Drs. John and Julie Gottman share insights on healthy relationships, including the importance of cuddling for better sex life, how kissing can extend life, and the 3 skills needed for a successful partnership. They discuss repair after arguments, the impact of cultural hooks, and why one night stands are risky.

What makes for a loving relationship that lasts? For over 40 years Drs. John and Julie Gottman have devoted their life to answering this question with the research and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships. Through studying thousands of couples, publishing over 200 academic articles, more than 40 books on the topic and co-founding the Gottman’s Institute, John and Julie have created interventions to change the way that couples relate to each other to help people succeed in the future of their relationships. In the conversation, John and Julie give me a masterclass in everything there is to know about building long lasting relationships, we cover the four key reasons why relationships fail, communication strategies, rituals to cultivate deeper connection and their latest book The Seven Day Love Prescription which distills their work into a seven-day action plan for deeper intimacy. Enjoy :)Sponsored by Huel - go to https://www.huel.com/deepdive and with your first order you’ll get a free t-shirt and shaker.Sponsored by Trading212 - download Trading212 app and use the promo code "ALI" after signing up and depositing to receive a random free share worth up to £100.Sponsored by Brilliant - visit https://brilliant.org/DeepDive/ and the first 200 of you will get 20% off Brilliant's annual premium subscription.Sponsored by WeWork - visit https://www.we.co/ali and use the code ‘ALI’  at checkout to redeem 50% off your first booking. 📚Check out my New York Times Bestselling book Feel-Good Productivity!AmazonWebsite(00:00) Intro (02:06) Why do we need research about love and relationships? (04:37) Research methodology for analysing couples (06:42) What are the things that predict a relationship will be happy?(07:52) The 4 reasons why relationships fail (16:04) Strategies to overcome anger(18:35) What can people do to overcome conflict in relationships (24:30) Why logic vs emotion is a false dichotomy(33:10) Common mistakes men make in relationships (38:12) Your research into LGBTQ+ relationships (40:18) The biggest difference between men and women in relationships(43:40) Decision making in relationships (48:01) Rituals of connection (51:01) Relationship reviews (56:35) What is the function of marriage?(01:07:31) Is there an ideal age gap? (01:10:44) Relationships therapy and pre-commitment counselling (01:14:12) The love prescription formula(01:26:06) Book writing🔗 CONNECT WITH JOHN AND JULIE📕 The Seven Day Love Prescription 📱 The Gottman Card Decks App 💻 Website 🐦 Twitter 📸 Instagram 🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI📚 Download my FREE 100 Books To Live Your Best Life Reading List🎥 YouTube Channel💻 Website📸  Instagram🐦  Twitter👥 LinkedinFind the show notes and the transcript on the website: https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/Leave a reviewIf you enjoy listening to the podcast, please do leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts - even one line helps! You can also Tweet @AliAbdaal with any feedback, thoughts from the lessons you've learnt from the episodes and we can thank you personally for tuning in 🙏Want to start your own podcast? We use Transistor! https://go.aliabdaal.com/transistor Check out the episode on the Deep Dive YouTube Channel.See privacy policy at https://transistor.fm/privacyCreators & Guests Amber Baxter-Clarke - Producer Ali Abdaal - Host

Conflict doesn’t have to suck. These iconic relationship researchers tell us how. Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection is the name of a new book by esteemed guests Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman.They are the co-Founders of The Gottman Institute and have completed over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples. John is the researcher; Julie the clinician. They have written several books together, including Eight Dates and The Love Prescription.Even though the majority of the Gottmans’ research is on couples, the advice is applicable to all types of relationships.  In this episode we talk about:The three principle conflict stylesWhy we often don’t understand what it is we’re fighting aboutPerpetual problems vs. Solvable problemsWhy the first three minutes of an argument are key The simple sentence to use at the beginning of an argumentHow to downregulate defensiveness in an argumentWhy the Gottmans’ believe there is no such thing as constructive criticismWhy apologizing quickly isn’t always the right moveWhen a fight might spell the end Related Episodes:Dan Savage on how to handle disappointment in your relationships, how to get better at sex, and why “a couple” is an IllusionLori Brotto on mindful sexDevon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot messMyisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship mythsSign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokTen Percent Happier online bookstoreSubscribe to our YouTube ChannelOur favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular EpisodesFor tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Full Shownotes: http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-726See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode Sal, Adam & Justin speak with Drs. John & Julie Gottman about scientifically proven ways to improve relationships. What is the Gottman Institute, and what is its purpose? (2:29) What got them so interested in studying relationships? (4:16) What are some of the biggest misconceptions about the way we look at marriages back then compared to now? (6:00) What is the Love Lab, and how did it work? (9:10) The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. (13:39) The Sound Relationship House theory of what makes relationships work. (18:52) The importance of focusing on the process rather than the content. (29:48) The value of their research in helping build healthy relationships. (34:44) Any differences in same sex-relationships vs different-sex relationships? (39:52) Are there things culturally that are working against them? (49:12) The importance of a moral aspect in a healthy relationship. (55:24) Love is an action. (57:38) Building connection through practice on Gottman Connect. (1:03:22) Love Rx and closing words to the Mind Pump audience. (1:09:21) Related Links/Products Mentioned The Gottman Institute | A research-based approach to relationships Gottman Connect Visit Seed for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code MINDPUMP at checkout for 20% off your first month’s supply of Seed’s DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic** September Promotion: Skinny Guy Bundle (MAPS ANABOLIC // MAPS AESTHETIC // NO B.S. 6-PACK FORMULA // INTUITIVE NUTRITION GUIDE // OCCLUSION TRAINING GUIDE.) HALF OFF!! Also, the Fit Mom Bundle (MAPS ANYWHERE // MAPS ANABOLIC // MAPS HIIT // and INTUITIVE NUTRITION GUIDE.) HALF OFF!! **Code SEPT50 at checkout** The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert Love Lab - The Gottman Institute Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse | The Gottman Institute What is The Sound Relationship House? - The Gottman Institute Build Love Maps - The Gottman Institute The Investment Model of Commitment Processes A Review of the Research on Domestic Violence The health benefits of strong relationships The Man's Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want Bringing Baby Home: The Research - The Gottman Institute Fatherhood (The Developing Child) - Book by Ross Parke Helen Fisher: The brain in love | TED Talk Love Quiz: Fondness and Admiration - The Gottman Institute American families spend just 37 minutes of quality time together per day, survey finds Gottman Card Decks App - Couples | The Gottman Institute Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources

Drs. John and Julie Gottman share insights on successful relationships, communication, and conflict resolution. They discuss building a culture of appreciation, navigating control and criticism, and exploring vulnerability. The podcast delves into personal anecdotes, gratitude, and the mathematical aspects of love.