Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this episode, Kimberly and Barbara discuss Barbara's iconic career as a dancer and performer in the 1960s, her work as a founder and President of Naropa University, and her pedagogy which combined dance and performance with mindboby practices and various spiritual traditions. She also discussed the early days of Naropa University which symbolized the creative and expansive, alternative movements that were happening culturally at the time. Barbara then shares her reflections on aging, sickness, and internalized ageism as well as creative ways for aging people to live and embrace the end of life. Bio Barbara Dilley (Lloyd) (born 1938) is an American dancer, performance artist, improvisor, choreographer and educator, best known for her work as a prominent member of the Merce Cunningham Dance Company and The Grand Union, from 1969 to 1976. She has taught movement and dance at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado, since 1974, developing a pedagogy that emphasizes what she calls "embodied awareness," an approach that combines dance and movement studies with meditation, "mind training" and improvisational composition. She served as the president of Naropa University from 1985 to 1993. What She Shares: —Early career as a dancer —Performing as a young mother —First President of Naropa University —Origins of Mind-Body practices in 60s and 70s —Ageism in spiritual and New Age communities —Kindness through sickness, aging, and death What You'll Hear: —Being the "first" in various fields —First President of Naropa University —Transition from ballet into modern dance —Pregnancy and mothering while performing —Shadow-side of touring the world as a young mother —Modern dancing in India in the 1960s —Strain on family life while touring —Leaving marriage and family during 60s —Personal drive to pursue performing career —Cultural environment of new thoughts, opportunities, creativity, avant-garde world —Origins of Movement Studies work —Improvisation performance technique styles emerging —Began teaching at Naropa in 1974 —Created dance program at Naropa and leaving NYC —Teaching alongside Ram Dass and Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche —Contemplative Education from East and West at Naropa —Incorporating Mind-Body practices into Dance courses —Spiritual appointment of serving as President at Naropa —Transitioning to retirement from writing and teaching —Feeling emotionally and physically drained leading to health issues —Learning through aging and cultural ageism —Working through cultural imprints around aging —Feeling in competition with younger self —Ageism in spiritual and New Age communities —Kindness through aging which is inevitable —Accepting inevitability of aging and death instead of turning away —"Spiritual materialism" —Becoming invisible as an aging woman —No cultural appreciation for elders —Holistic understanding of human journey including aging and death —Multicultural and multigenerational living instead of nuclear families —Finding small community to discuss sickness, old age, and death —Stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness, and death

In this collection of testimonials, Jaguar course alumni speak about how the Jaguar work and community have supported their journey of healing trauma and widening their capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4-week course "Activate Your Inner Jaguar Foundations." In this episode, you meet three dynamic Jaguar women: Audrey Holst, Tori Miller, and Nicole Siegel. Each of these women talks about specific before and after experiences that intersected with their Jaguar work. Here is some of what you will hear in this episode: Audrey: Jaguar shows up as full-life shifts We can't think our way to something different Jaguar work is approachable and doable when taken in as small bites on a regular basis Her dominant story in the past, "Nothing bothers me" she realizes now, is more about resignation The accumulation of reclamations of space and time is hugely important to her The embodiment of panic is shifting when she rock-climbs. When in moments of stress, staying conscious and present is increasing The bigger piece of this work is enjoying the things that she wants to enjoy in her life more fully Tori: The Jaguar community aspect has been so important to her After cancer treatment, Tori found herself struggling to be around others. Jaguar work helped her to re-engage with important people in her life With innovative Jaguar practices she continues to notice new things in her body, after having ignored it for so long, due to chronic pain Having Ehlers-Danlos has caused proprioception issues. Jaguar work has helped Tori rediscover a new grounding in her body Tori loves how Kimberly talks about healthy sympathetic charge, even adrenaline responses. When she accepted this in her system, it calmed down more quickly, leaving behind a constant state of fight or flight Tori is more hopeful about her health and that her own body can help with her healing Dancing never felt good with Ehlers-Danlos: balance issues, pain, coordination, self-consciousness. Now she dances all of the time, even in public To sign up for the Foundation Edition of Activate Your Inner Jaguar that begins September 6th, or to read more about the course and about what other women are saying about Activate your Inner Jaguar, go to https://kimberlyannjohnson.com/sessions/.

In this episode, Kimberly and Catherine discuss their personal experiences of perimenopause and menopause. Catherine shares how her identity as a holistic health practitioner and educator initially conflicted against her need for allopathic medical treatment or HRT, hormone replacement therapy, which has been life-changing through her experience of menopause. Together, they discuss symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and how menopause changes pelvic health, business, sex, and relationships. Menopause serves as a season that invites us inward while disrupting areas in our lives that need shifted. They also discuss how today's generation of menopausal women are disrupting the narratives around this life-changing initiation. Bio Catherine Hale is a UK-based practitioner and educator. She is trained in Sexological Body Work, Tantra, Sexual Shamanism and supports clients collectively and individually around trauma, sex, pelvic health, nervous system regulation, money, business, and more. Recently, she has publicly shared her menopausal journey as a practitioner which has helped her further support her community. She offers coaching, courses, and more on her website below. What She Shares: –Symptoms of perimenopause and menopause –Using Hormone Replacement Therapy –Radical self-care and self-love –Navigating business, sex, and relationships through menopause What You'll Hear: –Identifying perimenopause –Irregular cycle, change in length of cycle, hot flashes, etc. –Feeling like cognitive function dissipated during hot flashes –Debilitating hot flashes during nighttime –Difficulty as a sex, tantra, women's health practitioner but not finding solutions –Menopausal underwear –Identity as a practitioner, belief about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) –Strong identification against HRT created sense of belonging in community –Sense of being a failure using HRT –Becoming humbled by menopause journey and HRT –Change in newer data showing not as strong link between cancer and HRT –Spiritual healer identity –Synthetic hormones versus bio-identical hormones –Dutch test to identify hormones –Radical self-care and fully caretaking of body in business –Changing relationship with business through menopause –Prioritizing body and self more fully in business –New levels of needs and organization through and post menopause –Finding new sources of energy and needs for rest –Menopause and relationships –Menopause gives blueprint for who you're moving towards –Fear in some men around women's power during menopause –Gap in communities for men to be supported during partners' menopause –Vaginal and libido changes –Creating closer relationship to vulva and internal felt senses for vaginal tissue –Misinformation in tantra trainings around sexuality and menopause –Intimacy, sexual, and spiritual communities ignoring menopausal bodies –Catherine's offerings around nervous system, trauma, money, and more Resources Website: https://catherinehale.co.uk/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/catherinehaleuk/

Celebrating the release of their new book Reckoning, Kimberly Ann Johnson and Stephen Jenkinson grapple with the key themes of their convergence: grief, heartbreak, culture work, elderhood, and the prevalent myth of individualism in this Me First era we find ourselves in. Three times as many people listened to their 2021 conversations (Episodes 135 and 136) than any other talk, which led to a five conversations series, an exchange of letters, and now Reckoning. To order the book - hardback, paperback, or audiobook - go to: www.orphanwisdomschool.com/reckoning Bullet points won't do this episode justice, so buckle in for the two-hour ride that is more in the spirit of the original conversations than about the book itself.

In this episode, Kimberly and Jen discuss financial planning and making financial decisions such as investing, budgeting, managing debt, saving for emergency funds and retirement. With recent inflation and a possible upcoming recession in addition to ethics of equity, many feel overwhelmed by their personal finances moving them into a state of freeze. Jen provides practical steps towards mapping out a budget, paying off high-interest debt, and creating savings. Jen also discusses how she works with clients individually and her upcoming 12 week financial planning program for entrepreneurs. Bio Jen Mayer is a Brooklyn-based mother of two, financial counselor, and former doula with a vast background in the wellness industry. She currently works with clients by offering non-judgemental financial counseling such as paying down debt, planning for retirement, in addition to other major life changes such as starting a business or having a child. Jen can be contacted through her Instagram and website linked below. What She Shares: –Inflation and the current US market –Overwhelming debt –Saving, investing and emergency funds –Shame and freeze around finances –Profit Foundations 12 week financial planning course What You'll Hear: –Transition from doula work and agency to finance –Personal finance counselor and coach –Debt management, financial foundations, retirement, savings, and more –Non-judgemental support, shame around finance –Advocacy in finance –Offered free counseling sessions –Financial trauma and shame –Navigating ideals around money and real-world contexts –Retirement needs within the US –Anti-capitalism and individual preferences and comfort around money –Investing, owning and other decisions around money –Emergency funds for 3-6 months living expenses –Distinction between savings and hoarding –Saving with a plan instead of hoarding –Cash losing value from inflation –Stock market depreciating –Possible upcoming recession –Uncertainty around current economy –Investments waiting for financial rebound –High interest debt over 6-7% –Opportunity for investments –Paying off debt as rates go up –Ambivalence around entrepreneurship –Fixed expenses, variable expenses, debt and savings –More leeway in increasing income versus cutting spending –Managing massive amounts of debt –Nervous system responses to debt –Aggressive strategies for more financial freedom –Debt as morally neutral –Having witnessing and accountability to personal finances –Getting a personal banker and an advisor –Understanding different roles of financial professionals –Profit Foundations: 12 week financial program –Self-employment finances –Program for personal finances, business projections, tax strategy and retirement –Benefits of one-to-one sessions versus group program –Investing and saving while paying off debt –High interest and low interest debt –Investment growth and debt compounds –Invest in traditional retirement account to lower student loan debt –Women having personal accounts while married and partnered Resources Website:www.fullyfundedx40weeks.com IG: @fullyfundedx40weeks @jennyleighmayer

In this episode, Kimberly and Alicia discuss connective tissue, states of the nervous system, dealing with chronic pain, and more. They discuss the complexities of fascia, differences between genetics and epigenetics, understanding individual dominant nervous system states, and body/mind mapping. Understanding the differences between physiological stress versus emotional stress as well as the importance of consciously and specifically paying attention to pain can help us begin to understand how to manage it better. Bio Alicia has over 35 years of experience in the fitness industry and holds a B.S. in Exercise Science and Sports Studies. A longtime movement enthusiast, Alicia has studied, practiced, and taught many different types of movement throughout her career. She is the Founder of the Fajardo Method of Holistic Biomechanics which teaches movement education and motor re-patterning in conjunction with nervous system awareness. She teaches various kinds of classes and has an upcoming workshop which can be accessed by the link below. What She Shares: –Composition of Fascia –Ehlers-Danlos syndrome –Genetics versus epigenetics –Place and grid cells –Working with chronic pain –Physiological versus emotional stress What You'll Hear: –Syndrome longer lasting consequences affect autoimmune system –Ehlers-Danlos syndrome as connective tissue disorder can go through all layers of tissues –Can occur in muscular, joint, organ, vascular system(s) –Attacks in different ways for different people –Different types of testing to determine syndrome –Perceptual experiences of symptoms –Fascia made up of collagen, elastin, glycoproteins and protoglycans –Ground substance in fascia –Dominant state of nervous system determines ground substance –Body weight distribution dependent upon dominant state of nervous system –Nervous system state determines mineral absorption and digestion –Hypermobility and developing support for joints –Getting valve system to move –Creating dominant parasympathetic motor patterns versus sympathetic motor reflex –Genetics versus epigenetics –Genetic has dominant or receptive expression from parents' genes –Genetic expression has to do with mutation of a gene –Epigenetics deals with genetic expression –Epigenetics internal or external environment can potentially change gene expression –EDS can be both genetic or epigenetic –Many mental health issues connected to hyper-sympathetic nervous system –Emotional stress versus physiological stress –Physiological stress is sympathetic nervous system –Emotional stress causing conflict to conscious and unconscious brain firing off sympathetic nervous system –Vagus nerve and adaptability to sympathetic and parasympathetic –Trigeminal nerve largest nerve in body, controls brain and senses –All nerves have roles in either sympathetic or parasympathetic states –Paying attention to bodily sensations doesn't create brain map –Paying attention to external environment to communicate safety to brain –Proprioception and greater movement orientation –Brain map –Sensation and location awareness –More movement and dynamic and parasympathetic –Exercises for mapping –Keeping awareness between two points on body –Different stages of states and conservation of energy –Emotional Anatomy by Stanley Keleman –Observing and being very specific about what's happening in body with EDS –Bodies constantly changing –Avoiding labels when understanding pain –Losing body's adaptability when labeling –Attachment to diagnoses and labeling –Symptoms dependent on nervous system states difficult to diagnose and treat from medical perspective –Adapting sympathetic activation to be appropriate to environment –Brain assessing environment to determine appropriate state –Physiological responding to environment instead of emotional state –Teaches various classes and upcoming workshops Resources Website: https://fajardomethodmovement.com/

In this collection of testimonials, Jaguar course alumni speak about how the Jaguar work and community have supported their journey of healing trauma and widening their capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 6-week course "Activate Your Inner Jaguar - Somatic Healing Through Movement." To sign up for the Movement Edition of Activate Your Inner Jaguar that begins July 12, or to read more about the course and about what other women are saying about Activate your Inner Jaguar go to kimberlyannjohnson.com/jaguar-moves. Bios Kimberly Chan Ko is from Southern California. Mother of a 2 year old girl and 8 year old puppy son, She is an Ophthalmologist who now enjoys teaching physicians how to start ketamine infusion clinics and content marketing. We will hear about Kimberly's discovery of how societal programming and cultural pressures influenced many of her life desisicions — ones that were based out of fear. Her newly discovered sense of grounding and assertiveness has affected her decision making, which now comes more from her gut and is less about people pleasing. Nadia was born and raised in Russia, and lived her adult years in the US, Costa Rica and Thailand. She is currently improvising her way out of a dark period of deconstruction into a more aligned, authentic version of self. On this journey that's happening through the body, Nadia found in Kimberly's work the kind of help and trustworthiness she's been looking for. Bianca Alana Bauer daughter of Silvia Veronica is a single parent of 2 and craft salon owner in Wichita Kansas. Bianca describes a transformational hair cut inspired by orientation work in Jaguar! I hope you will enjoy indulging in her vivid descriptions of finding new-found pleasure with cooking in her kitchen, as much as I did. It is a true sensory experience.

In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss navigating the physical, spiritual, and lifestyle changes of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. They discuss the negative associations with perimenopause and menopause based on culture that condition us to view of these life cycles unfavorably. They also discuss parenting during these stages, tending to symptoms with curiosity and kindness, and using the pulls inward to bloom into seasons of second springs and second summers of life. Perimenopause and menopause can be powerful times of tending to ourselves more kindly, reintegrating and healing ourselves from previous life stages, and harnessing the power of intuition and discernment. Bio Kate Codrington is a menstrual and menopause mentor, speaker, workshop facilitator, writer, podcaster and former therapist for nearly 30 years. She is also an artist currently weaving textiles, words, story and stitch. Her first book Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause is published by HarperCollins and she also has a variety of offerings such as yoga nidra, online classes, and more. What She Shares: —Identifying the perimenopause phase —Cultural anxieties around menopause —Defining perimenopause and menopause —Parenting while transitioning —Tending to extreme symptoms —Superpowers of menopause What You'll Hear: —Peri-menopause —Cultural anxieties surrounding peri-menopause —Gaining weight and losing elasticity during perimenopause —Facing mortality through menopause —Peri-menopause time to examine and let go to life that doesn't serve us —Shedding before moving into new phase of life —Culture making menopausal women invisible contributing to anxiety —Healthcare uninformed generally around menopause —Perimenopause defined as "around menopause" —Symptoms are changes in menstruation from what is normal —More desire to be alone —Health costs to amount of working leading up to menopause —Perimenopause time ranges between months to many years —Negative connotations associated with "postpartum" and "menopause" —Interfering versus accepting peri-menopause and menopause —Parenting during perimenopause —Stages of menopause in relation to seasons and cycles —Oxytocin encouraging sociality in direct conflict with need to withdraw during menopause —Guilt over feelings of needing alone time while parenting —Enormous call of turning inward —Meeting conflict of needing alone time while parenting —Differences of rhythms and slowness within family systems —Changes in relationship to sex during peri-menopause and menopause —Embracing physical changes in vaginal tissue —Staying close to pleasure, safety, and kindness sexually —Endless variations of sexuality and meeting the moment —Post-menopause as "another country" —Reconnecting and reintegrating with former teenage self —Disorientation during losing cycles of menstruation —Ritual, journaling, honoring loss and grief —Being tender and sweet with ourselves moment by moment —Call for attention and kindness —Severe symptoms calling for attention and kindness for treatment —Menopausal super-powers of discernment, intuition, and spirituality —Second spring and second summer of life postmenopause Resources Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ IG: @kate_codrington

In this conversation, Kimberly and Ishita wonder together about non-dualism, embodiment, culture, ancestral heritage, and more. They discuss Ishita's approach to non-dualism which holds both consciousness of energy while being connected to the body in the present moment. While many spiritual teachings dismiss the body, the body holds wisdom and energy, particularly through the nervous system. Ishita proposes that the nervous system is energy at its core, and we understand the energetic layers and boundaries of our nervous systems, energies, and others'. They also discuss spiritual teachings, cultural differences between India and the U.S., and varying cultural practices as evidence of universal principles. Bio Ishita Sharma serves as a mentor, mirror and activator to those who wish to better our world. She helps them embody their truest purpose while rising beyond ego-centric paradigms through her work of Come to Center. Ishita has coached leaders from Google, Harvard, MIT, Silicon Valley startups and multinationals. Clients come to her to grow and heal through their deepest challenges and longings while held in their perfect wholeness. They include seekers and scientists, therapists and coaches, visionaries and creatives, CEOs and incarcerated youth. What She Shares: —Non-duality and embodiment —Holding space for vulnerability and grief —Energy of the nervous system —Culture and ancestral lineages What You'll Hear: --Holding space for others in grief and anger --Showing up naked and vulnerable --Recognition of one's own suffering --Being honest and curious in the journey --Showing up vulnerable for ourselves and the moment --Non-dual awareness without spiritual bypassing --Growing up in India compared to living in the West --Dissociation, non-awakened states very problematic --Confusion around what awakening is --Many turn to spirituality to turn from trauma sometimes creating conflict --Energetics connecting with nervous system --Field to field interaction --Energy to energy interaction --Nervous system is electrical impulses --How to get with what is --Holding both particularities and universalities --Most of us lost in our ordinary minds (thoughts, emotions, physicality) --Holding messiness of being human --Body holding information versus being untrustworthy in spiritual circles --Dangers of speaking about truths that can only be experienced to be known --Masculine-focused spirituality bypassing wisdom of the body --Rejection of boundaries which should be honored (personal, interpersonal, physicality, etc) --Being in sync with what is not resisting --Over-valuing teachers and spiritual leaders --Lack of secure attachment in US culture --Lack of community, base to sit on, foundation in US culture as opposed to other cultures --Universe is here to support me not antagonize me --Lack of co-regulation in US culture --Ancestral influences in culture that lacks knowledge of ancestry --Void and absence over generations present in us now --Principles of universe across time and culture --Owning what we are ancestrally before learning others --Murmurations --Basics course for embodied meditation Resources Website: https://cometocenter.com/

In this episode, Kimberly and Devi discuss healing trauma, embodiment, and various sexual and non-sexual healing spiritual traditions. Devi describes her background from stripping in Detroit to a spiritual journey of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism as well as various other spiritual practices and her current work of holistic sexual healing. Together, they discuss how some spiritual traditions are needed in various life stages but actually dissociate us from our bodies and pain. They discuss how trauma can be processed, healed, and repaired through Tantra practices and ultimately serve others through that wisdom and healing. Bio Devi Ward Erickson is the Founder of The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education – the first and only government accredited professional training institute using the Tibetan Five Element Tantric practices for holistic sexual healing. She is also an ACS Certified Sexologist, Certified Tantric Healer, Certified Reiki Practitioner, Certified Meditation Instructor, and accomplished practitioner of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism. She specializes in using Authentic Tantra® and "pleasure as medicine" to awaken more joy, more pleasure, more connection, more love in every area of life. What She Shares: —Growing up as a biracial woman —Journey from stripping to becoming a monk —Tibetan Tantra practices —Sexual and non-sexual practices for healing trauma —Repairing trauma cellularly through Tantra What You'll Hear: –Neo-tantra, adaptation and appropriation ancient spiritual science from India thousands of years ago –Tantra originally a system of healing rooted in Africa then travelled to India –Devi shares her background as a biracial woman experiencing racial trauma and violence –Survivor of childhood domestic violence and other traumas –Tantra as path of healing and reclamation of humanity –Authentic tantra vs. neo-tantra –Regulate nervous systems through tantra, meditation, breath, and awareness –Tantra tool-kit for healing trauma with benefits of sexual pleasure –First practice of tantra is mindfulness, creating presence of body –Stigma and glorification of sex work –Serious suicide attempt as rock bottom –Devoted self to spiritual studies, herbal medicine, reiki, meditation, crystal healing, etc. –Moved to NC, took vows to become monk in Ishaya Order –Observing celibacy as part of vows –Sexuality during spiritual and yoga trainings –Describes addiction to dissociative form of meditation –Turned to Tibetan five element tantra after experiencing health issue –"Running the elements" meditation practice as a powerful experience –Non-sexual and sexual Tibetan five element tantra –Had to confront trauma directly for first time –Healing trauma through meditative sexual practices –Genital healing massage techniques –Boundaries in sexological body work and sexual healing traditions –Couples to be sexual healers for each other- sex with intention, focus and purpose –Intergenerational trauma, collective trauma –Creating spaciousness in body and mind to repair cells and trauma –Holding multiple truths with nervous system awareness and tantra practices –Greater capacity to hold apparent, contradictory opposites and serving others Resources Website: https://deviwardtantra.com/ IG: @deviwardtantra