The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep 218: Questions to ask a Potential Therapist

18 snips

Apr 22, 2025

Discover essential questions to ask potential therapists, focusing on understanding behaviors through the nervous system. Learn about crucial red flags and what qualifications signal a therapist's trauma-informed approach. Get tips for fostering a relational atmosphere that emphasizes connection and safety during therapy. Explore how to integrate therapeutic moments into everyday life, making the process more engaging for reluctant children. Access valuable resources and downloadable handouts to aid in finding the right fit for your family's needs.

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ADVICE

Evaluate Therapist's Approach Language

Ask therapists about their general approach, focusing on relationship, connection, regulation, and felt safety language.
Avoid therapists using language centered on compliance or behavior modification.

ADVICE

Assess Behavior Understanding

Probe how therapists interpret challenging behaviors through attachment and nervous system perspectives.
Watch for underlying compassion, not labels like defiance or manipulation without deeper context.

ADVICE

Include Caregivers in Therapy

Confirm therapists view parents and caregivers as key players in therapy.
Look for thoughtful explanations about including or excluding parents in sessions.

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Have you ever wondered what types of questions you should ask a new therapist to assess how well they understand behaviors through the lens of the nervous system?

No need to take notes during this episode, I created downloadable handouts you can access with just one click. Listen to the episode then head over to my website!

PLEASE NOTE. These are suggestions. Please vet your professionals thoroughly. I’m certain there are many important questions left off of this list. I’m also certain there are many excellent trainings that I did not include in the list of potential trainings. Also, even if a therapist meets all the criteria, that doesn’t mean they are the right therapist for your family. Even someone trained with me isn’t necessarily the therapist or professional that is right for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn

Questions you can ask a therapist to get a feel for how well they conceptualize behaviors through the lens of the nervous system
Red flags to pay attention to
Trainings on a therapist’s resume that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of ‘all behavior makes sense.’

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Questions to Ask a Potential New Therapist. Download by CLICKING HERE
Trainings a therapist may have that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of the nervous system. Download by CLICKING HERE
When Your Child Doesn't Participate In Therapy {EP 86} (also has an infographic many therapists use to describe therapy to parents)

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/questionsfortherapist

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)