family. However, we all carry myths about homeschooling. Whether it’s the idea that they won’t be socialized or that moms can’t have a job outside of this or that we have to be good in all subjects - let’s debunk those together. I am delighted to learn from Lyndsey Mimnagh with Treehouse Schoolhouse in this episode. She is so passionate about this style of education and helps break down the myths and the realities. My favorite part is when she shares about the benefits she is seeing in her children and their family culture. Don’t let fear or insecurity talk you out of something God is nudging you to try! Take a listen and pray on the next steps for your children and their schooling. Just one step. Don’t believe the lie that you have to make that decision when they are toddlers and never change course. Enjoy!Courtney (03:000 The Joys of Camping and Family Adventures(05:55) The Journey into Homeschooling(08:52) Debunking Myths About Homeschooling(11:56) Socialization in Homeschooling(14:51) The Role of Parents in Homeschooling(17:05) The Joy of Learning at Home(21:30) Balancing Homeschooling and Personal Life(22:48) Creating Resources for Homeschooling(25:01) Rooted in Faith: A Curriculum for Families(27:04) Encouragement for Hesitant Parents(29:10) Navigating Independence in Parenting(31:14) Practical Tips for Daily LifeConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Lyndsey at Treehouse Schoolhouse (CODE: PARDONTHEMESS15 = 15% OFF anything in her store) Rooted - Family Bible Curriculum Treehouse Book ClubMarriage SimplifiedPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all’” (Mark 9:35)We all want our kids to be leaders in their communities now and in the future. As followers of Jesus, we are called to see ourselves last instead of first. In fact, the Bible tells us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. This means we lead not by positioning ourselves well, but by seeing the needs of others and meeting those needs with our giftings and resources. When we serve and love others in this way, we serve and love God. This week, let’s pray that our kids become humble servant leaders in their communities to make a big impact on God’s kingdom. Let’s pray that they are the first to help when they see others in need and that they reflect Christ’s gentleness, mercy, and willingness to sacrificially serve and share with others.Jesus, help us to lead like you do. May ______________ set aside their desire for power and accolades and serve out of a heart for you and your kingdom. I pray that they continue to make a difference in their community because of the example of service that you give us. May their heart stay humble and focused on you. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadomattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy