The Great Man Within

#21: Guys say a lot of stuff about their bedroom escapades when they’re around their buddies. Most of it’s exaggerated, doctored up for laughs or fundamentally edited for saving face. How about a little locker room talk…but if we were actually telling the truth? In this episode, Bryan and I open up about the mishaps, miscues and untimely mr. softies from our (not-so-prolific) love lives…   Why Do Men Classify Sex as a “Performance?”: You don’t often hear women talking about sex as a “performance,” so why do we? We unpack the reasons why, and highlight why “performing” gets in the way of having amazing sex with your partner. How to Handle Going Soft: Have you ever gotten so in your head that you went softer than a Rachel McAdams flick? How to have a conversation with your partner, in the moment, that allows you short-circuit the shame spiral. The Two Words Never Say to a Man Amidst a “Performance Issue.” Why we coach women to forever strike “what’s wrong” from their vocabulary when their man isn’t in full-on beast mode. DQ’s Inability to Get It Up. My painfully candid story about not being able to get it up, how I was confronted with the disappointed “what’s wrong” response from my partner, and how the situation took a 180 degree turn into an amazing experience. The Feux-gasm. Bryan digs the dirt on faking orgasm in his earlier years. Yes, as I learned, a fake male orgasm is apparently possible. I ask the tough questions on how (and why the hell) he pulled it off. The 3 Reasons Men Take ED Pills. According to a doctor, only two of the reasons are actually ED related.  The 3 Rungs of the Ladder of Sexual Performance. We introduce a simple mental model to help you understand how deep into “performing” (vs. connecting) you may be, and how to navigate to higher ground. An excellent complement to this episode is last week’s interview with Dr. Amy B Killen, an anti-aging and regenerative medicine doctor who went into all matters of physical dick health for today, tomorrow and decades into the future.   To listen to Man Amongst Men Episode #20 with Dr. Amy: Click Here

#20: This is your episode for all things that concern the physical health of your dick today, tomorrow and the many decades to come. Dr. Amy B Killen is a physician of anti-aging and regenerative medicine and an outspoken champion of proactive sexual health.  Some of the highest-performing men in the world have come to her for proactive treatments for sexual health, including:  Dave Asprey, Founder and CEO of Bulletproof and author of NY Times best-seller The Bulletproof Diet Vishen Lakhiani, CEO of Mindvalley and author of NY Times best-seller Code of the Extraordinary Mind Ben Greenfield, CEO of KION supplements, anti-aging maniac and widely considered to be one of the world’s top bio-hackers  In this episode: A 101 overview on Testosterone and how it effects your libido Why you should take proactive steps to improve your sexual health (even if you’re currently healthy as a horse) Practical habits and practices to keep your dick strong Unveiling the #1 cause of (physical) erectile dysfunction How declining dick strength might actually be a sign forewarning you of potential future heart issues The science behind lifestyle habits (like sleep and stress) and how they can enhance – or erode – sexual health Why men shouldn’t jump to “the pills” (Viagra, Cialis) before understanding all of their natural options for improving sexual health Understanding cutting-edge technologies like GAINSWave that blast your dick with sound waves and open the blood chambers for stronger erections Reviewing “The P-Shot,” a stem-cell injection in the penis that purportedly regenerates sensitivity and erection strength Why regularly using Listerine might eventually kill your erections How to measure your dick, according to a doctor Amy is also a wife, mother of three and a wonderful woman who’s a personal friend to both Bryan and I. Enjoy this light-hearted and informative deep dive on optimizing your sexual health. 

#19: Dr. David Ley is the clinical psychologist I wish I had during my 4 years of sex addicts anonymous recovery. He swears like a sailor and gives extremely well-researched and practical guidance about the most relevant issues to men: Porn. How to approach the porn conversation with your partner in a way she feels safe and you don’t feel judged. Fantasies. How to negotiate sexual desires and accommodation in your relationships. Desire for Others. Why “The Disney Myth” of meeting “The One” and your desires for other partners will go away is BS…and how to navigate that while honoring your partner.   He’s written 3 provocative books: 1.  Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure 2. The Myth of Sex Addiction* *If you’re an Esther Perel fan, she said this was one of the most influential books for her in helping understand 3. Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them   Some of my favorite quotes:  “The person who wants sex least controls the frequency of sex in a relationship. Both parties need to learn how to negotiate for sexual accommodation.” “The people who are struggling with guilt, secrecy and shame around sex…overwhelmingly are struggling with a moral conflict between the sex that they want, and the sex they were taught was ok.”  “Men have a limited range of coping skills to deal with feelings of anxiety. Often its sexuality and drinking.” “We only hear about male sexuality when they are in trouble. We know far more about Donald Trump’s sex life than we do Barack Obama’s. “As the joke goes, a sex addict is anyone who has more sex than their therapist.” “Novelty is really a significant part of sexual arousal. Porn gives men that.” “The healthiest sexual role model is one that incorporates responsible, conscious mindful sexuality, and recognizes and resists the power of shame.   Gentlemen, if you’re committed to creating better sexual experiences for yourself and your partner, listen to this treasure trove of information from Dr. Ley. Ladies, if you’re seeking to understand the conditioning and behavior of the men in your life (including men-in-training) give this a listen.

#18: Gina DiNapoli is one of New York City’s fastest-rising celebrity fitness instructors. She exploded onto the scene in early 2018 after winning an American Idol-esque open tryout for instructors in NYC’s most exclusive fitness club – Equinox. She developed her own signature kickboxing program – Jabs by Gina – which has taken off like a supernova. Her community of “Jabbers” are fiercely loyal and active. Now, in a city with infinite workout classes, Gina’s sell out as quickly as a Beyoncé concert (1 second after online registration opens, no joke). She’s become so popular that at the age of 23, Equinox selected her as 1 of 4 national brand ambassadors to represent the present and future direction of their club. Gina ran a private workout for Bryan and me and put us through the gauntlet (Bryan nearly blacked out afterwards). But after only one session, she managed to lead two clumsy guys to get synchronized in kickboxing choreography. That’s the mark of a skilled instructor. What we love about Gina is that she’s a magnet for empowered, supportive women who get shit done. In this episode, Gina taught us: • Grabbing The Impossible Through Tenacious, Aligned Action: How Gina tenaciously created her own position at the most exclusive fitness club with zero formal training and after facing multiple rejections • Developing a Rabid Followership: How Gina sells out her classes in 1 second and why some of her followers take up to 3 of her classes per day • Replacing Skinny with Strong: How Gina’s gotten her followers to shift from “I want to be skinny” to “I want to feel strong and confident.” Gentlemen, one of our intentions is to regularly expose you to powerful women. In particular, women who lead communities of other women. Why? Because what goes on inside of these communities are typically a mystery to men…and this is where all the gold is. Enjoy the Gina DiNapoli interview, our first of many powerful women to come.

#17: Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan. In a time when we can’t discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl’s influence. He’s collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia. The central question that has driven his life: “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?” Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe. He’s also a musician (his #1 love) who’s played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships. He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy. We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast. In Part #3: Why most interest groups – like Black Lives Matter – don’t make much progress Daryl’s Contentious Exchange with Black Lives Matter Leaders Almost Led to Blows (from the documentary) How Daryl Davis Thinks Donald Trump is the Best Thing That Happened to this Country Daryl’s candid thoughts on Black Lives Matter Daryl’s final words of wisdom on how to create change in those who disagree with or even hate you

#16: Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan. In a time when we can’t discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl’s influence. He’s collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia. The central question that has driven his life: “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?” Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe. He’s also a musician (his #1 love) who’s played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships. He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy. We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast. In Part #2: Daryl lends his music tour bus to the Klan How Daryl manages not to take hate personally Fear is the most powerful tool known to man (and how to wield it for good change) How the KKK is rebranding to avoid stigma and build membership What the media knows about white supremacist positioning, but won’t tell you How Rock N Roll and white people put Barack Obama into office The healing and unifying power of music

#15: Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan. In a time when we can’t discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl’s influence. He’s collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia. The central question that has driven his life: “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?” Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe. He’s also a musician (his #1 love) who’s played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships. He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy. We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast. In Part #1: Daryl’s first encounter with racism as a 10 year old Cub Scout Daryl’s first (friendly) encounter with a Klansmen Daryl knows more KKK history than most of the KKK Daryl gives the overview, hierarchy and national structure of the KKK Daryl arranges a covert meeting with Maryland’s Imperial Wizard – Roger Kelly

#14: Fellas, we've taken your toughest questions about dating, cultivating passionate sex during marriage and navigating masculinity in the #MeToo era and solicited the wisdom of women experts, including: A prominent matchmaker, an executive coach to women and a polyamorous poet. We've gone straight to the source, and they've answered questions like: "What do I do when my wife keeps turning me down for sex?" "Why are women so confusing...saying they want me to be a MAN one minute and sensitive the next?" "How do I remain persistent, assertive and masculine during the #MeToo era" In this episode: The 2 feelings every woman want their man to provide...that seem to be contradictory and confusing to men...and how to become one of the man amongst men who knows how to provide both. Amy Van Doran, a Matchmaker who has conducted 7,000 candidate interviews over 10 years, tells us the 1 feeling women are seeking on the first date...and why what makes a man great at work makes them suck on a date. Lauren Baptiste, an executive coach to women, teaches us that stress hormones cannibalize a woman's sex hormones...and gives us 4 ways to becoming a magician at reducing your partner's stress.

#13: Your morning routine determines the quality of the 16, 17, 18 hours that follow. Your morning routine is like the mental and emotional outfit you put on first thing and wear all-day. Yet most people have never intentionally designed their morning routine to set them up for the day ahead. If your morning routine is rushed, buried in emails and stressful...what energy do you think you're bringing to the rest of the day that follows? Bryan and Dominick dissect the morning routines of 3 of the most productive people - Jeff Bezos, Tim Ferriss and Stephen King - and why the start to their day is so essential to the power and peace of mind they bring to the rest of their waking hours. Dominick and Bryan share the evolution of their morning routines - from Frosted Flakes and Sportscenter in their 20s to Meditation, Journaling and Cold Showers in their 30s. Finally, Dominick and Bryan equip you with 11 ideas to design and execute your morning routine.

#12: Do you save photos of past lovers...even when you're entering another relationship? Are you still social media "friends" with old lovers...without your current partner's knowledge? Do you "follow" women on social media you secretly desire...without your partner's knowledge? In our conversations with men, many answer YES to some or all of the above. We've come to find it's not with malicious intent, rather a lack of awareness that any of these behaviors may be affecting their current relationships. Dominick and Bryan open the kimono of their lives and share candidly on these exact topics: Bryan wrestles with forever deleting a stash of 10 years worth of pictures of past lovers as his new relationship gets serious Dominick trashes 15 years worth of porn, videos, pictures of past lovers during his first month in Sex Addicts Anonymous recovery...which felt like putting down a trusted friend (like Old Yeller!) Dominick is surprised to learn a woman kept pictures of him during her committed relationship We've never had so much fun recording an episode as this one...enjoy!