A Jaded Gay

In previous episodes, we discussed how gay men often found refuge in mafia-owned private bottle clubs, where they could drink and socialize without the fear of police raids or public hostility. These underground venues, while risky due to their illegal nature, offered a rare safe haven where gay men could express themselves more freely and form a sense of community away from the prying eyes of a largely unwelcoming society.In this episode, crime writer Chris Holcombe joins us to discuss how gay speakeasies emerged during the Prohibition era as secretive, underground venues where LGBTQ+ individuals could gather away from the scrutiny and persecution of mainstream society.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsAdditional Resources:Learn More About Chris HolcombeFollow Chris on InstagramSupport Chris on PatreonOrder the Hidden Gotham SeriesSubscribe to Chris’s Monthly EmailsGay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940Bulldaggers, Pansies, and Chocolate BabiesThree Plays: Sex / The Drag / The Pleasure ManThe Speakeasy Glossary – Queer Slang of the Prohibition EraSupport the showGet Your Merch

While playful putdowns and throwing shade have long been a celebrated form of humor and bonding among gay men, they can sometimes perpetuate cliques, exclusion, and toxic behaviors within the community. Not only does this behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes like the "bitchy queen" or "mean gay," but it also deepens divisions in an already marginalized community, reflecting the way we are often treated by the larger world.In this episode, we're exploring why mean gay behavior manifests, the impact it has on our community, and ways we can foster kindness and support among one another.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 34. GBF: Gay Best FriendListen to Episode 38. Learning to Accept KindnessListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other GaysAdditional Resources:The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community Is So Competitive10 Reasons Gay Men Are Hyper CompetitiveOp-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?Ask a Homo: Bitchy QueensWhen Does a Bitchy Queen Become Too Much?Gays Behaving BadlyCulture Slut: Dissecting the 'Mean Gays' TropeMatthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"Support the showGet Your Merch

Following the harm inflicted on the LGBTQ+ community under the Trump administration from 2017-2021, including attacks on transgender rights and the rollback of anti-discrimination protections, many fear what the new era of Trump may bring. However, it’s vital that we remain unified, support one another, and continue to advocate for equality to protect and expand the progress we’ve made.In this episode, previous guests join us to share their messages of hope and optimism for the future of the LGBTQ+ community as we brace for the challenges that will come with this administration.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 112. Project 2025Listen to Episode 122. A Queer Review of the Trump Administration (2017 – 2021)Additional Resources:Sign the Petition to Reject Project 2025Sign the Petition Urging Congress to Pass the Equality ActSupport the showGet Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes from 2024!Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 109. Queens Slayin', Haters Prayin': A Drag-tacular Showcase (with Bev, Philly’s Queen of Comedy)Listen to Episode 111. Opening Doors: Navigate the Real Estate Rainbow (with Ryan Windt)Listen to Episode 113. Advocate Your Ass Off (with Anthony Munger)Listen to Episode 115. Spectrums of Pride (with Max Korten)Listen to Episode 116 Rainbows Don’t Paint Themselves (with Jacoby Nordberg)Listen to Episode 117. Get Pop Cultured (with Carmine Davis)Listen to Episode 119. Turning the Page on Queer Book Bans (with Alexander Rigby)Listen to Episode 121. Unpack Your Gay Emotional Baggage (with Dr. Jason Durant)Listen to Episode 124. Queer Frights & New Media: Horror Beyond the Screen (with Bobby Torrez)Listen to Episode 126. Gay of the Dead: Unleashing Queer Horror (with Sean Abley)Listen to Episode 127. Gay Icons: The Queen of Pop (with Stefan Mreczko)Listen to Episode 129. The Gay Wellness Revolution (with Peter DeWitt)Listen to Episode 130. Pride in Motion: Inclusive Fitness and Body-Positive Coaching (with Roy Belzer)Support the showGet Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead.In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes from 2024!Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 87. Breaking the Binary (with Travis McMaster)Listen to Episode 89. Beyond the Brawn: Redefining Queer Masculinity (with Erick DuPree)Listen to Episode 91. Fat and Fabulous: Embrace Body Positivity (with Matthew Simko)Listen to Episode 93. Unlock Financial Freedom (with David & John Auten-Schneider)Listen to Episode 95. Take a Page from #GayBookstagram (with Rod Lujano)Listen to Episode 97. Diversifying Queer Horror Cinema (with Jose Nateras)Listen to Episode 99. Coming Out Later in Life (with Kevin O’ Connor)Listen to Episode 101. Sci-Fi: The Future is Queer (with TQ Sims)Listen to Episode 103. A Pulse Check on LGBTQ+ Healthcare (with Max Austin)Listen to Episode 105. The Pride Divide (with Tyrell Brown)Listen to Episode 106. Long Live Queer Nightlife (with Amin Ghaziani)Listen to Episode 107. Kiss & Release (with Anthony DiPietro)Support the showGet Your Merch

Since 1865, the Salvation Army has provided social services, such as shelter, food, and rehabilitation programs, to people in need. While known for its goodwill and iconic holiday red kettle campaign, the organization has faced controversy within the LGBTQ+ community over past policies and statements perceived as discriminatory.In this episode, we’re exploring the Salvation Army’s complex relationship with the LGBTQ+ community and the steps it has taken in recent years to improve inclusivity.Additional Resources:Committee’s Inquiry into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual AbuseSuit Claims Group's Staff Is Pressured On ReligionSettlement in Salvation Army Suit on ProselytizingNo Ban on Harry Potter, Twilight Xmas Donations, Says Sally AnnThe Salvation Army's History of Anti-LGBT DiscriminationSalvation Army Cuts S.F. Programs / Charity Spurns City's Domestic Partner LawCharity Is Told It Must Abide By Antidiscrimination LawsSalvation Army Uses Homeless to Fight Gay BenefitsB.C. Salvation Army Volunteer Tells Gay Rights Supporters Not to DonateStatement in Response to Australian Radio InterviewSalvation Army Refers People to Ex-Gay GroupsSalvation Army 'Does Not Consider Homosexual Orientation a Sin'Ellie Goulding Threatens to Cancel Her Cowboys Thanksgiving Halftime Show Over Salvation Army ConcernsSalvation Army Says It's No Longer HomophobicChick-fil-A Stops Donations To Anti-LGBTQ GroupsMacy's Won't Host Salvation Army This Holiday SeasonSalvation Army Commander: Yes, We Are Faith-Based Charity. But We Serve and Love Everyone.Support the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we’ve delved into the complex relationship gay men often have with body image shaped by societal expectations and stereotypes that idealize a lean, muscular physique, leading many to experience feelings of inadequacy and self-consciousness about their appearance. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, gay and bisexual boys are significantly more likely to engage in harmful behaviors such as fasting, vomiting, or using laxatives and diet pills to control their weight.In this episode, Roy Belzer, a body-positive fitness coach, joins us to share his personal journey with body image, discuss how he overcame disordered eating, and highlight the importance of inclusive fitness for the health and wellbeing of the LGBTQ+ community.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 32. Gay Men and Body ObsessionListen to Episode 82. Gay Gym CultureListen to Episode 91. Fat and Fabulous: Embrace Body Positivity (with Matthew Simko)Additional Resources:Learn More About Roy BelzerSchedule a Chat with RoyFollow Roy on InstagramFollow Roy on TikTokConnect with Roy on FacebookCheck Out Roy’s Men’s Health Magazine FeatureEating Disorder StatisticsSupport the showGet Your Merch

In most episodes, we often discuss how gay men face unique mental health challenges due to societal stigma, discrimination, and internalized stress, which can exacerbate issues like anxiety and depression. Prioritizing mental health and wellness can help address these specific struggles and promote overall well-being as we work to foster resilience and build a fulfilling life.In this episode, Peter DeWitt, founder of Gay Wellness, joins us to discuss how his own wellness journey led him to create an online platform that connects clients with quality gay massage therapists and wellness practitioners.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 35. Surviving the HolidaysAdditional Resources:Learn More About Gay WellnessFollow Gay Wellness on InstagramFollow Peter DeWitt on InstagramSupport the showGet Your Merch

Situationships are undefined romantic or sexual relationships that lack clear commitment or future plans, often leading to ambiguous expectations between partners. For some gay men, growing up in a heteronormative society can lead to attachment issues or a fear of commitment, making them more likely to find themselves in situationships where emotional vulnerability is limited.In this episode, we’re examining the telltale signs and red flags of situationships, discussing how these ambiguous relationships can affect mental health, and offering guidance on how to navigate a situationship if you find yourself in one.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 70. Good Grief: How to Cope with LossListen to Episode 71. Queer GriefListen to Bonus 14. WTF America?Additional Resources:Situationship DefinitionSituationship vs Friends With BenefitsSituationships: What They Are and 5 Signs You’re in One10 Signs You're in a Situationship, Whether You Know It or NotWhat to Do if Your Situationship is Screwing With Your Mental HealthWhy Situationships Can Be Toxic and How to Break FreeSupport the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. These categories often include themes of empowerment, heartbreak, resilience, and self-expression, resonating deeply with the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay men, who find solace and strength in these anthems.In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with Stefan Mreczko joining us to discuss none other than the Queen of Pop herself, Madonna. As host of MLVC: The Madonna Podcast, Stefan chats with us about the iconic singer, songwriter, and actress’ boundary-pushing music, reinvention of image, and significant influence on pop culture over the past four decadesRelated Episodes:Listen to Episode 04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional AppealListen to Episode 25. Gay Icons: My Name is KylieListen to Episode 41. Gay Icons: The Queen of DiscoListen to Episode 58. Gay Icons: Our Friend, DorothyListen to Bonus 11. Gay Icons: Amy WinehouseAdditional Resources:Learn More About Stefan MreczkoFollow Stefan on InstagramConnect with MLVC: The Madonna PodcastStraight Jacket: Overcoming Society's Legacy of Gay ShameSupport the showGet Your Merch