In this episode of the Better Man Podcast we’ll be exploring why the idea of “toxic masculinity” is obscuring positive expressions of masculinity, and what it really means to be a man. There might not be somebody better suited toward this conversation than my guest on this episode, Ryan Michler, the founder of Order of Man.

What makes a man? Today’s guest, Ryan Michler, has been working to answer this question for years.

Ryan is a husband, father, Iraqi Combat Veteran, and the Founder of Order of Man. Ryan grew up without a permanent father figure and has seen first-hand how a lack of strong, ambitious, self-sufficient men has impacted society today.

He has made it his mission to help men step more fully into their roles as protectors, providers, and presiders over themselves, their families, their businesses, and their communities.

In today’s conversation, Ryan and I take a deep dive into what exactly masculinity is–and why there’s nothing inherently “toxic” about it, contrary to popular belief. We explore some of the very real threats and challenges affecting modern men, get to the root of what masculine emotions really are, and discuss how to use these feelings to take steps forward–not back–each and every day.

Key Takeaways with Ryan Michler

• What it means to be a leader in a relationship (without being a dictator or tyrant).
• Why every decision is a trade off–and how to recognize the autonomy you have over your life and deal with the consequences when you can’t be present for everything and everyone.
• Why masculinity is neither toxic nor good–and why the way we utilize our masculinity is much more important.
• How our society and the rise of fatherless homes has set young men up to fail in adulthood.
• Why masculinity has more to do with how you perform an activity than the activity itself.
• Why we conflate masculinity with a lack of emotion.
• How to recognize negative emotions, stop feeling shame, legitimize your feelings, and find safe outlets for them before they become bombs.
• How Ryan works through self-limiting beliefs.
• The biggest struggles Ryan sees with the men he works with.
• Why Ryan thinks jujitsu is overlooked or undervalued by most people.
• Why all men cry–except emotionally unhealthy ones.

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