Minion Death Cult

Alexander Edward
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Dec 18, 2023 • 6min

What have they done to my beloved senate (preview)

TODAY: First, an update on Geezer's health and appreciation for everyone's kind words. She'll hopefully be ok. THEN: Gay raw naked butt sex in the Senate?? No!!!! I keep my democracy in there!!!! ALSO: A tap-dancing rendition of The Nutcracker has the right wing saying, "See? This is why we're Nazis," and we learn about how dancers in costumes give off "out-of-touch elite" vibes ------------------------------------------- Hey Folks! It's December, also known as Peak Season for UPS drivers. Due to Alex's busy schedule this time of year, we're going Patreon-only for the month of December.  We'll continue to put out weekly episodes for patrons and host DEATH CHAT 500 on Saturdays. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to continue getting content served to your podcast app all year long, otherwise we'll see you in 2024.
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Dec 11, 2023 • 8min

Something doesn't feel right about this house explosion in Virginia. (preview)

Hey Folks! It's December, also known as Peak Season for UPS drivers. Due to Alex's busy schedule this time of year, we're going Patreon-only for the month of December.  We'll continue to put out weekly episodes for patrons and host DEATH CHAT 500 on Saturdays. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to continue getting content served to your podcast app all year long, otherwise we'll see you in 2024. ---------------------- TODAY: We dive into the story the news won't show you: a widely-reported video of a Virginia man's house exploding. People are citing his unstable linkedin posts as proof he was onto something big, and even posing as him posthumously in order to get the message out there: Something is not normal. ALSO: We examine the recent spate of "campus antisemitism," which is bad enough to bring the presidents of Ivy League schools in front of congress, but not bad enough to have any examples of the antisemitism. We connect this to several recent instances of Israel supporters distributing Hamas propaganda "ironically" and sometimes deliberately attributing it to pro-Palestinian student groups.
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Dec 4, 2023 • 7min

Oh yeah? Tell that to Earth (preview)

Hey Folks! It's December, also known as Peak Season for UPS drivers. Due to Alex's busy schedule during the holoday season, we're going Patreon-only for the month of December.  We'll continue to put out weekly episodes for patrons and host DEATH CHAT 500 on Saturdays. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to continue getting content served to your podcast app all year long, otherwise we'll see you in 2024. TODAY: the FBI tried to “whack” Derek Chauvin? and we have original reporting from Facebook proving it? Also: Elon Musk is asked about his antisemitic comments by the NYT, who allows him to repeat them verbatim with no pushback And the billionaire X owner says “Frick Off!” To Disney, and vows that Earth will rise up against the woke corporations who refused to purchase advertising on the social media platform.
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Nov 30, 2023 • 5min

Jingle Smells (preview)

Today we’re discussing Jingle Smells, a bizarre Christmas movie produced by Sean Hannity and the conservative American Center for Law and Justice (Trump lawyers). We follow Nick, a PTSD alcoholic veteran of Afghanistan who can’t compete with his handsome, rugged Police Chief father Dusty (John Schneider) When Dusty makes Nick get a job as a garbage collector, he begins stealing boxes of “cancelled” toys set for destruction by the Cancel Culture toy company CEO (Eric Roberts) Nick is able to foster a secret relationship with poor kids in the neighborhood by giving them each a toy in exchange for their silence, and Santa teaches us that breaking the law is okay if it feels good. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes in your podcast app or browser
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Nov 27, 2023 • 1h 28min

The murmuring Millenial male who goes along with the soft Human Resources tier lululemon longhouse is the modern eunuch

TODAY: Killer Cop Derek Chauvin gets shanked in prison. Conspiracy theorists say it’s because their pro-Chauvin documentary was too good. ALSO: the right wing in Dublin riot after a suspected migrant allegedly slashes several people, including children. We examine the effort to link the attack to asylum seekers en masse, and marvel at the American right wing’s newfound love of fiery, destructive protests. FINALLY: an unhinged screed against a “millennial” (zoomer) Tom Hanks-themed Hanksgiving party goes viral as one man rages against the degeneracy of hanging out with women. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month and get bonus episodes every week + access to our entire back catelogue of bonus material Music: Rid of Me - I'm So Lonesome I Could Die Sunflo'er - Where Do My Children Go At Night Misha Panfilov - Sweet Girl
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Nov 23, 2023 • 6min

I think the majority of people can acknowledge that black disabled Santa has gone way too far (preview)

FIRST: A protest at the DNC brings out the partisan Dems on twitter, who compare the demonstration to “actual colonizing” and quote architects of the Iraq war to support their points. THEN: Trump’s #1 enemy Michael Rappaport says even he might vote for Trump because of how expensive new cars are now. He also seems to be losing his mind to some degree LAST: Fox News airs a piece on Target’s “Black Santa in a Wheelchair” Christmas ornament and then criss-crosses the MDC Bingo board, merging with stories of the department store hamstringing local sheriffs, “banning” the word Christmas while also “sexualizing” Christmas--all set to footage of 2020 looters. But famous loser Riley Gaines eventually pulls us back to the main point: why is Target allowed to sell this ornament? Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for the full episode and hundreds more
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Nov 20, 2023 • 1h 18min

"Concerning, Palestinian terrorist sympathizers now control the bussing system"

TODAY: we catch up with the horrors Israel is inflicting on Gaza, and talk about the strange American political realignments happening around it: Elon Musk endorses the antisemitic, white-nationalist "great replacement theory," and noted zionist Ben Shapiro comes to his defense, going as far as to proclaim the conspiracy theory to be true, but only for some groups of jews.  Also: TIK TOK TEENS TURNED ON BY TERRORISM??? We read the infamous Osama Bin Laden letter to dunk on kids these days but end up coming around on Sharia law  FINALLY: DC bus drivers call sick-out to avoid transporting a group of 900 zionists to their rally last week (according to a rally organizer) We question the validity of the allegation, but approve of lying about a successful worker action anyway. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month for bonus episodes every week. Music: Ahmad Jamal - There's a Lull in my Life Clear Path Ensemble - Future Fatigue
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Nov 16, 2023 • 10min

WELCOME TO OHIO THE NEW AUSCHWITZ (preview)

TODAY: James L Brooks assures us that Homer will continue to strangle the boy, and society holds together for another season ALSO: Markwayne Mullen... Mullins? reads Sean O'Brien's mean tweets on the senate floor, and gets so upset he challenges the Teamsters President, My President, to a fight FINALLY: Conservatives freak out after Ohio voters amend their state constitution to include reproductive and abortion rights. We trace the current right-wing backlash to a 1996 pro-life rock music compilation, including rap metal grandfathers P.O.D. and Ms Jane Roe herself, reading a poem about how sad she is that she killed a million babies. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for 2 bonus episodes a week
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Nov 13, 2023 • 1h 8min

The woke libtards are taking over the Simpsons

This week we invite Labor Reporter Alex Press and UAW member Logan Ausherman on the show to dissect the stand-up strike strategy employed by the union, what's in the tentative agreements, and how it may shape the future of labor organizing. Read Alex's reporting here: https://jacobin.com/2023/10/uaw-big-three-strike-end-ta-contract ALSO: Woke moralists have told Homer he cant strangle Bart anymore. And we wonder why society is crumbling... Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes every week sent to your podcast app or browser Music: MC5 - Motor City Is Burning Chokehold - Regression
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Nov 12, 2023 • 10min

Throw punches and kicks if you hate George Bush (preview)

Today we're revisiting a straightedge vegan eco-terrorist rap song from the early 2000s, Subjecting the audience to clips from the incredibly off-putting live-action 1980 Popeye musical starring Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall, Reading about DC staffer's shock and horror at their bosses' complicity of the Israeli assault on Gaza, And watching Facebook pages farm boomer engagement using AI-generated images Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week  

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