Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

If you've read my books, you know I write about the inner critic a lot. In fact, you can't escape me talking about the inner critic in most of my work. And guess what, this week’s podcast episode is all about the inner critic too. Because the way you speak to yourself, the thoughts that run through your mind and even how you speak about yourself to other people, matters. It matters significantly.Managing your inner critic was one of the first real tools I learned in my coach training. It blew my mind that you can actually learn how to manage this voice in your head. And, I’ve come a long way, y’all. A long way. I do want to be clear, managing your inner critic is not about completely eradicating your negative self talk. That’s never going to happen. Sorry, not sorry.Sometimes when we listen to people on podcasts or we read their self-help books, we can think, ”Well, I'm sure they have it all together. They don’t have these problems anymore. They're so evolved and have kicked their inner critic to the curb.” I'm here to tell you I still have bouts of anxiety. I still have inner critic spirals. I still have compare and despair issues, at times.In this episode I share some stories from my own life about where my inner critic shows up and the tools I use to manage. While on the surface it can look like someone has it all together, we’re all doing the work, one day at a time. The good news is this: you can create new neural pathways in your brain, to where you can you catch your inner critic very quickly. Then you don’t have to go down those seemingly never ending spirals of negative self talk, again and again. Got it? Good.In this episode you’ll hear: About the time I found myself in an inner critic spiral at a red light Some ways I manage my inner critic About the Inner critic and how it can show up in relationships The importance of recognizing your triggers Last thing, if you haven’t applied to be a part of The Mentorship Masterclass, there’s still time and a handful of spots open? If you’re a woman who’s ready to implement all the tools you hear about on this podcast, have accountability, be guided by me and surrounded by other amazing, kick-ass woman, you need to get your booty over the info page, and if you’re heart is like YES, PLEASE, fill out an application. <3http://yourkickasslife.com/270  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the podcast, I am super pumped to share with you my conversation with Keith McArthur. Keith is the creator of My Instruction Manual, a website, podcast and book series providing high-quality personal development and content. He is also the author of the new book, “Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All.” I’ve been on Keith’s podcast twice and know him to be an amazing interviewer. This week, y’all, the tables have turned and Keith is my guest!So back in January, I released an episode called, “New Year New You”, in which I said, loud and clear, that you do not need a morning routine or for that matter, any routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle. But yet, I also realize that the new year can be overwhelming for many. That’s why I invited Keith to the show to talk about ways to calm the New Year overwhelm, help shift our mindset around goal setting, and share what he knows about our environment and how it can affect goal achieving. Plus, he shares what values, shame and commitment have to do with it all. In this episode you’ll hear: Why we put so much pressure on ourselves at the start of a new year and how shame comes into play (11:49) Keith’s take on the “New Year, New You” mentality (13:27) The biggest mistake people make when creating a goal or resolution. Plus, some science-based strategies for achieving your biggest, baddest goals (16:19) How an accountability partner can help you with goals and the science behind finding the right accountability partner (25:03) Some ways to get back on track if you lose sight or abandon a goal, hint: think ahead! (27:43) Taking control of your environment and some ways to structure your environment for goal success (40:34) Lastly, ummm...why haven’t you applied to be a part of The Mentorship Masterclass? I know many of you have, but if you’re a woman who’s ready to implement all the tools you know and love (well, maybe like), have accountability, be guided by me and surrounded by other amazing, kick-ass woman, you need to get your booty over the info page, and if you’re heart is like YES, PLEASE, fill out an application. <3http://yourkickasslife.com/269   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the podcast I have something a little different. I know you like to hear stories from women in the YKAL community once in awhile, so I’ve brought you two of them. You might hear some of yourself in their stories! Both of these women have gone through my signature program, The Mentorship Masterclass, and I hope you’re inspired when you hear what they’ve gained in their lives.First we hear from Courtney. Courtney has struggled with shame, not even realizing it was such a driving force in her life. Courtney says when she would start to feel good in her life, her mind would automatically wander and take inventory of all the “bad things” she’d done (in psychology this is called “confirmation bias”-- the way we tend to search for or recall information that confirms our core beliefs. And often these core beliefs are negative.) You’ll hear what happened when Courtney was taught the steps of shame resilience and the tools to implement them on the regular.Honestly, this woman’s transformation brings tears to my eyes. I’ve had the honor to work with her most of 2018, seen the ups and downs of her journey, and her unwavering commitment to her growth-- albeit massively uncomfortable at times. I hope her story gives you hope for your own life as well.Then we hear from Karissa. Karissa is the type who stays “all up in her head”-- convinced she can think her way through things. Karissa says she was struggling with how to get from point A to point B when it came to personal development. Self-help to her, for a long time, was done through reading all the books and listening to all the podcasts. And as a perfectionist, she was really struggling with where to go next in her journey.Some of Karissa’s work focused on emotions, more specifically learning tools to walk through and process them, and trusting herself that she would be okay if she just let them ride.Both of these women share their journey from being a podcast listener and self-help book reader, to diving in deeper. We’re currently accepting applications for the next round of The Mentorship Masterclass, you can read all about it here and apply. I’d love to chat with you to see if it’s for you.http://yourkickasslife.com/268  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the podcast we are talking about consent and some other extremely vulnerable topics with guest, Karen B.K. Chan. Karen is an award-winning sex and emotional literacy educator in Toronto, Canada, with over 20 years of experience. She is trained in creative facilitation, productive thinking and nonviolent communication. I have had Karen on my podcast guest wishlist for such a long time. I was so enthralled with her website. I read ALL.THE.THINGS. she has created, watched her YouTube channel and more. She is an amazing Emotional Intelligence educator and I'm excited for you to hear our conversation.In this episode Karen and I talk a lot about emotions, so much emotions y’all. But not only do we talk about emotions, Karen provides insightful advice and information on how to actually deal with emotions, how to feel our feelings and do the work. We also dive into sexual consent; how to navigate it, how to overcome emotional and social barriers relating to consent and letting go of guilt for creating boundaries around sexual intimacy.In this episode you’ll hear: Some ways to better deal with our emotions (8:42) How learning to navigate your feelings can lead to an outlet of creative expression, especially writing (11:24) How to deal with emotions when you are stressed or burnt out (16:01) Being innovative in your personal relationships as it relates to empathy, emotion, human connection and clarity (18:58) Working to decrease unconscious biases in our lives (28:37) Social and emotional barriers to sexual consent and how we can overcome them (37:14) How to let go of guilt for creating boundaries around sexual intimacy or sexual encounters (46:21) http://yourkickasslife.com/267  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, ass kickers! Solo pod episode today, WHOOP! I start today’s show with a question from one of the amazing supporters over on Patreon (btw, the show is now listener supported! Check it out here.) Erica asks, “How can we celebrate our small wins on our self-development journey? Could there be a podcast on different ways we can encourage ourselves to look at how far we have come instead of focusing on our shortcomings?”Such a great question! I go into 5 or 6 different ways you can do this. Then, it’s off to the main content!A few weeks ago I was listening to Scene on Radio, an excellent podcast. It was episode 10, in season 3 where it was a man telling a story about his son going to 6th grade and the changes that took place-- I’ll let you listen to it (it’s REALLY good, please go listen to both season 2 and 3).There was a particular part where Terry Real, psychologist was talking and said something in particular that stopped me, and I had to pause the podcast, and cry. He talks about how children are made to “halve” themselves, to cut off certain parts of themselves (generally speaking for boys, it’s emotions). He talks about a certain age when “the patriarchy hits kids, lands on them, the psychic results can be severe”. He goes on to say, “Now if you read the literature on girls and girls development, that trauma-- and I use that word on purpose-- is traumatic to excise, to cut off half of your humanity, that trauma lands on girls about 11, 12, 13-- the edge of adolescence. That’s when they learn what Carol Gilligan calls ‘the tyranny of the nice and kind’. They learn to over accommodate and resent it. That’s the traditional set up. Fifty years of the women’s movement has changed that for a lot of girls and women, but it’s still part of the culture.”So, in essence, as we enter puberty, (and btw, he goes on in this episode to