A Jaded Gay

Throughout many episodes, we’ve discussed how gay men continue to grapple with the shame they internalized as children growing up in a predominantly straight society that often invalidated or condemned their identities. This lingering shame can evolve into deep-rooted trauma, affecting their self-worth, relationships, and overall mental well-being.In this episode, we're exploring the theme of gay identity development from Dr. Alan Downs’ groundbreaking book, The Velvet Rage, and unpacking his three-stage framework for emotional well-being to live more fulfilling lives as proud gay men.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 01. Hello, Trauma. It's Me, Rob.Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your PerfectionismListen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?Listen to Episode 47. Say Goodbye to Abandonment IssuesListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-SwitchingAdditional Resources:Read The Velvet RageAuthenticity Unmasked: Navigating Mental Health for Gay MenUnderstanding and Addressing Emotional Unavailability in Gay Men: Causes, Signs, and SolutionsPerfectly Imperfect: Understanding Perfectionism and Its Impact on Gay MenNavigating Love with Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships for Gay MenUnderstanding Abandonment Issues in Gay Men: Navigating Fear of Rejection and Building Healthy RelationshipsSupport the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've explored pivotal moments in LGBTQ+ history that have often been overlooked or erased, highlighting why remembering our past is so vital. With the current administration actively trying to erase our history, preserving and sharing these stories—from hidden queer figures to the fight for educational accessibility—is more urgent than ever.In this episode, Michael Venturiello, an LGBTQ+ historian and founder of Christopher Street Tours, joins us to talk about the importance of preserving LGBTQ+ history, the misconceptions that still exist, and how we can ensure these stories are passed down to future generations.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsAdditional Resources:The Mafia’s Control of New York's Gay Bars: A Hidden Chapter in LGBTQ+ HistoryLearn More About Christopher Street ToursRead Christopher Street Tours’ LGBTQ+ Community GuideFollow Christopher Street Tours on InstagramConnect with Christopher Street Tours on FacebookFollow Christopher Street Tours on TikTokFollow Michael Venturiello on InstagramConnect with Michael Venturiello on LinkedInSupport the showGet Your Merch

The current landscape of LGBTQ+ bullying remains pervasive, especially in schools and online, where discrimination and harassment can have devastating impacts on mental health and well-being. Not only does this isolate individuals, but it also perpetuates a culture of fear and exclusion, making it harder for the community to achieve acceptance and equality.In this episode, Mike Keller, an author and speaker focused on raising bullying awareness, joins us to discuss how we can work together to eradicate bullying against LGBTQ+ individuals, raise awareness, and advocate for inclusive, supportive environments.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 69. That's So Gay (You Really Shouldn't Say That)Listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketAdditional Resources:Learn More About Mike KellerFollow Mike on InstagramRead Mike’s BooksSupport the showGet Your Merch

For gay men raised in religious environments, they often internalize harmful messages that condemn their sexual orientation, fostering a deep sense of unworthiness or fear. This religious trauma can manifest in lasting struggles with shame and self-acceptance, but through self-compassion, supportive communities, and healing practices, they can reclaim their sense of authenticity and pride in their identity.In this episode, Ann Russo, a religious trauma and queer empowerment specialist and founder of AMR Therapy, joins us to discuss how religious trauma impacts LGBTQ+ individuals and share strategies for reclaiming their sexuality and improving their mental health.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 62. Let Go of Your Religious Trauma (with Eric Feltes)Listen to Episode 76. Finally Free (with Seth Showalter)Additional Resources:Learn More About AMR Therapy & Support ServicesFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on InstagramFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on FacebookConnect with Ann on LinkedInSupport the showGet Your Merch

Het lag is a humorous term for the exhaustion and disorientation queer people experience after prolonged exposure to exclusively straight environments. While the term is lighthearted, it speaks to the very real psychological toll of minority stress—the mental and emotional burden of navigating predominantly heterosexual spaces, code-switching, and enduring heterosexism.In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of minority stress, exploring its impact on our well-being, and discussing how building community can help alleviate its physical and emotional effects.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 08. Finding Your CommunityListen to Episode 11. Overcoming Internalized HomophobiaListen to Episode 26. Gay & AnxiousListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other GaysListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-SwitchingListen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketListen to Episode 135. Don't Be A Mean GayAdditional Resources:Finding Your Community: Navigating LGBTQ+ Friendships Beyond the Party SceneUnpacking Internalized Homophobia: A Deeper Look at Self-Directed NegativityAnxiety in Gay Men: Understanding Unique Challenges and Effective Coping StrategiesHet-Lag (Reddit)Het Lag (Twitter)Minority StressTrauma, Minority Stress, and Disproportionate Health Burden Among LGBTQ+ PeopleMinority Stress Theory: Application, Critique, and Continued RelevanceMinority Stress and LGBTQ+ Patients’ Mental HealthLGBTQ+ Mental Health and the Role of Minority StressSocial Isolation and Connectedness as Determinants of Well-Being: Global Evidence Mapping Focused on LGBTQ YouthThe Epidemic of Gay LonelinessSupport the showGet Your Merch

While many people equate Pride to June, Pride events happen across the world throughout the year, amplifying the voices of the LGBTQ+ community. Given the recent political climate and ongoing challenges to LGBTQ+ rights, it's more important than ever to celebrate, participate, and advocate for equality and inclusion 365 days a year.In this episode, Patrick Gevas from Miami Beach Pride joins us to dives into the significance of Pride events and shares insights on how to celebrate and amplify queer joy year-round..Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 105. The Pride Divide (with Tyrell Brown)Listen to Episode 106. Long Live Queer Nightlife (with Amin Ghaziani)Listen to Episode 108. Celebrate Queer JoyAdditional Resources:Learn More About Miami Beach PrideFollow Miami Beach Pride on InstagramFollow Patrick Gevas on InstagramSupport the showGet Your Merch

While many people support LGBTQ+ rights and equality, true allyship goes a step further by actively standing against discriminatory legislation and amplifying queer voices. In this current political climate, it’s crucial that our allies remain engaged to protect hard-fought rights and continue pushing for progress toward a more inclusive future.In this episode, Greg Baird, a global lecturer and educator on LGBTQIA+ civil rights, joins us to explore how our allies can stand alongside us to challenge and dismantle hate and bigotry.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 09. Corporate Greed & Rainbow CapitalismListen to Episode 16. Being an Ally (with Cheyenne Filipczyk)Listen to Episode 110. Where Have All the Rainbows Gone?Additional Resources:Beyond the Rainbow: The Dark Side of Corporate Pride and Rainbow CapitalismTrue Allyship: Moving Beyond Performative Support for the LGBTQ+ CommunityLearn More About GregFollow Greg on InstagramSubscribe to Greg on YouTubeConnect with Greg on FacebookConnect with Greg on LinkedInSupport the showGet Your Merch

Gay stereotypes often arise from oversimplified and exaggerated portrayals in the media, which overlook the complexity of individual experiences and reinforce societal biases. While some of these stereotypes may seem harmless or humorous, they can lead to real-world consequences, including discrimination and alienation.In this episode, Mike Johnson and Kyle Getz, hosts of Gayish, join us to discuss their new book, You're Probably Gayish, which breaks down the most prevalent gay stereotypes in popular discourse.Additional Resources:Learn More About GayishBuy You’re Probably GayishFollow Gayish on InstagramSubscribe to Gayish on YouTubeFollow Mike on InstagramFollow Kyle on InstagramSupport the showGet Your Merch

We’ve previously examined the history of gay representation in TV and film, tracing its evolution from early portrayals to groundbreaking moments like Ellen, which helped pave the way for greater visibility. Among these influential shows, Will & Grace stood out as a game-changer, bringing gay characters into mainstream sitcoms and normalizing LGBTQ+ identities for a wide audience—though its representation wasn’t without flaws.In this episode, we’re exploring the conception of Will & Grace, its cultural significance, and the lasting impact it had on queer representation in television.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & FilmListen to Episode 12. Queer as FolkListen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters?Additional Resources:Streaming Through Stereotypes: The Progress and Pitfalls of LGBTQ+ Representation in MediaQueer as Folk: A Groundbreaking Journey of LGBTQ+ RepresentationWill & GracePilot (Will & Grace)Biden Says He is 'Absolutely Comfortable' with Same-Sex MarriageObama Backs Gay MarriageSupport the showGet Your Merch

The term "daddy" has been used as slang for over 300 years and was embraced by the gay community in the 1970s, particularly within the leather subculture, leading to the popular phrase "leather daddy." Today, in gay culture, "daddy" represents an older, confident, and nurturing figure, often admired for their authority, maturity, and sexual appeal, while also evoking playful and affectionate dynamics within romantic relationships.In this episode, For the Love of DILFs star Sal Zambito joins us to explore what it means to be a daddy in gay culture, the journey of embracing the daddy identity, and the valuable lessons daddies and boys can learn from one another within the gay community.Additional Resources:Follow Sal on InstagramFollow Sal on TikTokCheck out Sal on For the Love of DILFs Season 2Learn More About For the Love of DILFsConception of a Question: Who's Your Daddy?Here's an Outrageously Comprehensive Guide to the Term 'Daddy'Gay Daddy (Urban Dictionary)Daddy (Know Your Meme)S and M : Studies in dominance and submissionSupport the showGet Your Merch