How to Actually Change Your Life- You Need a System, Not a Goal

10 snips

Dec 25, 2025

Stop setting lofty goals that lead to disappointment. Discover the power of tiny habits and 1% improvements for genuine change in your life. Learn simple ways to create effective systems that boost mental health and reduce stress. Emma offers practical tips like habit stacking, using visual reminders, and making bad habits harder to maintain. Celebrate small wins and maintain a mindset geared toward progress. Say goodbye to overwhelm and hello to lasting transformation!

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Goals Conceal Hundreds Of Hidden Habits

Big goals hide hundreds of tiny behaviors required to achieve them, which overwhelms people trying to change.
Emma McAdam explains that goals can mean juggling 100+ new habits, making change feel impossible without a system.

ADVICE

Start With One To Two Tiny Changes

Pick only one to two tiny changes per month so your nervous system won't sabotage you.
Small, repeated actions build confidence and create the repetition needed for lasting habits.

ANECDOTE

British Cycling's 1% Improvement Turnaround

Emma recalls the British cycling team's rise under Dave Brailsford using 1% improvements across many small areas.
Each tiny optimization added up to dominating the Tour de France and Olympics years later.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

top relying on goals that fail. Learn how tiny habits, systems, and 1% improvements create real, lasting change for mental health, motivation, and daily life.

Join the 31-day Emotion Processing challenge: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/htpe-30-skills-in-30-days-landing-page-1

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Tired of setting big goals on Monday and giving up by Wednesday? In this video, you’ll learn why goals fail—and why building tiny habits and simple systems is the key to real, lasting change. We’ll break down how to start tiny, create 1% improvements, shape your environment, and build habits that actually stick, even if you’ve tried and failed before. You’ll learn practical steps to change your mental health, reduce stress, stop relying on willpower, and design a system that makes the better life automatic. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, unmotivated, or stuck in the “valley of disappointment,” this will give you hope—and a clear plan.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.