Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this episode, Kimberly and Day discuss rituals and reflections for life-altering experiences. Our culture does not hold much space for processing how threshold events change us such as birth, postpartum, death, and all forms of comings and goings in our lives. Day describes what led him to his work of "Morning Altars" and newest book "Hello, Goodbye" which was a series of life-changing moments that he calls "wreckage" and how he pieced together rituals to acknowledge those experiences and their influence. Together, they discuss how to create rituals for all kinds of life moments, especially those which impact us deeply. Bio Day Schildkret is an internationally known artist, teacher, and author. His two books "Morning Altars: A 7-Step Practice to Nourish Your Spirit Through Nature, Art, and Ritual" and "Hello. Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change" help readers connect with art, nature, and ritual. His work has been featured on NBC, CBS, as well as BuzzFeed, Vice, Well+Good, and more. What He Shares: –Personal roots behind "Morning Altars" work, when his mother forgot his name –Creating beauty in wreckage - Marking transitions - He's looking for a husband, if you know anyone! –Ritual, acknowledgement, and witnessing life's impactful events What You'll Hear: –Morning Altars came from early fascination with decorating nature –Morning Altars came after break-up with partner and father's death –Low-stakes creativity and ritual in nature –"Being wrecked" and not turning away from the endings of things –"Wreckage" deeply connected to grief and loss and turning towards it –Continuing to live while walking in the world with wreckage –Wonderment and not taking life for granted –Making meaning with life, grief, art, relationships –Experience with mother's dementia –Transforming grief and wreckage into something beautiful –Lit candles thinking of friends and family who loved mother –Creating ritual in pain –Art is putting pieces back together to make something meaningful –"Hello, Goodbye" newest book –Rituals for endings and beginnings –Ritual doesn't lead to answers or solutions –Handing over dream of having a child to friends through ritual –Understanding comings and goings from nervous system perspective –Unacknowledgement of threshold experiences in culture –Unwillingness to slow down and reflect especially in difficult experiences –Rituals help us reorient to what is new and changing –Marking endings and witnessing to new beginnings –Crucial aspect of being witnessed and held during threshold experiences –Ritual allowing expression of feeling and witnessing from others –Loss of ritual in culture, ancestry, and families –"Hello, Goodbye" is a cookbook to awaken capacity to make ritual Resources Website: https://www.morningaltars.com/ IG: @morningaltars

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Jessika and Joanna share about their experiences of being part of the Jaguar community. These testimonies speak beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kaisa speaks about how growing her knowledge and felt sense experience of the nervous sytem has affected her life, healing, and lens of the world. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Michelle speaks about how the Jaguar work and community have supported her journey of healing trauma and widening her capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this episode, Kimberly and Melissa discuss Melissa's several books, including "Girlhood" and "Body Work". They discuss writing personal experiences and its impact on close relationships, as well as mother/daughter dynamics, writing as a medium for processing shame and trauma, and cultural responses to women's stories of coming of age, consent, trauma, sex work, and more. Bio Melissa Febos is an author and an assistant professor at the University of Iowa, Nonfiction writing program. She is author of four books, including the nationally bestselling essay collection, "GIRLHOOD," which is a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist and won the National Book Critics Circle Award in criticism. "GIRLHOOD" was named a notable book of 2021 by NPR, Time, The Washington Post, and others. Her craft book, "BODY WORK" (2022), was also a national bestseller and an Indie Next Pick. What She Shares: –Experiences writing books about self, sex, and traumas –Family responses to writing –Cultural responses to stories of sex, shame, etc. –Writing as part of reparative process –Newest book Body Work What You'll Hear: –Power of story-telling –Openness of media and culture for book like Girlhood –Bringing topics of sex and affirmative consent on national television –Experiences of stalker and associated traumas –Doing the difficult work for self and relationships –Experience of cuddle parties and consent –Awareness and consent as a life's work –Process of writing and remembering –Love and tenderness for past selves –Mother's experience of reading book about harm and adolescence –Complexities of trauma for girls, women, and mothers –Difficulties of traumatic experiences for mothers and daughters –Mothers' experiences knowing details of daughters' trauma –Process of writing narrative fueling healing with privacy before publishing –Taking time necessary for writing –Victim-blaming regarding sexual assault –Quick to suppress personal desires in relation to others' –Conflicts in female friendships building resiliency and love –Social conditioning for girls to please others over selves –Bodies, aspirations, talents as an "affront to femininity" –Experience becoming a sex worker –Internal conflicts due to second-wave feminism –Feeling safe exploring parts of sexual self through dominatrix work –Backlash from community after publishing experience in sex work –New book Body Work Resources Website: https://www.melissafebos.com/ IG: @melissafebos

