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#71 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

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Sex Fades, Isn't It?

Sex fading in relationships is often due to various reasons. The act of sex itself can become perfunctory and less meaningful, disconnecting couples from their erotic selves. Stressors of life, health issues, economic difficulties, employment struggles, children, and family life can also contribute to the disconnection. However, a breakdown of imagination and a lack of investment in the experience can significantly impact the quality of sexuality. People often expect sex to be spontaneous, but in long-term relationships, it requires intentionality, premeditation, and creativity. Mistaken ideas about what it takes to create pleasure, desire, and excitement can further contribute to the loss of sexual intensity.

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