The Self-Driven Child

In today’s episode of The Self-Driven Child, I interview Eli Lebowitz, the creator of the concept SPACE, or Supportive Parenting of Anxious Childhood Emotions. He is helping parents and kids break the cycle of chronic stress. We discuss how to help our kids cope with uncertainty or a lack of control over situations. I’m so excited to share this conversation with you – Bill and I are huge fans of Eli’s work, and we feel so fortunate to spread the word about the SPACE concept. I hope you enjoy it! Timestamps:[2:48] Why he wrote Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD[4:35] The pandemic’s effect on childhood anxiety[6:10] Is it regular anxiety or an anxiety disorder?[10:50] The value of coping mechanisms [11:15] The heart of anxiety disorders [13:37] Helping with anxiety comes from a place of love [17:24] Empathy helps parents with this process[21:22] How anxiety can present in families [23:44] The NUTS and bolts of anxiety[25:27] Addressing anxiety widens a child’s world[27:58] The traps parents fall into [35:38] Accommodations for anxious kids[38:56] Moving toward letting kids feel anxiety sometimes[42:47] Teaching kids to be the hero of their anxiety story[44:05] The problems of always accommodating kids’ anxieties[47:51] Preventing learned helplessness[50:23] The value of a plan & where to start[58:00] Final thoughtsResources:Breaking Free from Child Anxiety and OCD: https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Free-Child-Anxiety-Scientifically/dp/0190883529More about the guest: Professor Lebowitz is the Director of the Program for Anxiety Disorders at the Yale Child Study Center, where she researches and treats anxiety in children and adolescents. His work investigates the genetic and hereditary factors that have a role in the onset and maintenance of anxiety and associated diseases. Dr. Lebowitz has written extensively on child and adolescent anxiety and is the primary researcher on several grant-supported studies.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

Dr. William Stixrud, an expert in neuroscience and education, discusses ADHD, anxiety in teens, college readiness, and the impact of parental involvement on children's success. Emphasizing empathy, communication, and managing stress for a smoother transition to adulthood.

For parents, there’s always that juggling act we do for our kids where we must keep one eye on what is happening in their lives today, and one eye on what lies ahead. It’s stressful to think about what the future holds for our kids. After all, the world is becoming a harder and harder place to live in. My guest for this episode of the Self Driven Child Podcast is author, educator and similarly concerned parent Stephania Malia Krauss. She stopped by to discuss her book Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and what she’s learned as a parent to become an expert juggler of her kids’ priorities today, and goals of tomorrow. We discuss everything from motivation, brain function, what experts are saying now and some inspiring success stories too.[01:30] We meet our guest Stephanie Malia Krauss.[02:30] Stephanie provides some background information about what inspired her book.[07:35] Education and child development priorities need to be re-examined.[10:30] The disconnect between education and parental/community goals.[15:50] ‘Livability’ & ‘Lovability’.[19:00] “Pockets full of red Maple Leaves.” What is truly valuable?[25:28] The struggle for college preparedness.[29:30] A true cause of childhood stress.[33:00] Putting things in perspective through real human struggle.[35:45] The importance of resilience.[39:00] The benefits of listening and respecting our kids.ResourcesWhole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive by Stephanie Malia Krauss: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Child-Life-Learn-Thrive/dp/1071884425What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home by William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson: https://www.amazon.com/What-You-Say-Motivation-Tolerance/dp/1984880365Prep Matters: https://prepmatters.com/Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Self Driven Child. If you enjoyed this conversation, please follow the podcast on your favorite platform and leave a review to let us know your thoughts.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

When it comes to parenting, there are plenty of dos and don’ts experts will give you. But one thing most experts will agree on, including my guest for this week’s episode Sarah R Moore, is that discipline should be used sparingly, and only to teach. Letting children learn from their mistakes whilst getting them to move forward, and test their limits are things many parents struggle to ensure happen. Sarah, the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior and an expert in gentle parenting joined us to discuss how parents can delicately, and with kindness, get their children to become self-disciplined whilst contributing to a peaceful and strong family connection.[01:40] Introduction of our guest Sarah R Moore.[06:05] The importance of being consistent and predictable with children.[08:10] Negotiating as a part of any relationship. [11:05] Emotional safety and a child’s mental health.[15:14] What is Story Teaching?[17:40] Why lecturing and yelling never work with children.[23:03] Josh Compton’s Inoculation Theory.[27:35] Being collaborative with children and it’s positive effects.[34:30] The importance of being a non-anxious presence.Resources & Links:Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior by Sarah R Moore: https://www.amazon.com/Peaceful-Discipline-Teaching-Science-Behavior/dp/1643436759Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills by Jane Nelsen, Ed. D: https://www.amazon.com/Positive-Discipline-Self-Discipline-Responsibility-Problem-Solving/dp/0345487672Prep Matters: https://prepmatters.com/Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Self Driven Child. If you enjoyed this conversation, please follow the podcast on your favorite platform and leave a review to let us know your thoughts.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

