Big Think

How to have better sex | Esther Perel, Emily Nagoski & more

Sep 18, 2025
Emily Nagoski, a renowned sex educator, challenges misconceptions about sexual desire. She distinguishes between spontaneous and responsive desire, revealing that awareness and communication are crucial for enhancing intimacy. Joined by psychotherapist Esther Perel, they explore how playful interactions can reignite passion in long-term relationships. Both experts highlight the importance of discussing desires openly, turning potentially awkward conversations into opportunities for deeper connection. In an era of decreased sexual activity, their insights provide a roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling sex life.
Ask episode
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
INSIGHT

Desire Is Culturally Framed

  • Desire has been misunderstood; it's not only a spontaneous impulse but shaped by culture and meaning.
  • Esther Perel argues desire concerns ownership of wanting and its role in modern relationships.
INSIGHT

Intimacy Doesn’t Guarantee Lust

  • Intimacy and erotic desire are distinct and intimacy doesn't always generate lust.
  • Perel warns that marriage can become a comfortable prison when desire disappears.
ADVICE

Use Imagination To Rekindle Desire

  • Cultivate erotic imagination by anticipating and envisioning pleasurable scenarios.
  • Use creativity to renew desire and experience erotic pleasure even without immediate physical contact.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Get the app