Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

This week on the podcast I turned the mic on after a moment of feeling inspired and riffed for about 30 minutes or so about the fear of shining too bright. Every once in a while I feel like there’s a podcast episode I REALLY want you to hear, and this is one of them. Because I honest to goodness think we all struggle here. Our culture tells us not to shine too bright. Don’t draw too much attention to yourself, don’t brag, don’t take credit or praise or compliments, don’t take up too much space, don’t shine too much because you’ll make others uncomfortable and you’ll just look bad. Even if we don’t consciously think these things, these core beliefs can be embedded in our DNA. Our mothers and our mother’s mothers were taught this too. So, I break it down in the episode, plus give you some strategies to help you unlearn this and start shining. BECAUSE WE NEED MORE OF YOUR SHININESS. 🌟🔥🌟P.S. If this episode speaks to you, I invite you to check out The Mentorship. Our fear of outshining comes from deep-rooted shame, more specifically our desire to avoid shame. The Mentorship teaches you the steps of shame resilience, among many other tools to implement in your life to be the best version of yourself you can be.P. P. S. Podcast art this week is one of my favorite pictures of my daughter and me trying on hats. There she is in all her shiny glory. Multicolored skirt, striped leggings, and Hello Kitty cowboy boots.http://yourkickasslife.com/321  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jeanette LeBlanc is back on the YKAL podcast! She is the author of You Are Not Too Much: Love Notes of Heartache, Redemption, and Reclamation. Through her work, her writing, and today’s conversation, she offers a different take on how to reclaim your wants, needs, and desires. (We’re doing a GIVEAWAY of Jeanette’s book, so make sure you listen to know how to win a copy!)Women often will put up with suffering or bullshit before deciding to walk away from a crappy situation. It takes a wild amount of courage to step into a life transition. Jeanette believes, “Sometimes our stories are the only things that can save us.”In this episode, we talk about acknowledging (and honoring) our deep revelations and having the willingness to step into them with radical honesty. Of course, there may be circumstances where you can’t step into your truth and Jeanette shares how her work gives voice to those who are unable to speak out. In this episode, you’ll hear: Jeanette’s desire to be in a place of truth and transparency and her journey to get there (5:00) Sharing your truth for the first time is the first and most important step (14:03) Why it is important to acknowledge there is risk to speak your truth and why Jeanette sees her work as the voice for those who can’t (21:00) Jeanette shares an alter ego exercise to help you step into your truest self (31:16) http://yourkickasslife.com/320  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I have another coaching episode for you, on the topic of money. A few months ago Melanie joined me for a two-part coaching session on money and self-worth. But, the topic of money varies widely, from person to person. In fact, the topic of money is always nuanced and deeply personal. In this episode, Erica, who was in my signature program, Mentorship Masterclass, joins me to talk about her beliefs about money. I have a feeling many will relate to what she has to say about how she feels about money and how she wants to change her mindset about it. In this episode you’ll hear: Erica shares her issues with limiting beliefs around money, as well as her shopping and spending habits (7:00) Redirecting your thoughts and feelings about money (10:00) Some of the stories we make up about people whose finances appear to be in tip-top shape (13:20) We explore the question, “What if having the urge to spend is actually okay?” (19:00) Accepting the process, understanding behaviors and realizing that personal development work is almost never linear (27:00) A kick-ass update from Erica about shifting her beliefs around money, complete with a photo of her money crown project (see below)! (43:35) http://yourkickasslife.com/319  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I welcome Dr. Valerie Rein to the YKAL podcast. Dr. Valerie discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the collective, inherited trauma of oppression. She is also the author of Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment.  I met Dr. Valerie at an event late last year. I serendipitously sat at her table and as she was talking about her work and her book, I was enamored. In fact, I invited her onto the podcast on the spot. Her work is important, interesting, and backed by science.When it comes to the patriarchy, as women, there is a deeper issue going on then the blame game. We are not going to heal by pointing fingers. My conversation with Dr. Valerie is just one step of many that will help move women towards healing from the patriarchy. In this episode you’ll hear: How Dr. Valerie discovered PSD and how her search began with asking the question, “What is wrong with me?” (5:00) Oppression is traumatic and it is deep in our DNA (10:04) Patriarchy does not equal men and men do not equal patriarchy, patriarchy is a system that has been oppressive and disempowering to women (14:00) PSD is the invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment and trauma defenses: mind, body, and action (15:00) Some of the symptoms or circumstances of PSD (and yes, we all have it) (19:00) Dr. Valerie’s message to men and how to bring them into the conversation and still take care of ourselves (32:06) http://yourkickasslife.com/318  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At the end of 2019, Facebook memories told me I posted this 10 years ago...I found it so interesting that I’d posted this (I don’t at all remember what was going on that day), as the