Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby #463 - Are You Mad at Me? How to Calm People‑Pleasing Anxiety
Have you ever stared at your phone, rereading a text that ended with a period and spiraled into, “Oh no… are they mad at me?” Or maybe someone didn’t heart your Instagram story, and suddenly your nervous system is in full red alert mode. If so, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken.
I’m joined by psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to talk about the fawn response, a lesser-known trauma response that shows up as people-pleasing, overthinking, and needing to manage how others feel about you. We’re digging into where this comes from, why it’s so common (especially if you grew up walking on eggshells), and how to start untangling yourself from it.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 What Is Relational Hypervigilance?
02:22 Meg Josephson’s Journey With People-Pleasing
10:37 Understanding Complex Trauma and Emotional Safety
17:05 What Is the Fawn Response?
23:23 How Hypervigilance Disconnects You From Yourself
31:15 How People-Pleasing Impacts Boundaries
36:27 Why “Negative” Emotions Like Resentment Matter
41:11 Reassurance vs. Emotional Validation
46:07 Letting Go of Control and Reclaiming Your Energy
49:37 Healing Through Self-Awareness and Discomfort
51:13 Where to Find Meg Josephson’s Work
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I always feel like I’m in trouble?” or “Why is it so hard to set boundaries without guilt?” – this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath those feelings and what healing can actually look like.
Ready to stop twisting yourself into knots trying to keep everyone else happy? My Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program can help you reconnect with you – your voice, your boundaries, your sense of calm. If you’re done second-guessing and ready to start showing up authentically, this is your next step. 🌱
Let’s stay connected! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re building healthier, happier relationships – one conversation at a time.
xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. Meg’s book “Are You Mad at Me?” comes out August 5th – and it is SO GOOD! You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok. Check out her Substack, Peace of Mind. Highly recommend.
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm