In this episode, we sit with Cece Sykes, LCSW, a leadi trainer at the IFS Institute with over forty years of clinical experience in trauma and addiction recovery, to explore one of the most distinctive and challenging aspects of the IFS model: how therapists actually help clients find their way to Self.
Among the topics we explore in this conversation:
- What we mean when we talk about "accessing Self," and how someone might recognize that experience for themselves
- Ways to access Self beyond unblending, including tools clients can use on their own
- How to introduce the concept of Self without turning it into another standard to fall short of
- Why Self doesn't have to look the same in everyone, and how to avoid mistaking an unusual presentation of Self for a part
- Distinguishing genuine Self-energy from a protector that's very good at appearing calm, compassionate, or wise
- Working with protectors whose fear of more Self-access makes complete sense given someone's history
- What to do when a client says, "I don't think I have a Self"
- How the wish to access Self can itself become a source of pressure, and what to do about it
- The small, early signs that more Self-energy is becoming available, even amid distress
- Whether Self is fixed and undamaged from birth, or whether the capacity for it can be built and strengthened over the course of treatment
- What working with addiction and shame has taught Cece about helping people meet difficult parts with curiosity instead of judgment
- How the therapist's own access to Self shapes the work, and what happens when a helping part quietly takes the driver's seat
- Practices for therapists to use in the moment when their own parts get activated with a client
- Holding inner work alongside the outer realities of safety, relationships, and circumstance
- Adapting the language of Self across different cultural and spiritual frameworks
- Bringing a little more Self into the ordinary, activating moments of daily life, conflict with a partner, a triggering child or colleague
- Cece's own reflections on what she is still learning about this work
Whether you're new to IFS or a seasoned practitioner, this conversation offers both conceptual clarity and practical, in-the-room guidance for one of the model's most essential and elusive skills.
We hope you can enjoy it!
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We are excited to celebrate the launch of IFS Collected Wisdom: Conversations with Experienced Voices in Internal Family Systems a book that brings together voices, reflections, and lived experience from across the IFS community.
This book was created from a desire to honor those voices, and to acknowledge that wisdom in IFS doesn’t live in one place or one person.
It lives in relationship, in experience, and in the field as it evolves. Thank you for being a listener, for being part of this community, and for continuing to explore what becomes possible when Self leads. We hope that IFS Collected Wisdom can become a companion in your IFS journey. Here is a link to the IFS Collected Wisdom book contents.
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