389: Ed Latimore - How To Control Your Mind, Body, & Emotions
Oct 25, 2020
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Ed Latimore, a best-selling author and former heavyweight boxer, shares wisdom on self-improvement and stoic philosophy. He emphasizes the importance of likability and emotional control, recounting how his character helped him succeed in tough scenarios. Ed discusses the necessity of taking responsibility for one's life and delivering value to others. He believes that with time and persistence, anyone can learn anything, contrasting this with the swift nature of setbacks. His journey highlights resilience, authenticity, and the transformative power of self-control.
Being likable can significantly enhance your personal and professional opportunities through the cultivation of genuine relationships and support systems.
Recognizing that no one is obligated to help you fosters personal accountability, empowering you to tackle your challenges independently and grow stronger.
Great achievements require time, persistence, and a commitment to continuous learning, reinforcing that progress often comes through small, consistent efforts.
Deep dives
Embracing Individuality
It is essential to recognize that not everyone will resonate with you; understanding this can be liberating. Being unbothered by the need for universal approval allows individuals to find their true selves and cultivate relationships that enhance their well-being. Many people, including historical leaders, often have only a fraction of the population's support, indicating that being liked by everyone is unattainable. Focusing instead on finding those who appreciate you for who you are can lead to profound personal growth.
The Paradox of Confidence and Insecurity
High achievers often display a unique blend of self-confidence while grappling with insecurity, driving them to prove their capabilities continuously. This duality can propel individuals toward success while also fostering an intrinsic desire to compete against themselves. Through their experiences, many successful individuals find that being inherently confident is complemented by an understanding that they must constantly grow and improve. Such realizations help balance ambition with contentment, allowing them to appreciate their journey while remaining motivated.
The Importance of Being Likable
Being likable is an invaluable asset; it can significantly influence both personal and professional success. People are more inclined to lend their support and assistance to those they find likable, which can create opportunities in various aspects of life. The experience of maintaining a positive demeanor and treating others with respect enhances one's likability, leading to more substantial connections and support systems. Ultimately, individuals should focus on authenticity; paradoxically, being genuinely oneself often leads to increased likability.
Learning Through Commitment and Time
Great achievements require time, consistent effort, and a willingness to learn from experiences, mirroring the adage 'Rome wasn't built in a day.' Many successful people approach their endeavors with patience, iteratively refining their skills and understanding along the way. Small, incremental improvements are crucial in realizing one's potential over time, whether learning complex topics or mastering a sport. Embracing this gradual process enables individuals to build a robust foundation for future success, reinforcing the importance of perseverance.
Taking Responsibility for Personal Growth
Recognizing that no one else is responsible for your circumstances is vital in fostering personal resilience and growth. Many individuals have traumatic backgrounds, but understanding that society does not owe them sympathy can empower them to take control of their lives. Accountability involves confronting one's issues without relying on societal constructs for validation or support. Working through personal challenges, rather than projecting blame, enables individuals to emerge stronger, ensuring that traumas from the past do not dictate their future.
“Never underestimate the power of being likeable and controlling your emotions.”
"Nothing is neutral. People are trying to help you or move ahead of you. In basic training, he was a terrible shot. He failed the shooting test three times (which was the limit), and yet got a fourth chance because he was likable. And then passed. "They saw me working hard, so they helped me."
How to be more likable? -- "Don't curry favor. Be you... Have high standards. Treat everyone with respect. Have impeccable manners. Be comfortable with the fact that you're not for everyone."
“No one cares what happened to you or what you’ve been through. No one is coming to save you.”
"Society is not going to take pity on you if your problems create problems for others." You need to work to through your own issues and ow your actions. Don't take your trauma out on others."
How has Ed built the perspective to not be a victim? "It's about delivering value to others. And not subtracting it. That's destructive. Forgiveness is a powerful idea. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
“The most powerful belief you can have is that given enough time, you can learn anything. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but Hiroshima was wiped out in seconds.”
Keep plotting along... Ed did this as a boxer and math and with every aspect of his life. Keep going. "Fall in love with the process."
"Make a movement with intention and in pursuit."
“A limitation is only as powerful as the energy you give to it. Your dreams also follow this same law.”
"You'll only be as successful as your worst habit."
"You must recognize the problem and/or the limitation."
High achievers tend to be a paradox. They have self-confidence combined with insecurity. It creates a fusion reaction. It drives them to continually prove themselves.
How is money made? "Give people something they want."
Ed desires to be the most interesting version of himself
Compartmentalization:
You can't approach others with a sense that you're better than them
You must be adaptable to a variety of circumstances
Understand the dichotomy of being confident and humble at the same time
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