A struggling couple seeks guidance from relationship experts on how to save their marriage during the pandemic. The speakers discuss arguments, the importance of commitment, and the negative effects of criticism. They also emphasize the significance of taking breaks during arguments and working together as a couple. Resources are shared for further support.
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Quick takeaways
Avoid trying to be your partner's therapist and focus on understanding each other
Learn to self-soothe, express needs, and avoid criticism to improve your relationship
Deep dives
Challenges in Marriage
Lauren and Carlos discuss the challenges they face in their relationship, including differences in personalities and clashes over household chores and finances.
Struggles After Parenthood
Lauren and Carlos experience increased tension and fights after becoming parents, exacerbated by sleep deprivation and the added responsibility of raising a toddler.
Expert Advice for Saving the Marriage
Relationship experts, John and Julie Gottman, provide guidance on dealing with conflicts, emphasizing the importance of self-soothing, avoiding criticism, and focusing on expressing needs rather than psychoanalyzing their partner.
Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not only co-founders of The Gottman Institute and co-authors of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, but also have been married to each other for more than three decades. They help Lauren and Carlos begin to heal their relationship with tips that can apply to all couples. For starters, you are not your partner’s therapist, Julie says. Looking for patterns in their behavior will only drive you further away from understanding each other.