A Gay and A NonGay

James Barr and Dan Hudson
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Oct 29, 2025 • 14min

When Self-Love Becomes Too Much

James and Dan are back with another chaotic, hilarious episode of A Gay and A NonGay! This week, Dan’s lost his phone — and apparently his sanity — leading to a deep dive into how impossible modern life is without one (and how long James can last without rolling his eyes). From there, the pair spiral into a debate about narcissism — is it always a bad thing, or can a little self-love actually be healthy? James insists it’s a green flag, Dan isn’t so sure, and somewhere between poppers, entitlement, and empathy, they try to work out what the line really is between confidence and arrogance. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 22, 2025 • 24min

The Curious Case of Gay Dave

Dan and James are back with more A Gay And A NonGay for a wide-ranging conversation, starting with stereotypes! Is there such thing as a gay name and a straight name? And what's up with straight men putting their hands down their trousers? Plus, they talk about the issue of creatively navigating first dates without relying on consuming alcohol and share their experiences attending Solihull Pride. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 15, 2025 • 17min

Straight Men Behaving Badly...

Why is it that straight men can seemingly never behave themselves in public? That's the discussion on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay! James and Dan are looking at two similarly gross incidents: a concert in New York and a burlesque show in Edinburgh, at both men were ejected because they couldn't keep their thing in their pants. In a debate that ranges from the outrageous to the somewhat facetious, our co-hosts discuss everything from consent to the comparisons between different types of addictions, and whether society needs to be more understanding or whether a line must be drawn. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 8, 2025 • 18min

Pride, Refugees & The Politics Of Britishness

We're getting political on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay! Rylan’s controversial comments on immigration - the episode spirals into a fiery debate about misinformation, far-right rhetoric and the way everyday conversations in the UK are shaped by fear rather than facts. From England flags mysteriously appearing on lampposts to Pride merch being vandalised, James and Dan unpack what it really means to be "proud" of your country — and how queer and refugee communities get caught in the crossfire. Plus, the pair take a typically chaotic detour into whether Grindr is basically the Wild West of the internet. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 24, 2025 • 27min

Sharing Your Location With A Partner? Think Again!

We're back with a new episode of A Gay And A NonGay! James and Dan are diving into the age-old relationship question: should you share your location with your partner? Dan reveals he doesn't share his location with his girlfriend of 14 years (despite her sharing hers with him)... which James has some strong opinions about! Dan also updates on his viral campaign to rename Birmingham Airport after the late Ozzy Osbourne and we explore the power of public petitions! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 10, 2025 • 32min

Is Liking Pop Music Performative?

James and Dan are back with another hilarious deep dive into gay and non-gay life! Kicking off with a listener question about what gay people really listen to at the gym, things quickly spiral into a heated debate about whether liking Kylie or Madonna is performative — and whether James is secretly pretending to love Drag Race. From there, we head to the rugby, where James (fuelled by Sauvignon Blanc) and Dan find themselves surrounded by rainbow flags, drag queens... and straight lads... discovering how queer joy can transform even the most “blokey” of spaces. Along the way, we get into electric car nightmares, mosh pits at Download Festival and the unexpected shame of eating alone with a newspaper. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 3, 2025 • 11min

Banning Songs At A Wedding?!

James & Dan's Webby Award has finally arrived... and it's going to cost HOW MUCH to get a second one!? They'll be sharing for now! On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James spills the tea about his recent wedding DJ gig that broke the internet because of the banned songs list he was sent! Is this purely straight behaviour? Who has the better taste in music (gays or non-gays)? And should James get into DJing more weddings? All is contained herewithin! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Aug 27, 2025 • 38min

The Cost of Inauthenticity with Rich Clarke

Get ready for a raw and honest conversation on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, as James & Dan are joined by broadcaster Rich Clarke to talk about being gay in the public eye. Rich opens up about his decades-long struggle with authenticity - and the breakdown that changed everything. He talks about working on Capital FM in the 2010s and being told he was "too gay"... and ultimately the conversations that led to the deterioration of his mental health. James, Dan and Rich talk about the psychological cost of inauthenticity, media-enforced heteronormativity in the 2010s, and Rich's journey from shame to acceptance. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Aug 20, 2025 • 32min

Regional Gays & Lavender Marriages

We're here for another Summer episode of A Gay And A NonGay. With James at Edinburgh Fringe, we're focusing on the really big questions in life... So, after we debate killing a fly or not, James & Dan are talking about regional gays (who even are they?!), why lavender marriages are making a comeback and the bizarre rules around who gets financial support in relationships. James questions why we don’t just marry our friends, while Dan admits he’d rather be “unstable” than marry a bloke for tax breaks. Plus, the debate gets heated! Maybe attractive people do have it better after all... Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Aug 13, 2025 • 28min

Wearing A Rucksack With Both Straps

We have our first guest-free episode of A Gay And A NonGay in ages! We're diving into everything from backpack etiquette to Oasis concerts. We kick off with a burning question from their straightest friend: Why did we all believe that wearing a rucksack with both straps was gay? Queue a debate about bags, masculinity and school-era social dynamics. Dan also shares his incredible experience at the Oasis reunion concert, leading to a discussion about whether massive concerts like these serve as "straight pride". The episode explores themes of accountability, the complexity of community dynamic and the Coldplay concert incident that had everyone talking. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gaynongay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gaynongay.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us@gaynongay.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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