

Between Us: A Psychotherapy Podcast
Between Us
Psychotherapists John Totten and Mason Neely bring you this psychotherapy podcast that explores what is happening between therapists and patients, from both sides of the relationship.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 7, 2024 • 1h 24min
Episode 50: We Are Not Sovereign Individuals
Orna Guralnik, a practicing psychoanalyst and couples therapist known for her role in the show Couples Therapy, joins John Totten in a fascinating discussion. They dive into the complex relationship between therapy and geopolitics, highlighting how personal identities shape therapeutic experiences. Orna shares insights on navigating authority and compassion in therapy, revealing the challenges of maintaining privacy while documenting sessions. The conversation culminates in exploring the intricacies of emotional intimacy and the vital importance of mutual recognition amidst conflicting histories.

Jul 24, 2024 • 1h 25min
Episode 49: Frenzied Up Beyond All Repair
Avgi Saketopoulou’s work challenges our notions about trauma and much more. Her concept of traumatophilia asks us to consider not what we do about our trauma but what we do with our trauma. These theories are profoundly disruptive to our therapeutic sensibilities- the value we place on safety and the import of language. Favoring Freud’s earlier, frenzied model of sexuality, Avgi draws connections from the erotic to the violent, providing a framework for understanding sadisms and the horrors happening in the world. As John and Mason discuss political violence and its psychoanalytic influence, Avgi dares us to rethink our investment in containment, pacification, and repair itself.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Website: www.betweenuspodcast.com
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Jul 10, 2024 • 1h 22min
Episode 48: The Other Side of Symmetry
Donna Orange is a foundational figure in the world of intersubjective psychoanalysis. A philosopher-practitioner who carved out her niche as the radical ethicist of the field, she discovered the work of Emmanuel Levinas to provide an alternative to mutuality. His description of the hierarchy of intersubjective space, in which the Other is always primary, became integral to her progressive ethos. As John and Mason explore the limits of symmetry and the Zionism of their favorite thinkers, Donna discusses how her own violent origins might have led her to the Holocaust survivor Levinas, the respect she shares for Martin Buber, and the importance of good, ethical fun.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Website: www.betweenuspodcast.com
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Jun 26, 2024 • 54min
Episode 47: Alive and Present
Lynne Jacobs joins us for our first ever live episode. In 2023, the International Forum for Psychoanalytic Education hosted John in Pasadena to interview Lynne for the conference theme, “…but is it psychoanalytic?” As a therapist with loyalties both in psychoanalysis and gestalt therapy, Lynne has much to say about the use of presence and emotional process in the treatment room. This focus has been particularly useful to her in cross-racial relationships, where she makes the case that it is important for white therapists to lean into their own racialized shame. Lynne discusses with John the journey that brought her to this stance, including her own treatments and the experience of losing her analyst, Daphne Stolorow, in the midst of their work- a loss into which John now shares some insight.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Engineered by Ian Knippel
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Website: www.betweenuspodcast.com
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Jun 12, 2024 • 1h 2min
Episode 46: Dissociated Dark Sides
Steven Kuchuck was taught by classical psychoanalysis that his subjectivity was an artifact to bury. However, through his interest in social responsibility he found a relational revolution, and a promising way for therapists to stay more alive in the room. As a dedicated guardian of the contemporary perspective, he speaks with John about the importance of examining the humanity in all of us, including the darkness that lurks in our dissociated corners and the supposed bad guys we lose when excommunicated from the psychoanalytic lineage.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

May 29, 2024 • 1h 5min
Episode 45: Grist For The Mill
Nancy McWilliams is a renowned psychologist with many foundational books to her name. Her work has been particularly groundbreaking to psychoanalytic psychotherapists in reshaping how practitioners all over the world think about diagnosis and personality. In an extensive conversation, she discusses the beginnings of her career, how her personal tragedies appeared in her own analysis, and the faith she has in this iterative process that can withstand change due to its unique capacity for making challenges into grist for the mill.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

May 15, 2024 • 49min
Episode 44: Towards A Plurality
Mick Cooper is a British existentialist who is most interested in how humanistic psychology can play a role in social change. As a leader in pluralistic psychotherapy, he is wary of the monoliths we espouse even down to the most basic concepts that the relationship is curative. In this week’s episode, he discusses how research has made him more open to difference, the influence of Emmanuel Levinas and Martin Buber, and his own development through therapy, ever closer to dancing in the proverbial rain.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

May 1, 2024 • 55min
Episode 43: Ace Of Hearts
For Kj Swanson, an upbringing in Christian purity culture did not metabolize as trauma. It wasn’t until her queer awakening that she realized just how much it aligned with her identity. As an academic working in theology, Kj has always been interested in the heart of matters. This week, she discusses with John the various ways this commitment to meaning permeates her entire personality, including an emerging language signaling her place apart from compulsory sexuality.
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ

Apr 17, 2024 • 49min
Episode 42: Brothers From Another Good Enough Mother
For our first guest in years, John speaks with his friend Caleb Williams, a fellow psychotherapist in Seattle. Over dinner, they discuss Caleb’s affinity to the British psychoanalyst Neville Symington, their thoughts on narcissism and the neediness of masculinity. Less of an interview and more a study in the relationship of friend/colleague, John and Caleb reminisce about their own camaraderie and make meaning of the current discourse as two oldest brothers grappling with their own ambivalence.
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll

Apr 3, 2024 • 46min
Episode 41: The Years Between Us
In the premiere of season five, our host John Totten checks in with co-producer Mason Neely as they reflect on the last season of Between Us, the hiatus that followed, and the boundaries of the therapeutic purview. In a meandering conversation, John and Mason look inward at their own creative and family lives and forward to the upcoming season, a collection of dialogues and reflections that, in spite of an aimless production, emerged as far more thematic than intended.
Contact: betweenuspodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/betweenuspodcast/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/betweenuspod/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC4pPUTf_wRjNxHcCsFJoSSQ
Produced by John Totten and Mason Neely
Music by Mason Neely
Research Assistant: Rose Bergdoll