Jonathan Palmar – The Reward of Seeking Approval Is Zero

Jan 13, 2021

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Jonathan Palmar makes videos.

“People will always disappoint you because your expectations will never match what they provide you with.”

Jonathan Palmar

Worst investment ever

Ever seeking approval

Like most people, Jonathan grew up believing that he needed to trust in the constant search for other people’s approval. As is human nature, Jonathan wanted to fit into the pack. He found himself often wanting people to give him the validation that he was going on the right path.

The nagging need to be validated

Jonathan’s need for approval sometimes got pretty dramatic. He would often put himself in gravely uncomfortable situations.

There was this one time that Jonathan wanted to complete this project so badly. He put his heart and soul into this project because he wanted his boss to be happy. When he finally went to present it, his boss responded nonchalantly and tossed it to the side.

Getting to his breaking point

Jonathan was devastated by the reaction he received from his boss so much that it threw him to his breaking point. He realized that he had put all this time into the project, and he ought to be proud of himself. Jonathan also admitted that he would always get disappointed if he kept trying to get people to validate him.

Adjusting his expectations of others

After this incident, Jonathan learned that he had wasted so much money and time searching for validation from people. Now he has stepped out of this kind of thinking. He lives his life without seeking approval from anyone, including his friends, family, coworkers, and audience.

Lessons learned

Outward approval brings you zero reward

There is no reward in searching for approval or doing things to get acceptance from other people. Stop seeking validation from others and be your number one cheerleader.

You need to invest more in yourself and not other people

We need to focus more on building ourselves up and investing in ourselves instead of on building others.

Partner with someone who gives as much as they take

Find somebody you can work with within a balanced partnership in which the give and take are equal. If you find yourself in a situation where the amount of effort that you are putting to get validation is not equal to the outcome that your partner provides you with, then you need to leave.

Andrew’s takeaways

What other people think of you is none of your business

Be comfortable with the fact that this is your life, your decision, and your thinking. Some people are going to like it, and some won’t. But that is their problem. So have the courage to live your life, and do your things without getting concerned with what people think about you.

Actionable advice

You have to polish your diamond. Nurture yourself as an investment. Take the time to look introspectively and figure out what is important to you, and then have the courage to act on it. You cannot start to love and care for people until you begin to love and care for yourself.

No. 1 goal for the next 12 months

Jonathan’s number one goal for the next 12 months is to live a day at a time and not plan a single moment.

Parting words

“This wasn’t the worst podcast I’ve ever been on. So I consider this a success story.”