Minion Death Cult

TODAY: A far-right evangelical ministry stages an anti-LGBTQ protest in the heart of a queer Seattle community, and they are met with thousands of counter-protestors. We take a look at some homemade memes from the hypebeast minister and watch a conservative comment section spin conspiracy theories about how the city actually forced the group to protest there. ALSO: European leaders (including Starmer lol) begin to stand up to Israel and we learn the dangers of being sympathetic to Palestinian suffering. Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month   

TODAY: A new poll finds that popular ideas are more popular than rebranded Reaganite de-regulation? We dive into the unpopularity of Abundance and try to convince Democrats that it's not about what they want--it's about what will sucessfully lose elections.  AND: Staged, badly-acted videos of black people behaving reprehensibly until white men stand up For What's Right are circulating the internet.  Black conservative commentator Jason Whitlock attemps to debunk the video to his right-wing brothers, only to be met with shocking and vitriolic racism. Some conservatives, however, are forced to reckon with the artificiality of these racist videos and are left to wonder: "Why would someone do this?" Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month  Music: Gong - Night Illusion Mastodon - Hail to Fire

TODAY: Nintendo fans EXPLODE at the video game company's disrespect: this time advertising a game where you play basketball in a WHEELCHAIR. When will this century of humiliation for gamers end? ALSO: Republicans and Democrats both have rugs pulled out from under them as Trump's plants in the FBI Kash Patel and Dan Bongino inform their base that Epstein did in fact kill himself and there's nothing strange about it. Meanwhile, filibusterin' fool Cory Booker becomes the only Democrat voting to confirm convicted blackmailer Charles Kushner (Jared's dad) as ambassador to France, and Democrats find out just how close the New Jersey senator is to the Kushner family. Is there any zionist liberal who can save us? Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month   

TODAY: Alex wins a grievance for management stealing union work, and Tony wins an audible audio track. ALSO: We discuss the assassination of two Israeli diplomats, the outsize coverage their deaths receive from mainstream media vs. the tens of thousands dead in Gaza (including diplomats), and whether this is “like Nazi Germany.” Violence? In my imperial core?? It’s more likely than you think. FINALLY: Babylon Bee makes one of their scheduled anti-racist jokes and their fanbase loses it. “Is this some kind of a joke??” Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month Music: Nikitch - Arps Bruce Springsteen - American Skin (41 Shots) Panda Bear - Ferry Lady

TODAY: Newsmax pundit Greg Kelley is viciously assaulted by the wet pain on a light post while just chillin'. The light pole was probably an honor student too!! ALSO: The right wing continues their project of operformative hysteria by pretending "86" means to rip... tear... kill... We check out responses from the alpha males and your facebook grandma who just learned the term from Terrence K Williams and is now afraid for her life. FINALLY: Trump goes NUCLEAR on pop stars Taylor Swift and Bruce Springsteen calling them NAMES. Aspiring twitter influencers take up the fight as well, performing vicious, Grok-generated roasts of the musicians for their podcast audiences. Music: Slow Mass - Hell is Earth SOPHIE - Ponyboy

TODAY: Elon Musk’s Grok crashes out, trying to reconcile the South African millionaire’s obsession with White Genocide with the fact that White Genocide does not exist. Seemingly fighting against instructions to promote the white nationalist conspiracy theory, the AI goes haywire, regurgitating the far-right talking points in unrelated queries, sometimes as Jar Jar Binks, while acknowledging their fraudulent nature. ALSO: Conservatives respond to a report about how basic living standards are out of reach for 60% of Americans. Should corporations allow you to live if you’re not providing them with enough value? We discuss. Music: Machine Girl - Dance in the Fire Engine Down - Taken In

TODAY: A rural NY gun dealer fires on a lost DoorDash delivery driver, hitting him in the back and causing serious injury.  The right wing unites around calls to hold these reckless gig employees responsible for their actions. Shouldn't they know better than to ask an American Homeowner for help? PLUS: Finland wages war on the successful by ticketing drivers with fines weighted to their income. We explore how driving extremely fast is like capitalism (good) and requires superior intellectual capabilities, such as rationalizing vehicular homicide. Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month     

TODAY: AG Pam Bondi is forced by plucky kid detective James O'Keefe into announcing that the FBI is watching Epstein's child sexual exploitation videos as fast as they can, but that thing from I Love Lucy happened where there was actually so much abuse material that it clogged the investigation machine and created a huge mess they have to clean up first. We examine the few excuses from MAGA for the continued "delay" and see if they hold up to the overwhelming number of concerns by those who JUST WANT TO SEE THESE VIDEOS ALREADY!!! ALSO: Serious deportation enjoyers wonder why the Trump administration is deporting fewer people than Biden but making a violent and distasteful show of arresting single mothers and politicians attempting oversight over the federal agency. Is this a plot by blue-state cops to make Trump look bad? Probably! Music: Slow Pulp - Cramps Kaizo Slumber - I am Happy Because Everyone Loves me (feat. Fromjoy)

TODAY: A jam-packed episode starts with Kanye's newest banger: a song about how his wife made him be a nazi. They're calling it the most divorced track of all time. The formerly talented artist demonstrates with painful clarity the power of the Cuck meme--using the fetish as a title for his new album and laying bare a series of pathetic embarrassments, perhaps the best example of which is becoming a black Nazi. ALSO: Anti-war president Trump praises Anduril drones as "nasty looking things" and waxes nostalgic for a time when you could look up and see the moon instead of swarms of mechanized death. FINALLY: Trump addresses a possible tariff-induced recession and suggests that beautiful little 11 year-old baby girls will simply have to nut up. Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month   

TODAY: A brief review of the ILM "Light and Magic" documentary series beginning with plucky model makers and dedicated autodidacts, and ending with Jar Jar Binks contemplating suicide AND: We explore the Right's enthusiastic support for a white woman caught on camera repeatedly calling a child the N word, the hundreds of thousands of dollars she's since raised, and the various less-racist right wing mouthpieces trying to navigate the controversy. Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month  Music: Med, Blu, Madlib - Knock Knock (feat. MF Doom) Neu! - Hero