On today’s episode, I’m joined by Becky Munsterer Sabky, an author, columnist, and former director of international admissions at Dartmouth College. Together, we explore the college admissions process. From the importance of authenticity in college essays to extracurricular activities, we touch on what makes an application stand out from the rest. We also discuss Becky’s book, Valedictorians At The Gate and her viral New York Times op-ed piece Check This Box If You’re a Good Person. We highlight the college recruiting process and admission rates and consider why students shouldn’t measure their value based on whether or not they get into the best college. Tune in to gain valuable insights that will help you and your highschool student navigate the college admissions process.[00:00] Why students shouldn’t view college admission as a prize.[00:56] Intro- Valedictorians At The Gate by Becky Munster Sabky.[02:44] Becky shares how college admissions officers evaluate applications, and helps students put their best applications forward.[05:42] Talking numbers: application fees, recruiting, and admission rates.[9:24] Three priorities that colleges are really after.[12:00] The college athletics recruiting process.[14:17] Becky talks about the story behind “Check This Box If You’re a Good Person” and writing her book.[21:04] Highlighting the importance of authenticity in a college application.[24:39] How important are extracurricular activities?[28:39] Taking advantage of the opportunity to try new things in college.[32:29] A story about a frog.[36:35] The world is changing.Resources:Valedictorians At The Gate by Becky Munster Secchi- https://www.amazon.com/Valedictorians-Gate-Standing-Getting-Applying/dp/1250619033 Check This Box If You’re a Good Person- https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/04/opinion/check-this-box-if-youre-a-good-person.html Prep Matters- https://prepmatters.com/ Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Self Driven Child. If you enjoyed this conversation, please follow the podcast on your favorite platform and leave a review to let us know your thoughts.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

In this episode of the Self-Driven Child podcast, I engage in an insightful conversation with Elizabeth Hamblet, a seasoned college learning disabilities specialist. Elizabeth unpacks the challenges and pitfalls students with disabilities may face when transitioning from high school to college and the measures they can take to navigate this often overwhelming journey. With anecdotes, expert insights, and Elizabeth's first-hand experience, this episode serves as a roadmap for parents and students alike, providing them with the tools to foster independence and self-advocacy, essential skills for navigating college life.[2:36] What are things that a lot of folks just don’t know about college?[5:17] When your kid turns 18, they’re protected by the Federal Education Privacy Act.[8:12] If you want to know your kids' grades, you need to ask them.[12:42] What is a Note Taker?[14:39] What is a case manager? What does it mean?[16:34] What is the approach avoidance continuum?[19:08] How do you respond to an interview that’s "scary"?[21:54] What parents should be thinking about as they prepare their kids for college admissions.RESOURCES: LD Advisory - Elizabeth Hamblet's website with resources and services for students with learning disabilities. https://www.ldadvisory.com/ About Elizabeth -  https://ldadvisory.com/about/ Prep Matters - Ned Johnson's test preparation, tutoring and college admissions planning services. https://prepmatters.com/Remember that fostering independence is crucial for all students, but even more so for those with disabilities. The skills, tips, and knowledge shared by Elizabeth will undoubtedly help you or your child navigate the transition from high school to college with confidence and ease. This episode underscores that students with disabilities can indeed succeed and thrive in college, provided they are equipped with the right tools and support. As always, thank you for joining us. Stay curious and keep learning!If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

In this episode, I speak with Janine Halloran about her books, Coping Skills for Kids Workbook and Coping Skills for Teenagers Workbook, and what she learned from working with kids as a licensed mental health counselor. Janine talks about the major categories of coping skills and provides parents with tips for helping their children implement effective coping mechanisms. Janine also shares the importance of play and movement to help self-regulate. Join us for valuable insights into helping kids connect with their feelings and how to cope with big emotions.[01:40] Defining “coping skills” from a clinical standpoint and why having them is so important.[05:33] The relationship between “play” and self-regulation.[08:55] The importance of asking children “how would you like to solve this problem?”[10:25] Teens being conflict avoidant.[12:50] The major categories of coping skills from Janine’s book.[16:03] Is there a difference between relief and release of stress?[19:40] Discussing the idea of movement.[23:05] Connecting physical feelings in our body with feeling emotions.[26:30] Helping parents understand their children’s individual differences.[28:28] Advice for parents on how to implement coping skills if their child is resistant?After listening to our conversation, I hope you are able to help your child better understand their emotions and implement coping skills that work for them.Resources:Coping Skills for Kids Workbook by Janine Halloran- https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Skills-Kids-Workbook-Strategies/dp/1683731220 Coping Skills for Teens Workbook by Janine Halloran- https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Skills-Teens-Workbook-Helpful/dp/173338717X Washington Post article: The crisis in American girlhood- https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2023/02/17/teen-girls-mental-health-crisis/ Janine’s website- https://copingskillsforkids.com/PrepMatters Website: https://prepmatters.com/If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

In this episode, I speak with seasoned higher education reporter Jeff Selingo about his latest book, Who Gets in & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, and what he learned about the admissions process from a year embedded in the admissions departments of three universities. Jeff debunks some of parents’ and students’ biggest misconceptions about the admissions process and provides tips for evaluating a school before applying. Jeff also shared his hopes for creating a better admissions process for all students. Join us for valuable insights into what college admissions officers are looking for and what factors influence their decisions. [01:47] The impetus behind Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions [03:58] Many students think about admissions backward [08:17] The effects of diversity initiatives and athletics on the admissions process[12:51] In admission circles, money matters[19:04] There’s always a trade-off happening in admissions offices [20:48] Moving toward a test-optional admissions process[27:51] The admissions process is not meant to pit students against each other [33:52] High schools are the unit of measure that admissions officers are looking at [35:55] Students from the same high schools tend to apply to the same pool of colleges [38:30] The truth about acceptance rates and “selective” schools [39:50] How can families evaluate colleges before applying? [43:40] Merit aid really isn’t merit aid [46:31] Many things are not fair [51:05] Hopes for a better admissions process[56:58] There is life after collegeAfter listening to our conversation, I hope you and your child are able to approach the college application process with increased confidence and reduced stress. RESOURCES: Jeff’s Website: https://jeffselingo.com/Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions by Jeff Selingo: https://www.amazon.com/Who-Gets-Why-College-Admissions/dp/1982116293PrepMatters Website: https://prepmatters.com/If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

On today’s episode, I’m joined by Devorah Heitner, a tech expert and author, and we explore the challenges our children face in the digital world. From the importance of mentorship in understanding our kids' digital lives to recognizing and dealing with cyberbullying, we touch on the complexities of the online world for kids. We also discuss fostering empathy in children, privacy concerns, and the role of technology companies. We highlight the significance of open communication, empathy, and mentorship in guiding our children towards responsible and safe digital usage. Tune in to gain valuable insights that will help you navigate your children's online presence.[0:00] The digital world is a positive source of community for our kids, but every kid is going to have a negative interaction.[6:41] What are some of the big picture issues that parents should know about and when and how to intervene?[11:24] When should parents get involved with social media bullying?[14:52] It’s none of my business what other people think of me.[21:58] Part of our job as parents is to help our kids learn how to use these wildly powerful technologies in ways that are appropriate.[26:27] When should parents work with their kids to solve their own problems and when should they step in?[31:16] Most kids are not having these kinds of horrific experiences, but every kid is going to have a negative interaction.I hope you find value in our discussion and that it provides you with useful insights into helping your children navigate the digital world safely and responsibly.RESOURCES:Screenwise by Devorah Heitner: https://www.amazon.com/Screenwise-Helping-Thrive-Survive-Digital/dp/1629561452/Growing Up in Public by Devorah Heitner: https://www.amazon.com/Growing-Up-Public-Coming-Digital-ebook/dp/B0BPWPSWCYPrepMatters website: https://prepmatters.com If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

In this episode of The Self Driven Child Podcast, I talk with Katherine Reynolds Lewis, an award-winning journalist, speaker, and author of "The Good News About Bad Behavior." We discuss the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on children's mental health, the importance of resilience and adaptability, and how parents can support their kids and themselves during challenging times. TIMELINE SUMMARY[2:18] Researchers at Stanford University were the first to compare MRI scans of teenagers’ brains from before and after the pandemic and found significant differences.[6:15] Healing the long-term effects of childhood adversity.[9:38] The slow maturation of the brain.[12:57] Posttraumatic growth is a source of future resilience. It’s not in our heads.[15:53] We can go anywhere from here and there’s a huge body of research on post traumatic growth and protective factors that can predict after a traumatic[19:09] Mental health is a mental health issue.[21:47] Knowing what you know, knowing what you want.[24:42] How can parents and guardians find educational environments where their kids are getting positive and mental health work?I hope you find this episode as enlightening and inspiring as I did. Thank you for joining me on this journey to better understand and support the mental health and development of our children.RESOURCES:Katherine Reynolds Lewis's book, "The Good News About Bad Behavior": https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Bad-Behavior/dp/1610398386 Katherine's Washington Post article on the increase in adolescent suicide attemptsPrepMatters website: https://prepmatters.com If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com