Episode 709: Jacob Yates, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Jake Yates joins us to bravely share his story. Jake (mid 30’s, RM, father of two, recently divorced, in same-sex relationship, respectful of and believes in the Church) joins us to share his story. Jake starts with the early years (growing up in Sandy, Utah) realizing he was different. Those feelings continued through high school and his mission. Jake, to “prove” he wasn’t gay, was unkind to LGBTQ+ individuals so he wouldn’t be “discovered". Jake talks about returning home from his mission and getting married and then being called to church leadership assignments but feeling two-faced because of his sexual orientation—which led to suicidal ideation. That road continued for many years (including being saved from suicide by his then wife). Jake talks about personal revelation, journaling, scripture study, and his poor emotional health—leading him to come out to his wife (good experience) and then his Bishop (while serving as his counselor; also a good experience) and then his Stake President (also a good experience). These are deeply moving stories of being with someone in one of their most vulnerable moments. Jake talks about his path forward which led to eventually separating from his wife, how they are co-parenting their two sons, and his continued respect for his ex-wife (including his hope for her future). Jake talks about finding his “Knight in Shining Armor” and their healthy/strong relationship and staying connected to Heavenly Father, Jesus and gospel principles. In the closing segment Jake gives thoughtful advice for other LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints. Jake isn’t trying to have others follow his path, but speaks to principles and perspectives to “write your own story” based on personal revelation, going slow, and being intentional. Thank you, Jake, for being on the podcast. You are brave to share your story. I’m glad you are alive and moving forward in your life. You are a good man and father. I hope your story helps us better understand and support LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and also helps LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints in their path forward. Links: Jake Yates Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jake.yates.37 Jake’s e-mail: jacobryates@icloud.com Jake Yates Instagram: @jyate15 Richard Ostler books/bio/etc: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143