Connected Parenting

I’ve had many requests from listeners asking for a refresher on the CALM Technique, and while I often direct people to earlier episodes, I think it’s time to go over it again.In this episode, we’ll break down how to use the CALM Technique effectively, especially when dealing with teenage boys, who can sometimes be a little more challenging to connect with.Whether you're parenting a fiery toddler, a sensitive pre-teen, or a moody adolescent, this episode will provide practical examples and real-life scenarios to help you de-escalate conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship with your child.|If your child isn’t a teen yet—don’t worry, they will be soon! And if you have daughters, this technique is universally helpful for all kids.Tune in for a deep dive into CALM and how to apply it in everyday parenting.In today’s episode, we’ll explore:Introduction to the Calm Technique and Oxytocin (00:00)The Four Steps of the Calm Technique (03:35)Scenarios and Practical Applications (08:25)Advanced Techniques and Tips (23:01)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode, we’re flipping the script. We spend so much time worrying about our kids’ screen time, but what about our own? The truth is, our relationship with our devices is affecting our focus, emotional health, and ability to be present for our children. And let’s be real—our kids are watching. Have you ever tried to watch a show without checking your phone? Or read a book for more than five minutes before feeling the urge to scroll? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In today’s episode, we’ll explore:Breaking Up with Your Phone: Introduction and Context (00:00)The Impact of Social Media and News Consumption (01:21)Understanding the Pleasure-Pain Continuum and Addiction (04:08)Practical Steps to Break Up with Your Phone (06:01)Tracking Screen Time and Setting Boundaries (09:03)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome back, connected parents, to another episode of the Connected Parenting podcast! Today, we're tackling a topic that many parents find incredibly frustrating—arguing with a teenager—but with a modern twist: the influence social media has on these conflicts.Teenagers have always been challenging to argue with. Conversations can escalate from zero to 100 in seconds, leaving you feeling completely disoriented. But in today’s digital world, there’s a new layer—the language of social media-driven psychology. Many teens are now using terms they’ve picked up online, like gaslighting, victim-playing, and toxic behavior, sometimes without fully understanding their meaning. While it’s great that mental health topics are more widely discussed, these concepts are often taken out of context and misapplied in everyday parent-teen interactions.So how do we navigate these conversations without making things worse? In this episode, we’ll dig into building connection, strengthening trust, and helping our teens develop a healthy understanding of the emotions and relationships in their lives.Jennifer's Takeaways:Challenges of Arguing with Teenagers in the Age of Social Media (00:00)Understanding the Teenage Brain (03:05)Impact of Social Media on Parent-Teen Interactions (07:12)Navigating Complex Concepts in Parent-Teen Arguments (10:25)Strategies for Staying Calm and Neutral (11:37)The Role of Self-Awareness and Responsibility (17:24)Resources and Support for Connected Parenting (24:33)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Negative consequences—while the term might sound harsh, the reality is that some kids truly thrive when they know they are surrounded by sturdy, solid, immovable limits.There are certain children, especially strong-willed or "gladiator" kids as I call them, who push back against every boundary—insisting they don’t need rules, testing limits at every turn, and even retaliating when consequences are enforced. However, despite their resistance, clear, consistent, and loving boundaries actually make them feel safer and more emotionally regulated.If you’ve ever felt guilty about enforcing consequences or struggled to set limits that actually work, this episode is for you. Tune in and learn how to create a structured and supportive environment where your child can thrive.Jennifer's Takeaways:Setting the Stage for Negative Consequences (00:00)Understanding Anxiety in Kids (02:06)The Importance of Consistent Limits (04:32)Setting Effective Consequences (06:24)Practical Tips for Implementing Consequences (07:56)Connecting Before Correcting (14:48)Resources and Support for Parents (15:39)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Parenting intricacies often strain relationships, but nurturing the parental bond is essential for family harmony. Discover why a united front benefits not just parents but kids too. Explore practical strategies to reconnect, like recognizing bids for attention and prioritizing quality time. Learn the vital role of teamwork and the transformative power of regular date nights. Engage in meaningful conversations to strengthen partnerships, helping your family thrive amidst life's chaos.

Welcome to the first Connected Parenting episode of 2025! After spending the holidays with my family, I’m excited to reconnect with all of you. The holidays are often a mix of joy, warmth, and togetherness, but they can also bring tension, big feelings, and unresolved conflicts. As Ram Dass so wisely put it, "If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family." In this episode, we explore how to navigate those lingering emotions and patterns that surface during family gatherings, especially as we enter a new year.Jennifer's Takeaways:Reflecting on Family Dynamics and Emotional Programs (00:00)Understanding Implicit Beliefs and Their Impact (01:29)The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (05:44)Practical Steps to Manage Implicit Beliefs (07:35)Inner Child Work and Self-Care (12:45)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

The holidays are a magical time, but they can also be overstimulating and stressful for children, particularly for those with strong-willed or highly sensitive personalities. In today’s episode, we dive into the joys and challenges of the holiday season—especially when it comes to managing big emotions and behaviors in kids. Jennifer's Takeaways:Why gladiator kids often struggle during big family gatherings.Front-loading expectations for both children and adults.Manage gift exchanges, overstimulation, and sibling conflicts with calm and confidence.The importance of maintaining routinesSet boundaries and limits without compromising the holiday spirit.The transformative power of the Calm Technique to connect with your kids Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Some parents shy away from using rewards or positive consequences, fearing it might feel like bribery or paying their kids to behave.While overusing this method can backfire, when used thoughtfully, positive reinforcement can be a powerful way to encourage better behavior, build positive habits, and instill confidence in your child.Join me as we dig deeper into this often overlooked tool.Jennifer's Takeaways:Positive Reinforcement in Parenting (00:00)Understanding the Pleasure-Pain Continuum (00:53)The Role of Dopamine in Rewards (06:39)Implementing Positive Consequences (08:29)Practical Tips for Positive Reinforcement (11:00)Balancing Rewards and Consequences (14:51)Addressing Individual Needs (15:03)The Importance of Consistency (15:19)Encouraging Pro-Social Behavior (15:32)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we explore why anger is often the default emotion for neuro-spicy gladiator kids. Whether they’re tired, scared, overwhelmed, or even hungry, these children often express their emotions as anger—a response that’s challenging for parents to handle.Learn how to decode the feelings behind your child’s outbursts, connect with them in the heat of the moment, and implement 10 actionable strategies to help them recognize and process their emotions. By understanding the root causes of their anger and responding with patience and connection, you can turn difficult moments into opportunities for growth and stronger bonds.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Anger in Neuro Spicy Kids (00:00)The Role of Emotions and Emotional Literacy (01:38)Parenting an Angry Child: Empathy and Neutrality (04:59)Strategies for Managing Anger: Before and After (06:31)Positive Consequences and Self-Care for Parents (06:49)The Importance of Seeing Beyond Behavior (07:14)The Role of the Frontal Lobe in Emotional Regulation (07:56)The Calm Technique and Its Benefits (08:11)Debriefing and Understanding Triggers (11:00)Positive Consequences and Reinforcement (13:33)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this week's episode of Connected Parenting, we are talking about a common parenting challenge: kids faking illnesses to avoid school or other commitments.While many parents can recall pulling the same trick in their childhood, handling it as an adult brings up a whirlwind of emotions—guilt, frustration, doubt, and even anger.How do you balance supporting your child while avoiding reinforcing negative behaviors?If this is a question in your home, listen in to hear my thoughts on helping you manage these moments with empathy, clarity, and calm.Jennifer's Takeaways:Kids Faking Illnesses: Introduction and Common Scenario (00:00)Recognizing True Illness vs. Faking (02:26)Handling School Calls and Office Visits (04:08)Addressing Chronic Stomach Aches and Anxiety (05:58)Using Mental Health Days and Setting Boundaries (09:57)Conclusion and Additional Resources (12:05)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).