decade that was approaching did end up being a decade of tremendous change for me. Seeing this prompted me to think about the entire decade and do a “decade in review”. I thought I would share it with you in hopes that you see some of yourself in this and gain some insight from some of my own life lessons. In the episode, I start with January 2010, when I had a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, was finishing up my life coaching certification hours, and blogging under liveyourideallife.com. There were two moves across the United States, two book deals, sobriety, discovering our son had special needs, playing roller derby, my dad dying, and more. You’ll hear about the thing that truly threw me for a loop, and prompted a withdrawal and what that looked like for me. Ending the decade with an offer I couldn’t refuse. I close the episode with some life lessons I’ve learned on being a working mom, aging, and what it means to be happy. I hope you tune in and do your own decade in review! Lastly, applications are opening in February for the Mentorship Masterclass, my signature program. Head over to get on the list to be the first to be notified.  http://yourkickasslife.com/317  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s been a minute since I brought you an episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. If you’ve been hanging on to the edge of your seat waiting for the next one to appear in your podcast feed, well, today is your lucky day. Conversations About Shit That Matters is back! If you are new to this series, it features candid conversations with my real-life friends about stuff that happens in everyday life. This is not an episode that offers expert advice, tools or tips. Instead, my friends (who may be experts in other fields) and I come on to talk, explore, and share about specific topics affecting our lives and the world in which we live. This week, returning guest Kate Anthony joins me to talk about anxiety and depression. We’ve both struggled with anxiety, and Kate with depression. In this episode, we share our experiences and how we navigate these challenges in our own lives. We do also share some of the strategies we employ in our own self-care regimens. But please note, we are not licensed professionals around this topic. I really hope you enjoy this conversation! In this episode you’ll hear: Our experiences with anxiety in childhood and our teen years (7:16) Kate shares her experience with depression and about when her depression and anxiety began to manifest (23:00) My story about how I was diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder and how I felt so betrayed by my own body (25:00) Anxiety and depression medication that helped us and some of the side effects we had (27:00) Our self-care practices and strategies for navigating anxiety and depression (36:01) http://yourkickasslife.com/316  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Last week I sent out an email telling you all that January 2nd was the second birthday for How to Stop Feeling Like Shit. Over 170,000 copies sold and more than half of those are the audiobook version. It fills my heart with immense gratitude knowing that so many of you have read or listened to HTSFLS. In this podcast episode, I go over what shame has to do with all of the 14 habits I write about in the book. From Isolating and numbing out, to perfectionism and overachieving, it all has to do with shame. I go on to talk more specifically about some in regards to all the habits. In talking about this book for the last two years, I heard which behaviors resonated the most with all of you. Tune in to the episode to see which ones! The thing is, the real work happens when we take action. Reading books and listening to podcasts is fantastic, and the thing that’s going to allow you to have the most momentum and see the biggest results is when you take what you read or listen to and integrate it into your life. As I mention in the episode, as a gift you, you can download the PDF version of all the “hard questions” from the chapters in HTSFLS below. Resources mentioned in this episode:How To Stop Feeling Like Shit Episode 312: Sexuality and Spiritual Awakening with Jessica Graham Listen and Subscribe to Not Another Self-Help Podcasthttp://yourkickasslife.com/315  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the podcast, I am re-broadcasting my conversation with Keith McArthur because NEW YEAR NEW YOU, right? Keith is the author of the book, “Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All.” He’s also the creator of My Instruction Manual, a website, podcast and book series providing high-quality personal development and content. I’ve been on Keith’s podcast twice and know him to be an amazing interviewer. So, about a year ago, I released an episode called, “New Year New You” (ep 262), in which I said, loud and clear, that you do not need a morning routine or for that matter, any routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle. But yet, I also realize that the new year can be overwhelming for many. That’s why I invited Keith to the show to talk about ways to calm the New Year overwhelm, help shift our mindset around goal setting, and share what he knows about our environment and how it can affect goal achieving. Plus, he shares what values, shame and commitment have to do with it all.  In this episode you’ll hear: Why we put so much pressure on ourselves at the start of a new year and how shame comes into play (11:49) Keith’s take on the “New Year, New You” mentality (13:27) The biggest mistake people make when creating a goal or resolution. Plus, some science-based strategies for achieving your biggest, baddest goals (16:19) How an accountability partner can help you with goals and the science behind finding the right accountability partner (25:03) Some ways to get back on track if you lose sight or abandon a goal, hint: think ahead! (27:43) Taking control of your environment and some ways to structure your environment for goal success (40:34) Lastly, my new creative project with Amy Smith, Not Another Self-Help Podcast drops THIS FRIDAY, January 3rd! Please go take a listen, subscribe, and tell us what you think!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Announcement! Not Another Self-Help Podcast is coming! Amy and I need your personal development questions so hit us up here. Also, we’d be honored if you listened to our first two episodes which drop Friday, January 3rd! Two weeks ago was all about looking back on not just 2019, but the entire decade that’s ending. If you haven’t listened to that one, check out episode 309, plus there’s a free journaling PDF.Let’s start with the basics: values and the way you speak to yourself.Some people love to have a word of the year, and values work could be married together with that. I talk about values at length in How To Stop Feeling Like Shit, and I’ll give you a crash course here. This will be an important refresher for those of you who’ve done values work before. Think about a time in your life where you were proud of yourself. Maybe you took action on something you were afraid to do. Maybe you left a relationship, set a boundary with someone, told someone how you felt or went to a party where you didn’t know anyone. Think of that time. What was the value you were honoring then? It might have been courage for being brave enough to do something scary. Or, authenticity for showing up as your best self. Or honesty and integrity for speaking up about something that was important to you. Or, trust for trusting yourself enough to walk away from a situation you know wasn’t good for you. It might be ALL of those things, but what are the values that stand out to you the most? I’m thinking of the many clients I’ve had over the last decade and the brave things they’ve done. I had a client who had a strained relationship with her mother, who sat down, planned out everything she wanted to say to her mother and had the talk. Years of resentment, frustration, and hurt came together in a conversation she was proud of. She honored courage, honesty, and authenticity. I’ve had a few clients start new businesses and quit their jobs. Honoring meaningful work, creativity, and determination. I’m thinking of a client I had who had a difficult year-- the most difficult year of her life. So much loss and struggle...that time in her life she honored perseverance, self-trust, and optimism. So again, what values have you honored over the last decade? Sure, you’ve probably wanted to honor more of them, and maybe didn’t. Don’t dwell on those. Your mind may want to point out all the aspired values you have and didn’t do. That you wanted to be more courageous, that you wanted to focus more on your growth or have more balance in your life. For the sake of this exercise, let that go for now. The reason I want you to think of these values, to think about the behaviors you’ve done in the past that have made you proud of who you are, is because those are a key to looking ahead. If you’re proud of the courageous thing you did this year, and thinking about that feeling is gratifying, your next step is to think about how you can get more of that in your life in this year coming up. Let me remind you, that it’s typically never about the thing you do or want to do, it’s about the feeling you’ll get from having done it or the experience you’ll have while doing it. For example, when I write books, it’s not about the book. It’s about having written it, the pride I get in having done this BIG thing, and honoring my values along the way. Listen to today’s episode to hear more about the next important tool I want you to focus on in the new year, and that’s your self-talk. http://yourkickasslife.com/313  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As soon as I met this week’s guest, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. That is why I am thrilled to introduce you to Jessica Graham. She is a spiritual and sexual activist, author of the book, Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Out, meditation teacher, and sex and intimacy guide. I first met Jessica when we had a chance meeting, in a cab, in Holland. I am so glad that the universe aligned and put us into each other’s orbit. At the time of our meeting, I had been feeling the pull to do some inner work around the areas of sex and sexuality. I knew I needed someone to help guide me. Jessica’s message resonated with me, we shared a lot of things in common, and to make a long story short, we’ve been working together since the Spring. She’s my sexuality doula and she’s been enormously helpful.Today we talk about shame, the messaging we receive as a children about sex and sexuality, and what that all means. We also talk about the common struggle women face when it comes to their feelings around sex. Plus, Jessica shares how the combination of affirmation and mindfulness can help with sex and intimacy. My hope is that our conversation will encourage you to explore inner work around your own sexuality and spiritual awakening. In this episode you’ll hear: About Jessica and her work, and how she is a sex coach who is more than a sex coach (13:00) The struggles and shame around the topic of sex and sexuality (15:36) What brought Jessica to her work as a sexuality, relationship, and self-love guide (19:52) Sexuality inventory: what it is and what’s the purpose (23:00) The most common struggle women face around sexuality and how Jessica helps with the desired outcome (30:00) Why self-compassion is so important to any kind of personal development work (47:00) Oh and by the way, to celebrate the launch of the new Your Kick-Ass Life website, we’re running a giveaway! It costs zero dollars to enter, we’ve made it ridiculously easy to enter (and you can enter more than once), and all you have to do is click HERE.http://yourkickasslife.com/312  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices