Making Polyamory Work

Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties.

Libby and Jules answer a listener who asks, "If boundaries are between you and you, then what is a boundary violation?" Jules also goes over her 6 steps to setting an external boundary. Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that Stick: https://bookshop.org/p/books/setting-boundaries-that-stick-how-neurobiology-can-help-you-rewire-your-brain-to-feel-safe-connected-and-empowered-juliane-taylor-shore/19642175

Explore the complexities of setting boundaries in relationships, especially in non-monogamous dynamics. Learn how boundaries can promote brain integration for emotional well-being and resilience. Discover the importance of self-awareness and integrity in navigating intense emotions and maintaining self-worth.

The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it often is used to shame and pathologize perfectly normal human needs, and how she likes to talk about codependence differently.

A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby explains that boundaries are not a magic way to get people to do what you want them to do.

Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. Yet, year after year, established couples seek to find a shared partner, and many folks also seek relationships with established couples. Is there something to this? In this episode, Libby offers some thoughts on why you might want to date as a couple (or date a couple) and some helpful ideas on how to do this well.

Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems like a solution. In this episode, Libby outlines why it's rarely that simple.

Exploring the challenges and limitations of polyamorous relationships, discussing the destructive power of love, weighing the dilemma of polyamory in a monogamous relationship, and reflecting on accepting reality and honoring love.

Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship energy (NRE) phase might not be the best idea, and what to do instead.

We all carry stories with us about who we are, our place in the world, how others will see us, and what's possible for our lives. Some of these stories are stories we like, some are stories we want to write a new ending to. But did you know that try as you might to change the story, there's an invisible force that may be acting on you that might sabotage your efforts? In this episode, Libby talks about how your very own brain can stop you from changing your story, and some ideas for what you can do about that. Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9780358645597 Juliane Taylor Shore: https://www.cleariskind.com/ Implicit memory and memory reconsolidation: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10615-020-00754-z