The Best of You

Today, we're diving deep into something that touches so many of us—why we seek external validation and approval from others, and how healing our younger parts can set us free. If you've ever found yourself people-pleasing, perfecting, over-performing, or seeking approval from others, this episode is for you.We’ll explore:
✔️ Why younger parts of us drive our overfunctioning tendencies
✔️ How unmet childhood needs shape our patterns of guilt and perfectionism
✔️ The difference between external validation and true inner security
✔️ My own journey of reconnecting with an 8-year-old part of me (and how it changed everything)
✔️ Simple, practical ways you can start reparenting your younger self todayWhether you're longing for more joy, play, and vitality—or you're ready to step off the hamster wheel of approval-seeking—this episode will give you tools to start reconnecting with the young parts of you that have been waiting for your attention.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning—Discover the Hidden Costs of Always Being 'The Responsible One’ ‍Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this unmissable bonus episode, Dr. Alison chats with Carlos Whittaker, best-selling author and podcast host, about his life-changing experience of going screen-free for seven weeks. Immersing himself in the world of monks and Amish farmers, Carlos took a bold step away from the digital grind to reclaim his sense of connection with God, his community, and himself. Tune in to discover the profound life lessons Carlos learned from his digital detox, and how you, too, can find the simple joys of human connection in your daily life. You'll leave this episode inspired to make meaningful changes that enhance your connections with those around you!Pick up Carlos Whittaker's new book, Reconnected.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping TacticsThanks to our sponsor:Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered how to transform daily stress into personal strength and resilience?In today's must-listen episode, Dr. Alison is joined by the incredible Aundi Kolber, a trauma therapist and bestselling author of Try Softer. You’ll hear the backstory behind Aundi's latest book, Take What You Need and learn tools needed to develop and practice self-compassion. This episode covers:* How to recognize when you're outside of your window of tolerance* What most of us have gotten wrong about developing resilience* The research behind self-compassion and why it leads to unexpected strength* A beautiful metaphor from the Bible to empower and encourage you on your own journey of healingOrder Take What You Need hereHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 129: Understanding Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner ResilienceThanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get ahead of the New Year with a routine that helps you now by going to Seed.com/bestofyou and use code 25BESTOFYOU to get 25% off your first month. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel guilty for not doing enough—or take responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own?Today Dr. Alison tackles the complex feelings of guilt and self-doubt—what guilt truly is, why it can feel so crushing, and how it often stems from taking responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own. She shares from her own journey of overcoming excessive guilt and the life-changing perspective that finally set her free.Here’s what we cover:* How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt, and why it matters* The #1 most important question to ask yourself when guilt takes over* 3 buried emotions underneath false guilt* Why excessive guilt damages your relationships* 3 steps to help you understand and manage the voice of guilt in your lifeFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of ClarityThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the behaviors you turn to for comfort—whether it’s overworking, people-pleasing, or numbing out—aren’t the real problem, but rather a signal from a part of you that’s desperately trying to help?In this powerful and delightful episode, I sit down with Ian Morgan Cron—bestselling author and renowned Enneagram expert—to explore the fascinating intersections between Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the 12 Steps.Here's what we cover. . .* Why we’re all addicts in some way—and how the 12 Steps apply to everyone* What “firefighters” are in Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how they work to protect us* The true source of numbing behaviors* The surprising and liberating goal of the 12 Steps and what it means for all of us* Practical ways to find a safe person to share your struggles honestly and vulnerably* How we can all achieve emotional sobrietyPick up Ian's new book The Fix wherever books are sold.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna RiemersmaThanks to our sponsors: As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into the struggle of overfunctioning, where the burden of care often comes at the expense of personal well-being. Discover the concept of parentification, revealing how childhood roles can lead to adult struggles. Learn to identify five signs of having been parentified and explore practical steps towards healing. Alison introduces Mel Robbins' Let Them Theory, offering new tools for setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care, ultimately empowering yourself and others to grow.

Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and bestselling author, joins forces with his wife Nan Deal, co-founder of Connor's Song, to share their intimate journey of healing a marriage on the brink of collapse. They discuss the transformative power of understanding personal pain cycles and how these impact relationships. Listeners gain insights into nurturing the 'us-ness' in a marriage, practical tools for emotional growth, and the importance of self-awareness. Their candid exploration of grief and recovery resonates deeply, offering hope for all couples.

How do you experience loving attachment when trauma leaves you feeling shattered?In this incredibly profound and insightful episode, therapist and author of the brand new book, Sacred Attachment, Michael Cusick joins us to explore how our darkest moments of brokenness are not just moments of pain, but pivotal opportunities for forming a deeper, more secure attachment with God. Michael shares about his own healing journey as a result of complex trauma, and we unpack how our pain can bring us even closer to encounters with God’s love. Today’s episode is for everyone who has ever felt broken. We discuss. . .*5 way of understanding brokenness (and why the "sin" paradigm falls short)*Why mystical encounters are for all of us*A jaw-dropping moment when Michael experienced God's love*The role of imagination in healing*How to restore exiled and wounded parts of usOrder Sacred Attachment Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter?Thanks to our sponsors: Go to organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Anjuli Paschall, a spiritual director and author of 'Feel,' as she dives into the emotional rollercoaster of post-holiday life. She discusses the toll of holiday people-pleasing and shares strategies to reclaim personal boundaries for a more empowered New Year. Anjuli explores why the transition into a new year can be bittersweet and offers practical spiritual practices to navigate complicated emotions. Discover how to cultivate aspirational feelings and move forward with clarity and hope.

Are you curious about how science and spirituality intersect in understanding and treating mental health conditions like OCD?This week, therapist and spiritual director Ryan Kuja shares his incredible journey through the complex world of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). From a young age, Ryan battled intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors. Feeling isolated and overwhelmed, at 17, he cried out to God—a pivotal moment that launched him into an unexpected exploration of mysticism, neurobiology, and the intricacies of diagnosis. This episode is designed for everyone, whether you or someone you love is dealing with OCD, or you're simply interested in gaining a deeper understanding of the diverse human experience.Here’s what we cover:* Ryan recounts the pivotal moment at 17 when his struggle with OCD drove him to seek divine intervention* The difference between OCD and common intrusive thoughts—what sets them apart?* An overview of the latest and most effective treatments for OCD, from clinical approaches to innovative therapies* Ryan shares the spiritual practices that have not only helped manage his OCD but also enriched his spiritual journeyHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety—A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner Resilience Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BESTOFYOU and using code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices