There is absolutely zero shame in using toys in the bedroom. In fact, they can be a game-changer for pleasure, intimacy, and just plain fun.
Whether you’re curious about where to start, nervous about how your partner might react, or worried about your kids (or pets!) discovering your stash, we’re covering it all in today’s episode.
We’re also sharing some of the funniest (and most relatable) real-life sex toy stories you sent us. Because if you’ve ever had a vibrator confiscated by your toddler or opened a box of anal beads in front of your in-laws, you are definitely not alone.
💛 Here’s what we’re diving into:
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The best starter toy for women
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How to talk to your partner about wanting to use toys (without hurting their feelings)
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Whether orgasms feel different with a toy
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Why it’s totally normal if toys aren’t your thing
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Talking to men about male sex toys
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Using toys solo vs. with a partner
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How often to use toys (and why your partner should never “hand you off” to one)
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The best ways to store your toys so kids or family don’t stumble across them
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Hilarious (and mortifying) real-life mishaps from our listeners
If you’ve ever had questions about sex toys and tools or just want a good laugh at the stories we’ve collected — this one’s for you.
Resources & Links:
Our sex toy recommendations ➡️https://vmtherapy.com/recommended-products
Episode 172 How to Bring Toys Into the The Bedroom Without Making it Weird ➡️https://vmtherapy.com/episode172
❤️ Ready to go deeper?
Sex toys are just one way to keep things fun and connected in your relationship. Inside our monthly membership Deeper, you’ll get:
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Expert-led guides and courses on intimacy, pleasure, and communication
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Two brand-new date night ideas every month (one cute, one sexy)
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Monthly live calls with us where you can ask us your questions directly
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Unlimited access to Vanessa AI — your 24/7 virtual sex + relationship coach
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A private, supportive community of couples working on the same goals
Whether you’re brand-new to exploration in the bedroom or just looking for fresh ways to connect, Deeper gives you all the tools, tips, and real-talk support to make your relationship feel exciting again.
💛 Learn more at vmtherapy.com/deeper
🎧 Stay connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns.
Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe
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Timestamps
00:00 – Intro
04:21 – Safety tips: What “For Novelty Use Only” really means
11:11 – Best beginner toy for women
19:24 – How to talk to your husband about toys (without hurting his feelings)
26:21 – Will your orgasm feel different with a toy?
29:03 – Is it normal to not enjoy toys?
30:26 – Can toys make pleasure harder without them?
37:57 – Male partners trying toys for the first time
43:48 – What if you only want to use toys solo (not with a partner)?
48:44 – Should you use toys every time?
53:50 – How to store toys discreetly
55:43 – Funny toy stories
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