A Jaded Gay

For years, society’s sense of body image has been negatively affected by standards that often perpetuate unrealistic ideals and contribute to the prevalence of negative body image perceptions. Some gay men grapple with an additional layer of body image issues, navigating societal expectations and stereotypes that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-consciousness about their physical appearance.In this episode, Matthew Simko, a style & lifestyle expert, joins us to dish on the importance of positivity within gay culture, plus-sized fashion tips, and how we can all learn to love our bodies at any size.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 32. Gay Men and Body Image ObsessionListen to Episode 82. Gay Gym CultureAdditional Resources:Visit Matthew's WebsiteFollow Matthew on InstagramGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

On Sunday, June 24, 1973, a gay bar in New Orleans was intentionally set ablaze, killing 32 people and injuring another 15. Fifty years later, despite ample evidence, no arrests have ever been made.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the tragic events of the UpStairs Lounge arson attack, the pervasive discrimination and homophobia evident in the aftermath, and renewed efforts to locate four of the unclaimed bodies of victims recklessly buried in an unmarked grave.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 61. The Pulse Nightclub ShootingListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsAdditional Resources:The UpStairs Lounge Arson Attack, New Orleans: 50 Years LaterUpstairs Lounge: Gay Culture & the Metropolitan Community Church50 Years After Deadly Up Stairs Lounge Fire: New Orleans LGBTQ+ Community Still Seeks AnswersUpstairs Lounge FireArson Attack on the UpStairs LoungeUpStairs Lounge Arson AttackMetropolitan Community Church of New OrleansThe Upstairs Lounge FireThe Upstairs Lounge Fire - Luther BoggsUpstairs Lounge Fire, 1973: 32 DeathsUpstairs Lounge Arson, 1973: AftermathThis Day in History: UpStairs Lounge Arson AttackAbout the UpStairs Lounge FireThe Up Stairs Lounge Arson: Thirty-Two Deaths in a New Orleans Gay Bar, June 24, 1973 by Clayton Delery-EdwardsUpstairs Lounge Fire, 1973: In MemoriamUpstairs Lounge Fire, 1973: News CoverageThe UpStairs Lounge Fire 50th AnniversaryA ‘Forgotten Tragedy’ At a New Orleans Gay Bar and a New Effort to Honor Victims’ RemainsUnknown VictimSupport the showGet Your Merch

Societal perceptions of masculinity are often rooted in traditional and restrictive norms, which can pressure gay men to conform to stereotypical ideals, leading to internalized homophobia, feelings of inadequacy, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Even within the queer community, ideals of masculinity and femininity can be at odds, creating a complex dynamic for gay men who are navigating their identity.In this episode, Erick DuPree, a literary anthropologist specializing in the intersection of literature and culture, joins us to explore societal concepts of masculinity, how it impacts gay men's sense of self, the importance of mindfulness in navigating our identity, and their anthology, Men & The Goddess, which explores male relationships with the divine feminine.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional AppealListen to Episode 11. Overcoming Internalized HomophobiaListen to Episode 82. Gay Gym CultureAdditional Resources:Learn More About Erick DuPreeFollow Erick DuPree on InstagramRead Men And The Goddess: An Anthology RevisitedRead Awaken To Mindfulness: Cultivating Daily Practice & WellbeingGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Daddy issues is a colloquial term often used to stigmatize psychological or emotional challenges that may arise in an individual's life due to a perceived absence, neglect, or strained relationship with their father. Some gay men may experience their fathers subtly distancing themselves as a form of rejection of their sexuality, which has the potential to negatively influence the way they learn to navigate and sustain lasting relationships between men.In this episode, we’re discussing the nuances of daddy issues, exploring their definition and manifestations, the distinct effects on gay men, featuring insightful perspectives from The Velvet Rage by Dr. Alan Downes, and exploring pathways to healing and navigating the complex terrain of daddy issues in the LGBTQ+ community.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your PerfectionismListen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 47. Say Goodbye to Abandonment IssuesListen to Episode 70. Good Grief: How to Cope with LossListen to Episode 71. Queer GriefListen to Episode 74. Unmask Your Trust IssuesAdditional Resources:Daddy Issues Definition (Dictionary.com)‘Daddy Issues’ and Their Impact on Adult RelationshipsWhat Are “Daddy Issues”?“Do I Have Daddy Issues?” Ask a TherapistRead The Velvet Rage by Dr. Alan DownsWhy is it so Difficult for Some Gay Men to Find a Partner?What Are 'Daddy Issues'?Yes, ‘Daddy Issues’ Are a Real Thing — Here’s How to DealDaddy Issues: The Age-Old Stigma Around Intergenerational RelationshipsGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Within the many letters of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, non-binary individuals embrace identities outside the traditional binary of male or female, challenging societal norms and fostering a more diverse understanding of gender. Often overlooked, non-binary visibility is crucial in dismantling stereotypes and building a more inclusive world where individuals of all gender identities can authentically express themselves while being recognized for their unique contributions.In this episode, Travis McMaster, public speaker and host of Caffeinated N’ Queer, joins us to share their gender identity awakening, the importance of non-binary visibility, and resources for those who are exploring their gender.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 08. Finding Your CommunityListen to Episode 59. Say Bye Bye Bye to Bi Erasure (with Sam McClain)Additional Resources:Follow Travis McMaster on InstagramFollow Travis McMaster on TwitterWatch Caffeinated N’ Queer on InstagramWatch Caffeinated N’ Queer on TikTokWatch Caffeinated N’ Queer on ThreadsWatch Caffeinated N’ Queer on FacebookLearn More About Alder Health ServicesFollow Alder Health Services on InstagramFollow Alder Health Services on FacebookGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Gay men sometimes shift between different modes of expression, including language, behavior, or mannerisms, to navigate between their authentic identity and societal expectations or contexts related to their sexual orientation. Known as code-switching, this practice can reinforce societal norms that marginalize certain linguistic or cultural expressions, leading us to suppress our authentic identities and perpetuating a sense of disconnection or internal conflict.In this episode, we’re taking a look into the intricate history of code-switching, how it manifests within the LGBTQ+ community, and ways we can cultivate an inclusive environment, where authenticity thrives and the necessity to code-switch diminishes.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 10. Out in the WorkplaceListen to Episode 85. Boundaries: How to Understand and Set ThemAdditional Resources:Code-Switching Definition (Merriam-Webster)Code-Switching (Britannica)Sociolinguistics (Britannica)BetterUpWhat is Code Switching and How Does It Impact Teams?Code-Switching: What Does It Mean and Why Do People Do It?Code Switching: Exploring the Types & ImpactRedditors Sound Off On ‘Gay Voice’ and Whether They Code-SwitchThe Exhausting Work of LGBTQ Code-SwitchingGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Boundaries are essential guidelines, defining the limits of acceptable behavior and establishing a framework of respect and mutual understanding. But due to societal pressures, stereotypes, and the historical stigmatization of non-heteronormative relationships, some gay men may exhibit people-pleasing tendencies, which makes it challenging to implement boundaries and contributes to feelings of isolation and a reluctance to assert personal limits.In this episode, we’re navigating the complex world of boundaries, addressing the unique challenges gay men may face in setting and maintaining them, and offering insights on identifying and establishing personal boundaries for more authentic and fulfilling interpersonal relationships.Additional Resources:Why Personal Boundaries Are Important and How to Set ThemA Quick Guide for Gay Men Who Want to Set Better BoundariesGot Boundaries? Here's the Top 4 Boundary Struggles Only LGBTQ+ Folks Will UnderstandHow to Figure Out Your BoundariesGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Happy Holidays, my LGBTQuties! As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes, exploring topics such as sobriety, conversion therapy, media representation, and more!Additional Resources:59. Say Bye Bye Bye to Bi Erasure (with Sam McClain)62. Let Go of Your Religious Trauma (with Eric Feltes)64. 40 Single Gay (with Jonathan Lee)66. Shoot Your Shot on Archer (with Michael Kaye)72. Recovering from Recovery (with Adam Fitzgerald)75. Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men (with Tate Barkley)76. Finally Free (with Seth Showalter)80. Queer Haunts: Happy Halloween (with Ralph Anthony)Get Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes, exploring topics such as allyship, relationships, finding our community, and more!Additional Resources:16. Being an Ally (with Cheyenne Filipczyk)39. We Are Family: Part 1 (with Michelle Loveless)40. We Are Family: Part 2 (with Amy Loveless)43. Surviving a Breakup (with Sara Sabatino)45. Feeling Lonely in a Relationship? (with Jordan Nofziger)50. Self-Love Tough Love (with Tillie Lee)52. Gayming: Level Up Your Sense of Community (with Jonathan Steele)54. Love in the Third Degree (with Eric Praniewicz)Get Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Gay men tend to grapple with complex feelings about body image, influenced by societal ideals that often emphasize a lean and muscular physique. As a result, gay gym culture is often marked by a complex interplay of such body standards, which can both motivate and challenge individuals within the community to base their self-perception on chasing an idealized appearance.In this episode, we're exploring the intersection of gay culture and gym culture, along with how societal conceptions of masculinity on gay men's self-image and relationships can lead to feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and the pursuit of often unrealistic physical ideals.Additional Resources:32. Gay Men and Body ObsessionFitness CultureThe History of How the Modern Day Gym Came to BeWrestling and Weightlifting: The WWF and Fitness in the 1980sThe Evolution of San Francisco’s Gay Gym CultureYMCAWorking, Out19. The Queer History of Disco24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?Reported Effects of Masculine Ideals on Gay MenEating Disorder StatisticsGay Men and Body Image: What You Need to KnowIt’s Complicated: Exploring Why Gay Men Have Such a Unique Relationship with the GymThe Sweaty Homophobia of the GymGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch