PsycHacks Episode 566: The primary lie (you can't always get what you want)
11 snips
Oct 31, 2025 Dive into the primary lie that fuels relationship dysfunction: the belief you can bond with anyone. Explore how attraction often misleads expectations, leaving us disappointed. Discover the profit-driven industries that capitalize on this delusion and why therapy can't create lasting change. Using a sports analogy, uncover the absurdity of mismatched roles in relationships. Learn that real communication stems from emotional capacity, not age, and that true gratitude hinges on the willingness of others.
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You Can't Have Any Relationship With Anyone
- The primary lie is believing you can have any relationship with anyone.
- You can only have certain relationships with people who possess the needed temperament, skills, and disposition.
Stop Pouring Resources Into Mismatches
- Avoid spending excessive time, energy, and money trying to fix mismatched partners.
- Consider the steep opportunity cost and redirect resources toward better-suited relationships or roles.
We Apply Job Standards Except In Love
- People accept role-fit logic in work but reject it in sexual and romantic relationships.
- Love often motivates making exceptions that professionals would never allow in the workplace.
