42: Dealing with Transitions and Figuring Out Next Steps

We all go through different phases in life such as graduating, finding our first job, a mid-life crisis, marriage, having a child, starting a company, retiring, etc. There are also different seasons in life to go through which come more frequently than phases. Like the times when we are busy at work, slowed down because of an illness, distracted by a relationship or just going through internal growth; and things that require us to change our pace or priorities. Consider this, life of an athlete, metaphor shared with me by my friend Lewis Howes. You are not always in the play-offs. In fact, you would burn out if you were. There is a training season, game season, the play-offs and then of course, offseason. To play at their best, players respect the season they are in. It’s important that we respect the seasons we are in to be our best in life. As I have said before, we often wear our busyness like a badge of honor. Somehow we have made doing, doing, doing greater than being, being, being. We are constantly going for things as a distraction. When we are consistently going for the next big thing we don’t have to feel the little things (that are really big things) we sweep under the rug because we just don’t want to deal with them. AND, we are addicted to control. We are great at putting time and energy into the results we want. The more effort we put into getting what we want the more we feel entitled to get the results. When we get what we go after, we win. It brings a sense of security and accomplishment. We feel safe and on track and we want more. But why do we want more? Because it gives us the feeling of control and we love control because the unknown is downright scary. The truth is we really don’t have control over our lives. And nothing illuminates that truth more brightly than an expectation hangover. Today’s caller, Lisa, relates to being a doer and an overachiever. She wants to know what her next big thing is. Even though she may not have given herself time to experience some recent transitions and expectation hangovers in her life. As our souls grow, our higher self and our inner wisdom know exactly when the right time is to process something. Sometimes we are not ready to deal with something. Sometimes we don’t remember something until later. But when it does start to come up, it is so, so crucial that we respect it and be with it. Coach’s Tip - Coaches may notice my style is a bit different in this call. I could sense Lisa is a highly, intelligent woman who likes to figure things out. And, because I knew figuring things out was of value to her, I wanted her to have the experience of figuring things out but in a different way. It was important she connected to her own inner wisdom about what she really needed. It was simply my job to hold the space for her and to ask her questions. Remember, realizations people come to on their own are profound. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a transition and trying to “figure out” your next steps? Do you respect the seasons of your life or are you consistently putting yourself in the play-offs? Have you ever been called or referred to yourself as a control freak? Do you relate to being more of a doer than a feeler?   Lisa's Question: Several major changes in Lisa’s life have her confused about where to go and what to do next.   Lisa's Key Insights and Aha’s: She identifies with being an overachiever She may be avoiding things she doesn’t want to deal with by keeping herself busy It’s uncomfortable for her to feel in a child’s role and not in control She is looking for validation She knows she needs to give her heart more space and honor her feelings   How to get over it and on with it: She should create a space so her higher self can come forward and feel She should parent herself to help her to deal with her many losses She should let her heart break wide open and start feeling Allow her mind to be a servant to her heart She should have deep gratitude for where she is right now   Assignments and Takeaways: Make sure you make time for yourself. The better parent you are to yourself the better parent you will be to your children. Be attuned to the triggers or memories your children may cause in you. Children are our spiritual teachers. Ask yourself if there is some healing you need to do. Don’t be scared of letting your heart break wide open. Remember that underneath anger or hurt is love. Let your mind be a servant of your heart. Don’t let your mind be your master. A meditation practice of just 5 minutes a day will help you attune to your own inner wisdom and heart.   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com