Help Me Be Me

This is a power-up for ambivalence about a big life decision – like leaving a relationship, trying a new career or having a baby! This is a power-up episode structured like a conversation between you and me. This is about how to decide whether or not to have a baby, but I also think it could apply to any issue. So if you’re on the fence about kids and you’re running out of time – this is for you. And I know that this is a polarizing topic – so if you listen to this, know that it’s a personal opinion, not a "should" – and i do not believe my opinion is better than others. So don’t take offense to anything I say and if it doesn’t feel right for you, leave it. It has the potential to bring up some weird feelings in some people – especially if you have issues with childhood and parents – so that is my big fat caveat. Heads up - this topically leans more toward women! For more of my writing or to make a donation, check out Yaywithme.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now. When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way. For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works! So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard. I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com To donate head to Yaywithme.com/donate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take. If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I have to honor of speaking with Billy Merritt, actor, writer, improviser– and one of the founding fathers of The Swarm at The Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv comedy theater and school, well known in LA and NY. Today we are going to talk about lots of things – but in particular, how the tools of improv can help you be more present and comfortable in your own skin on and off the stage. For more about Billy, check out The Smokes - Monday at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles or The Swarm, the first Saturday of every month at UCB Sunset, or find him on Twitter @BillyMerritt Heads up! We got cut off during our first recording session so you'll hear the sound change as we pick back up about half way through. Sorry if we repeat a few things - but I think you'll enjoy nonetheless! To work with me or to find more of my writing and podcasts, check out Yaywithme.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, in this episode I answer 3 questions: what to do if you’re stuck and you can’t figure out what you’re passionate about. What to do when you are stuck in a pit of hopelessness and despair and you feel ashamed and can’t seem to get a break. What to do if you are stuck, depressed and you really don’t have any good friendships. I hope this gives you some relief! I know a lot of these issues are really big, chronic ones and the solutions will not be quick and easy – but if this was your question, I want to say whatever you do – don’t stop trying. I believe eventually you fill find your cocktail solution. It just takes persistence and a teaspoon of luck, which can be arrived at via trial and error. Xo Sarah May B. For more of my writing, my one-on-one plans, my books and other resources check out YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s hard to be yourself – it takes work. There’s a lot of emotional and thought clutter that gets in the way – especially when you are so wholeheartedly pursuing your best self! This is for anyone who’s been working on themselves and feeling like they’re not happy, not where they want to be, and stuck. Simple shifts in perspective and brain vs body balance can be the difference between lightness and darkness: like changing the channel in your brain when viewing your life. For more of my podcasts and blogs check out YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I answer 3 audience questions: What do you do if you can’t stop focusing on your ex and whether or not they’re with someone new? Do we have multiple soul-mates and how do I know if I should fight for my ex? When can I start dating again if I went through a breakup 4 months ago? Got a question? LMK! contact@yaywithme.com If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness based therapies check out this book: http://amzn.to/2t4UHq6 And if you want more research about how to be happier, check out this book: http://amzn.to/2s1bjPy And here’s a link to some helpful ways to stop obsessive thoughts: https://www.get.gg/step6.htm And for more of my work including the blog version of my podcast, check out YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who has a super tumultuous relationship with a sibling, one that that defies all logic. It’s to give you context for a lot of common sibling issues and also some tools for clarity and staying firmly balanced on the ground. Just a heads up, I am talking mostly about adult sibling rivalry – though you might gain something from this if you’re listening because of your kids. I will touch on how these conflicts are formed early on in life. For more of my writing head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and for my references for this episode check out: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2009/12/oh_brother.html http://amzn.to/2skMf5r https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199301/adult-sibling-rivalry Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A practice of getting closer to your original self. Analysis, ambivalence, endless "stuff." Checking, pursuing, not knowing if any of it is right. When will I finally be happy? When I finish this thing? But then there’s that other thing I have to do. Hi friends! This power-up is a set of tools all about trimming out the mental work we create for ourselves and getting closer to your playful, original self. That mental work that seems to go in circles. In favor of something deeper and possibly more rewarding. For more personal play and exploration - here are a few books I enjoyed. xo Jung on dream analysis http://amzn.to/2rOrX3U Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu http://amzn.to/2s7gwSe Bodhisattva mind http://amzn.to/2quH3aQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices