Traver Boehm, a speaker and coach dedicated to helping men regain their power and confidence, discusses the 'Nice Guy' archetype and its pitfalls. He shares raw anecdotes that reveal how being too nice often blocks genuine connection and fulfillment. Traver emphasizes the importance of authenticity in relationships, arguing that true attraction stems from being your genuine self. He explains the dangers of covert contracts and highlights the need for deeper male connections, while also addressing the challenges posed by modern dating dynamics.
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insights INSIGHT
Understanding the Nice Guy Archetype
The "Nice Guy" archetype involves prioritizing others' needs over your own to seek belonging and relationship.
This approach often leads to unmet needs, attachment issues, and suffering despite good intentions.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Traver's Personal Nice Guy Story
Traver grew up with an aggressive feminist mother and sisters, lacking masculine guidance, leading him to fear men and overvalue pleasing women.
He coped with this insecurity via addictions and hiding his true desires, embodying the Nice Guy.
insights INSIGHT
Authenticity Attracts More
Authenticity attracts more than trying to please others or fit in.
Expressing your true passions, even if niche, makes you genuinely magnetic and frees you from exhaustingly pretending.
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If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still not getting the sex, connection, or fulfillment you want ⚠️ - this conversation might blow something wide open for you.
In today’s episode, I interview Traver Boehm about the Nice Guy archetype — where it comes from, how it messes with your sex life, and what it really takes to reclaim your confidence, power, and desire as a man (and why WOMEN WANT THIS).
Traver doesn’t hold back. You'll hear raw personal stories, practical mindset shifts, and deep truths about what makes a man truly attractive — to women, to the world, and most importantly, to himself.
This is one of those episodes that might sting a little, especially if you see yourself in the patterns we’re talking about. But it’s also packed with insight, clarity, and actionable guidance that can help you start showing up with more honesty, sexual confidence, and grounded presence — starting now.
EPISODE TOPICS: 0:00 Intro 01:28 What the “Nice Guy” Archetype Actually Means 04:00 Why Being ‘Nice’ Doesn’t Get Your Needs Met 06:04 Traver’s Origin Story: Where Nice Guys Come From 11:59 Attachment VS Authenticity: The Conflict 16:14 Covert Contracts: The Hidden Deals That Sabotage Sex & Connection 20:26 The “No Women in the World” Thought Experiment 24:58 Story: Not Needing Anything Makes You Magnetic 32:50 Real vs. Fake Intimacy: What Happens When You Self-Source First 35:45 ACTION STEP: How to Make Your Life Amazing 40:54 Wants vs. Needs vs. Longings – A Reframe for Men 51:20 The Role of Brotherhood and Men’s Groups in Healing 01:06:57 Why Porn Hooks Nice Guys – And What It’s Really Doing to You
Sex Upgraded 
