

A Gay and A NonGay
James Barr and Dan Hudson
In a time where we're all threatened by a rhetoric of hate from the people in power; A Gay And A NonGay challenges our differences. No matter who you are, or what you're into, gay's and nongay's can & should be friends.'Highly Recommended' Guardian'One of the most fundamentally kind and funny podcasts in Britain' RadioTimes'A hilarious take on love, friendship and sex' TimeOutAn independent podcast from James Barr (@imjamesbarr) and Dan Hudson (@DanHudson). Find us on Insta, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook @gaynongayGet bonus content on Patreon, with our super exclusive fan feed
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 16, 2025 • 27min
Staying Sober In The LGBTQ+ Community with Frankie Grande
We have pop royalty on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay as James and Dan are joined by actor, singer and famous brother Frankie Grande!
Frankie's new album Hotel Rock Bottom is out now and covers everything from gay joy to his journey to sobriety.
In this conversation, James, Dan and Frankie talk about sobriety in the gay community, the evolving nature of Pride and queer representation and the significance of chosen family.
Frankie also shares amusing anecdotes from his life, including his thoughts on the viral 'Fire Island Chicken Tender' incident and his love for space dance rock pop music.
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Jul 2, 2025 • 35min
Why Do So Many Men Have No Mates? with Max Dickins
On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are joined by author, comedian and honorary sixth straight guest, Max Dickins!
Max opens up about the inspiration behind his brilliant book Billy No-Mates — a deep-dive into male friendship sparked by the realisation he had no one to ask to be his best man. Together, they unpack the complexities of male friendships, masculinity, vulnerability, and why so many straight men are stuck in a “friendship recession”.
The trio get hilariously real about everything from stag do admin to homophobic hang-ups around hugging, going for dinner (too gay?), and why Nando’s is apparently the safest middle ground.
Plus, James shares his theory around why platonic love after heartbreak might just be more romantic than romance itself.
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Jun 25, 2025 • 36min
Fighting HIV Stigma with Richard Angell
We’re joined by Richard Angell, OBE and Chief Executive of the Terrence Higgins Trust, on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
The Terrence Higgins Trust is at the forefront of the fight against HIV, striving for a future where there are no new cases of HIV, where people living with HIV get the support they need and there is good sexual health for all.
Richard joins James and Dan to talk about the ongoing fight against HIV and the stigma that still surrounds it.
From the legacy of Terrence Higgins, the first known person in the UK to die of AIDS, to the urgent need for better sex education for queer men. Richard shares powerful insights and reflects on the challenges posed by formal faith institutions and how we can push for a more inclusive future.
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Jun 18, 2025 • 23min
Love Yourself Before You Love Another
If you can't love yourself, how can you love anybody else? On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are diving into the importance of self-love this Pride season.
From exploring the transactional nature of relationships to discussing how to set expectations and the realities of compromise - we're coming to the realisation that love can look different, and being true to yourself through all of this self-discovery is of paramount importance.
Happy Pride and we'll see you next week for more profound thoughts?!
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Jun 11, 2025 • 34min
What Is The Male Equivalent of Brunch? with Elf Lyons
We’re joined by the award winning Elf Lyons on this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
She has literally been listed as one of the 50 Funniest Comedians of the 21st Century by The Telegraph, one of the ’20 Names of Now’ by British Vogue and is a multi-Edinburgh Fringe award winner – so you know we’ve got a good one!
James, Dan and Elf talk about tackling trauma through comedy, embracing weirdness, flat earth theories, finding comfort in your identity and… what is the male equivalent of brunch?
All of these hard-hitting questions tackled without fear!
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Jun 4, 2025 • 18min
From Awards Ceremonies to Marathons!
On this week’s episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are having a long overdue catch-up to chat about the recent goings on in their lives.
From running marathons… to walking through tunnels, and the awkwardness of attending awards ceremonies. James and Dan also reflect on winning the Webby Award for Independent Podcast and give an inside peak into the celebrations!
We’ll be back next week with your regularly scheduled programming!
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May 21, 2025 • 31min
Gay Bars, Ghosts & Politics with Jeremy Atherton Lin
Gay love stories? We're here for them - especially when they speak to a broader message about the world we live in. Our guest on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay is an expert in this field.
Jeremy Atherton Lin is the author of the National Book Critics Circle Award winner Gay Bar: Why We Went Out. His essays have appeared in the Times Literary Supplement and the Yale Review, for which he was a finalist for the National Magazine Award.
His new book is Deep House, a queer love story set in an era when gay couples faced significant legal and societal challenges. It is released on June 5th.
On this weeks episode, James, Dan and Jeremy talk about the importance of gay bars, the significance of the historical and political narratives in the new book, and the resilience and creativity of the queer community.
Jeremy shares insights about his relationship, the evolution of LGBTQ rights, and the ongoing fight for equality.
Order Deep House now from all good bookstores: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/455205/deep-house-by-lin-jeremy-atherton/9780241629789
Follow A Gay & A NonGay
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May 14, 2025 • 15min
We Won A Webby Award!
SEE US LIVE! We're doing a live show at the Kings Head Theatre in London on May 23rd. Visit wizardradio.lnk.to/tickets for tickets now.
Yes... you read that right! A Gay And A NonGay officially won the Webby for Best Indie Podcast and it's all because of you, our amazing listeners. Please Note - this episode was recorded before the big win, so we still to talk about being nominated.
On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan discuss the idea of gay people eating pot noodles. This inevitably leads to Dan's ongoing attempt to perfect his Shih Tzu lawyer joke...
We'll be back next week with another award winning episode of the podcast!
Follow A Gay & A NonGay
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May 7, 2025 • 19min
Letters To My Younger Queer Self with Daniel Harding
If you could tell your younger self anything... what would you say?
That's the question that journalist Daniel Harding is answering with his new book Letters To My Younger Queer Self, which includes letters written by the likes of comedian Suzi Ruffell, Nadia Whittome MP, Olympic gymnast Andrew Stamp, TV personality Ella Morgan and more as they reflect on their growth of self-acceptance and the human spirit.
On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are joined by... another Dan... as they talk about the importance of understanding diverse journeys within the queer community, dealing with judgement and the healing process shared through Dan's new book.
Follow A Gay & A NonGay
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Apr 30, 2025 • 21min
Gay Love IRL vs Incest On The White Lotus
Does gay love always need to be shown as a weird power play in the media? Well, when major TV shows like The White Lotus portray a major gay romance as... keeping it in the family... these are the questions we're left asking!
On this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James & Dan talk about the scene that has been on everyone's lips and reflect on their feelings.
Later in the episode, we hear about Dan's story of his late mother's breast cancer treatment. Highlighting a severe lack of awareness about the scandal, James & Dan talk about the story and the role that attention can play in changing policy.
Follow A Gay & A NonGay
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YouTube: @gaynongay
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Email Us: us@gaynongay.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices