How to Change successfully

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Help rejecting complainers are people who complain but don't actually want help or change. In therapy, it's important to understand what is preventing someone from changing and embracing uncertainty. With freedom comes responsibility, making it harder to blame others for our lives. Change involves different stages: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. Many New Year's resolutions fail because people underestimate the importance of maintenance. Self-compassion is crucial when slipping up, as it allows for reflection and accountability. The longer we stay in the maintenance phase, the easier it becomes to make the change our new normal.

Ryan speaks with Lori Gottlieb about the profound effect that stories have on our lives, why we are all unreliable narrators, how we can make real steps toward positive change by practicing self-compassion, understanding other peoples’ experiences by listening to their stories, and more.

Lorr Gottlieb is a physiotherapist, writer, speaker, and podcast host whose work focuses on the role that stories and storytelling take in shaping our mental landscape. She obtained an undergraduate degree at Stanford University and a Masters of Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and she is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She published the New York Times bestseller, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone in 2019, which she repurposed into a journal version in 2022 titled Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: The Journal. She also writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic and is the co-host of the iHeart Radio podcast "Dear Therapists." Her TED Talk was one of the top most-watched talks of 2019. Her work can be found on her website lorigottlieb.com.

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