Unhurried Living | Helping Christians Rest Deeper & Lead Better

Today we are talking about thoughts. We begin with  "You are not your thoughts. You have thoughts."   The first time I heard this I, of course, understood every single word. And yet it seemed like a foreign concept to me. What do you mean I'm not my thoughts? They're in my head, it's my voice, of course it's me! Another way of saying this is: You are more than your thoughts. You have thoughts. But you are not your thoughts. This is such a freeing insight. Because it means you have the choice to move toward objectivity when you notice certain thoughts floating through your brain. Especially the unhelpful ones. Please tell me I'm not the only one that has unhelpful thoughts. Anxiety-producing, control-enacting, fear-inducing, judgment-oriented thoughts. These are not my best move, but isn’t it easy to slide into these dynamics? Once I understood that I was not my thoughts and that I have thoughts, I realized I was able to make a choice. But this is harder than it looks. Sure, I could make a choice, but there are many steps between where I am now and a whole new way of behaving. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We are continuing our series on Alan's book, What Does Your Soul Love? .  Today we are talking about the chapter on "Control.” The core question around which this chapter revolves is this: “What Are You Clinging To?” In a conversation with friends on the topic of control in leadership, they tackle the idea that leadership and control are not the same thing.  Many of the ways in which Christian leaders want to influence others are not exactly controllable. You can’t control people in the same way you might be able to control things. And when our leadership happens in the context of God’s kingdom, we might want to ask what effect our attempts to take control have in light of God’s presence and power.  Connect with Alan at UnhurriedLiving.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Picture this...you are at the gym and you’re getting ready to lift some weights. It’s been a while, but you’ve decided to go for it. The barbell is in your hands and you are prepared to lift it up over your head.But before you do so, a guy walks over to you and says, “I bet you can lift more than that. Here, let me help you.” You protest, but he insists and then he proceeds to add 20 more pounds to each side. And then he just walks away, no cheering you on, and no coaching.You try to lift the barbell but it won’t budge. What you thought was going to be a profitable time of exercise just turned into a dead-weight hit and run that stalls your workout.The dynamic of control is like those extra 40 pounds--extra, unnecessary weight. Control can take an otherwise regular situation and turn it into an un-liftable challenge.And the irony is that we are that guy who added the extra weight. We do it to ourselves!Bearing up under the weight of control takes its toll. We find we are unable to keep going while carrying the world on our shoulders. Much of the stress in our lives is caused by expectations, as well as trying to control situations so they turn out the way we think they should.What would it look like to give up control? Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Alan shares his conversation with Justin Whitmel Earley about his latest book Habits of the Household. A few years ago, we shared a conversation about his first book, the award-winning Common Rule (you can go back to episode 72 to listen to that conversation). Justin's book extends his insights into a personal rule of life into how to cultivate a rule of life for a family. At the time he wrote the book, he and his wife, Lauren, had three young boys and another on the way. What he writes has plenty of insight for households of many kinds as Holy habits extend from personal practice to community practice.  Justin Whitmel Earley is a writer, speaker, and lawyer from Richmond, Virginia, and the author of the award-winning book on habits and spiritual formation, The Common Rule. But most of all, Justin is a dad who is married to Lauren and spends a lot of time wrestling his four young boys.  Connect with Justin on IG @justinwhitmelearleyConnect with Alan at UnhurriedLiving.comUnhurried Living Podcast episode 72 with Justin Whitmel Early on Common Rule   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We are living at a time when rampant contempt and disregard for humanity fill our daily newsfeeds. This is not limited to North America or Western culture; it’s occurring worldwide. We don’t even hear all of the terrible things that are happening, but what we do hear is now beyond unbearable. Like so many others who are speaking out about this problem, I don’t have easy answers. So, from my heart, I am asking that we continue to be people of blessing. We can be present in our own very real lives. Day by day. Moment by moment. We can bridle our own tongue, monitor our own anger, and guard our own heart. And we can will the good of another—one person at a time.Dallas Willard has said that a “blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. It isn’t merely words. It is the actual putting forth of your will for the good of another person. It always involves God. Only God is capable of bringing good to another. We naturally say, ‘God bless you,’ and that’s right. You bless someone when you will their good by invoking God on their behalf. This is the nature of blessing. God wants us to receive blessing from Him and extend it to others.”Right now, recall and savor one way God has blessed you.Out of gratitude for that blessing, what might it look like for you to put forth your will for the good of another person today? God is present. He loves you. Let that overflow, and be a blessing. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today Alan is sharing some personal thoughts on the chapter in his book What Does Your Soul Love? on “Fear.” The core question around which this chapter revolves, no surprise, is “What Are You Afraid Of?” It’s a challenge that we all face. It’s been said that the most common word of command God gives in the Scriptures is “Do not fear.”  Alan hopes that what he has to share in today’s episode will help you enter into the encouraging gift of this command.  Learn more about Alan at UnhurriedLiving.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you are in the middle of a season of change, you likely feel out of place, neither here nor there. You feel the need for some fresh air, some energy to keep going. If you are at the end of a season of change, you may be tired. You desire to celebrate, but you can’t keep your eyes open. Plus, the next project is looming before you and you don’t know if you have time to celebrate. Here is a passage on which you can hang your hat no matter what stage of your process you are in. It’s from Isaiah 26:7-9, The Message… The path of right-living people is level.    The Leveler evens the road for the right-living.We’re in no hurry, God. We’re content to linger    in the path sign-posted with your decisions.Who you are and what you’ve done    are all we’ll ever want.Through the night my soul longs for you.    Deep from within me my spirit reaches out to you.When your decisions are on public display,    everyone learns how to live right.  Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In today’s episode, Alan speaks with his friend and bishop, Todd Hunter. His most recent book is titled Deep Peace: Finding Calm in a World of Conflict and Anxiety. It’s a pretty timely topic, wouldn’t you say? Statistics over these last couple of years tell us that anxiety is at perhaps an all-time high. And you don’t have to go much further than your social media or news feed to see the levels of conflict in our time.  One of the simple statements Todd has shared more than once goes, in part, like this: “If it can be done in anxiety, it can be done better in peace.” Alan shares that this has been a bit of ongoing spiritual direction that he’s returned to countless times. He’s come to find that peace is a far better foundation for good living, good relationships and good work that anxiety or anger have ever been.  IG @bishoptoddhunter Connect with Alan at www.unhurriedliving.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Over the years, as I engaged in various forms of group exercise, I’ve collected some helpful tips from many fitness instructors. I’ve been able to narrow some of these ideas into an acronym that may help you formationally.Many of the same principles that grow us physically can also be translated into our formational inner work. So let’s take a look at ARC: Ability, Rhythm and Core.ABILITY - Start where you are.RHYTHM - Engage healthy rhythms.CORE - Let your believing  become knowing  through practice. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What would it look like for you to slow down your inner pace as you converse with someone else? Here are five ways you can practice being present and listening to another person: Begin to quiet your mind as you listen. We all have distractions, but begin to practice setting aside your own inner whirlwind for a bit. Let the life of the person in front of you come to center stage. Quiet your own mind and tune in to what they are saying. Be at rest in their presence. Let God’s love for the person enter into your heart. This is the time for empathy. Remind yourself that this person is loved by God exactly as they are. Let God’s reality become yours. As you listen, let your heart fill with love for them. Whatever they share, you know that God is already there. God is accomplishing His work in their life. You can become a conduit for God’s love by opening yourself to God as you listen. Resist the temptation to problem-solve. It is easy for us to move directly into problem-solving or advice-giving mode. Watch out for this tendency. Most people truly just need to be heard. As they are talking things out, they often stumble upon their own solution. Even if they don’t, your humble, listening ear is still a gift they may not find anywhere else. Don’t rob them of the beauty of simply sharing their life. Think about what God might have on His heart for the person. Listening to the person and at the same time listening to God—this is an art form we can learn. As you listen, remain open to the heart of God. How might God feel toward this person? What might God desire for their life? Respond with invitations and questions. When you respond, try to do so in a way that shows you really heard them. Let your response be filtered through the question “What would God desire for them?” For example, you could replace “You know what you should do…” with “What is God inviting you to in this situation?” Give them space to thoughtfully respond. Listening can help us learn that we do not always have to be “on” or fix other people. The Lord Himself is working His own processes in each of our lives. We can learn to be true friends, mentors, & influencers as we cooperate with Him. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.