Know More Know Less

I recently watched the film, It Ends With Us, based on the wildly popular novel by Colleen Hoover.  Despite the controversy over the film's romcom adjacent marketing campaign the story is about intimate partner violence (IPV) and the evolution of an abusive relationship.  While I enjoyed the film, it made me curious about the true statistics of abusive relationships, what the scientific literature says about those impacted most and if there are specific personality types who are more or less prone to entering such relationships.  I was also curious how often men are affected by IPV and where they might go to seek help.  Enter Dr. Don Dutton. Don has a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Toronto and is currently a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of British Columbia. He spent fifteen years providing therapy for court-mandated men convicted of wife assault and developed a psychological model for perpetrators of intimate abuse. He has published over 100 papers and five books, including The Domestic Assault of Women (1995), The Batterer: A Psychological Profile(1995) and  The Abusive Personality (2002).  Dutton has frequently served as an expert witness in criminal and civil trials involving domestic abuse and family violence, including his work for the prosecution in the O.J. Simpson trial (1995). If you'd like to reach out to Don, you can find his email and contact form on the website below: Website: htttp://www.drdondutton.com   KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 For full episodes and clips: https://youtu.be/0BTHHY4SvNE  

I recently talked to a friend about the hit show, White Lotus.  Season 2 was particularly juicy and we focused on if one of the couples could ever repair their relationship after a potential betrayal. That convo went in so many directions I decided to speak with an expert about betrayal and forgiveness.  Enter Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychologist who has been working with couples for over thirty years.  Through his teaching, consulting, and books, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists.  Together with his wife Judy, Dr. Chalmer hosts the podcast “Couples Therapy in Seven Words.” He is the author of three books:  Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again It is Not About Communication. Why everything you know about couples therapy is wrong  Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Couples Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back In today's episode, we discuss: --Understanding a partner's reluctance to go to therapy is crucial. --Success in therapy is not solely defined by couples staying together. --Most relationship problems are rooted in deeper emotional issues, not just communication. --Forgiveness is an internal process that can lead to emotional healing. --Trust must be rebuilt by both partners after betrayal. --Therapy can be likened to improv, requiring adaptability and openness. --Acceptance of reality is essential for personal growth and healing. --Forgiving oneself is the first step in the forgiveness process. --Recognizing that both partners are doing their best can foster understanding. KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 For full episodes and clips:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA

Living inside as many different cities and cultures as I have, I think I've seen every relationship permutation there is. And what I've learned is that there is no right or wrong when it comes to love.  There's only what's right and wrong for each couple, and usually even that changes over time.  Confusing? You bet!  So I've decided to speak to someone who lives outside of society's black and white monogamy culture and found a lifestyle that works best for her and her husband.   Lauren Hayes is relationship coach specializing in supporting ethically non-monogamous (ENM) couples, including swingers and the ENM-curious. She is trained in both life and relationship coaching, she helps couples navigate and engage the swinging and non-monogamous community in the healthiest of ways. Lauren believes that non-monogamous relationships share the same foundations of any healthy relationship, however, they need to operate at a higher level of health to accommodate the additional complexities. Her approach aims to help couples build their ideal relationship, regardless of how many others it includes. She also brings personal experience to her coaching having been married for 19+ years and ENM (swingers) for the last 5+ years. Lauren offers coaching and practical advice grounded in her own life as well as professional training - she goes by Swinging Lifestyle Coach and her website is SwingingLifestyleCoach.com. Takeaways Non-monogamous relationships require a higher level of communication. Self-awareness is essential for navigating non-monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy is not better or worse than monogamy; it's an option. Many misconceptions exist about non-monogamous relationships. Commitment should be to the relationship, not just the person. Emotional sovereignty is crucial for healthy relationships. Couples can benefit from regular check-ins about their relationship satisfaction. Exploring non-monogamy can enhance intimacy and connection. Accountability in relationships can lead to personal growth. Creating your own life is key to happiness. KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST:   For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 For full episodes and clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA

As most men growing up watching bombastic American action films, I've always been fascinated by the Navy SEALs program. Not just for the missions and sacrifice, but also for their level of mental resilience. Marty Strong is no different.  Having spent over 20 years in military service, both participating in and overseeing SEALs missions he has a perspective on life that has lead him to many different life paths after leaving the Navy.  On today's episode we discussed his path, tales of SEAL training and mission reconnaissance, and how mental toughness helps in all aspects of life  Marty is a Retired Navy SEAL officer, former UBS portfolio manager, and he is currently CEO of a middle market healthcare company. Marty serves on the boards of BEST Robotics, Inc., Metal Raptor, LLC, and is the President of BEST MindLab, a new for-profit entity owned by BEST Robotics, Inc. As if that wasn't enough to do, he is also a motivational speaker, and the author of nine published novels and three published business books.  His latest book: Be Different: How Navy SEALs and Entrepreneurs Bend, Break, or Ignore the Rules to Get Results!   The book is currently available for pre-order and comes out in early December 2024. You can find Marty here:   https://martystrongbenimble.com/ KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here:    Apple:  https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219   Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299   For full episodes and clips:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA

'Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.' - Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore There's an important lesson I learned years ago that I haven't spoken about much on this show. It's the incredible support I've found whenever I tried to achieve anything.  It didn't matter if it was a new sport, creative endeavours or entrepreneurship.  There will always be unsupportive, peanut gallery, talk behind your back clowns at any stage in life, but in my experience there were always friends, family and strangers to lift me up and help me on my journey. Every. Single. Time.   But it would've been impossible for me to find those people without starting the journey by myself, first. Tragically, that's always the hardest part. Enter Robert Hunt. Robert has become  "The Accountability Guy" and he is the co-author of the book "Nobody Cares...until you do."  He is a business owner in the Dallas/Fort Worth Texas area and helps leaders remove the things that keep them from being their best.  Robert is an Executive Coach who has been running CEO Groups in the Dallas area since 2013 and he brings that experience and wisdom to help people reach their goals. Today we are going to be diving deep into the waters of accountability and hopefully at the end of this conversation, me and all of you listening will be a little less likely to BS ourselves and can get out of our own way to get closer to our dreams and be the people we want to be in the world. KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST    For other platforms:   🍎 Listen on Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 🔊 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 📺 Full Episodes and clips: https://youtu.be/wsVdZUJ_Cq8

Across continents and age-ranges, it seems more and more people I know are either breaking up, getting divorced or strongly considering those options.  The conversations I've had on this issue all had a foundation on how devastating and complicated it is to pull the trigger to make this decision.  It seemed even with more extreme issue at play, the emotional equations are still complex.  Thoughts like, "Maybe this is a phase", "What about our kids?", "I've never lived alone...", "Maybe this is just what marriage is!", "Do I deserve better than this?", and the most painful thought hurdle, "But I still really love them"  My heart breaks for anyone going through such an era of their lives, and all I know is that I don't have the answers. Enter Megan Bruneau. Megan and I had an amazing chat that went all over the place trying to dissect this topic, from our personal experiences, to Megan's approach in her therapy practice and how others suffering in moments of their relationship might be able to think about the issue more clearly. Megan has been called the “Millennials’ therapist” by none other than Deepak Chopra and her no-nonsense, relatable approach has racked up over 30 million views. She has nearly 2 decades of providing crisis support, therapy and coaching and she’s been featured on Good Morning America and The T.D. Jakes Show.  Megan’s expertise is backed by her personal journey through mental health challenges and heartbreaks and she aims to change the way all of us relate to our inner and outer worlds.  You can find Megan @ https://meganbruneau.com/ if you'd like to continue the conversation with her.   Thanks, as always, for listening/watching!  KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 For full episodes and clips: https://youtu.be/xrftFHTdgms

I have always been fascinated by how and why someone enlists in military service, and even more so by hearing the details of logistics and interpersonal dynamics in missions and training. There are an uncountable number of books and movies on the topic, but getting one-on-one time with someone as experienced as my guest is a first for me and it did not disappoint.  J.L. Hancock is the Former lead innovator for the U.S. Special Operations community, now turned thrilling fiction author of The Hawk Enigma.  It was in 2002, when JL enlisted in the Navy and spent twenty years as a cryptologist. During his military service, Jim toiled in the dark corners of the government intelligence communities, learned two Asian languages, and eventually conducted over one hundred combat operations with special operations forces in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Philippines.  Over the last six years of his career, JL worked as the senior enlisted advisor on future concepts and innovation for the Navy special operations community. He became a well-known subject matter expert in unmanned systems, 5G, and artificial intelligence. Today we will dive into all things military intelligence, how robotics might end us all, the growing problem with political misinformation and how JL came up with the plot for his book.  Takeaways The catalyst for J.L. Hancock's decision to enlist in the military was the 9/11 attacks. As a linguist and cryptologist, J.L. worked closely with special operations units and conducted over 100 combat operations in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Philippines. J.L. emphasizes the importance of adaptability and trust in his role as a linguist, as well as the challenges of working with different personalities. He shares a mission example that highlights the stress of relying on technology and the need for quick thinking and problem-solving. In his role as an innovator, J.L. focused on seeking out emerging technologies and navigating the military's acquisition process. Funding for projects in the military often comes from combatant commands and is allocated by Congress. Artificially intelligent drones have the potential to mitigate risk in combat and civilian scenarios. Misinformation and the impact of social media on shaping ideologies are major concerns. AI and robotics have exciting potential but need to be used ethically and with consideration for human intuition and adaptability.   KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299 For full episodes and clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA

I reached out to my guest a couple of months ago, because solar flares were in the news again.  I became a little obsessed with solar flares about 10 years ago… to the point that I try not to think about them now because they freak me out.   So this was the perfect opportunity to dive deeper into something I know so little about.  Dr. Mojtaba Akhavan-Taftiis an Assistant Research Scientist at the University of Michigan, he’s also space scientist, inventor, and clean tech entrepreneur. He is the founder of Adaptable Powerful Transformative (APT) Solar Solutions, whose mission it is to unlock the power of the Sun by revolutionizing solar electricity generation and distribution. Mojtaba is also a space scientist, inventor and a part of the research faculty at the University of Michigan College of Engineering where he investigates the inner-workings of the Sun, Earth, and if that’s not enough, he teaches satellite mission design and analysis.  That last one seems like a fake job title from the Simpsons! Dr. Akhavan-Tafti was an amazing guest and I hope you enjoy all the knowledge he drops on me.    KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST:   For other platforms: Listen here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299   For full episodes and clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA

In the zeitgeist today there's a concept used in therapy communities called "showing up" as it pertains to your relationships and how you support those closest to you. But my guest, Marcy Axelrod, has elevated Showing Up into a way of being that will forever change your life.  Marcy and I discuss how the act of showing up fully in our lives  hands us the keys to a happier, more effective and balanced life. Marcy has been a keynote speaker for over 25 years. She's the award -winning author of On Your Game and her new book How We Choose To Show Up  challenges all of us to live more intentionally. Marcy asks her clients and all of us: Do we just show up, barely show up, or do we truly show up, living our most decisive moments with thoughtful intent?  Showing up is the invisible system all around us, connecting us to society, situations, ourselves, and each other. And drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and evolutionary biology, showing up is the crucial playbook for leading an impactful, high achieving life, while taking care of the world and each other.  =============== KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here:  Apple:  https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219   Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299   For full episodes and clips: https://youtu.be/Gi1sGfmur4Q  

We all have dreams and goals that live in our minds more then they live in the world.   It doesn't matter if those dreams are to compete in an IronMan, to quit smoking, or to read a little more. We all have the desire and the motivation to accomplish these things, but tragically what we often lack is the follow-up, the execution of the daily tasks, big and small, that us to accomplishing those goals.  My guest, Dr. Emily Balcetis, wanted to know why that is.  And in her research put herself in the role of guinea pig testing her ideas to successfully write her book and learning to play the drums, all while caring for her newborn!!  Emily and I discuss why some people accomplish their goals, throwing away their cigarettes packs or putting on their running shoes while others continue to fall short?   Today we dive straight into the science of turning dreams into reality.  Emily Balcetis is an Associate Professor of Psychology and the director of the New York University, Social Perception, Action and Motivation research lab where she leads an international team of scholars, writers, artists, and advocates.  In her research, Emily has uncovered previously unknown strategies that increase, sustain, and direct people's efforts to meet their goals. Her work has been supported by numerous national grants from the National Science Foundation and National Institutes of Health, and has also appeared in over 80 scientific publications. She is a two time TEDx speaker and author of the book Clearer Closer Better: How Successful People See the World. ===========================  KNOW MORE KNOW LESS PODCAST: For other platforms: Listen here:    Apple:  https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/know-more-know-less/id1652659219   Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fxCXp5AlfajmcTgvSWSGl?si=87be920940534299   For full episodes and clips:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN4wkMATGEXMTU4Xrw-YZTA