talk about how it hits even younger for boys), we learn about how to be. We learn to be nice and kind and accommodating. We learn to put others’ feelings, wants and needs before ours.Join me in this podcast episode as I explore this more, and ask a series of questions for you to answer about your own life to get the parts of you back that you were conditioned to let go of.Download the worksheet that accompanies this episode: http://yourkickasslife.com/266  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Allana Pratt, relationship intimacy expert, joins me on the podcast. She inspires open-hearted, unapologetic living. Allana and I go waaay back. She embodies such an amazing energy and has a true intimacy with herself, both of which I truly admire. She is divine.In this episode Allana and I talk about being vulnerable in relationships, cultivating rich, intimate relationships with ourselves, as well as, listening to our intuition. We also talk about the aging process and some ways we can embrace it with grace and humor. Plus, we talk about how to better harness our anger and the importance of releasing it in healthy ways.In this episode you’ll hear: Cultivating intimate relationships with ourselves and “In To Me I See” (11:00) Lack of trust and vulnerability in relationships: what you can do (12:52) What intimacy looks like for Allana and how she went from “victim to goddess” (19:32) Allana shares some ways to embrace and find humor in the aging process (27:07) Valuing your own self-worth and knowing you are enough (36:28) How to better harness your anger and/or rage (41:50) http://yourkickasslife.com/265  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have another great conversation this week, this time with love coach, Nicole Moore. Nicole helps powerful, amazing women find their ideal partner using her signature Love Works Method. Before you dismiss this episode, hang on! This episode is not just for singles. We talk about love in general. There’s a bunch of wisdom in this episode for singles and those partnered up. I hope you stick around and listen to this amazing conversation with Nicole. In this episode Nicole and I talk about rewriting your childhood love story and overcoming love trauma, shifting your awareness around love, and how you can let love in by looking at your mind-body connection. Plus, we dive into an important conversation about self-trust and your emotions, how to know if you’ve settled in a relationship, what “being love” means and the number one thing anyone can do to feel more confident.In this episode you’ll hear: Nicole’s story of being born into a world of lack of love, healing her own love wounds and what brought Nicole to her work as a love coach (7 minutes and 32 seconds) Looking for “the one” and being stuck in a story that there is something inherently wrong with you, plus how to rewrite your story (10:29) Standing in an inferno of emotions with self-trust and worthiness (16:02) What stops most people from finding the right romantic partner (18:34) How to know if you settled in a relationship (21:36) What “being love” means and what it has to do with making a relationship work (25:39) Complaints and disagreements with partners: some advice on giving voice to your fears (29:39) http://yourkickasslife.com/264  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back, ass kickers! This is the first interview episode of 2019 and I am super pumped to share my conversation with Thais Sky. Thais is a truthspeaker, healer, women’s coach and feminist on a heart-led mission to support the seekers, the edge-dwellers, and the "why the heck do I feel so broken” of the world reclaim their sense of belonging by learning how to explore, trust and express themselves unapologetically. Thais is so expressive and downright poetic, as you’ll hear. I loved my conversation with her and I hope you do too.This week, Thais and I talk about the worthiness wound, what contributes to it, some critical steps to take to reclaim your worth and how healing the worthiness wound is a radical act. We also talk about personal development and how we often hope someone will save us, but it really comes down to doing the work. We also touch on holding the human experience and being capable of navigating through triggers, thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we talk about whiteness, patriarchy, becoming radicalized and acknowledging that one can be both the oppressor and the oppressed (and how that doesn’t mean you are a bad person).In this episode you’ll hear: What reclaiming our sense of worthiness truly means  How to begin reclaiming your worth (and how it’s different from cultivating confidence)  Taking on the responsibility of others and hoping someone will save us Healing the “little girl” within (aka inner child work)  What contributes to the worthiness wound, and why we can’t talk about the worthiness wound without talking about whiteness  Acknowledging ableism and fat phobia  💥💥JOIN ME THIS SPRING! 💥💥If you’re ready to stop relying on your default coping mechanisms that end up making you feel like shit (isolating, numbing out, perfectionism, comparison, self-sabotage), then check out my signature program, Your Kick-Ass Life Mentorship. If it all resonates, there’s a link to fill out an application (application goes straight to me). Learn new, better coping mechanisms that make you feel proud, confident, and courageous.http://yourkickasslife.com/263  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m about to say something that goes against what you might be hearing from other self-help/motivational speakers/cheerleaders/thought leaders.You don’t need a morning routine if you don’t want one.Confession: I haven’t had a regular morning routine in about...well, never.I know there are self-help books specifically written about this. That scientists with glasses and white lab coats with clipboards have painstakingly studied the human effects of morning routines and found that it helps people Live Their Best Life.I know there are self-help people out there who have cute names for their lists of things they do in the morning, and keep telling you to get up an hour earlier than your early-rising children or dog, so that you can Live Your Best Life.I know you might feel like you’re doing it all wrong if you stumble out of bed and reach for your phone and coffee first thing.I know that the new year is full of NEW YEAR NEW YOU and that your morning routine feels like this *one thing* that you can change that will make 2019 your Best Year Ever.I know that you have probably made morning commitments in the past like: Meditating Working out Setting intentions Doing a coffee enerma so you can shit like a beast Pulling an angel card so you can conjure your spirits and guides to be able to Live Your Best Year and Best Life Ever. Or maybe it’s just me.I also know that in the past, I have regularly set my intentions of the day and that worked for a while. And now it looks different. And that I have told you about my morning routines and maybe you felt like if you did it too, you’d be Living Your Best Life.Here’s the thing: If you get up early and do whatever it is you need to do to set yourself up for the day, and you feel rested enough to do so and aren’t doing it because you think you have to-- if you do these things because it does in fact help you Live Your Best Life, then HELL YES, SISTER!Or, if you’ve tried a morning routine, and it’s made no significant positive changes in your life, then HELL YES, SISTER. You tried, and meh, it’s not for you.Or, If just the thought of all that makes you want to go back to bed, then HELL YES, SISTER. It might not be for you either.What I’m saying is watch out for the NEW YEAR NEW YOU trap that can make you feel like you’re doing it wrong. That can make you feel like you’re missing out, or that you’re not like everybody else. If you’d rather sleep the extra hour or 10 minutes, then sleep.If you follow someone on social media and you’re comparing your life to theirs, and it kind of seems like their life is too good to be true (it probably is), and it’s all making you feel shitty, then unfollow them.If they new year makes you feel motivated and inspired, then you do that. If the new year just feels like a new month and you’re just trying to keep your head above water, or you feel like the pace you’re going at is good for now, then you do that.There’s no right or wrong way to Live Your Best Life.💥💥JOIN ME THIS SPRING! 💥💥If you’re ready to stop relying on your default coping mechanisms that end up making you feel like shit (isolating, numbing out, perfectionism, comparison, self-sabotage), then check out my signature program, Your Kick-Ass Life Mentorship. If it all resonates, there’s a link to fill out an application (application goes straight to me). Learn new, better coping mechanisms that make you feel proud, confident, and courageous.http://yourkickasslife.com/262  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is AH-mazing. During our conversation, I even referred to him as an evangelist for love. An evangelist. for. love, y’all. Yes, I’m excited to introduce you to Kute Blackson. Kute is a charismatic visionary and transformational teacher who offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Oh, and did I mention, he’s also very intense. I love intense people. Kute joins me to talk about love; including self-love, living your own truth and what it means to live a fulfilled life. Plus, we talk about allowing yourself to feel pain, coping mechanisms and conditioning, questioning who you truly are and what Kute means when he says, “we are born-free.” As Kute so eloquently stated, love is the most important thing on the planet and the most important thing to experience while we are alive. And lastly, “Real healing happens in the space of love.” Hell-to-the-yes.In this episode you’ll hear: Kute’s deep calling to serve humanity, following his own truth and integrity and how he began on a path to helping other people find themselves (8:15) What stops us from being fulfilled and free (13:23) How to reconnect with your heart and body to get to your own truth, plus 3 questions to ask yourself to help you get there (14:38) The layers that cover up your true self, coping mechanisms and shifting your conditioning (18:31) Creating your own opportunities, and add value to others lives (43:05) http://yourkickasslife.com/261  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices