Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory

S3 Ep2 Friendship with Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello

5 snips
Jul 15, 2025
Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello, an Assistant Professor of Counseling at Barry University and leader in marriage and family counseling, shares insightful perspectives on friendship through a Bowen family systems lens. He discusses the balance of connection and autonomy, and how sibling dynamics shape friend selection. The conversation touches on the challenges of digital versus in-person friendships, and explores complex ties like that of David and Jonathan. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of how family influences adult relationships and the value of quality connections.
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INSIGHT

Differentiation in Friendship

  • Differentiation of self means staying connected and separate in relationships simultaneously.
  • It allows you to celebrate friends' success and support their suffering without losing autonomy.
INSIGHT

Sibling Position Shapes Friendships

  • Sibling position influences how we choose and behave in friendships.
  • Friendships often mirror dynamics and expectations learned in sibling relationships.
INSIGHT

Patterns Managing Friendship Tension

  • People use four main patterns to manage relationship tension: conflict, distance, triangles, and over- or under-functioning.
  • Observing these patterns in friends reveals how you function differently among people.
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