After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I've loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I've immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn't anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can't diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that's where I derailed. Since finding out I've lost some weight, I've been bingeing and restricting again! It's the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can't seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I'm not sure how.
Love,

Intuitive Saboteur