Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory S3 Ep2 Friendship with Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello
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Jul 15, 2025 Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello, an Assistant Professor of Counseling at Barry University and leader in marriage and family counseling, shares insightful perspectives on friendship through a Bowen family systems lens. He discusses the balance of connection and autonomy, and how sibling dynamics shape friend selection. The conversation touches on the challenges of digital versus in-person friendships, and explores complex ties like that of David and Jonathan. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of how family influences adult relationships and the value of quality connections.
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Differentiation in Friendship
- Differentiation of self means staying connected and separate in relationships simultaneously.
- It allows you to celebrate friends' success and support their suffering without losing autonomy.
Sibling Position Shapes Friendships
- Sibling position influences how we choose and behave in friendships.
- Friendships often mirror dynamics and expectations learned in sibling relationships.
Patterns Managing Friendship Tension
- People use four main patterns to manage relationship tension: conflict, distance, triangles, and over- or under-functioning.
- Observing these patterns in friends reveals how you function differently among people.