In this episode, Kimberly and Gil discuss human anatomy and Gil's years of dissection projects and publications. Gil offers a wealth of information he has learned about the body through his dissection work and how his reverence for the human form fuels his projects. Specifically, they discuss various aspects of fascia, nerve trees, adipose tissue, and more, as well as how culture both politicizes the body and dispossesses various aspects of it, perhaps leading to a larger spiritual issue and evolution of our time. Bio Gil Hedley, Ph.D., earned a doctorate in theological ethics from the Divinity School of the University of Chicago, and also became a Certified Rolfer at the Rolf Institute in Boulder, CO. His combined interests and training has supported his personal exploration of the human body to develop an integral approach to the study of human anatomy. Through hands-on human dissections courses in the laboratory and lecture presentations, he has encouraged thousands of fellow "somanauts" to appreciate, explore and embody the wonders of human form. He has published a number of books, created online access through livestream courses to the wonders of the dissection process, and produced The Integral Anatomy Series, a set of four feature-length videos documenting my whole body, layer-by-layer approach through on-camera dissection. His current project, Anatomy from A to Z, is a comprehensive and inspiring year-long exploration of two forms through the Integral Anatomy lens. What He Shares: –Dissection and anatomy projects –Complexities of nerves and fascia –Differences between male and female forms –Difference between natural tears and incisions –Spiritual components of dissection work –Dispossession and politicization of the body in culture What You'll Hear: –Explains Anatomy from A-Z Project –Comprehensive archive of human body recorded –Dissected bones, muscles, tissues, and vasculature on camera –Shares experience dissecting cadaver –Traumatic experience over dissection work and had to adjust emotionally –Intentionally making body connection through dissection work –Connection with families of donors of bodies for project –Learned accidents, traumas, various issues, and emotional experience regarding donors –Nerves are structural, have physical context (not abstract) –"Underdog fascia" and multilayered fascia –Native connective tissue density –IT band structures –Emotional components associated with superficial fascia –Female form has denser, deep fascia and thicker, superficial fascia generally –Dispossession of fat as suppression of feminine in our culture –Culture has problematized and medicalized birth disrupting the process –Traumatized doctors try to control birth to avoid ongoing trauma related to death –Psychological pall thrown over women give impression not capable of birthing –Tears in birth assist with natural process –Episiotomies damage nerves in ways that natural tears do not –Increase in tears and severity in connection with culture –Oversimplification of tissues and meanings such as vagus nerve –How he came to dissect genitals –Took years of dissecting to find erectile tissues of clitoris –Wants to film nerve system dissection, process important –Vaginal work with reverence –From PTSD to helping others process anatomy work –Group processing and shared experiences assisting in dissection work –Energetic relationship to forms –Experiencing the whole form –Self-acceptance and rejection of cultural standards –Politicization of bodies and spiritual problem in identity politics Resources Website: gilhedley.com

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kyra Lehman speaks about her experience as a dancer, mother, filmmaker and with disability. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of the course, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming Activate Your Inner Jaguar course.

In this episode, Stan, and Kara discuss their new co-authored book "Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents." Many couples experience new challenges in their relationship after the birth of a new baby and need tools and support for navigating these common issues. They discuss "primitives" and "ambassadors" as terms for people in relationship, maintaining presence and attention during sex, and the importance of committing to shared values as a relationship buoy during the postpartum period where both parents, and especially the birthing partner, are pushed to new edges. Bio Dr. Stan and Kara Hoppe, M.A. co-authored Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents. Baby Bomb is based on the premise that successful partnering is the first step for couples to become successful parents. Kara Hoppe has an M.A. in Clinical psychology, and is a feminist, mother, and teacher. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). Stan has written dozens of academic articles and six bestselling books. What They Share --Primitives vs. Ambassadors in relationships --Managing stress during the postpartum period --Nurturing relationship while nurturing baby --Sexual re-negotiations postpartum --Witnessing and tending to after a new baby What You'll Hear --How a baby changes a relationship and maintaining it --"Primitives" run show when stress is present and operate on more primitive instincts --What keeps us behaving properly is a shared idea of why we do what we do --Tendencies under stress to act and react automatically instead of pausing and reflecting --Pro-self vs. pro-relationship --Primitive as lower-brain functions and ambassadors as part of brain that correct errors, predict, plan, mediate impulses and emotion --Helping couples create shared space where both people can be themselves with safety and security --Both partners push and agree to limits and boundaries --Acknowledging and starting dialogue when one is feeling neglected or disconnected --Nurturing couple relationships as priority along with parenting --Using inclusive language to mitigate difficult conversations in relationship --Stress and transition of new child on relationship --Working preventatively on relationships --Any physical contact is meaningful for a stressed relationship postpartum --Sex renegotiations in relationship after a child --Presence, attention, curiosity with the partner enhances love-making and relationship satisfaction --Grieving process of loss of two-person couplehood versus becoming parents --Readjust to reality of emotions, body, libido changing after a baby --Witnessing individual and partner developmental changes as one would with the baby --Libido as life force energy and emotional energy --Libidinal energy is a concern for parenting and in partnerships --First 18 months of development critical and consistent contact for right-brain --Equality can't mean sameness in postpartum; Birthing person needs more care postpartum --Partner offering care, comfort, and resources to birthing partner --Being okay with feeling vulnerable and being needy postpartum --Biologically mother regulates baby and partner regulates mother --Pair-bond to raise baby together with both parents --Attachment orientation differences in couples therapy --Gender stereotypes in sexual desire and couples therapy --"Bids" in postpartum where one seeks out connection from partner --Purpose over feeling and principles that protect us from whimsy of our feelings --Importance of humility and acknowledging wrong-doing in partnerships and families --Relationships as practice Resources Website: https://www.karahoppe.com/baby-bomb-book IG: @karahoppe @drstantatkin

In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss regenerative cooking, the GAPS (Gut And Psychological/Physiological Syndrome) diet, and healing through building and regenerative foods. Kate explains the origin of the GAPS diet and its impact on children with autism, as well as what foods the GAPS diet uses, They also discuss how regenerative cooking is important for vaginal health and other women's health issues and experiences, ancestral lineages of meat and plant nutrition, and how to introduce probiotic foods into your diet. Kate is teaching a free upcoming class as well as offering a new course starting in March. Bio Kate Pope is a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and founder of Regenerative Cooking School. Regenerative Cooking School teaches people the foundations of therapeutic cooking providing recipes, cooking instructions, 1:1 sessions, group coaching, and classes. The GAPS Diet, or GAPS Nutritional Protocol rebuilds a damaged gut using animal fats and proteins, homemade probiotic foods, seasonal fruits and vegetables, nourishing liquids and a variety of lifestyle-based detoxification methods so that you can heal the root cause of your disease. What They Share –What the GAPS diet is –How to implement GAPS diet –Women's health and the gut –Kate's upcoming cooking class What You'll Hear –GAPS protocol –GAPS syndrome address Gut AND Psychology/Physiology Syndrome –Use food to rebuild gut lining, homemade fermented foods to rebalance microflora in gut –Microbiome working healthily improved cognition in children with autism –Different approaches to implementing diet for children (cold turkey & gradual) –Women's health issues –Autoimmune problems, bacterial overgrowth, vaginal issues, etc. –Vaginal infections related to gut microbiome –Antibiotics wipe out beneficial flora and create environment for candida –Important to use probiotic foods when taking antibiotics –Candida (yeast) needs to be consumed to balance microbiome of vagina and gut –Elimination diets vs. rebuilding through GAPS protocol –Meat stock, organ meats, egg yolks, etc. to repair gut lining with homemade probiotic foods –GAPS timeline should be 3 months to 2 years to implement consistently –Sourcing locally and knowing farmer's feeding –Ethical concerns around eating meat –Vegan diets never existed ancestrally –Closer to equator lineages tend to eat more plants –Can source meat ethically –Building foods (meat and meat products) vs. cleansing foods (plants) –Kate shares feeling sad and connecting to diet –Eating raw egg yolks (yogurt, kefir, raw milk) –Kate eats half cup of fat a day, 6-8 egg yolks, 32 oz kefir, ghee –GAPS diet slow and steady bringing in powerful, healing foods –Slowly introducing probiotics and probiotic food depending on how one reacts individually –Introduce new foods slowly for 5 days then introduce more –Kate's offerings Resources Website: www.regenerativecookingschool.com IG: @thewildnutritionist

In this episode, Kimberly and Octavia discuss Octavia's upcoming book "Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change." Octavia describes her relationship to rest, stillness, and restoration, and the circumstances in her life that led her to honoring the importance of rest. They discuss how many of us assume fast-paced lives and are often confronted with our own challenges around rest during early postpartum. They also discuss how meaningful rest is deeply restorative and invites us to understand our most authentic selves. Bio Octavia Raheem is an author, yoga teacher, and proud mother and wife. She has received national attention for her work training yoga teachers and diversifying the yoga industry and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Magazine, and more. She is the author of "Gather" and her upcoming book "Pause Rest Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change." She is committed to being well-rested and free. What She Shares: –Importance of modeling rest for family –What meaningful rest is –How Octavia developed relationship to rest –How upcoming book discusses prioritizing rest during pandemic What You'll Hear: –Being mothers, authors, running businesses –Describes modeling rest practices for son and family –Rest is fuel –Restorative practices –Living with the pause –Learned importance of taking better care of self through motherhood –Finding rest during the never-ending "to do" list –Former public school teacher, Cross-Fitter, power yoga practitioner, yoga teacher –Describes experiencing condition and hospitalization from overworking, dehydration, and overworking muscles –Describes worrying in hospital over working and responsibilities –Nurse introduced her to rest, stillness, and pausing –Devotion to rest was conceived in the hospital –How postpartum experience forces us to slow down and question our relationship to rest –Rest as a lover –Discovering authentic self in a place asking nothing from me –Simple rest practice: sit for one minute, notice, and feel –Book describes rest situated during pandemic –Reading of excerpt from upcoming book –An invitation into the pause –Power of transmission through words to rest and pause –Accessing rest in a plethora of ways –Describes beginning book about "endings," writing in June 2020 –Endings always before beginnings and becoming –Collective and communal honorings of endings Resources Website: https://octaviaraheem.com/ IG: @octaviaraheem