Help Me Be Me

This is about the value of stepping back from your preoccupations to do more nothing. Busyness is a cultural habit that is also an addiction. Physiologically as well as on a level of personal identity. Are you one of those people who is sooo busy and you can’t tell where the time is going? When you see someone and they ask how you are – do you find yourself inclined to say, “I am soooo busy.” It’s a state we can all relate to. It’s also often a boast hidden in a complaint. Culturally we have all agreed to take on this state of life – thanks to texting and smart phones and email and social media. They are making you mentally connected to all people and obligations and stores and humans simultaneously. Hence- the empty private time with yourself, alone is gone! The biggest downside of the busyness pattern is you trade your life, day by day, to this insecurity. It can happen without you noticing, quite simply because your not present. You are caught up in your busy thoughts. So that’s what today’s podcast is about: slowing down – and stopping. Literally, I am going to promote the idea of doing nothing. Nothing but being. Hanging out. Nothing on your agenda. No one to respond to – nothing to pick up, attend, return. When was the last time you sat in an extended amount of time – like that? The episode has three parts. Part 1: Why aim to do nothing. Part 2: Self-Diagnosis. Part 3: 3 Tools to help you free up your time. And to download the Journal Exercises mentioned in the episode head here: https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/busyness AND if from April-June 2015, if you haven’t yet, please enter the Headspace contest to win a year awesome mind-soothing meditations! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest This episode is dedicated to Irene May Bates - my grandmother and one of my heroes. She makes the most valuable moments in your day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi peeps! This is a power-up episode to create one small positive change in yourself starting today. I want you to look at one thing in your life that you can and will change for the better. Because it's all about upkeep and the trajectory as a whole. What can you do today that will take no effort at all? Let's tackle that together - because you would be amazed at how easy change is when you don't feel the affects one tiny bit. It's spring, y'all! Let's do some soul cleaning! For more of my writing and to sponsor me head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com I heart you all! Smile! xo Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, This is my personal list of what to look for when choosing a therapist, plus a few basic tactics to attack the task. Take what helps and leave the rest! It’s an amazing and important gift to give yourself and it’s more worth it than anything you will spend money on for the rest of your life – quite simply, because it will change your life – everything about it and everyone in it – for the better. I send you my love and positivity – and if you have time, please please leave me a review on iTunes – it’s super important to me and I love to read them. And if you haven’t already, please enter the contest to win a year of Headspace! If you are listening to this in the months of April to June 2015. Enter here: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest For the blog version check out http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com later this week! xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is currently romantically involved with someone who is not treating you well and you are taking it, and it hurts. You know it’s not right but you can’t seem to leave it for some reason. This situation betrays your foundational values, and in staying in it, you betray yourself and what’s important to you. What do you want for your future? Because you get to decide what’s important to you. That’s what this episode is about. Are you tolerating and accepting less than what you want from another? Are you giving more and receiving less? Are you operating on less than a trustworthy bond? Are you dating someone who won’t commit to you or maybe they don’t want the same things you want but you’re still hanging around “just because you don’t have anything better at the moment.” Maybe you are in a committed relationship but you want more – you want better – you want this to go to the next stage: moving in, getting married, or just better treatment – but this person is “complicated” and it’s not how they roll. Maybe you break up occasionally but always end up getting back together. Maybe they decide they need a break and then they come back again as soon as you become too visibly independent. In case you are wondering, yes, this is for every gender and all kinds of relationships because it’s a topic that relates to your relationship with yourself. It doesn’t have to be a guy doing this to a girl – everyone can be squirrely and everyone can want and expect a real relationship from a person they choose to share their life and soul with. It’s all a valid and realistic dream and goal to have. And it’s something you choose for yourself. It’s a common situation to be in for an adult. You end up in a relationship that’s not aligned with what you want for yourself and you can’t figure out an exit and you just kind of get stuck. What I am going to do is hopefully enlighten you as to why you’re there and what needs to change for you to confront the change that needs to happen for you to get to where you’re meant to be. Where are you meant to be? In a mutually loving and supportive relationship based on the terms and values that you choose for yourself. So, with someone who deserves your love. So let’s go there together, shall we? Emma this one is written for you. I hope it changes the way you see things so that you can change what it is that has you stuck, presently. xo! For more of my writing head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com To check out the Personal Priorities Pond I mention in the episode, head here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi loves, this is to use anytime this week or this month – it’s a little tool for regaining control of the wheel of your person, in the face of enduring places, people or situations that are not to your liking. It’s called “Happy Place.” The situation, though it sucks and tests your tolerance and ability to pursue what you want despite this situation – is NOT helped by your succumbing to focusing on the pain and unhappiness. Anger is toxic to your body so you are not only hurting your physical health, you are actively causing yourself MORE agony by focusing on it while it’s happening. Often we have an unconscious habit of savoring the sheer magnitude of annoyances in our life and relishing our increased stress or fatigue or the level of idiocy around ourselves. That unconscious savoring is your worst enemy. Is taking time to acknowledge what it is you don’t like and you might not even notice you’re celebrating it again and again because it’s a habit. So now’s the podcast power up to make note of it! The stupid-crap-from-my-day-celebrations stop today! This week! Yay for today! For more of my writing- including my newsletter, head to Teaspoonofhappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is self work? It’s acknowledging something in yourself that needs to be addressed for the sake of growing. It’s what you decide to do when you look at your life and decide you’re not so stoked to be where you are. It’s a moment of clarity – or fed-up-ness with the conditions of yourself and your inability to do anything about them – maybe you’ve been stuck in a pattern you want to break, or you looked up one day and realized you aren’t where you thought you’d be and time is flying by. Most importantly, self-work is the beginning of your life in many ways. It’s the moment you become aware that you have the power to create the self you want to be, in every shape and form – and because that is such an epic and wonderful thing – you make the decision to act on that information by taking steps in an educated direction toward doing that work. And what a profoundly exciting move that is. In my opinion, it’s the best decision you could ever make in your life. I gotta admit, this post made me a bit choked up. I hope you enjoy it – and if you did, please visit my new Patreon.com profile! If you like this content, please support it – any amount counts. Sending you my love and lots and lots of positivity. xox Smile my lovely friends! Xox Sarah-May B. To sponsor this podcast, you can visit: https://www.patreon.com/sarahmayb If you have a moment, please take this survey - it will help me help you, better – which is what I dream to do! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/survey Thanks in advance! xoxo And, I hope you dig my new Podcast theme - it's by Booker Hill Music, right here on Soundcloud! Check 'em out! https://soundcloud.com/booker-hill-music/treetops?in=booker-hill-music/sets/all Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Personal Lily-pads: A Self-Esteem Building Exercise Around Priorities Hi peeps, this is an exercise for you to use to improve your personal alignment with your priorities and simultaneously boost self-esteem. It’s actually a process used to heal in any injury in the body – you strengthen the muscles around the area that has been injured in order to give it the time and support to heal. For example, when you hurt your shoulder, you might be told by doctors to strengthen the muscles around it. The same goes for your personality. The more of yourself that you dedicate to diverse passions and strengths, the stronger you become and the more confident you feel. It’s also how you can heal yourself the most quickly. When it comes to a painful loss of a part of your definitions of self, your other passions and roles can grow bigger and help support you in the place of what is gone. So if you are looking to become more stable and confident, this is a self-esteem building exercise for you – and I HIGHLY recommend you do it in a journal. It’s a process that applies to everyone and it has to do with the various skills and passions and practices that identify you to you. For more of my writing head to teaspoonofhappy.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your relationship with your parents can be attached to a lot of big feelings of hurt or anger because it’s such a major relationship in your life! Your parents! So if you are struggling with your relationship to them it can be emotionally overwhelming to say the least. So this is a podcast for when you end up getting hurt by your parents so you cut them out of your life in some degree to protect yourself. Maybe you hide things from them because you know they won’t be able to understand, or you try desperately to get their approval and they never give it no matter what. OR maybe you try to keep a balance but always getting burned in the end by something thoughtless they do to you. Or maybe you’ve cut them out of your life altogether because it’s just too painful. So if any of this sounds familiar, this is a podcast for you. Because this is one of the most relevant relationships of your life, it can have a really powerful affect on your emotions and your understanding of your very self. This one’s for Ken – thanks for the suggestion! This is a big topic and is sure to reach a lot of people – thank you!! For more of my writing head to http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com and check out the blog for the written version of this podcast. I send you my love and if you have any requests, by all means send me an email! Smile y’all! Xoxoo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, yes, this is a melodramatic title but it’s because this is a big deal and it’s causing millions of people to suffer from a whole slew of different side effects. Maybe you’ve felt it – anxiety, worry, a lack of focus. You feel hollow and nothing seems to quench it. You get a little retail therapy because you’re kind of just “meh” about life, just unfulfilled. It’s a modern condition that robs many across the globe of their happiness, inner peace, and keeps them trapped in helpless inaction. What I am explaining is a false identity of “self” that manifests from the dominance of our thoughts. Thoughts that appear to us as the voice of our soul – that dictate how we are feeling, what we want, what we need, what we’re worried about – what we should be doing. And often, all at once. Our thoughts often won’t shut up regardless of how hard we try to soothe and distract. They also mislead us into thinking we can find happiness and relief if we just follow their orders. But this is what this episode is about. The condition is the thoughts have staged a coo. Contrary to how it might feel, thoughts are not You. Think of them right now as they are passing through your mind. They narrate in your voice. They chatter of needs, they report feelings – but these thoughts are not “YOU.” Who are you then? You are the one observing your thoughts. You are a being – you are Awareness. Whichever term appeals to you more. One perceiving the physical through the use of this body. And at one point in your life – probably so far back that you can’t remember it, you had no thoughts like this. You had no constant inner monologue. You were probably around 7 years old, sitting in a classroom – bored, but your mind was completely silent. No narration. Just you, there, totally present, and observing. So if you suffer from this condition, I am going to describe how it works, in my laymen’s words in the hopes that you will be able to understand it and then perceive it. The tools to help it? The tool is just this podcast. It’s aim is to remind you that you are Awareness. That’s all. How to get outside of this prison. This is for you, Christina! Hope you like it!! xox Smile y'all! For more of my writing head to http://www,TeaspoonOfHappy.com I will post the blog version of this later this week. If you want to do your own reading, this information is all straight out of two books, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Dr. Joe Dispenza Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all. Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong! If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. For more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. (This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices