Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting 2779: [Part 2] Do Trial Separations Work? By Terry Gaspard with Gottman Institute on Taking Space to Reconnect
Oct 28, 2025
Explore how trial separations can foster healing in relationships. Learn about the importance of clear boundaries and mutual respect. Discover how therapy can help couples reconnect or plan separate paths. Understand the benefits and risks of taking time apart, including the need for regular communication and therapy during breaks. Get insights on how to explain separations to children without causing confusion. Ultimately, see how absence can enhance connection if both partners are committed to growth.
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Define Clear Rules For The Break
- Be specific, honest, and vulnerable about your concerns and clearly define what the break will look like.
- Set boundaries, agree on duration, and establish ground rules like contact, intimacy, and unannounced visits.
Separation Is A Double-Edged Tool
- A planned separation can either reduce emotional intensity to help repair a relationship or accelerate detachment if responsibilities aren't taken.
- The outcome hinges on mutual responsibility, willingness to change, and purposeful use of the time apart.
Agree On Contact And Privacy Rules
- Set explicit boundaries and expectations including contact frequency and acceptability of physical intimacy.
- Discuss whether unannounced visits are allowed and how daily communication will work.
