Rob Henderson shares his incredible journey from foster care to academic success, reflecting on his turbulent childhood, navigating through multiple foster homes, and finding stability in the Air Force. The discussion also delves into social class dynamics, family turmoil, and resilience in overcoming challenges.
Rob's traumatic foster care experience highlighted the severe neglect and instability present in many foster homes.
Rob's resilience and adaptability in overcoming adversity and seeking stability throughout his turbulent childhood.
Deep dives
A Troubled Childhood in Foster Care
The podcast episode delves into Rob Henderson's turbulent childhood spent in foster care. Born into poverty in Los Angeles, he experienced severe neglect and instability, living in seven different foster homes over nearly five years. These homes often lacked proper care due to overburdening in the system, leading to a chaotic and unsuitable environment for many children.
Adoption and the Quest for Stability
Rob's narrative shifts when he is adopted by a working-class family in Northern California at the age of seven. Initially finding some stability, his adoptive father's strict discipline and care fostered a desire to be a good kid. The disruption arrived 18 months later when his adoptive parents divorced, shaking his fragile sense of stability once again.
Family Dynamics and Revelations
Following the divorce, Rob's adoptive mother, a full Korean woman raised in a white working-class environment, revealed her relationship with Shelley, introducing the concept of having two moms. Despite the social climate, Rob did not face teasing for having two mothers, highlighting the acceptance and understanding among his peers.
Striving for Stability Amidst Change
As Rob navigates the complexities of his evolving family dynamics and personal growth, he finds pockets of stability and familial connections unravel, presenting new challenges. Each juncture of his journey reflects a profound resilience in the face of adversity, showcasing his continuous quest for stability and belonging.
Rob is a young independent writer. His work has been featured in the NYT, the WSJ, the Boston Globe and others, and he writes a popular substack that coined the term “luxury beliefs.” He had a tumultuous childhood in foster care, joined the Air Force at 17, and went on to graduate from Yale and Cambridge. He tells that story in his first book, Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class.
For two clips of our convo — on attending Yale during the Halloween costume meltdown, and how to reform the foster care system — pop over to our YouTube page. Other topics: born into poverty in LA; an absent father; a drug-addicted mom who grossly neglected him; her arrest and deportation; entering foster care at age 3; having his first beer at age 5; his social worker being the most stable figure in his childhood; seven different homes by age 8; an eccentric foster mom who used Rob for free labor and nearly let him drown in her swimming pool; finally adopted by parents — who divorced 18 months later; the adopted father who cut him off; the adopted mother who partnered with a woman — who suffered a near fatal gunshot; growing up in the working-class Central Valley; constantly getting into fights; constantly using drugs and booze; drunk-driving on the reg; getting terrible grades; barely graduating high school; enlisting in the Air Force at 17 and serving eight years; entering rehab at 24; his life saved by a standardized test in the military; how the SATs are a life-line for marginalized teens; Rob getting into Yale; being mystified by the “luxury beliefs” and victim culture of his privileged peers; micro-aggressions and emotional labor; Orwell on oikophobia of the intelligentsia; the high marriage rates of liberal elites; Google’s Gemini trying to indoctrinate the masses with CRT; and the importance of a stable family above all else.
Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Christian Wiman on resisting despair as a Christian, George Will on Trump and conservatism, Abigail Shrier on why the cult of therapy harms children, Adam Moss on the artistic process, and Richard Dawkins on religion. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other pod comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.
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