A Jaded Gay

In recent years, "twink death"—the idea that a young, slim gay man loses social value as he ages out of the "twink" category—has gained traction as a viral online concept. Though often treated as a humorous social media trend, it highlights the deeper issues around ageism, body image, and the pressure to conform to narrow beauty standards within the gay community.In this episode, we unpack the cultural categorization of twinks, explore the origins and implications of "twink death," and discuss how gay men can challenge ageist beauty standards and embrace aging with pride.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 32. Gay Men and Body ObsessionListen to Episode 60. Is 30 Gay Death?Additional Resources:The Pressure to Achieve Perfection: Body Obsession in the Gay Community and Its Impact on Self-WorthDebunking 'Gay Death': How Gay Men Can Age with PrideTwink (Urban Dictionary)Twink (Dictionary.com)Twinkie (Collins Dictionary)What is a Twink?Twink (Wikipedia)Twink Death (Urban Dictionary)Twink Death (Know Your Meme)Twink Death and Its ConsequencesExoletus (Wikipedia)Twink Death: Is the Party Really Over?Twink DeathSupport the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we explored how LGBTQ+ media representation has evolved significantly since the early days of cinema, shifting from largely negative stereotypes and hidden identities to more nuanced and diverse portrayals of queer experiences. Despite this progress, there still seems to be a lack of LGBTQ+ voices and perspectives behind the cameras, ensuring that characters are authentically represented.In this episode, AJ Mattioli, a trans producer, director, and owner of Mattioli Productions, joins us to explore the critical need for authentic representation both on-screen and behind the scenes, the distinctive challenges encountered by trans-owned film production companies, and how we, as members of the LGBTQ+ community, can actively support and uplift queer filmmakers.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & FilmListen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters?Listen to Episode 97. Diversifying Queer Horror Cinema (with Jose Nateras)Listen to Episode 98. Dear Netflix: Stop Cancelling Our Queer ShowsAdditional Resources:Learn More About Mattioli ProductionsFollow Mattioli Productions on InstagramFollow Mattioli Productions on YouTubeCheck Out Mattioli Productions’ Latest TrailersBrowse Mattioli Productions’ FilmsSupport the showGet Your Merch

LGBTQ+ individuals often navigate the diverse landscape of the queer community to forge connections that resonate with their identities, seeking spaces where they feel seen, understood, and supported. The bear community, with its celebration of body positivity and inclusivity, provides a unique subculture within the larger LGBTQ+ spectrum, fostering a strong sense of belonging and community engagement.In this episode, Mark Singer, founder of Chumley’s BearCruises, joins us to discuss his experiences within the bear community, detailing how it inspired him to create Chumley's BearCruises and how these cruises foster a strong sense of belonging and connection among bears.Additional Resources:Learn More About Chumley’s BearCruisesFollow Chumley’s BearCruises on InstagramSubscribe to Chumley’s BearCruises on YouTubeConnect with Chumley’s BearCruises on FacebookSupport the showGet Your Merch

In a time when relationships are no longer confined to traditional labels, ethical non-monogamy allows gay individuals to build connections that align with their unique desires and values. By fostering open communication, trust, and mutual consent, non-monogamous relationships can provide fulfilling connections that honor the evolving dynamics of love and partnership.In this episode, Jeff Hudson joins us to share his personal journey with ethical non-monogamy, discussing the challenges and misconceptions surrounding non-traditional relationships and how his experience reshaped his views on love and commitment.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 54. Love in the Third Degree (with Eric Praniewicz)Additional Resources:Read Exploring Polyamory Among Gay Men: Redefining Love, Connection, and AuthenticityFollow Jeff on InstagramRead Deconstructing Us: My Trouble with a ThroupleEthical Non-Monogamy: Basics & Rules for ENM RelationshipsSupport the showGet Your Merch

Join Jason Heidemann, an LGBTQ+ travel writer and host, as he dives into the world of gaycations. He shares how travel fosters community and culture, enriched by personal stories. Safety tips for LGBTQ travelers navigating conservative areas are highlighted, alongside resources for finding inclusive spaces. Discover economical travel solutions and platforms like Mr. B&B that make adventures accessible. With insights on the emotional journey of travel and a celebration of iconic gay destinations, this chat inspires wanderlust for all!

Throughout many episodes, we’ve discussed how gay men continue to grapple with the shame they internalized as children growing up in a predominantly straight society that often invalidated or condemned their identities. This lingering shame can evolve into deep-rooted trauma, affecting their self-worth, relationships, and overall mental well-being.In this episode, we're exploring the theme of gay identity development from Dr. Alan Downs’ groundbreaking book, The Velvet Rage, and unpacking his three-stage framework for emotional well-being to live more fulfilling lives as proud gay men.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 01. Hello, Trauma. It's Me, Rob.Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your PerfectionismListen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?Listen to Episode 47. Say Goodbye to Abandonment IssuesListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-SwitchingAdditional Resources:Read The Velvet RageAuthenticity Unmasked: Navigating Mental Health for Gay MenUnderstanding and Addressing Emotional Unavailability in Gay Men: Causes, Signs, and SolutionsPerfectly Imperfect: Understanding Perfectionism and Its Impact on Gay MenNavigating Love with Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships for Gay MenUnderstanding Abandonment Issues in Gay Men: Navigating Fear of Rejection and Building Healthy RelationshipsSupport the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've explored pivotal moments in LGBTQ+ history that have often been overlooked or erased, highlighting why remembering our past is so vital. With the current administration actively trying to erase our history, preserving and sharing these stories—from hidden queer figures to the fight for educational accessibility—is more urgent than ever.In this episode, Michael Venturiello, an LGBTQ+ historian and founder of Christopher Street Tours, joins us to talk about the importance of preserving LGBTQ+ history, the misconceptions that still exist, and how we can ensure these stories are passed down to future generations.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsAdditional Resources:The Mafia’s Control of New York's Gay Bars: A Hidden Chapter in LGBTQ+ HistoryLearn More About Christopher Street ToursRead Christopher Street Tours’ LGBTQ+ Community GuideFollow Christopher Street Tours on InstagramConnect with Christopher Street Tours on FacebookFollow Christopher Street Tours on TikTokFollow Michael Venturiello on InstagramConnect with Michael Venturiello on LinkedInSupport the showGet Your Merch

The current landscape of LGBTQ+ bullying remains pervasive, especially in schools and online, where discrimination and harassment can have devastating impacts on mental health and well-being. Not only does this isolate individuals, but it also perpetuates a culture of fear and exclusion, making it harder for the community to achieve acceptance and equality.In this episode, Mike Keller, an author and speaker focused on raising bullying awareness, joins us to discuss how we can work together to eradicate bullying against LGBTQ+ individuals, raise awareness, and advocate for inclusive, supportive environments.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 69. That's So Gay (You Really Shouldn't Say That)Listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketAdditional Resources:Learn More About Mike KellerFollow Mike on InstagramRead Mike’s BooksSupport the showGet Your Merch

For gay men raised in religious environments, they often internalize harmful messages that condemn their sexual orientation, fostering a deep sense of unworthiness or fear. This religious trauma can manifest in lasting struggles with shame and self-acceptance, but through self-compassion, supportive communities, and healing practices, they can reclaim their sense of authenticity and pride in their identity.In this episode, Ann Russo, a religious trauma and queer empowerment specialist and founder of AMR Therapy, joins us to discuss how religious trauma impacts LGBTQ+ individuals and share strategies for reclaiming their sexuality and improving their mental health.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 62. Let Go of Your Religious Trauma (with Eric Feltes)Listen to Episode 76. Finally Free (with Seth Showalter)Additional Resources:Learn More About AMR Therapy & Support ServicesFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on InstagramFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on FacebookConnect with Ann on LinkedInSupport the showGet Your Merch

Het lag is a humorous term for the exhaustion and disorientation queer people experience after prolonged exposure to exclusively straight environments. While the term is lighthearted, it speaks to the very real psychological toll of minority stress—the mental and emotional burden of navigating predominantly heterosexual spaces, code-switching, and enduring heterosexism.In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of minority stress, exploring its impact on our well-being, and discussing how building community can help alleviate its physical and emotional effects.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 08. Finding Your CommunityListen to Episode 11. Overcoming Internalized HomophobiaListen to Episode 26. Gay & AnxiousListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other GaysListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-SwitchingListen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketListen to Episode 135. Don't Be A Mean GayAdditional Resources:Finding Your Community: Navigating LGBTQ+ Friendships Beyond the Party SceneUnpacking Internalized Homophobia: A Deeper Look at Self-Directed NegativityAnxiety in Gay Men: Understanding Unique Challenges and Effective Coping StrategiesHet-Lag (Reddit)Het Lag (Twitter)Minority StressTrauma, Minority Stress, and Disproportionate Health Burden Among LGBTQ+ PeopleMinority Stress Theory: Application, Critique, and Continued RelevanceMinority Stress and LGBTQ+ Patients’ Mental HealthLGBTQ+ Mental Health and the Role of Minority StressSocial Isolation and Connectedness as Determinants of Well-Being: Global Evidence Mapping Focused on LGBTQ YouthThe Epidemic of Gay LonelinessSupport the showGet Your Merch