A Jaded Gay

Gay men sometimes shift between different modes of expression, including language, behavior, or mannerisms, to navigate between their authentic identity and societal expectations or contexts related to their sexual orientation. Known as code-switching, this practice can reinforce societal norms that marginalize certain linguistic or cultural expressions, leading us to suppress our authentic identities and perpetuating a sense of disconnection or internal conflict.In this episode, we’re taking a look into the intricate history of code-switching, how it manifests within the LGBTQ+ community, and ways we can cultivate an inclusive environment, where authenticity thrives and the necessity to code-switch diminishes.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 10. Out in the WorkplaceListen to Episode 85. Boundaries: How to Understand and Set ThemAdditional Resources:Code-Switching Definition (Merriam-Webster)Code-Switching (Britannica)Sociolinguistics (Britannica)BetterUpWhat is Code Switching and How Does It Impact Teams?Code-Switching: What Does It Mean and Why Do People Do It?Code Switching: Exploring the Types & ImpactRedditors Sound Off On ‘Gay Voice’ and Whether They Code-SwitchThe Exhausting Work of LGBTQ Code-SwitchingGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Boundaries are essential guidelines, defining the limits of acceptable behavior and establishing a framework of respect and mutual understanding. But due to societal pressures, stereotypes, and the historical stigmatization of non-heteronormative relationships, some gay men may exhibit people-pleasing tendencies, which makes it challenging to implement boundaries and contributes to feelings of isolation and a reluctance to assert personal limits.In this episode, we’re navigating the complex world of boundaries, addressing the unique challenges gay men may face in setting and maintaining them, and offering insights on identifying and establishing personal boundaries for more authentic and fulfilling interpersonal relationships.Additional Resources:Why Personal Boundaries Are Important and How to Set ThemA Quick Guide for Gay Men Who Want to Set Better BoundariesGot Boundaries? Here's the Top 4 Boundary Struggles Only LGBTQ+ Folks Will UnderstandHow to Figure Out Your BoundariesGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Happy Holidays, my LGBTQuties! As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes, exploring topics such as sobriety, conversion therapy, media representation, and more!Additional Resources:59. Say Bye Bye Bye to Bi Erasure (with Sam McClain)62. Let Go of Your Religious Trauma (with Eric Feltes)64. 40 Single Gay (with Jonathan Lee)66. Shoot Your Shot on Archer (with Michael Kaye)72. Recovering from Recovery (with Adam Fitzgerald)75. Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men (with Tate Barkley)76. Finally Free (with Seth Showalter)80. Queer Haunts: Happy Halloween (with Ralph Anthony)Get Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes, exploring topics such as allyship, relationships, finding our community, and more!Additional Resources:16. Being an Ally (with Cheyenne Filipczyk)39. We Are Family: Part 1 (with Michelle Loveless)40. We Are Family: Part 2 (with Amy Loveless)43. Surviving a Breakup (with Sara Sabatino)45. Feeling Lonely in a Relationship? (with Jordan Nofziger)50. Self-Love Tough Love (with Tillie Lee)52. Gayming: Level Up Your Sense of Community (with Jonathan Steele)54. Love in the Third Degree (with Eric Praniewicz)Get Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Gay men tend to grapple with complex feelings about body image, influenced by societal ideals that often emphasize a lean and muscular physique. As a result, gay gym culture is often marked by a complex interplay of such body standards, which can both motivate and challenge individuals within the community to base their self-perception on chasing an idealized appearance.In this episode, we're exploring the intersection of gay culture and gym culture, along with how societal conceptions of masculinity on gay men's self-image and relationships can lead to feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and the pursuit of often unrealistic physical ideals.Additional Resources:32. Gay Men and Body ObsessionFitness CultureThe History of How the Modern Day Gym Came to BeWrestling and Weightlifting: The WWF and Fitness in the 1980sThe Evolution of San Francisco’s Gay Gym CultureYMCAWorking, Out19. The Queer History of Disco24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?Reported Effects of Masculine Ideals on Gay MenEating Disorder StatisticsGay Men and Body Image: What You Need to KnowIt’s Complicated: Exploring Why Gay Men Have Such a Unique Relationship with the GymThe Sweaty Homophobia of the GymGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

The mustache has traversed centuries, evolving from a symbol of prestige in ancient civilizations to a statement of rebellion in modern counterculture movements. In the 1960s and 1970s, it became an iconic symbol within the gay community, representing a form of self-expression, solidarity, and defiance against societal norms surrounding masculinity and sexuality.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the multifaceted history of the mustache, exploring its evolution as a symbol of masculinity, its significant sociosexual ties to the gay community in the 1960s and 1970s, and how it has created important conversations about men's health today.Additional Resources:Mustache vs. Moustache: Which is Correct?Mustache DefinitionMustachio DefinitionThe Statues of Rahotep and NofretThe Moustache: A Hairy HistoryWhy Peter the Great Established a Beard TaxAbout MovemberThe Mustache is Thriving. But What Does It Mean?A Sexual, Social and Political History of the MustacheCruisin’ With the Mustache Crew: Meet the Facial-Hair Style Taking Over Every Gay Bar in the CityOne Hairy Lip, a Mix of MessagesCastro CloneGay/Bi Men and Mustaches, a History in PhotosThe Rules of MovemberMovember DonationsGet Involved with MovemberGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Happy Halloween, my LGBTQuties! Previously, we discussed how queer themes have been depicted in horror for more than 250 years and that the genre has always been queer.In this episode, Ralph Anthony, host of the Scream Queer Podcast, joins us to dish on all things horror, determine which monsters are queer, and share a very spooky true-life horror story submitted by one of his listeners.Additional Resources:Listen to Scream Queer PodcastFollow Ralph Anthony on InstagramFollow Scream Queer Podcast on Instagram28. Gay HorrorGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Many gay men find solace and empowerment in spiritual practices like tarot, crystals, astrology, and witchcraft, as they offer a means of self-discovery and affirmation. Unlike modern organized religion, these ancient traditions provide a safe space for personal exploration, allowing individuals to connect with their inner selves and find strength in their unique identities.In this episode, we’re exploring the trend of embracing more spiritual beliefs and the parallels between queerness and various practices, including astrology, tarot, and witchcraft.Additional Resources:48. Plant Gays and Mindfulness LessonsLGBT Identification in U.S. Ticks Up to 7.1%Must Reads: How Millennials Replaced Religion with Astrology and CrystalsChani Nicholas Explains Why Queer People Love Astrology24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?So, Why Are Queer People So Interested in Astrology?19. The Queer History of DiscoThe Rise of Queer AstrologyQueer Tarot: A Brief Story of Meaning and HealingWhy Do Gay Men Love Witches?Exploring the Links Between Queer Culture and WitchcraftGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Ghosting has become an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in today's dating culture, reflecting a shift towards digital communication and a reluctance to confront uncomfortable conversations. For gay men, this can be attributed to the influence of hookup apps, a larger pool of potential partners, and societal pressures, leading to a higher likelihood of casual and transient interactions.In today’s episode, we’re discussing what ghosting is, how we can avoid being ghosted, and empowering self-care strategies for those who've experienced this common but often painful experience.Additional Resources:Ghosting (Definition)Ghosting (Psychology Today)Ghosting (Grammarist)Psychological Correlates of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults8 Reasons You’ve Been Ghosted15. Understanding Attachment StylesWhat Is Ghosting—and Why Is It So Rude?Survey Reveals ‘Ghosting’ Impacts 76% Of People Who Are Dating—Plus The States With The Biggest OffendersThe Mental Health Effects of GhostingLGBTQ Ghosting: Why We Do It and How to Deal With ItGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Coming out is a deeply personal and pivotal moment for LGBTQ+ individuals, encompassing the courageous act of sharing their authentic identity with others, fostering self-acceptance, and seeking understanding and validation.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the concept of “coming out” and National Coming Out Day, the importance of being our authentic selves, and how we can feel empowered in our decision to live openly.Additional Resources:Listen to My Coming Out StoryComing Out DefinitionThe History Behind Why We Say a Person 'Came Out of the Closet'Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male WorldThe Gay Metropolis: The Landmark History of Gay Life in AmericaA Brief History of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Social MovementsWhere Did the Phrase 'Come Out of the Closet' Come From?Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity51. ACT UP: Silence = DeathUnderstanding Sexual Orientation and HomosexualityThe Process of Coming OutStages in the Coming Out ProcessComing Out and Mental HealthComing Out is Good for Our Mental Health20 Things to Know Before You Come Out and How to Go About ItHow Do I Come Out?Why Do We Need National Coming Out Day?This is Why Coming Out is Important (Even After You've Come Out)Coming Out as LGBTQ+ in AdulthoodThe Coming Out HandbookGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch